Miss Popular and the Nerd

Ch. 24 Confronted

Chapter 24  

Confronted

Nessi POV

I am really nervous. I keep looking at my phone to look at the time. Still ten minutes until she should come. I totally forgot about how is I should tell her. I go through some possibilities in my head and mimic them out. I must look like a complete lunatic as I whisper on the bench in the park wailing impatiently. 

“So Hannah. I think you have already noticed things or signs. I have been acting weird around you lately. That is because of my love for you” No. That is so wrong.  

“Look, Hannah. You are an amazing person.” No. Uh-uh.  The beginning already sounds wrong. It has to be perfect! For me unattainable.

“I love you” Perfect! And then I already see her walking towards me. Swinging her hips she just looks extremely hot.  Those shorts showing off her thighs. I just want to grab her and kiss her. But  that has to wait. I don't even know if she likes me. 

“Hey! What's up?” she says casually, but hot. Her hotness radiates on me and makes my cheeks go red. I can feel my cheeks light up. This is so embarrassing! 

“Nothing much.” I mumble, trying to sound casual like her. My attempt fails. I am just so nervous that I can't not make me voice quiver .  

“So what do you want to tell me?” she says. Okay! The moment of truth. I can't run away now. I have been running away for so long now already. I have to face this head on. 

“No. You first. You also said you wanted to tell me something important.” I say. Of course I hesitate and just push it away. Why am I doing this to myself. I will probably die from not knowing her answer. This uncertainty is killing me. Ignoring my feeling won't help at all.  

“I don't know how to say this” she pauses. My mind fills the blank with “but I also love you”. Stop! Stay concentrated! Of course it would be a dream come true. This pause feels like it is taking ten minutes before she opens her mouth again. Why is she so hesitant?

“Remember my old habit of you know. Finger throat vomit thing.” she says slowly. 

“Yeah.” I reply unsurely. I don't like where this is going.  Please don't say she is doing it again. It was so hard to overcome last time. Please let it not have started again.

“I started again.” she says. My jaw drops and it takes a minute or two to realize what she just said. I lover her and I will go through this with her. No matter what I will be at her side. Then I am surprised by my confidence and take her hands.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to do this?” I say shyly. This is really happening. I am really going to tell her that I love her. Another obstacle to overcome. 

“What do you mean?” she answers, kind of leaning away from me. No! Don't go away. I quickly fill the gap between us and take a deep breath. 

“Ever since I met you. I don't know. From the moment I saw you I let you into my heart. You accepted me the way I was and still am. You accepted all my imperfections. You were always there for me  and I can't thank you enough for that.” I say.  

“Uh-huh” she says unsure of where this is going. I don't blame her. She must be really shocked, which I bet she is. 

“The thing is I love you” I say, staring at her hands and slowly looking up at her and seeking for an answer in her eyes.

“Aww. I love you too.” she says and hugs me. She loves me! Yes! I did it! I finally told her the truth about me feeling and feel clean and fresh now! It feels like the weight of the world suddenly dropped off my shoulders. This is such a relief. I am so happy! 

“Do you really love me?” I say kind of overwhelmed by the circumstances. I just want to be absolutely sure. 

“What do you mean love you? I mean it in a friendly way. Don't you?” she asks, pulling her hands away from my shoulders and looking at me awkwardly and kind of disapprovingly.

“Yeah. I love you in a...friendly way.” I say tears running down my cheeks. My world has just been crushed into pieces. All that is left behind is my useless, little life that I am living. I feel worthless and unnecessary. I stare at her. How can one person have such might over someone elses life. My life isn't worth living anymore. The tears are still rolling down my cheeks and there is nothing to make them stop.

“No. You don't. You really love me. Don't you?” she says, kind of laughing at me. Like she thinks it is funny. It is not funny. 

But I stand up and run away.

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Friend-zoned! Pls vote comment share prompte follow and Love corrected