Miss Popular and the Nerd

Ch. 33...

Chapter 33  

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Nessi POV  

Ever since I started cutting myself I couldn't stop. It is addicting. It relieves all the pain I have in me. I have wounds and cuts everywhere now. Wrists, legs, hips. Everywhere. It hurts. But I deserve it. I have enough of this misery. I am a total wreck. I haven't been in school. I haven't even talked to anybody. I am lonely. Ii have nobody at all. I look over at my dad opposite of me.
“I love you, dad.” I say. He doesn't say it back. There is only silence that greets me. I go up into to bathroom. I put on the water in the tub until it is half full. I send a text to Hannah.  

I love you. Come over in half an hour.  

Sender: Nessi

I take the blade. I can't do this anymore. I can't live anymore. I take the blade into my hand while I tears well up in my eyes. I cut into my skin. Deeper and deeper. Making the pattern more obvious and visible. I cut my wrists vertically so the blood won't clot and cut a pattern into my legs as well. Blood is dripping down my body so I quickly go inside tub. I look up as I get weaker. I think of her. The love of my life. The only person that it was worth living for. My everything. It feels like I am falling asleep. That this is only a dream of Hannah. I start to feel darkness but it isn't scary and I am not completely conscious of what's going on. Everything feels hazy. Everything starts sounding farther and farther away. My vision starts closing in. And then I just feel so much relief. Now that I decided to do it, I am just waiting for it to happen. So I close my eyes and it is like falling asleep. Then all at once I am gone and I didn't even realize I slip away. Into darkness. Into death. Into the end.  

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