Tongue Tied

September 2018

It was so strange sitting across from Natalie, having a glass of wine with her in a sleek, modern pub. It was a huge step up from the dirt-cheap alcopops we used to obsess over in the grimy student bar. We were much more grown up, yet somehow, I managed to feel more childish than ever. She looked like a real adult, with her gorgeous hair and expensive-looking clothes, nice nails and a face which looked like it took real time rather than cheap makeup shoved on in a rush. Our outfits of skinny jeans, black tops, and heels were almost identical, yet it was clear who was better off. Natalie really had it together, which was only highlighted by our conversation.

"So, yeah, that's how Harry proposed. On the beach in Bali just before Christmas, I totally wasn't expecting it. It's a shame he has to work and couldn't cope, I would love you to meet him. But then, I don't think anyone's bringing their partners anyway."

She flashed her ring at me again for added effect. The brightness of the jewel stung my eyes. Or maybe it was the agonising jealousy of everything it represented.

"That sounds so romantic. You must've been so happy."

"Well, as can be expected, Mum said it was too quick for me to get engaged, but we'd been together for almost a year by then. It isn't like I made a snap decision, I know what I'm doing. Honestly, I wish she'd just trust me."

There it was, another complex mother-daughter relationship. Only Natalie wouldn't get as bogged down by it as me. She let it roll off her like water on a duck's back.

"I'm sure she'll see at the wedding." I took a sip of drink, wincing at the bitter taste of wine. That never happened with the alcopops! "When is the wedding, by the way?"

"Oh, we aren't that far along with the plans. I'm not in any rush. For now, I'm just happy to be engaged." She sighed deeply with a small smile playing on the corners of her lips. "Anyway, we've done so much talking about me. We've talked about my job, my apartment, my love life...you must be getting sick of hearing it! Let's hear all about you."

My heart sunk, I got a heavy rock-like feeling in the pit of my stomach. Much as I knew this had to come eventually, I wasn't ready for it.

"Oh, there isn't much to tell really. I don't have an exciting life like yours."

"Come off it! You were the only one of us who had any chance of succeeding! Didn't you graduate, like, the best grades? You must've done something with that..."

"I work for a local newspaper."

"Oh, well that sounds amazing. You must really love it."

"Hmm, I don't know about that. It isn't exactly thrilling. Cornwall isn't exactly a journalist's dream."

"But, you're writing! You're going somewhere, you are..." She trailed off, seemingly sensing the sadness in my eyes. "Well, you and Scott must..."

"Nope." I had to interrupt her. No way I could go down road.

"Oh, right. I see, I guess I just thought..." She coughed uncomfortably. "Never mind, ey?"

"I had a car crash recently." I needed to say something and this was the only safe topic. "Not a horrific one, obviously considering, but bad enough."

"That sounds dreadful! What happened?"

Natalie leapt on this like it was her saving grace. I couldn't blame her, who'd want to discuss someone's boring, miserable life when their own was so wonderful?

"I don't know, really. I don't remember much of it. From what I've been told, the other guy's brakes failed which caused him to slam into the side of my car as I drove home from work." I shook my head thoughtfully. "Such a nothing day, a typical afternoon, and it quickly became very dramatic. It's just lucky I was stopped at traffic lights. That stopped it being fatal."