Voodoo Doll «ᴊᴀᴅᴇsʏ»

Chapter 9

There is always something that you just can’t fight.

Jesy couldn’t fight it anymore. It was almost as if she didn’t have a conscience anymore. Maybe it was the thrill. Maybe it was because she loved it so much. Maybe it was the danger, the fact that she couldn’t be caught. It fascinated Jesy—there was so much power in a little ragdoll.

Nothing could be heard in the tour bus except movement. Most sounds were the creaking of the wooden floor, the sound of the mattresses rearranging, or the clatter of plates and cups being moved around. There was the occasional conversation between Leigh-Anne and Perrie, but they were running out of things to talk about. Jade would try to join in, and the pair would hesitantly let her. After their little conversation the other day, Jade was trying to make Perrie and Leigh-Anne feel less inferior. Jade didn’t want to admit it to herself, but it wasn’t really working. Perrie and Leigh-Anne would seclude themselves and block Jade out.

Jesy would stay in her bunk day-in and day-out. There wasn’t a place she’d rather be. Jesy wouldn’t move unless she needed to—the occasion would be a meet-and-greet, a signing, or a concert. She went to all of those things. Jesy wanted to see Mixers, she really did, but she felt so out of place. She would go to the meet-and-greets and signings with a fake smile on her face and a faux cheery attitude. It was as if her heart was set incorrectly, but that wasn’t the case. Jesy’s heart was set on someone and only that someone—nothing else.

Jade felt awkward. What was she supposed to do? Leigh-Anne and Perrie wouldn’t talk to her, let alone would they talk to Jesy, and Jesy wouldn’t get out of bed unless it was work-related. Jade felt out of place, too. She felt alone. Day after day, Jade would try to make small talk with Leigh-Anne and Perrie, but it didn’t work. Day after day, Jade would try to get Jesy out of bed, but she couldn’t.

What was Jade doing wrong?

Was it something she did?

Was it something she didn’t do?

It left Jade thinking. What could possibly be wrong? Leigh-Anne and Perrie weren’t talking to anyone except for themselves. Jesy was secluding herself from everyone and everything; she hardly ever ate.

There was something wrong with their band, and Jade was determined to find out.

✘✘✘

Jade woke up determined and energetic. She knew what she was going to do today. She was going to treat the girls to breakfast today. It was perfect! She would talk to Leigh-Anne and Perrie, and she would get Jesy off her lazy (but gorgeous) bum and get her to do something.

Jade stopped for a second, replaying her thoughts. Did she really just say that Jesy had a gorgeous bum? She shrugged her shoulders to herself—it was true, anyway.

“Leigh! Pezz! It’s time to get up! I’m treating you to breakfast and you can’t say no-o!” Jade sang.

Leigh-Anne got up from her bunk tiredly, and she looked up at Perrie. Perrie was up, too, with a messy ’do, but she looked down at Leigh-Anne with the same expression. They got up hesitantly, not exactly excited for what’s to come.

“Jesy!” Jade called. “Jesy, get up! I’m treating everyone to breakfast!”

“I don’t want to get up,” Jesy said bluntly.

“You have to!” Jade said.

“I don’t want to.”

“You have to.”

“No.”

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Yes!”

“…No.”

Jade groaned. “You have to get up or so help me, Jessica Louise Nelson, I will pull you out of this bunk with your hair.”

Jesy grunted, but she got out of her bunk and got ready to go out. Leigh-Anne and Perrie followed her suit.

By the time the three of them got ready, Jade was waiting in the car. She told the driver that they were going to IHOP, and the four girls were off on the road. They all sat really awkwardly, as if they had just met each other for the first time. Leigh-Anne and Perrie were pressed against each other, holding each other’s hands. It was the only way each of them could feel comfortable. Jade with sitting with her ankles crossed and her fingers laced together, too awkward to sit in any other position. Jesy, however, was calm and collected. She was playing with the doll in her fingers, playing with its hair and turning it with her fingers.

You could cut the tension with a knife in there.

“That’s a nice doll you’ve got there, Jess.” Jade was trying to make small talk.

“Thanks,” Jesy said softly. She felt really bad ignoring Jade, but Jesy couldn’t afford to make small talk. Making someone fall in love with you is hard work, after all.

“Are you guys comfortable?” Jade asked Perrie and Leigh-Anne. “You seem a little squished there.”

The two girls tightened their grips on each other’s hands. “We’re fine,” Perrie said bluntly.

Perhaps it’ll take a chainsaw to cut the tension.

By the time the girls arrived at the restaurant, camera flashes were already occurring. Perrie and Leigh-Anne were already holding hands, so Jade quickly grabbed a hold of Jesy’s hand. Jade looked at the girls, and she sighed.

“Listen,” Jade said. “I understand if you think we’re broken. Maybe we are. But believe me, there is nothing I want more than the four of us to patch things up again. I don’t know what happened, but I want us to fix it. I want us to go in there and talk. I want us to work things out. Maybe you don’t want to. Maybe you all hate me now, but I wouldn’t mind if you just told me so. Just say that you hate me, and I’ll be okay, just as long as you say something, because I am sick and tired of not talking. So go ahead and think whatever you want to think, just talk to me. Even if you need to give the paparazzi fake smiles and sickly-sweet voices to patch up how messed up our friendship is, I’ll be okay if you just talk to me.” Jade stopped and took a deep breath.

“I’d give anything to hear your voices again. Anything.”

Jade and Jesy walked out first, and Leigh-Anne and Perrie were second. There were camera flashes everywhere, and the four girls did what Jade advised—they gave fake smiles for the media to see.

It wasn’t until they stepped into the restaurant that Jade realized how broken their band was.