Suicide Partners || m.y.g

14 | M O M

Shujin

"Yoongi ... Are you going to join the training?" I turned my head towards the voice .. I was accompanying yoongi to his locker before we head to my house to start on the physics project ..

"No Jimin .. how many times do I have to tell you ? I am not playing and I will never , ever play basketball again" I was startled at the sudden change in his tone .. why is he so sensitive so suddenly ?

"Yoongi .. You knew yourself more then I do .. the team needs you .. we all need you .. think about it .. " As soon as he said those , Jimin left to the basketball court ..

"ARGHH !!" A hit , then another till there's a dent on his locker .. I stepped in and stopped him .. or else he is gonna end up having a jacked up knuckles ..

"Hey hey yoongi shhh enough enough .. calm down alright ?" I squeezed his body in mine and calmed him .. okay Shujin you can do this .. I rubbed his back slowly and let him breathe .. I always use this method .. which is counting till 10 to calm myself down ..

"Count till 10 Yoongi.. breathe " I whispered ... his breathing hard next to my ear ..

"O-one  ..."

"two ..."

" three ..."

Min yoongi ... 

"F-four "

"Five"

I don't know ...

"Six"

"s-seven"

I don't like watching him get mad at stuffs ..

"eight"

"nine"

it bothers me

"ten"

I released the hug and looked at his face to figure out his emotions .. and I'm glad that he is back .. the min yoongi I know is back .. I smiled ..

"Let's go home .. I'll cook you food.. okay?" I started walking , with our hands intertwined together .. As the sounds of our footsteps match , I heard a faint whisper ;

"Okay doll face ..."

At home , Yoongi was silent .. And it scares me a lot .. I wish that I could read his mind .. I served a bowl of ramen in front of him and took my seat ...

"So .. do you want to talk about it?" I cautiously look at his eyes .. they were dark .. Yoongi sighs hard , and took his chopsticks ..  finally eating his food .. okay maybe he doesn't want to talk about it .. I should just mind my own fucking business and shut up

"My mum ..."

his mum?

my eyes slowly darted from my bowl of ramen to his bowl of ramen .. swallowing hard , I listened ..

"She was there on every tournament I went ... " I gulped hard once more .. "Did she decide not to go anymore ? is that why you were so mad ?" Be careful .. be careful with your words lee Shujin ..

"she's gone ... okay? and its all my fault " I set down my chopsticks to hold his free hand .. "Yoongi no .. damn it I'm sorry that I brought this up .. I didn't mean to okay? Don't blame yourself " He smiles .. but I know it was a sad one ..

"Shujin .. Listen .. I want you to listen " I froze on my spot and let my eyes swim in the lost and dreadful eyes of min yoongi .. he must've suffered ... for a long time .. I can feel it

"My family was doing so well .. I was a happy 10 Years old boy ... until one night .. one stupid night" as he speaks , the goosebumps on my arms stood up , his jaw tightened with every word .. "He went out and brought another girl back home .. can you imagine how my mother felt? c-can you?" I nod my head slowly ..

"they fought .. day by day , dad turned into another person .. he's a workaholic .. and an alcoholic .. he didn't come back home to us .. he was busy living his life .. " my heart squeezed .. I can't ..

"Mum committed suicide .. she drowned herself in the cold cold river .. I was too late Shujin .. I was t-too late to save her ~" as if i was hallucinating , the boy sitting opposite of me started crying ..

I was frozen .. I don't know how to react .. angry ? sad ? I have mixed emotions about his story .. He experienced crap at a young age .. just thinking about how long he endured the pain makes me feel sad ...

my hand reached out to his cheeks .. and dried his tears away .. sometimes I wonder .. did the outside world get to see this side of him? or is it just me ?

"Hey .. Stop crying ~ ..."

'its okay to feel hurt'

"its not your fault Yoongi .. Stop blaming yourself .. be happy .. for her at least .. " my heart stung .. its like , those words I just said were meant for me ..

be happy

for sojin at least

"no .. We made a deal .. We are going to suicide together no matter what" I gulped hard .. he's right .. Yoongi is right ...

suicide partners ..

that's what we are ..

we're going to die together ..

nothing is going to change that ..

I took his bowl together with mine and head to the sink to wash them as soon as we both finished eating  ... my back was facing him ..

"You know . . besides being a perfect companion, You can be a perfect wife too you know ?" I snorted at his statement .. you gotta be kidding me "Me? When I just served you ramen with cheese on top?" its his turn to chuckle ...

"I'm gonna be dead before I get to be one yoongi " sad but its reality

I ask a lot of stupid questions to myself ... when I die one day , will I miss the air ? will I miss the clouds ? will I miss the earth ? what does it feels like to die ? these questions lead me to blankness..  the answers were unthinkable ...

when I die , will I meet sojin again?

+ babam !! hello ~ I hope u guys +
are having an awesome day because its FABruary hehe .. I just blinked and its already February wow ..