"She's in there, dying!", I yelled. "I'm sorry but you can't go in there right now." I started crying. "I can't believe this.. My wife is dying, and I can't go in to be with her.. What is this place?"
Jack put his hand on my arm. "Jessica, you got to calm down", he said. I frowned and brushed him off. "Calm down?!" I started laughing. "You really don't get it, do you?" "Get what?", he asked. "What would you do if your wife was in there, dying of cancer, waiting for you to be with her?" He looked down for a second. "I'd want to be with her, but-". I cut him off. "So why can't you let me in?" He sighed.
"It's protocol, Jessica. As long as she's this weak, she can't get near other people. It'll fasten the process as soon as she gets in touch with bad germs. Her immune system is really bad because of chemo. One germ, one sneeze, and it can be over."
"I can't believe I can't do anything. Does she even know I'm here?", I asked. He nodded. "Can't I just go in with some mask or something? I'll do anything. Just let me see her." I walked to the door and looked through the small window. She was half asleep. I smiled and placed my hand on the window. "Hang in there, please. I'll be with you as soon as I can", I said.
Suddenly she started coughing, like she couldn't breathe.
"What's going on?", I asked as I started panicking. He looked inside the room.
"Shit", he said. He grabbed his pager.
After a few seconds, people with masks showed ran inside.
"Kim!", I yelled trying to get inside. "You have to stay here, Jessica", he said as he pulled me back. "They're doing everything they can." "This is fucking bull shit! I'm going in as soon as she's okay!", I yelled hitting the wall.
I watched them trying to safe her. I cried, hoping I did get to see her.
Fifteen minutes later, a guy walked out.
"I'm sorry..", he started. I shook my head. "No.. this can't be happening", I said as tears were forming in my eyes. "You didn't try hard enough!", I yelled. I denied everything. She couldn't be dead. She just couldn't.
"Let me in!", I yelled. They let me through and I ran inside.
"My baby..", I said as I stood by her bed. Tears rolled down my face. "I'm sorry", I said as I sat beside her. I grabbed her hand and held it against my face. It was still warm.
"I'm so, so sorry. They wouldn't let me in", I said as if she was still alive.
I just looked at her for a while.
"I already miss you so much", I said. I never let go of her hand.
"I'm never going to forgive myself, or anyone, for not letting me see you. But I was right here. I was right outside. I hope you knew that. I'd never leave you. I wish I would've just pushed everyone aside. I shouldn't have let them stop me."
"Jessica, we gotta move her", Jack said. I looked up and shook my head. "Just five more minutes, please. You owe me that", I said. He sighed and nodded.
I laid next to her, one last time. I wrapped my arms around her and buried my face into her neck. Her body was getting cold, making me realize that she was actually gone.
I just cried.
For a second, I thought everything was just fine. She would just wake up and greet me in of the ways she always did.
"Hey baby", she said as she tightly wrapped her arms around me. She brushed her fingers through my hair and planted a kiss on my forehead. "I love you", she said. I smiled. "You say that every morning", I said. She nodded. "I want you to start your day, knowing I love you." "I love you too", I said smiling.
-
"Hey beautiful." I turned around and saw Kim standing there with a bouquet of daisies, my favorite flowers. "You always find a way to surprise me", I said smiling. "Gotta keep you interested", she said. I walked to her. "You'll never, ever bore me."
-
"Hi you", she said. The cutest smile ever formed on her face, causing my stomach to go crazy. "What are you doing?", she asked and giggled. I gave her the most passionate kiss. "I'm just so in love with you", I said as I rubbed her cheek with my thumb. "You're leaving me speechless", she said. I smiled. "You don't have to say anything."
-
"Jessica, it's time", Jack said as he walked in. I got up and stood next to her bed.
"I love you", I said before they rolled her away. I placed a soft kiss on her forehead and rubbed her cheek. I looked at her, knowing I'll never see her again.
"Miss?", one of the nurses asked. I looked up at them and nodded.
They rolled her out of the room.
I just stood there, in an empty room, and I swear I could hear her speak.
I guess it was just my imagination, but it was what kept me going.
