"I can't believe our band got picked to tour with fucking Foo Fighters!", Kaitlyn yelled out. "What?!", I yelled as I got up. "We won!" "You won!" We both jumped up and down, cheering. "I'm so happy for you!", I said hugging her. "Yeah! I can't believe this. Six months of doing the thing I love to do most, with one of the greatest bands to exist." "Wait, six months?", I asked. My mood instantly changed. "I thought you knew that?", Kaitlyn said. "I didn't. I thought it were just a few shows." I sat down at the kitchen table. "Allison.." She joined me and grabbed my hands. "It'll be over before you know it. You can even come to a few shows", she said. I pulled my hands away.
"I feel like you never think about our future", I said. "Where did that came from?", she asked. "You're going away for six months, without even checking to see if I'm okay with that." She frowned. "So you have to be okay with it before I can go? I have to have your permission to follow my dreams? Is that it?" I shook my head. "That's not what I meant. I mean to say that we could've discussed it and see what we can do", I said. "It's just six months, Allison." "A lot can happen in six months, Kaitlyn." She shrugged her shoulders, not saying anything.
"Where do you see your life going in five years?", I asked breaking the silence. "I don't know", she said. "You know. Tell me." She sighed. "I want our band to be the greatest. I want to tour the world, meet people and just live my dream. I want my life to be about music and I think I'm almost there", she said. I nodded. "What about me?", I asked. "Am I there?" "I don't know Allison. Are we really having this talk right now?" "We've been together for 4 years. Don't you think it's time we start planning our future?", I asked. She sighed. "I don't know if you're there. If the band really makes it, I wouldn't be home anymore. I wouldn't have time for you anymore and I don't want that for you." I stood up and walked into the kitchen. "Where do you see your life going in five years then? What do you think it'll look like?", she asked. I shrugged my shoulders. "I don't know anymore", I said. "What did it look like?" "I see myself with you, living in the big city with two kids. You're in a local band, just performing in bars and small festivals instead of somewhere in China."
She frowned.
"What about your writing? If you think about that, where do you want to be with writing?", she asked. I sighed. "I want to have a couple books published. Earn my money with that and tour the country", I said. "See? You wouldn't have time for me too." I nodded. "But unlike you, I'd give up that dream for us." "How can you give up a dream just to maybe have the future you're hoping for? How could you ever be happy with that?" "Because I'm happiest with you", I said. She stayed quiet, not knowing what to say. I walked past her and into the living room.
"When do you leave?", I asked. "Tomorrow." I nodded. "Enough time to pack your things and go", I said. "What do you mean?", she asked. "I mean, get a hotel room and get out." "What? You can't just kick me out. I thought we were having an adult conversation?" I nodded. "You want to finish the conversation? Great. I think in these six months, you're going to sleep around with some of your band mates or groupies. The person you were before we got together, confirms it. You can't stay with someone for six months and not have that physical contact." "I can", she said. "We both know you can't, Kaitlyn." She looked away. "And I think in five years, I'm going to be a stranger to you. I wouldn't be important enough to keep in touch with because you'll be that famous woman who everyone adores. You could get anyone you want, so why stay with one person. I think in seven years, you'll be dead. You'll overdose on some drug because you can't handle the fame anymore and you'll be dead."
She just looked at me.
"Do you have anything to add to that?", I asked. "You know that I love you", she said. I shrugged my shoulders. "Hard to believe when you choose everything else over me." She shook her head. "Don't be like that, Allison. I love you more than anything." She reached for my hand but I pulled away. "If you don't start getting your things, I will." I walked passed her and up the stairs.
"No, wait", she said. "I'll go."
She packed her things and walked down the stairs.
"Are you sure about this?", she asked. I nodded. "Just give me a chance." I sighed. "You have one chance. It's either me, or the band." She didn't say anything. "Yes, I'm sure about this." She grabbed her bags and stepped outside. "Have a great carreer", I said. I shut the door behind me and broke down crying. The tears that I had held in for what felt like hours, finally escaped my eyes.
I walked upstairs and crawled in bed.
My phone buzzed a couple of times, but I ignored it. I turned around, watching the clock. It was only 8 pm, but it felt like I had been awake for three days. My phone buzzed again, but just once. I turned back and reached for my phone. I had a voicemail from her.
"Hey, it's me. I wanted to say that these next six months won't be the way you think they will be. I'll behave and I'll be back before you know it. I'm not asking you to wait for me, but if you do, you won't regret it."
And there was a text.
"I love you, Allison."
I put down my phone, turning one last time and shutting my eyes.
The next morning I woke up, I looked at the clock. 11 am. Kaitlyn should be on the plane by now. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen, making myself some coffee.
I sat down on the couch, taking a sip when the doorbell rang. I sighed and got up to open the door. "What are you doing here?", I asked.
"I choose you."
