"Hurry!", I yelled up, waiting for her to get ready. "Almost done!", she yelled back. "So if I'm gonna come upstairs, I'll find you almost ready?" I took a few steps up the stairs and waited for an answer. Nothing.
"See? You're half naked. Come on, we're late already", I said standing in the doorway. She sighed. "It's called fashionably late. I'll be down in 10 minutes", she said. I frowned. "I promise." I rolled my eyes and went back downstairs.
I laid down on the couch, scrolling through my phone.
A while later, she still wasn't ready. I walked to the stairs.
"Isabella! It's been 25 minutes, come on!", I yelled up. She finally walked down the stairs. "What took you so long?", I asked. "I had to get ready, okay? Jesus christ." She grabbed her keys and walked out the door. I frowned, not knowing what just happened.
"What's wrong?", I asked getting in the car. "Nothing. It's just annoying when you have to tell me to hurry up, every single time we're going somewhere. I know we're late, I'm not stupid", she said. "Well, okay then."
-
"Hey! So glad you could make it!", the host said as we got to the party. "Hey Sophie! Sorry we're late", I said. She smiled. "Isabella again?" I nodded. "It's okay." I handed her her present and walked into the living room, getting Isabella and myself a drink.
She was sitting on the couch, talking to some guy.
I handed her her drink and sat down next to her.
"So I was talking to this old guy at the grocery market, and.." "It's grocery store", I said interrupting him. Isabella looked at me and frowned. "Whatever, Sam. You know what he means." She turned back to the guy. "Go on."
"So I was talking to this old guy at the grocery STORE", he said looking at me. I nodded and leaned back, chugging my drink.
I watched them play with each others fingers. I watched them look each other in the eyes.
The little things really killed me.
I got myself a bottle of vodka and drank as much as I could.
"Hey, are you okay?", a girl asked me. I looked at her. The room was spinning. "Uh.." I got up and ran into the bathroom. I fell down to my knees, next to the toilet, and threw up. This went on for a few minutes, until I felt better.
I leaned against the wall and buried my face into my knees.
There was a bang on the door. I got up and drank some water. There was another bang on the door. "Come on, man. Get out of there", a guy said. I pulled myself together and walked out. I looked around me, and saw Isabella making out with the guy she was talking to.
I walked out the front door, not knowing where I was going. All I could think of was her with that guy. "I'm all yours", was what she was saying over and over again.
A cold breeze hit my skin, making me realize I left my coat at the party. "Fuck", I said to myself. I kept walking, trying to get the image of her out of my head. "Fuck!", I yelled as I kicked a street pole. I took a deep breath and kept walking.
I tried to get the image out of my head. I kept thinking; "can't I just walk?". "Can't I just walk?!", I yelled. A few people were staring at me, thinking I was crazy. I just brushed it off and turned around the corner.
I sat down on the side walk, and light up a cigarette. I stared down at my heels, which were killing me. Isabella said she loved these, and she'd marry any girl wearing them. So I worked extra shifts, and got them. I put on my finest outfit, my finest coat and my finest heels, but none of those were enough.
I didn't know where to go. I didn't want to go home, but I also didn't want to back to the party. So I just kept walking.
I saw a diner, and walked in. "Excuse me, miss?" She turned around. "Are you still open?" She sighed and pointed at a sign that said 'open 24 hours'. "Thanks", I said. I slid into a booth and sighed.
The imagine of Isabella was still in my head. "I'm all yours." It was repeating itself over and over again.
"Miss? Excuse me? Miss, can I.. Can I order something?" She sighed and grabbed a notepad. "What do you want?", she asked. "Can I get a coffee, and.. are there still people in the kitchen?", I asked. She pointed at the sign. "Right, 24 hours. A burger, please", I said. She just walked away. I wanted to kick her in the fucking face.
"I'm all yours", Isabella said as she pulled of her shirt. He gently laid her down on the bed, as he unbuttoned his shirt. "I'm all yours", she said again.
I jumped up when the waitress threw the check of the table. "What?", I said as I looked around. The sun was shining. Have I slept here? I grabbed my phone and checked for messages. All from my parents, wanting to know where I am. "Fuck", I said to myself. "Can I just have another coffee?", I asked. She sighed and walked back to the bar.
"Hey, you with the makeup", I heard. I don't know why, but by the way I felt and probably looked, I could tell I was 'you with the makeup'. "Yeah?" I looked up. A family was sitting at a table across from me. "Are you okay over there?", the guy asked. "Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you." He smiled. "Do you want to join us for some french toast?", he asked. Fuck yeah I wanted some french toast. "No, I'm good. Thanks tho", I said. "We won't take no for an answer", the woman said. "Come on." I smiled. "Fine", I said. I got up and sat at their table. "Karen? That's your name, right? Karen", the guy said. The waitress pointed at her name tag. "Right. Can we get a plate of some delicious, fluffy french toast?", the guy asked.
"Wait. I forgot I don't have any money to pay you..", I said. He shook his head. "It's on us." I smiled. "Thank you."
We talked about how rough my night was, and how they were on a road trip and got hungry so they decided to stop for some breakfast.
"Look", he said as he took out a picture of him and his wife. "We were so young", he said. "It's a beautiful picture", I said. He smiled as I handed it back to him. "You're so old now", the kid said. We all laughed.
"Well, we should hit the road again", the woman said. I nodded and got up. "Thank you, for everything", I said. They all hugged me. "Good luck, with everything", he said before I walked out.
I thought about what the guy said. "We were so young." And I was younger than them in that picture. And I thought this moment, right now, was the end. And I thought about how maybe one day, I'll end up in a diner with my family, 30 years from now. And I thought about how he was feeling. And I thought about yesterday, with Isabella, and how we're so young, and yet we stood there like we mattered and we knew what we were doing and how to do it. And now today, we were so old, and we don't know what we're doing, or how to do it and we're lost.
How we wished we were younger. We wished we were young enough to live, and old enough to laugh, and old enough to smoke, and young enough to cry. And it's true, you keep getting older, and you keep getting colder, and you keep getting taller, and you keep getting sadder.
But for now, I'm young, I'm so damn young.
