Volleyball

Chapter Fifteen

Call me a coward or a chicken because I was scared to meet her. I couldn't pull my feet out of my car and pulled my butt up from the chair. I sighed a lot of times and I tried to think of different words she could believe. I knew I had lost her trust but I had lost it for nothing. She believed in a trash gossip from Collins. And it was probably weeks ago Collins had told the cheerleader.

  Still a coward I was, sitting in my car, thinking of words. Words may be simple but, at the present time, you need them to mean so deeply and make Valerie trust me again. 

  I parked my car near the lobby and the main gate so I could see whoever came in and out.

  I turned on the radio and let the music from it fill the silence in my car while I sat there like a dork waiting for someone without any good effort. I blew my nose with a tissue after sneezing once. I sat up straight when a woman came out of the hospital building and headed to a car. I recognized the woman. It was Valerie's mother. I got out of my car without turning off the radio and approached towards her.

  "Good evening, Mrs. Matthews," I greeted her while she almost jumped a bit, but then calmed down. "I'm Ben, Valerie's friend. Remember me?"

  She stayed quiet, studying my face and remembering me, and then finally said, "Oh, yeah. Ben Miller, I remember you." Her eyes lit up when she smiled. "How are you?"

  "I'm fine, thank you." Back to the real problem. "Er, I was wondering if Valerie is here?"

  "Yes, she is here, probably still in Isabelle's room," she said. "Meet her there if you want."

  "Oh, may I?" I said, surprised.

  "Of course, Ben."

  "Thank you, Ma'am," I said, smiling. "Good night."

  "Good night."

  I jogged towards the lobby and headed straight to Isabelle's room. Nervous feelings filled my body. What should I say to Valerie? Would she listen to me? Would she even stay still in front of me instead of walking away? Well, I had to try. But I had tried and it didn't work. And?

  I arrived in the corridor of Isabelle's room. Her room was the third room on the left. I stopped in front of her door when I had a thought coming across my mind.

  Should I leave Valerie alone for awhile and let her think or be alone? Maybe it was the saddest thought to leave her yet it was probably the most working plan to do.

  I didn't open the door or knock it. Maybe I had to leave the both of us apart from each other so we both could clear our minds and when the time came, we were ready with each other. Good thought, Ben.

  I forgot how to breathe when I peeked through the window and I saw Valerie grabbing a tissue from the table next to the bed where Isabelle was sleeping on, and then went back to her chair next to the bed, her back facing me. She held Isabelle's hand and I saw her shoulders were shaking. I realized she was crying while Isabelle was sleeping. Oh, my God.. So, this is the girl I fell in love with. She was fine on the outside but she was broken on the inside yet she didn't want anyone to see it.

  I turned around on my heels before anyone could see me stalking at a patient like a creep. I walked back to my car, feeling empty, and drove to my house.

***

  The next days at school were typical days I always experienced if I was doing fine. School, lessons, tests, quizes, breaks, more lessons, more tests, more quizes, another break time, lessons, school ends, volleyball time until evening, work at the cinema, meeting Kim, studying and sleeping. I always forgot to eat, even though the food was always served in the kitchen.