who you are

Part 10

Daniel and I decided to play on the playground because you can't just sit there and talk all the time it gets boring. It was actually really fun to just play again like we were kids. It almost makes you stop and think. As teenagers, we think that all these little kid games are lame and boring but I don't want to deal with responsibility all the time. Most of the time I just want to stop working but I know that I can't.

I'm not going to lie. I am a straight A student but I hate working hard. The only reason I do it is so that I can get into a good college. All my friends at school aren't great students which are really hard for me because I don't understand why they don't want to do their work. During the school year, we will be texting back and forth and they'll tell me that they don't feel like doing their homework that is due first period the next day.

The worst part is that they wonder why their grades are so bad and can't even be happy for me when I get on the honor roll. I tell them that I would be more than happy to help them out but they don't want my help. It hurts me to see them go through this but then I realize that in the end, they are only hurting themselves so I just let it go. I tried to help them and that's all that matters. I must have been really deep in thought because I heard Daniel calling me.

"Yes, what," I said snapping back to the present. "You just seemed like you were somewhere else. I thought you were on another planet. It was the weirdest thing ever," he told me. "I was just thinking about school. Sometimes I kind of zone out. My vision gets blurry, I can't process the sounds that I'm hearing and I forget where I am," I told him casually. "I don't think that's normal Alex," he told me.

"Really? It happens to me all the time but then again I'm not normal so that would make sense," I said with a laugh in my voice. "Alex, do your parents know about this? It could be serious," he said. He sounded really worried which made me feel weird. I didn't want to lie but then I don't want him to worry so I told him that they knew but didn't care. Which was mainly true because they knew about it but never did anything about it.

He just told me that my parents should care but he doesn't know that all they care about is my younger brother. My friends joke about it sometimes saying that if he stubbed his toe they would care more than if I broke my arm. It's sad how true that probably was. One time we were getting ready for school and he punched me in the arm and I said ow a bit loud and I was the one who got in trouble because we couldn't wake up the neighbors. What even?