who you are

Part 34

It was almost summer and I couldn't wait! I had two more weeks left at a school full of people with horns and pitchforks. I mean okay that probably wasn't the best way to describe it but after the kind of year I had there it would work. I was kind of sad because I had good memories there but none of them were from this year because this year wasn't even like living in a nightmare it was me in a nightmare that I was never going to wake up from until I was out of there.

Last year was amazing. I don't know what went wrong this year. Maybe being chill wasn't the best way for me to be but I kind of liked caring a bit less. No really wanting something=nothing to make me upset. Maybe next year I could be a little bit more balanced and try to be who I was before I went to this school. I thought that this person I had evolved into was who I really wanted to be and would be amazing but really not many people liked her.

Well, no one that is except for Daniel. He understood me best. I guess if you tell someone everything you get closer to them because you know that you can trust them and they know how to act based on what's going on in that person's head. Maybe telling Megan things was good and that's how we got to be so close last year. I missed her so much. I sure didn't show it but every time I thought about her I cried and I thought about her a lot. 

I wish that I could just talk to her and help her to understand and just be friends with her again but friendship can't be forced so I couldn't get that friendship back if she didn't care and from the way she treated me she didn't care one bit. I guess that the lesson I learned from this whole disaster is just to be who I truly am on the inside because a mask doesn't hide everything. Sometimes the mask falls down and people think that your fake and that's not fun. 

This was a good life lesson and I feel like if there was one thing that I could say to her I would make sure that I thanked her for this lesson. I know that it was a hard lesson to learn but it was one that everyone is probably going to learn at some point. If you can't be yourself around your friends they obviously aren't good friends. They are probably toxic and you should get away from them as quick as you can because the longer you stay the more you are poisoned. 

I think that with everything that has happened over the past two years of my life I will be able to take that knowledge and use it when I am at my new school next year. I really hope that I can make a few friends that will last and hopefully Daniel will stick around long enough to see that happen. I am really excited to start this new chapter of my life and see where this torture called life takes me.