Dear Diary

Day 29

Important announcement in the Author's Note. Please check it out!

Goals for the next few months

Dear Diary,
                        Last time this challenge demanded my goals, I wrote that I have yet to find the tunnel to get to the light at the end of it, which would be my hope for the future.

It makes me happy to say that I have found my tunnel and I am struggling towards the light.

I started from scratch, and I may not be all the way there but I am working towards it and it's very satisfactory.

I have set so many goals for myself that now, everyday I wake up, I feel like I have to do something.
I don't feel like it won't make much of a difference if I don't get up that morning.

Because I know that my existence can and will make a difference, if not for anyone else than at least for me.

So in the next few months, I will be trying to establish a relationship with my mother.
I'm not hoping for that relationship to be super awesome, but whatever it may be, it will be better than where we are today.

I have applied to a few good colleges and in a few months from now I will be graduating high school and attending a good college.

I will be, if I have the courage, soon contacting Luke and will be visiting him too.

I will be, again if I have the courage, visiting my dad and Travis's grave.

I will be working towards improving my relationship with Brandon.

I will apologize to all those who I have hurt and I will forgive all those who have hurt me.

I will be working on improving myself, because that's the most important thing for me right now.

In a few months, there will never be a day where I will look over to a person and feel a pang in my chest about how I let them go.

In a few months, I want to forget what regret feels like.
Maybe I'll even embrace my red hair.
Maybe.

In a few months, I'll try to overcome my problems.

I will overcome all thoughts about my lowest time and I will throw away the razor in my bathroom.

I will make sure that my upcoming birthday is not like my previous one, I'll make sure it's not filled with tears.

I will make sure I have a good relationship with both my parents. Maybe my dad's listening up there, maybe he's not, but I can try to talk to him.

I will also talk to Travis's mom and tell her that I can understand how she feels.

I hope I can forgive myself. I will try, that's for sure.

But it's easy to forgive others, it's very hard to forgive yourself.

I will be alright.
I will be happy.

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Also, isn't this new cover amazing? This one is also made by lunarlevana_