Dear Diary

Day 30

What would you say to someone who is reading this?

Dear Diary,
I cannot believe this challenge is over.
This challenge, that has shaped and molded me into a whole new person is coming to an end.

Quite frankly, this makes me a little scared. I always knew that whenever I would have a bad day, this Tumblr challenge and you, my dearest diary, will always be there and now you just won't be there.
You just....won't, not the same way at least.

Did you know that we can buy old love letters off of eBay?
Maybe one day when I die, this Diary will be sold online too.
And then in some place in the future, some teenager will sit in their room and read this diary thinking about this twisted girl in the past who found her way through life.
And then maybe they'll have the hope to find their way too.

So dear stranger, I dedicate this challenge to you.
To whoever is reading this, I want you to know just how important you are.

You are wanted.
You are needed.
If not by anyone else, then by yourself.

Learn to put yourself first, because nobody will do it for you.

Don't believe in hope.
Hope is stupid, hope holds no promises.
Believe in yourself, believe in the future that you can make for yourself and most importantly believe in the future that God can make for you.

I know somethings in life seem very twisted right now.
But even the tightest of knots untangle someday.

You're a good person, we all have good somewhere in us, and God doesn't do wrong to good people. Whatever you're going through is just a test, one you have to pass.

This life is a challenge, live it as one.

Sadness and happiness are two peas in a pod, you can't really ever separate them, so learn to appreciate your adversity the way it is.

Mend what is broken, even if you weren't the one who broke it.
But stop trying if your efforts are not being appreciated.

Learn to let go.

Stop looking for answers you know you won't find.

Don't blame yourself for something that isn't proven yet.

Don't run after the love of another person, it's a luxury only few can afford.
Learn to love yourself first, and then you can find love in anybody and everybody.

Cut all the toxic people out of your life.

Don't live for people, live for yourself.

Maybe you feel like your parents hate you, maybe you feel like a burden.
But you're not, and I'm here to tell you that.
I'll say it as many times as you want.
You are not a burden.
You are not a burden.
You. Are. Not. A. Burden.

Don't be unnecessarily rude to anyone.

You weren't born because you wanted to be born, it was someone's decision to bring you into this world.
So it's not your decision to take your life, because many people's life is connected to yours.

And if, right now, you're thinking that nobody gives a shit about your life.
Remember that on 16th February, 2018, a girl wrote this diary and she cares.
Or cared, depending on when you're reading this (because it would be creepy to talk about me in present tense if I'm dead)
But she will always care.
Even if I'm dead, I'm looking upon you from the heavens and thinking about how you should not die.

Think about what you would do if the world were to end tomorrow, and then go do that.

Don't waste your birthday in the sadness of getting old, age is just a number, it's the heart that matters.
Because some people die way before their death.

Thank your parents for everything they have ever done.

If you're scared of something, face it head on.
It takes time, trust me I know, I haven't been able to do it yet either but I'm sure I will someday.

Learn from your mistakes, they're the biggest guidelines.

Read books, watch movies, eat what you want and just live.
Just. Live.

Make someone smile every day.

After a long day, if all you've done is worked to make yourself a better person, know that I'm proud of you.

You don't need to be involved in any beauty or fashion parade, you're perfect just the way you are.

If you feel like your pain is exploding inside of you, let it explode.
Scream.
Cry.
Break things.
Just don't break yourself because you want people to believe you're okay.

Dear future person, most of all remember this one thing.
About thirty weeks ago, a girl living in a flimsy house in Chicago decided to take up a Tumblr challenge to prove to her friend that she wasn't broken.
One day, she just sat down in front of her window, pulled out her old diary and started scribbling away about the love that she once lost while the annoying chirping of the bird pecked on her mind and the hot summer breeze kept sending her hair into weird directions and that too during a bad hair day.
And then, another day, about thirty weeks later, the girl again sat down in front of her window as she had been doing for the past thirty weeks, pulled out her old diary and started scribbling away to you while the chirping of the birds was like a melody to her ears and the cold winter breeze gently caressed her hair on a good hair day.
Something magical had happened in those thirty weeks that turned every annoying thing into something beautiful.
Something that fixed the broken pieces of a shattered girl.
She wasn't all the way there, but she knew she was trying and that meant the world to her.
She was fixing something that she once thought was beyond amendment.
So if she, Veronica Stanley, the most stubborn person on the entire planet, could fix herself, so can you.

If I can do it, so can you.
I have no superhuman powers whatsoever that you do not possess.

If I can, so can you.

I am okay.
And you will be too.

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I was so scared to upload this! This, my dear friends, is the end of the challenge.
Next stop: epilogue.
Y'all don't even know how hard it is for me to end this story.
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PLEASE!