WAR ➳ nalu vs. graylu

Chapter 15: Confusing Love

WARNING: this chapter gets a bit mature for younger audiences, so please, viewer discretion is advised.

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Fairy Tail Guild House

4:00pm

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[LUCY'S P.O.V]

It's been weeks. But it's felt like years. I'm trying so hard to hold on the the slither of love that I had for Gray but it's slipping through my fingers. It's gotten to the point that I don't even mind if Natsu visits me at home now. At least he's here with me. At least he still cares despite everything. But it's hard to open up to him because everything that's happened is because of him.

"Luce? Lucy?" I heard Natsu say. I turned to him. He had a worried look on his face. We were sitting at the guild bar. A cold glass of water in my hand. Me and Natsu have been on a few jobs lately. It's been... seven weeks? six weeks? Yeah. Six weeks since Gray left. Everyday, I miss his touch. I was also afraid of him. Afraid of what he'd do to me. I love him. I loved him. But Natsu is trying to hard. It's like he sees this as a chance at me. Attacking me while I'm down.

"Yeah, I'm fine, Natsu." I said in a slightly harsh tone. I didn't want his company right now. But he did try to comfort me. So I guess I could appreciate that. He sighed at the disappointment of my response and put a hand on my shoulder.

"Lucy, I need to show you something. Meet me at your place in 10 minutes." He said. I nodded hesitantly.

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Lucy's House

4:10pm

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[NATSU'S P.O.V]

Lucy arrived just on time. I was surprised that she actually came. Well, it was her house anyway. I looked at her. Her eyes filled with some kind of hope. I knew she was still hung up on Gray. But I didn't want her to be Gray's. He left her and yet she moans around for him. We entered her house and into her room. I knew exactly what I had in store for her.

[LUCY'S P.O.V]

We got into my house and I sat on the bed. What did he want to show me? Was he going to confess? Because I already know this. He said something I couldn't make out, and the next thing I knew I was being pinned down by my arms and my back against the bed. I didn't dare move. Natsu was so strong, I couldn't. He leaned down closer, and closer until our lips met. His kiss was filled with warmth. But I didn't kiss back. Because of this, Natsu leaned down closer to my neck. His hot breath tickling my neck. In all my pain, in all my frustration over losing Gray, I couldn't help but let him. I just laid there.

I moaned softly at his actions. I was on the verge of tears. Natsu knew I wasn't in love with him. But I think he thought this would make me fall in love with him. But I didn't stop him. I wanted this. No, I needed this. I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him in closer. He kissed my collar bone, making me growl harder. I would be lying if I said this didn't feel good.

I lifted his shirt off, and over his head. I reached for his pants but he chuckled. I looked up at him and saw his never-before-seen smirk.

"Whoa there. Calm down." He said. His voice was husky. Making my stomach churn. I rolled my eyes at whatever he said next and impatiently kicked off his pants. I pulled down my skirt and let him do his work. The guilt clawed at me but I needed relief. I needed to let my feelings out. This was the only way.

"Lucy... You're mine." He said. I nodded hesitantly and tangled my fingers in his salmon locks. The hours were blurred as I spent them with him. I rolled over on the bed. My hips and my legs are completely sore. I heard Natsu chuckle. I looked up at him and sighed. I was satisfied, but guilty. Did I just cheat on Gray? Who knows what he was doing? Who knows who he was doing?

"Does this mean we're dating?" He said. I sat up and looked at him. Shooting him a harsh glare. I didn't want to talk to him. My heart was broken. I felt so vulnerable. I didn't dare say anything. But Natsu just took advantage of me. But I didn't care. I stood up but he pulled my waist down to sit on his lap. 

"Lucy, do you still love Gray?" He asked. I looked at him, tears in my eyes.

[NATSU'S P.O.V]

"Lucy, do you still love Gray?" I asked. She looked at me, with tears in her eyes. She leaned forward and kissed me hard. Her movements were filled with sorrow. 

"I don't know anymore." She replied. I pulled her into a hug. I couldn't feel any love. I still love her. But she doesn't love me back.

"I know you don't love me, Lucy. But I love you. Why can't you see that? We can't just be friends with benefits, okay? I want more than that!" I yelled. She flinched back and looked at me like she's seen a ghost. She stood up and slapped me hard across the face.

"You don't even know what you want! You can't go around and ask for whatever you like! I'm not your pet! I was drowning my sorrows, I didn't do it because I love you! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" She screamed. She ran into the bathroom and slammed the door. I heard sobbing and crying noises inside of the room. 

I dressed and left.

 [LUCY'S P.O.V]

I could hear Natsu leave. I don't care about him anymore. He makes me angry. He makes want to cry. I want Gray. I need Gray. Why did he leave me? Was I not good enough? It's all my fault. He wouldn't have left if I went with him. I will wait here for him to come back if I have to. I started at my reflection in the mirror. I had dark rings under my eyes, my hair was a mess, I was shirtless, but I've already put on bottoms, my eyes were red and puffy with tears and my body was sore. What had I just done? I hate myself. 

"Graaay... Please come back!" I whined quietly. If death had come to me, I'd willingly take it. I'd rather die than have to go on with life without Gray and have Natsu. I don't think I'd ever come at of this bathroom. I'll stay in my house... Forever.

Weeks later...

"Lu-chan. Please come out!" Levy said from the other side of my door. When was the last time I'd seen anyone? Three... Four weeks? I miss my friends. Or what's left of it. Levy told me that some people have actually forgot about me. She says that she'll always be my friend. But sometimes I question that.

"I can't... You know that. I won't come out until Gr-" I stopped in the middle of my sentences, not able to finish it. Levy tried to turn the knob, but it was locked. I put a special spell on it so that no one but me can open it. It's not that I hate being with people, it's that I stand by what I said.

"Lu-chan, I'm going now. Please, if you need anything, don't hesitate to ask." She said. I replied with a huff and I heard her leave. God, I miss my friends. I miss everything about Fairy Tail. I wish I hadn't fussed over Natsu and Lisanna getting together. I wish I hadn't fallen in love with Gray.

After a long, long, painful while, I heard foot steps outside my door. Three sharp knocks came from it. I turned to the door and frowned. Who was it? Was it Levy?

"Y-Yes?" I said, hopefully getting a good response.

"It's me." The voice belonged to Makarov, the guild Master. I hadn't spoken to him in a long while. I quickly stood up and walked towards the door. But I still wasn't going to open it up. Not even more the Master.

"Lucy, I understand that you want to be alone," You got that right. "but I have something to show you." I sighed and slowly opened the door, releasing the magic bonded with it. I opened it up to see the whole guild stand at my door step.

"Lucy, we love you!" They all said. I was on the verge of tears, again. I burst out sobbing as I ran into the arms of Erza. She stroked my hair and I felt her warm smile.

"Lucy, you don't have to be alone because of what happened. We're a family, and we'll help you through it." Said Gajeel. I smiled up at him and he grinned back.

Maybe I don't need Gray to be happy.

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that chapter was a bit later than expected, but enjoy!

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- Andrea ;^)