Broken Promises

Chapter 1

Just a year ago, I was a junior in high school. Just a year ago, I tried to take my own life. Just a year ago, I met the most amazing group of friends I could have asked for. That was just a year ago. Senior year starts tomorrow and I'm nervous. My sister went off to college and my mom has gotten a new job. Seems like things are really looking up for me now. I've been with Travis for awhile now. Kayla and I are really good friends. Things are great. Or at least I thought they were.

My alarm clock buzzed, I sat up, and rubbed my eyes. Today was the first day of senior year. My sister was off to college and I was off to finish high school. It seems like time flew by. It seemed like everything was moving at a super fast pace. I was going to hold on to this year, not going to let things get in the way again. I lived through hell. I wasn't going back.

I washed my face, did my makeup, brushed out my hair, and threw on black skinny jeans and a plain black v neck shirt. I pulled on my combat boots and grabbed my bag. Travis sent me a text and I lit up. I've been doing that a lot. Just the thought of him makes me bubble up and smile like a clown. He was perfect.

Hey, can I pick you up for coffee before school? We do that a lot. Get coffee, I mean. He'd come and knock on my door. Mom would open up and they would embrace each other. He would open the car door for me and plant a small kiss on my cheek. It was our daily routine.

Sure. (:

I love you, baby girl.

Love you too.

He knocked on the door and Mom answered it. They did the normal hug. He brought her roses today and brought me chocolate. I grabbed my bag off of the kitchen counter and gave Mom a tight hug. We had our differences before I tried to commit, but things have gotten better. We argue, but now I know she loves me. I tell my mom everything that happens now.

"I love you, Alice. I'll see you when you get home." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Love you, too, Momma." I grabbed Travis's hand and pulled him out of the house. I wanted coffee.

He opened the door and I looked up at him. I felt the longing I used to feel before I tried to take my life. It was that dull, awful feeling. I don't deserve him. I know I don't. I never should have had him. He should be with someone who isn't covered with scars. He should be with someone who knows good ways to channel her saddness. He gave me a soft smile, but I didn't return it.

"Are you okay?" I got in the car and he walked around. Shake it off. Do not ruin the morning.

"Oh, yeah. Everything's fine." I smiled at him and placed my hand on his thigh.

The drive was silent. He tried to make conversation, but I was off in la la land. I wanted to crawl back into my bed. I wanted to fall asleep. That dull ach grew and it started hurting. I grabbed my bag and pulled out my anti-depression pills.

"You're not okay. I haven't seen you take those in a while." He could see through me. I should have known that.

"I know and no. I'm not okay." I popped one in and grabbed my water from the cup holder.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He grabbed my hand.

"I love you, Travis, but I just don't want to bring you're day down. I'll be okay." I smiled at him.

"Promise me?"

"I pinky promise."

We went through the Starbucks drive through. I didn't order coffee. I ordered a Strawberry and Creme Frap. I started sipping on it. Travis looked at me. I smiled and looked out the window. I didn't want to hurt him. So, why was I acting like this? Why was I hurting? Why did I feel like crap today? I don't want to feel like this.