Broken Promises

Chapter 4

        When I woke up, Travis was gone. There was a note on my bedside table.

        Hey, Alicia. I stayed for a while. I thought that it would be better if you woke up and I was gone. Not saying that Im leaving you, but maybe you need some time to cool off and figure everything out. Just know I love you. I talked to you're doctor this morning, you don't have to go. But, you do have to take more medicine. Its a subsitution for not going. I'll stop by later. Love you.

        I rolled over and sat up. I don't really remember what happened. All I know is I let a lot of people down. I should have concentrated on being okay. But, maybe that was wrong? Maybe I should have told someone? I just don't want to hurt anyone anymore. We have all been through so much and I just want everything to go back to normal. But, what if this is normal? What if this is what I'm supposed to feel?

        I went down stairs to see if my mom was home. She was sitting at the table. Coffee in hand, eating a piece of toast. My stomach instantly growled. I walked over to the fridge and grabbed an apple.

        "Good morning." I tried to make conversation.

        "Why didnt you tell me you weren't eating?" I felt my stomach drop. Somehow, I knew she'd ask something along those lines. I sat down across from her.

        "I don't know, Mom. I didn't really want to worry you. I mean, I know I probably worried you when I ended up in the hospital, but I didn't want to go back to before." It was silent for a second. Just the sound of crunchy toast.

        "You're my daughter.. I failed you as a parent." My heart broke. How could I be so selfish? She wasn't failing me. I was failing her.

        "No, Mom. I'm failing you. You were worried. I was playing it off as nothing. I failed you as a daughter. Mom, Im so sorry. Please don't feel that way. I love you, Momma Bear." She wiped away a tear.

        "I love you, too, Alicia." There was a knock on the door.

        I opened the door to find Travis standing there, flowers and chocolates, and my bag of medicine.

        "You don't have to spoil me because I almost died." I said as I stepped aside.

        "I know, but I felt bad." He felt bad? I was the one who should be bringing him chocolates and flowers.

        "You shouldn't feel bad. I was the one who worried everyone to death." He nodded.

        "I just wanted to let you know I love you. Here's your medince." He handed me my prescription and hugged Mom.

        "Your not mad?" I asked as I walked over to the table.

        "Oh, yeah. I'm really mad." That was a comfort.

        In my room, I sat on the bed as he passed the room.

        "I don't know why you didn't tell someone." He refused to meet my eyes.

        "I didn't want to worry anyone. Or bother you."

        "Worry us? You almost died!" I felt myself cringe as he rose his voice. Images of my self harm accident flashed through my mind. "You know we love you. You knew we would have been there. I knew something was wrong." He looked at the ground. Tears welled up in my eyes.

       "Then why didn't you ask me?"

        "I did. All you ever say is 'I'm fine.'" He looked at me and I felt a tear slip down my face.