Broken Promises

Chapter 12

I don't know where I went right. I was at rock bottom my junior year. Now, now I'm standing on top of the world with the greatest man and my rock bottom below me. Honestly, if your reading this, you may think that this is all some sort of joke. That I was faking my whole depression. But, I wasn't. You see, regardless of how well and how happy you are, once you have depression, it doesn't go away. You will still have your bad days. You will still want to curl up and die. But, you will have your good days. You will have the days where you will wake up and smile at the love of your life and realize that everything happens for a reason.

I stared at him as he looked out over the cliff. My mind wandered to everything that has happened in these eighteen years. Life really does work out in mysterious ways. I won't lie to you. It has been a really weak battle. But, I am a soldier in my own ways. When we are born, no one tells you that you will have your problems. No one tells you that life is hard. Little do you know, I still pick myself up piece by piece. Little do you know, I love harder than anything. Little do you know, I care more about other people than I do myself. I felt my heart grow warm as he wrapped his hand around mine. I slid a little closer to him.

"I love you to death, Alice. There is not one thing on this planet I wouldn't do for you. I can't even imagine living a day without you. I don't want to imagine it. Because that would be torture." I snuggled closer to him.

"True love doesn't hurt." I whispered.

I wiped my face as I got out of the shower. I sat on the bathroom floor recalling everything that has happened. I continue to think about these things. The little things. The reason why I smile. Everything. I pulled my hair into a soft bun and slipped on my sweat pants and jacket. I looked down at my hands on the counter and stared at the ring that looked almost too big for my fragile finger. Next month, I was gonna be married. I would be starting my life over again. I was excited because I would no longer be a girl that had no purpose. I will be a wife. A mother to be. I would wake up every morning and realize I have more to life. My scars will soon be another stretch mark.

I pulled open the door to see Travis lying in my bed. He smiled as I walked out. I smiled at his smile. He was surrounded with flowers. A candle was lit next to the bed. An envelope lay on my pillow. I walked over to the bed and sat on the edge. I looked at him with a confused look. Sitting up, he reached for my hand. He held on to it as he handed me the envelope. I took it carefully in my hand.

"What is this?" Playing with the envelope, I asked.

"Just open it." So, I did. As I pulled out a letter, a key fell out.

 Dear Alice,

 Words can not explain what type of person you are. I am so proud of you. You held onto your life. Even when you were at the end of the rope. You held on and climbed back up. You are such an amazing person. You, you are the definition of a warrior. You fight for what you want. You fight for what you deserve. I am so grateful I got the chance to meet you. You have fixed my broken heart. I am a year clean because of YOU. Because I love you so much. I loved the past year and a half with you. And I am looking forward to the next fifty years with you. I am looking forward to growing old with you. I am looking forward to sleeping on the couch when your mad at me. Im looking forward to growing as a person with you. I am looking forward to our ups and our downs. I am so in love with you. Madly, crazy, head over heels in love with you. Now, there is a key inside this. My parents helped me to rent an apartment. Will you move in with me?

I looked at him. His face grew red as he watched me play with the key. He reached out and I felt his shaky fingers land on my wrist. I nodded and leaned in. He accepted my kiss and I felt the butterflies swim in my body. Cupid had shot me with a good arrow. I relaxed under his touch. He is a drug. A drug that is not bad. A drug that I am totally one hundred percent addicted to.

A week passed. We talked to Mom about the engagement. About the moving. She accepted it with tears in her eyes. Travis started working on making the apartment a home. We bought furniture slowly. The whole time I knew I was growing up. At sixteen, I had cut. At seventeen, I had tried to commit suicide. At eighteen, I am engaged.

I was sitting on my bedroom floor packing. Mom came in and sat on my bed. A tear in her eye. She started folding my clothes. I wanted to say something to her. Say that I was going to be okay. That she could come see me anytime she wanted. That soon, she would be a grandma and she would love that child as much as she had loved me. Loved my sister. But, I didn't know what to say.

"Have you invited your dad? Your sister?" She asked.

"I meant to call them, but I haven't got the chance." She nodded.

"My baby is growing up." She whispered.

"I'm still your baby."

"I know, but what about the house? I can't live here by myself. Your sister is gone. I'm by myself."

"Maybe you can move into the apartment complex." She nodded.

At nine o'clock there was a knock on the door. My sister, her boyfriend, and my dad were standing at the door. My sister was prettier than me. She had long thick auburn hair and freckles. She was small and petite. Her boyfriend looked like Nick. I smiled at him. Dad wore a black suit and a purple tie. His hair was freshly cut and his dark green eyes bore into mine. Mom must have called them for me. I stepped aside and let them in. Mom was serving the food as we took are seats.

"I don't mean to be rude, but why did you call us here, Kaila?" Dad didn't look at her.

"Alice has some important news that she wanted to share with you." She looked at me and I froze. I wish that I had Travis here with me.

"I, uh, I-Im g-getting married." The words fell out of my mouth. The table went quiet. I looked at Mom.

"When?" Looking up from her plate, my sister asked.

"May twentieth."

"Congratulations, Little Sister." I miss her calling me that. I took a bite of the fettuccine.

"Thank you." We ate in silence the rest of dinner. I tried to eat as much as I could, but I wasn't very hungry.

"I won't be living here anymore." I said as I finished my food.

"What?" Dad asked.

"Travis and I are renting an apartment. Since we're getting married and all." I hope they understand.

"You will have to send me the address so we can get together." Ashley said.

I stood outside on the driveway as Dad drove away. He barely said two words to me the entire dinner. Ashley hugged me. I miss her at home. I wish that she was around more. She would have been so proud of me.

"Take care of yourself, Alice. I love you." She kissed my cheek and got in her car. I waved them away before heading to my own car.

I drove to the one place I knew I would be alone. I drove to the graveyard. I drove to Lissie. I blinked away tears as I realized that my relationship with my family was jacked up. All I had was Mom. I didn't have Dad. I didn't have Ashley. I had Mom. I got out of my car and ran to my spot. I liked her grave because it was under a willow tree. I sat down under it and started crying.

"You would be so proud of me if you were still here. You would be so proud. I would invite you to the wedding. You'd be my brides maid. You would be standing right next to me. You would be coming to my house to drink and laugh and I miss you so much right now!" I shouted towards the sky. The emotions poured out of my body as I sat there. I listened to my own cries mixed with the wind. I brought my knees to my chest and bawled harder. "Come back to me!" My phone blew up with calls and texts, but I ignored every single one of them. I couldn't talk to anyone when I can barely talk to a dead girl.

Travis walked up and sat down next to me. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and pulled me in. I was fighting back tears until he turned his head and kissed my forehead. I couldn't hold it. The tears poured out of my weak, beaten body. I shuddered as I wiped them away. He held me until I got up and started walking back to the car.

All of the best people, hide the most tears.