Elijah POV
I don't know what had come over me. I remember feeling her all soft and warm pressed so innocently against me and thinking that my arms were where she belonged. I remember getting so horny as I thought about our night. I hadn't planned on having sex, but then she turned around and gave me that pretty little smile of hers and all I could think about was how perfect and beautiful she was.
It had been like our game all over again.
And when she started talking about the aftermath of our night, I couldn't stop myself from touching her and giving her giving her another memory to think about.
Jaelynn was nearly a completely different person when we were in bed like that. Sure she still snapped at me when I went a little too far, but other than that I almost always had all the control. I knew she liked that shit on the low, me telling her what to do and what to say, and I also knew that she'd never admitted to that. I liked it too because there was something oddly satisfying about having control, even if it was temporarily, of a girl as strong-willed and fierce as Jaelynn. Especially when she admitted shit that she normally wouldn't out loud.
Like she loved me.
Though I was pretty sure she only said that because she didn't want me to stop and knew that I would stop if she didn't say anything. And I was fine with that because I don't even know why I asked her if she did.
I didn't love her. I couldn't love her because it wasn't something that I did with girls. I wasn't with Jaelynn to fall in love with her, I was with her because I was selfish and didn't want her to be with anyone else but me. No other nigga was real enough to touch on her like I did, to kiss her like I did, to talk to her like I did.
But then I thought about how I felt when she said that she did love me. I had felt all happy and calm, the way some really good chow made you feel. And I remember the look she had in her eyes when she said it, like she actually meant what she was saying, that she could really love me.
And I didn't know why she would want to love me because, to be honest, I was an asshole who would only end up hurting her in the end. I'd do something really stupid and pointless like fuck some whore because I had no control over myself and I would lose her. She'd leave me to be with some good dude, a doctor maybe because she liked expensive things, who actually deserved her, but wouldn't be able to handle her because she was wild and crazy and only a real nigga could chill her out.
And then we'd both be fucked and probably missing each other, but we would know we couldn't be with each other because we were too alike and that we couldn't really ever work. Just like she said back in June.
And though I had all this shit figured out, I still wouldn't leave her or let her leave me yet because, like stated before, I was selfish and I wanted her to be mine. I didn't know if that feeling was just for the summer or for our last year in school or for years.
I thought about what it would feel like if she wasn't pressed against me, with her head tucked against my chest and her little hand softly gripping my hair, whenever I woke up in the morning. Or what it would be like to go a day without tasting her. And I just couldn't because sometime in the month that we'd been dating she'd become an everyday thing for me.
I sigh as I take in how fucking gorgeous she was when she was sleeping. I must've woken up with Jaelynn in my bed a dozen times already and each time it was like the first time. And I know this sounded cheesy, but I could never get sick of looking at her while she slept. Or period.
My phone rings suddenly and I quickly grab it before the noise woke her. I look at the time to see that it was nearly twelve thirty and that I was supposed to go get my daughter thirty minutes ago. "Fuck," I mumble before answering my baby moms call.
