My life motto was now this, 'Niggas ain't shit, and they always will be.' I knew that before I started talking to Elijah but now I go by that saying like breathing.
They all only want one thing and one thing only. And after making a vow of celibacy I, in a drunken slur, broke that vow and was ditched the next day. Getting dropped wasn't the thing that hurt, it was the fact that I was sure we had something and he still used me.
And I knew that sounded dumb and desperate because I told him myself at his party that I didn't want to be with him, but a part of me still hoped he would still try to get with me. A part of me was disappointed when he didn't call me or text or dm or whatever form of communication that we had in this century. A part of me was disappointed when he made another girl his women crush because I was almost always it.
No matter how confident and bold I was, there was this part of me that was an insecure little girl who wanted the attention of the cutest boy around. I was human after all.
"I'm seriously considering being a lesbian," I say while Ranae finishes up flat ironing my hair.
"Why?" She asks.
"Because niggas these days are a bunch of hoes and I'm sick of being their toy. At least I know a girl will treat me right."
I see her shake her head in the mirror, her freshly curled bundles bouncing. "I feel you girl. But once you find a good one like my bae then you'll be fine." She smiles at me then combs my now soft, straight hair in place and turns the flatirons off.
I stand up from the chair. "I doubt it. I just don't think these niggas can handle a bitch like me. I'm too much for them." I said while flicking my hair over my shoulder.
The dark skinned girl laughed. "You're too much for anyone." She says slipping on her white spaghetti strap sundress and white wedges, matching her red lipstick and blue flower hair clip.
"Sure," I sarcastically replied. With my hair now straightened and light makeup on, just dark red lipstick, eyeliner, and mascara, I put on my white crochet thin strapped crop top, white high waisted jeans and my pair of Gucci wedge sneakers. Along with a pair of gold hoop earrings and my gold necklace that says 'Jae' in small cursive letters.
My door opens while my best friend and I pose in the mirror for selfies. "You girls look gorgeous." My mom's voices ring out.
I turn to her with a smile. "I know."
She chuckles. "We'll be ready to go soon." My mom says. My car decided to be dumb a couple days ago so it was currently in the shop.
We both nod. "Mommy," I say and she raises a thin eyebrow knowing I'm about to ask for something. "Is it okay if I go over Riverside after the barbeque?"
"That sounds okay to me, but why?"
I quickly come up with a lie. "Kelly's having a party, nothing serious. Well probably just light firecrackers and I might spend the night, haven't really thought about it yet."
She nods. "Like I said, Lynn, I'm okay with that, it's your father you have to worry about." She leaves the room and shuts the door behind her, shouting that we better be ready in the next five minutes or we're getting left.
Right, my father, who has to be the more protective of me than his other four children. Mostly because I I'm his only daughter and the other reason being I'm sexy as fuck and he knows that wherever I go, I'm going to get looks from men, both young and old, which is not exactly what a father wants. But it's inevitable with a body and face like mine.
So he tries and sometimes fails, to keep me far away from the male population and as covered up as possible, but that never happened because there was no way in hell I was ever going to wear a turtleneck with boy jeans when it was a hundred degrees out. My dad was just like every other one, he didn't want his little girl to be the object of one of the boys that nowadays think McDonald's is a date choice. My dad never lets me go anywhere unless he knows the exact location, who's there, what time its over and what it is, and I knew he'd never let me go to Riverside today unless I played my cards excellently.
