Musical Oneshots

Treebros - Left Behind Pt. 2

TW: Self-Harm and suicide

Halfway through this I realized that I should've given you guys some fluff, but I've seen other people do that today so have some angst.

This is heavy and descriptive, be careful, if you're triggered by suicide or self-harm or anything related to that I would not read this.

Maybe watch the video above for clues as to what might happen. Plus its really good.

Evan's POV

"I have to go to work, will you be okay alone?" Mom gently asked me from the doorway. I stayed silent.

"Evan?" She questioned. I looked down at my arm, the long sleeve slightly riding up.

"Evan." She said, her voice loud and firm. I snapped my head up and stared into her eyes.

"I'll be fine." I mumbled before looking back down at my wrist. Out of the corner of my eye I could see her face soften and she crept over to me.

"I know you miss him honey. We all do. But I know that he would have wanted you to move on." Mom whispered as she wrapped her arms around me in a hug. I stiffened.

Connor had been the light of my world. When I was broken on the ground, he had found me.

But now he was gone.

And once again, I was all alone.

Left behind.

She pressed a gentle kiss to my forehead and pulled away. I looked down at my blanket, fiddling with a stray seem. I could see her pause, conflicted, before leaving my room. A few moments later I heard the front door slam shut.

I stayed there for a few minutes before the silence got to me. It was just so heavy. So final. So lonely. I decided to fill it with the scratching of my pencil on paper.

As I focused on the words, I caught glimpses of the scars on my wrist.

Soon Evan. Soon, I reminded myself.

Along with every scar, there was a story.

For every anniversary of ours I slashed my skin. For every time I missed his warm arms wrapped around me or his lips pressed to mine. For every time I remembered him hanging in his room and being buried right in front me.

Over the year that had passed since Connor killed himself, I had written hundreds of letters and emails. Some to him or me or anyone who cared. They held my best days and my worst. All of my thoughts and worries and hopes and dreams.

I finished up the last letter and left it on my desk. I gently pushed back my chair and stood up. My footsteps sounded like loud thuds throughout the empty house as I walked to the bathroom. I placed my phone down on the counter.

Glancing in the mirror, I saw the shell I had become. My hair was long and messy. My eyes were dull and red from all of the crying. My face was shiny with tear tracks. I wiped them with my sleeve. After Connor had left me here all alone I had no reason left to live.

I had tried to keep going though. That was something I was proud of. I had finished the school year, gotten a job, and applied to colleges. But as the months wore on, it became harder to act happy and throw on my fake smile. Eventually, I had quit my job. Almost all of the colleges had accepted me, with full or partial scholarships, but I never enrolled.

How could I keep living when he was dead?

I shook the thoughts out of my head and rummaged under the sink. I found several orange bottles of pills, razors, and safety pins. I pulled all of them out and set them down on the counter next to my phone.

It would all go down like this.

First, I would hurt myself. I needed, no, deserved the pain. Razors, safety pins, I would use whatever I could find.

I knew that the person who would find me would be Mom. I couldn't let her find me like I found Connor. It was too traumatic.

I would kill myself by overdosing on pills.

Feel something first, then numb it all.

I rolled up my sleeves and stared at my scarred arms. There were only flashes of unmarked, pale skin. I had done a lot of damage over the course of a year.

Did I happen to mention it was the one year after I found Connor?

I had waited long enough. I needed to be with him.

I hissed as I made the first slash, painful and deep. I got used to the pain as I kept cutting so I dropped it. The razor fell to the floor with a clatter. I left it there and picked up the safety pins.

I threaded them through my skin. Every time I punctured my arm I winced. Blood had started dripping onto the floor. A big, crimson mess against the white tiles.

I'm sorry I'm such a mess Mom, I thought as I kept bleeding out.

I don't know how long I had been hurting myself but by now I was starting to see spots dance across my vision. I became dizzy and leaned against the counter. My hand knocked against one of the bright orange pill bottles.

The pills.

My ticket out of here.

I hungrily grabbed them and tried popping off the cap.

I couldn't.

I tried opening it the way the bottle told me to, biting it, and prying off the lid with my fingers.

"Stupid child proof caps. Am I right?" A voice said in my ear. I stopped. The words sent chills down my spine.

"W-W-Who's t-there?" I managed to stammer out.

"Ev?" Another voice asked from behind me. I spun around.

The pill bottle clattered to the floor, the lid popping off and sending pills everywhere.

"C-Connor!" I wailed. He stood in front of me, dressed in the clothes I found him in. I could see the scars still on his arms, some of them looking like they were bleeding. There was a line around his neck, a mark left behind from the noose.

"Evan please don't do it. Don't be stupid like us." He told me, his eyes sparkling with worry.

"U-Us?" I questioned. Next to him, one of my old best friends, Heather M appeared

"Connor's right. I would give anything to come back." She sighed, her own eyes sparkling with tears.

They each placed a hand on my shoulder, trying to stop my arms from reaching out the next pill bottle. I felt the fire inside me that had long ago sputtered out roar back to life.

"N-No! You d-don't get to leave m-me and then t-tell m-me not to do t-the same thing! Y-You b-both left me alone!" I yelled. The two of them looked ashamed and pulled their hands back. I snatched up the bottle and popped off the cap.

"Evvy please." Connor begged as I stared at the chalky white pills.

"I l-l-love you C-Connor. I love you too H-Heather. You w-were like my sister. I'll s-s-see you on the o-other side." I told them. With tears prickling my eyes I downed the whole bottle. And then another. And another. I kept going until there were no bottles left.

A wave of dizziness swept over me and my knees buckled. I dropped to the floor and curled up. I felt everything numbing and a smile grew across my face.

I would finally be free.

A few tears slid down my cheeks as I waited. I felt no regret. I felt nothing. I could see the ghost of my friend and lover slowly disappear as the world went black.

I would no longer be left behind.