Musical Oneshots

Kleinsen - Starring Role

BabzbBbabanbNjwjq I HAVEN'T WRITTEN IN SO LOOOONG

TW: Some depressing thoughts and hints at smutty things. No actual smut happens though.

Evan's POV

You're hard to hug, tough to talk to
And I never fall asleep, when you're in my bed
All you give me is a heartbeat

Jared was not the emotional type.

He hated any and all kinds of PDA. Holding hands, hugging, kissing, whatever. Don't even think about it.

Not to mention how hard he was to talk to. You could try to hold a serious conversation with him, but it never lasted. It always turned back to him. Or some video game, or joke, or new rumor. Maybe it was just a defense mechanism? Maybe he just didn't want to talk about all of that emotional stuff?

But right now, he was laying in my bed with me, snoring away.

I wish I could sleep that easily. My mind was usually a mess, but with Jared around, it somehow got worse. Buzzing and spewing a million different thoughts and ideas out.

I've turned into a statue
And it makes me feel depressed

Was I in love with Jared?

Probably.

I knew he would never feel the same for me, though. Sure, the way he interacted with me was the same he interacted with everyone.

But that doesn't mean I was immune to how it made me feel.

Cause the only time you open up is when we get undressed

I felt my cheeks blaze up again when I looked at the piles of our clothes on my bedroom floor.

No matter how many times it happened, I was never not embarrassed.

How could I not be when that just happened.

You don't love me
Big fucking deal
I'll never tell you how I feel
You don't love me
Not a big deal
I'll never tell you how I feel

The small pangs of happiness and giddiness I had gotten vanished.

He will never love me.

Would I tell Jared though? Tell him I wanted to be more than whatever we were? That I didn't want to be occasional fuck buddies and then part time friends? That I wanted to be his and him to be mine?

Hell no.

It almost feels like a joke
To play out the part
When you are not the starring role
In someone else's heart
You know I'd rather walk alone
Than play a supporting role
If I can't get the starring role

When I really thought about my situation, I wanted to laugh. To giggle and chuckle until it descended into a sobbing fit. Was this supposed to be some cruel joke?

I knew I wasn't the only one Jared did this with.

I had heard the rumors and seen the proof. If he lost me, it wouldn't matter. He would find someone to replace me. I wasn't special.

If I disappeared, would he even care?

Sometimes I ignore you
So I feel in control
Cause really, I adore you, and I can't leave you alone

"Hey, Acorn!" Jared yelled across the crowded school hallway. It should have been impossible how I curled into myself even more. I walked faster, keeping my head ducked low, and walked out of the front doors. I weaved through bundles of hormonal teens, and leaned against a tree to catch my breath.