Billy Carter

Chapter 27: Hey Jude

Mum and I stayed at Harry's house that night. I was paranoid that Dad was going to break in - the police had gone to arrest him earlier, but couldn't find him anywhere. I was terrified he was after me; the only reason I could sleep was that Mum and I were sharing the sofa bed, and she held me so close and so tightly. I felt safe with her.
The next day we moved into Eddie's house. Not his house his house - his house in London. He was still in LA, at his main home, but he told mum the security codes and where to find the spare key so we could come and go as we pleased.
Eddie's house - well, mansion - was huge. He had ten bedrooms, fourteen bathrooms, and five separate living areas - and I discovered a home recording studio in the basement, which was my favourite part of the whole building, and I spent a lot of time down there working on songs and playing around with recordings the way Harry had taught me. Mum's favourite part was the spa bath in her ensuite.
We'd been able to go back home with police to get our belongings - only personal stuff though. We left the TV and everything, but mum took her jewelry and clothes and all her books and toiletries.  She grabbed her photo-albums, and she left her wedding ring on the bedside table, wiping angry tears off her cheeks the whole time. I took pretty much everything in my bedroom, besides the furniture. It was all my stuff anyroad. I took all my records and my DVDs and everything else that was mine. We picked up Blue Jean and all of her toys and bowls and food. The police helped us put her kennel in the back of the moving van we'd rented - Eddie had said we had free range of everything in his house, including his car collection, but they weren't exactly designed with moving out in mind.
That was also the day the police arrested Dad - he handed himself in at the police station.

#

I was talking to Ollie on the phone when Mum knocked on my bedroom door. It was six o'clock, and it had been about a week since everything finally came to an end with Dad. I was still bittersweet about it. I was relieved to be out and free of the abuse, but I missed the "good" version of Dad. There was no way he was going to come back now. Even if Dad did become the good man he once was, I knew that Mum wouldn't let him anywhere near me. But could I even look at him same? After everything he'd done? It was almost like he was two different people in my mind, like Jekyll and Hyde.
"Honey? Haris' here. Can you come downstairs please, we want to talk you about something," Mum said, sounding nervous.
"Um, sure. I'll be down in a second," I told her. She smiled grimly at me and closed the door again. "Hang on, I've got to go. Mum wants to talk about something," I told Ollie. "I'll ring you back afterwards."
"Sure. We're about to have dinner anyway."
"Alright, talk to you soon. I love you."
"I love you too."
I was in a really weird place with Oliver and Annabelle. She and I hadn't formally broken up yet, and neither had Ollie and I formally gotten back together. I wasn't sure what was going on. She'd seen Ollie and I kiss at the hospital, but none of us had brought it up since. I was confused because I wanted to get back together with Oliver, but honestly, I didn't really want to break up with Annabelle. I felt terrible about leading her on again, but I doubted either of them would be interested in 'sharing'. I knew I'd pick Oliver over Annabelle, but selfishly I wished I didn't have to... Polygamy's become more popular after all.
We hung up and I went downstairs to meet Mum and Harry in the kitchen, cooking dinner. They were making pizza, my favourite.
"You're Greek, remember? Not Italian," I teased Harry, as he rolled out the dough Mum and I'd prepared in the morning. Mum was chopping up capsicum and mushroom, and she gave me a smile.
"Sit down, honey. We have something to tell you."
"Uh oh. Are my grades slipping again? I've been studying twice as much with Ollie," I said, taking a seat at the breakfast bar.
"Baby what you two do together doesn't count as study," Mum told me, and Harry snorted with laughter. They both stopped what they were doing to come stand across from me. "Listen I know a lot has been going on recently, but there's something else you should know," Mum said, glancing at Harry. "I mean you've probably worked it out already, but for the sake of transparency... Haris and I, well, we're dating, sweetie."
"Wait what?" I asked in surprise. That was the last thing I'd been expecting. "But you and Dad aren't even divorced yet! It's been literally one week!"
"I know, and that's the part we aren't exactly proud of," Mum told me. "Although I'm inclined not to care considering the things he was doing. Honey, Harry and I haven't been dating for one week... We've been seeing each other for quite a few months now." Harry rubbed her back and they both looked apologetically at me while I stared back at them in horror. I mean Dad had told me they were having an affair, but I hadn't really believed him - I figured he was being paranoid.
"I- no," I cut myself off, and I stopped to think about how to say what I was thinking without swearing too much. "Uh, I really am struggling with this," I said, annoyance slipping into my voice. "Not because I don't like you, Harry, or because I don't think you'd make a good couple - I mean he's definitely an improvement on the last one," I said. "It's just really really disappointing to me that you fucking cheated on my father!" I yelled the last few words, losing my cool. "I don't care what you think of him now, that's still a really shitty thing to do!"
"Hear us out, let us explain it a little bit," Mum told me.
"Sure! Go ahead!"
"Well, as you know we've always been close friends. I've had feelings for Harry for a long time, but I never acted on them on account of you and Steven, and the fact that I didn't know he actually fancied me as well," Mum told me. "And when things developed... It wasn't something we planned, Billy. I haven't been in love with Steven for a long time. I was trying to keep the marriage together for your sake, because I thought you loved him and looked up to him so much - of course, had I known then what I know now-"
"Mum, I do love him!" I revealed. "Even after everything, he's my father! There were moments, believe it or not, when he was my favourite person on the Earth. Just because everyone tells me I should hate his guts doesn't mean that I do! I mean, yeah, sometimes I do hate him and I wish I could kill him, but sometimes despite of all he's done I miss him, and sometimes I wish I could make everything go back to how it was when he was sober. Look, you could have told him the truth. You could have divorced him. You could have not cheated! I thought you were better than that, Mum! You know I've always looked up to you because no matter what happened to you or what you went through you always came out better and stronger and you didn't let it make you a bad person!"
"Billy, please, I know we shouldn't have let things happen the way they did-"
"Your mother isn't a bad person, she just made a mistake," Harry told me, squeezing Mum's hand.
"You know I said the exact same thing about Dad and she sent me to my room!" I told Harry.
"Child abuse and sexual assault are entirely different to adultery, William," Harry said angrily, looking at me sternly. "Don't you dare compare your mother to him."
"I'm not trying to compare them, I'm just saying that what you two did to Dad wasn't fair and it wasn't honest! You could have just told him the truth!"
"I did, sweetheart," Mum told me. "I told him a couple of weeks ago."
"Ok, but that still means you've been seeing Harry behind Dad's back for months!"
"I know it was wrong but I can't do anything about it now!" Mum told me.
"Now you just sound like Eddie," I snapped, starting to tear up. "Do I have a single parent who I can count on?"
I didn't wait for her to answer, and I stormed out. I was hurt because she'd lied about something so big - I was sick of lies. Dad had lied to me again and again, Eddie still beat around the bush whenever I asked him any kind of remotely uncomfortable question, and now Mum was lying to me too? I know that's a bit hypocritical coming from someone who's been lying about and hiding their sexuality, boyfriend, and abuse from just about everyone, but I was trying to turn over a new leaf. And I'd only lied about those things because I was scared of what Dad would do, or what would happen to me.
I knew I'd been harsh on Mum too, and even Harry to some extent. It was an entirely different ballpark to Dad, and even Eddie. I trust Mum and I love her, and I could even understand why she'd be tempted - if I was married to Dad I'd probably want to cheat too. But Mum had always been my role model. She's the strongest person I've ever know, larger than life and a total super hero. She could never do any wrong, she was perfect.
And now I was forced to realise that even she had flaws. I mean obviously she has flaws, she had me at eighteen thanks to a one-night stand with a guy twelve years her senior who she'd only known in person for a week.
But still - was nothing sacred anymore?
And I didn't like that Harry seemed to know the intimate details of my abuse at Dad's hands. The sexual assault was an especially sensitive topic; I struggled to let people touch me (even innocently) thanks to those experiences and the flashbacks that made me feel like I was reliving it all over again.