Billy Carter

Chapter 33: School's Out

I think all of Year 12 was at Annabelle's place that Friday, the last day of school for the year. Her house had more or less become the go-to venue for any celebration. I was extra happy because she'd enlisted us to perform, and she paid us eight-hundred quid. I was tipsy when we started our set, and starting to sober up by the time we finished. I quickly remedied the situation. Jimmy made an appearance, but I only saw him briefly before Cynthia appeared and he took off to avoid her. I tracked him down though, and finally got the chance to say hi.
"Hey Jim." I caught up to him as he opened a beer. "How's everyone? How's your acting thing going?"
"Fine. The new season premiers next Friday, actually."
"So you mean in a week I'll be able to see you on television?"
"Yeah, I guess."
"Are you any good?"
"I hope so. I mean I don't want to be bad."
"I guess. Any fighting scenes or stunts or anything?"
"You've never seen Wood's End, have you?"
"No. The girls like it."
"Well there's no fighting or stunt scenes. There's um, a few sex scenes though."
"You in any of them?"
"Almost all of them, actually."
"That's hysterical, I can't wait!" I laughed.
"Yeah, I don't think there are that many scenes where I'm actually fully clothed. The costume department seems to like my shirt off."
"Well don't take this the wrong way, because I have a boyfriend and me and you are just friends, but you're pretty fit," I confessed, and Jimmy laughed.
"Well the shirtless scenes are the reason I thought I'd better buff up a bit. They set me up with this personal trainer and I was going to the gym for six hours everyday, it was mental. Someone planned my diet for me and I had to eat all this spinach and beans and stuff. Lots of chicken, and fish."
"Sounds like Oliver's wet dream. Lots of meal prepping then, I assume?"
"Not really more than usual. I usually do a big cook up on Sunday anyway. I make spaghetti and lasagna - all stuff I can portion up and freeze for the kids so if I have a night shoot Ashley could just heat it all up and they have a decent dinner."
"Are you still shooting?"
"We're taking a break, but we'll get back to it in a few months or so. Depending on the audience and ratings and all that, they're either gonna ask me to renew my contract for another season or two, or kill me off. This upcoming season ends on a bit of a cliff-hanger, so it can go either way. It depends on the reception we get, I suppose."
"Do you want to stay on?"
"Yeah, actually. It's a lot more work than I originally thought it would be, this acting thing. But the pay's good, and I need as much money as I can get right now."
"But you don't seem to love it."
"Sometimes it's fun, sometimes it's a huge pretentious pain in the arse. Depends on the day."
"So, how long before you need to sneak away back to the babies?" I asked him.
"Ashley's babysitting, which means she's probably snuck out by now and on her way to some party- oh." He looked away through the crowd and laughed. I followed his line of sight and sure enough, here was Ashley, Jimmy's younger sister, grinding on Ollie's friend Paul who looked like he'd died and gone to Heaven. "Stupid girl," Jimmy chuckled. "Come have some fun with me, Bill."
"Sure."
I followed Jimmy through the crowd and we crept up on his sister. She was still dancing with Paul, her back to us so she didn't see us coming. Jimmy leaned over to her ear to be heard over the music. "If you're going to lie to me and sneak out to go to a party, make sure it's a different party to the one I'm going to," he told her, and I saw her jump three feet and spin around to face us, looking guilty as Hell. "Who's babysitting?"
"Um... Belle," Ashley said glibly.
"Ashley, she's ten!" Jimmy exclaimed.
"So? You looked after us just fine when you were ten - younger, even!"
"It's not her responsibility to look after them, I gave that responsibility to you."
"Well you're not my father, so I don't have to do anything you say!" she snapped. "And they aren't my kids, they aren't my responsibility!"
"They aren't mine either Ash, but they're our little brothers and sisters and they can't look after themselves. Are you drunk?"
"I hate them and I hate Belle! I hate her!" Ashley yelled over the music, ignoring Jimmy's question. "She ruined everything, it's her fault that dad left us!" Ashley yelled angrily. Jimmy's expression hardened.
"You don't hate them, and it's not Belle's fault that dad left, ok? He made that decision all by himself."
"Why do you always defend her? Don't you hate her too? You knew Dad better than I did!"
"Exactly, and trust me when I say he's not worth missing, Ashley."
"At least he was stable!"
"Ashley, enough. I'm taking you home, alright?"
"No! I want to dance! I want another drink!"
"You need to go home, Ash."
"Fuck you, I do what I want!"
Jimmy sighed, looking and sounding irritated. I shrugged and caught his attention. "She's already here, and you just got here. Why don't you hang out for a little bit longer? At this rate she'll be passed out by ten."
"She shouldn't be drinking."
"What, like you didn't do worse underage?"
"It's not like that, she's got a problem with alcohol, Billy."
That caught me off guard. "Oh."
"Help me wrangle her? She's got a crush on you, she might listen."
"Oh. Ok then."
"Come on, let's get to her before she finds any shots- oh."
"Oh?"
"She found your boyfriend."
"She- huh?"
"Come on."
I followed Jimmy again through the crowd and happened upon Oliver and Ashley. He was holding her at arms length, leaning away while she tried to flirt and kiss him. Everyone around who knew Oliver and knew he was gay were laughing hysterically. I understood the humour, but I also know all too well what it's like to be forced to do something sexual against your will. I stepped forward and separated the two, pushing Ashley back towards Jimmy, who grabbed her arm, and putting my own arm around Ollie's shoulders.
"Thank you," Ollie told me, frowning warily at Ashley. "She just came up and started kissing me."
"Are you ok?" I asked him. He nodded, still watching Ashley. "It wasn't right of her to do that, I'm sorry."
"It's fine, I guess I wasn't hurt or anything."
"It's ok if it bothers you, an unwanted advance is still an unwanted advance."
"Thanks, Billy. I'll be ok though."
"Are you sure?"
"I promise."
"Good. We don't need two damaged people in this relationship."
"You aren't-"
"Just laugh at my joke and move on, alright?"
"Alright. Ha, ha."
We turned to Jimmy and Ashley, who were fighting with each other again. Cynthia joined in, trying to soothe both of them, but I knew it was a bad idea. Sure enough, Ashley turned on Cynthia and got nasty.
"What the fuck would you know, you perfect little princess?" Ashley snapped at Cyn. "You have no idea what it's like to be us! He isn't my father and you certainty aren't my step-mother! So why don't you just fuck off!"
"I'm sorry Ashley, I'm just trying to help," Cynthia calmly replied. "I'm not trying to boss you around or anything, I just think Jimmy has a bit more experience and maybe you should listen to him and hear what he has to say."
"Oh, of course she's on your side!" Ashley rolled her eyes at Jimmy.
"You won't even hear me out, Ashley! I'm just trying to look after you! Nobody else is!" Jimmy snapped. Ashley stopped as she was about to retort and I saw the shift in her attitude. He'd hit a sore spot, and she looked like she was about to burst into tears.
"Oh yeah? Well you're one to talk! At least our parents like me! At least dad wants me back! Nobody cares about you!" she yelled at him, and tried to storm past. Jimmy grabbed her again and held on tight.
"I'll see you later, we need to go home. I'm sorry I can't stay longer," Jimmy told me.
"I get it."
"See ya Oliver." He gave us a hasty wave goodbye and started hauling Ashley outside.
"You can't tell me what to do, you aren't my father!" Ashley carried on.
"I'm your legal guardian, so actually I can tell you what to do," he told her. As they disappeared their argument faded out of earshot, and I saw Cynthia looking downcast.
"He likes you, you know," I told her, putting my arm around her shoulder. Cyn leaned into me and wound her arm around my waist. I had her and Ollie on either side of me now.
"I don't know about that. He says I'm too young for him. He probably wants someone more mature."
"I think it's more because he doesn't want to hold you back."
"I think he wants someone who's more experienced in the bedroom," Cyn said sadly.
"You two haven't-"
"We've not done anything. We only kissed once; I initiated it and he put a stop to it."
"Well I don't think that's the reason he's not open to a relationship with you. He's got a lot of adult responsibilities and it wouldn't be fair to you to drag you into all that too. You're only sixteen. Barely sixteen. And he's twenty or something. It's kinda gross, and he's not like that."
"He's a great guy, I really like him Billy."
"I know. But you should start looking elsewhere for romance. Once Jimmy's got his mind set, there's no changing it."
"I think Billy's right," Ollie told Cyn.
"But if your feeling self conscious about you lack of expertise regarding sex, I'm always there for advice," I told her, trying to lighten the mood. It worked. Cyn gave me a small smile.
"I could give your boyfriend advice too," I added. "After all I'm experienced in both areas. Now."
"I know, Mr. Bisexual."
"Very experienced," Ollie told Cyn with a wink. She giggled and I hugged them both tighter.
"I love you guys."
"How much have you drunk again?"
"Shut up, I'm just feeling sentimental. You're my besties. And Tony and Trent."
"Aw, you're my bestie too," Cynthia told me, giving me a kiss on the cheek.
"Aw."
"Aw."
"Aw."
"Aw-"
"I need another drink to put up with you two," Ollie interrupted.
"To the bar!"
We squeezed through the crowd together until we reached the kitchen. Cynthia found us all a lager each and we moved outside, where it wasn't so cramped.
"Hey!" Ollie smacked my chest and pointed with his bottle across the garden. Trent and Natalie were snogging on a bench under a tree in the dark.
"I called it!" I shouted gleefully. "Now we can go on triple dates!"
"You have to come out first," Cyn pointed out.
"Spoil sport," I muttered, taking another drink.
"What are your plans for the Summer holidays?" Cynthia asked Ollie.
"I don't know. Prepare for next year. Gym. Just the usual." Ollie shrugged. "What about you?"
"Well, did Billy tell you about how we're making a record?"
"Yeah, he did. Johnny's producing, right?"
"Right," I confirmed. "It'll take a few months, I expect we'll still be working on it once school starts again. Hopefully we'll have most of it done by then, though."
"Where are you going to sell your album?"
"Gigs. Anywhere that'll let us," Cyn told him. "We're not expecting anything to come of it, but it'll be a great learning experience and we might make a few extra quid."
"Well, no pressure, but if my Uni thing falls through my back-up plan is to be Bill's trophy husband, so I'm kind of relying on you guys to make it big."
"No pressure though," I laughed, and he smiled back. "But you can't be a trophy husband, that's my back-up plan too!"
"Well as long as one of us succeeds we'll be fine."
"True."
"Aw, you two talking about marriage! That's so sweet!"
"Oh, well, I mean-"
"It might be a bit early to start worrying about that," Ollie said, saving me from my fumbling. "Maybe we'll revisit that topic when we're twenty-five or something."
"Good idea," I agreed. "I don't want to rush into anything, like Mum and Dad."
Cyn and Ollie both pulled a face and gave me a big bear-hug together.
"Jesus Christ, I can talk about him without getting all emotional, you know," I told them both, rolling my eyes. "I'm not as fragile as you all seem to think."
"Billy!" Tony shouted my name and I flinched hard.
"You were saying?" Ollie asked me. I shot him an irritated look and turned to Tony as he approached us.
"Perfect timing, Tones," I greeted him (a little sarcastically).
"Of course. I have a question for you."
"Yes?"
"What level of secrecy do you require with this issue regarding your step-father?" he asked. The hairs on the back of my neck stood on end.
"Why?" I asked slowly.
"Because Annabelle knows."
"Well... yeah? She was kinda there for the grand finale."
"Annabelle can't keep secrets."
"Well she promised."
"She promised to keep your sexuality a secret too, didn't she?"
"Well, yeah-"
"And she didn't."
"But this time she will."
"What makes you think that?"
"Well, she knows it's a serious issue."
"Is that why she's currently discussing it with your great friend Kenny Leary as we speak?"
"Wait, what?!" I exclaimed. Tony nodded sagely.
"I passed them to get a glass of soft drink and overheard them talking about you."
"Well, maybe you misheard? What exactly did they say?"
"They were talking about you getting beat up by your step-father, I heard Annabelle say 'I never would have guessed Steven was hurting Billy'." Tony told me. "She said 'he seemed like such a nice guy', she said she 'actually thought he was kind of cute and Nelly scored a good one'."
I thought I was gonna be sick. My heart was pounding and I was breathing too short and shallow.
"No, you must have misheard, she wouldn't tell anyone, she certainly wouldn't tell him!" I exclaimed, and Ollie squeezed my hand.
"I'm sorry, Billy, I'm so sorry, but I had to let you know."
"But if he knows then it won't be long before everyone does! Kenny's gonna have a field day with this!"
"I know, but I've got your back and-"
I tuned out of what Tony was saying and stared over Tony's shoulder through the open French doors into the kitchen. I could see Annabelle and Kenny sitting on the kitchen counter together, sipping drinks and speaking intently. Annabelle looked up and caught my gaze, and I saw her face pale as she saw Tony talking to me. I pushed past Tony and stormed up to the house. Annabelle pat Kenny's thigh to grab his attention and he turned slightly to see me too. I marched right up to them, glaring at them both before settling on Annabelle.
"I think you left your knife in my back, Annabelle," I said.
"No, I wasn't-"
"I already knew," Kenny interrupted. "Dad's a lawyer, remember? A defense lawyer, to be specific. He usually only deals with big companies, but everyone else is busy or on holiday, so he was appointed to defend your father. Sorry, step-father."
"What are you talking about? I told my parents I didn't want to press charges or anything!" I exclaimed, and he laughed.
"Billy, it doesn't matter if you want to press charges or not, he still broke the law," Kenny told me. "What he did is a crime, just like stealing and murder. You don't get a say in the matter. It's up to the state, and the state has chosen to prosecute him. If you wanted to press charges, that would be a separate case all together, a civil suit. You could sue Steve, if you want, for medical fees and psychological damage. If you don't want money you could get a restraining order, if you're scared he'll come after you. Most people - who press charges - get a restraining order. Your mum will probably ask to have their lease on your house broken. I think she wants to sue your father for all the money trouble. That'd get you set up in a new house or apartment or something, but it doesn't look like Steven has much money, so I don't know if that would be worth the legal fees."
"So I don't get a say in any of this?"
"Not really. Well, you'll probably be required to come in and testify. The judge will take what you have to say into consideration when deciding on what to do with Steven. You could recant your original statement, lots of people do that in these cases, but you might get fined or charged for it, and the state would probably still prosecute - he stabbed some other guy, and he and Annabelle both made a statement. So did your mother, but hers doesn't have much to go on, just that you were always bruised. In my personal opinion, he's not getting off without some kind of penalty. The judge might release him, he might fine him, he might put him on probation or give him a prison sentence. He'll likely have it put on his criminal record, and he probably won't be allowed to see you for a while. Not unsupervised, at least. All his rights as your step-father will likely be revoked. I expect your mother will file for divorce."
"How do you know all of this?" Ollie asked Kenny, standing behind me. Kenny rolled his eyes.
"My father's a defense lawyer, weren't you listening? He was assigned to Steven Carter's case - until he remembered that you're technically his nephew, so there's a conflict of interest and legally he can't have anything to do with the case."
"Alright, but how do you know all of this? Surely it's confidential."
Kenny shrugged. "It is, but Dad's computer password is my birthday, so it wasn't hard to break into the file."
"Why'd you break into it anyway?" I asked.
"I was curious. I overheard a snippet of conversation between mum and dad, enough to know they were talking about you and Nelly, and it piqued my interest. I assumed it was a case against you, actually - I figured you must've shoplifted or something - but obviously after I read your step-father's case file I knew the truth. Honestly, I was only interested because I wanted some fresh ammunition. The other stuff was getting tired."
"So how are you going to tear me down about this one, huh?" I asked angrily. "Are you going to tell everybody? Are you going to add it to the list of everything that's wrong with me?"
"Oh please, I'm not that heartless," Kenny rolled his eyes and waved his hand dismissively. "Let's put it this way - even if I wanted to, I couldn't pick on you about that in public because I shouldn't know. My dad could lose his job. So, I propose we carry on as if this conversation never happened. Sound fair?"
"Fine," I said through grit teeth. "But I want you to leave me and my friends alone next year, alright? No more fighting and bullying."
"I'll leave you alone when you grow a pair and take responsibility for-"
"Enough, Kenny," Annabelle warned him. He rolled his eyes again and glared at me.
"Fine," he sighed.
"What's you problem with me?" I asked him. "You've been really aggressive for no fucking reason, you've been glaring at me for weeks now and I have no fucking clue what I did to piss you off so much."
He shot Annabelle a knowing look. "Yeah, maybe someone should do something about that," he said, looking directly at her. Annabelle looked down uncomfortably.
"Just stop picking fights with me, alright? It's ridiculous, I don't even remember why we started hating each other, and honestly I've got bigger things to worry about."
"Oh that is definitely true," Kenny nodded, again shooting another look at Annabelle. She just looked at him, her eyes sad and pleading. He pursed his lips unhappily then gave her hand a quick squeeze. "Sorry," he mumbled to her, before turning back to me and rolling his eyes for the third time. "Honestly," he said to me, "I don't really fancy picking on you anymore. It's gotten boring. And that sort of thing, with your step-father - it leaves a bad taste in my mouth. At least you've got Eddie, like a back-up daddy."
"He's a pain in the arse," I told him, and Kenny laughed. For a split second, while he was laughing, it struck me how similar we actually look. I'd always acknowledged we had few structural, physical things in common, but never enough to make me actually stop and wonder why. How had we never guessed we were related before? It seemed obvious now, kind of like my similarities with Eddie and Johnny.
"Well, you're not missing out on much in regards to my side of the family, in case you were wondering. Everyone's pretentious, greedy, and self-obsessed."
"So that's where you get it from," I said.
"Ha. Clever. Like your family's much better."
"Well obviously not. Do you know about Dad's brothers and parents?"
"Your step-dad? I do, actually. That was in the file as well," he told me. "Yeah, you pulled the short straw there, didn't you? At least your mum's nice."
"She's awesome."
"When did you two start getting along and speaking civilly to each other?" Cynthia asked us.
"Sh! Don't spoil it!" Annabelle hissed at her. "Two of my best friends are getting along for once!"
"How did you two even become friends?" I asked Annabelle. She smiled.
"We've been friends since we were eight or something. Our families are members of the same golf club."
"Which club?" I asked.
"Carnegie. In Scotland," Kenny said. Ollie let out a low whistle, which I presumed meant he was impressed. "It's ironic, really. I've lived just two doors down our whole lives but the first time we ever met was in Scotland while our father's both played golf." Kenny grinned at Annabelle and she smiled back, sipping her drink.
"Huh. Interesting," I said. "Well, I'm going to go away now. You just remember what you said about leaving us alone and keeping what you know to yourself, alright?"
"Aye aye, captain," he grumbled.
I gave him one more uncertain look before turning my back and heading outside. Ollie, Tony and Cynthia followed, looking just as confused as I felt. "I think that's the first civil exchange you two have ever had, passive-aggressive as it may have been," Tony told me.
"It was terrifying," Cynthia added.
"I can't believe Annabelle's friends with him," I said.
"Maybe there's more to him than meets the eye," Ollie said. "Maybe he's not as bad as he puts on."
"Really?" I asked. "After all the homophobic shit he's put you through you're gonna give him the benefit of the doubt?"
Ollie shrugged. "Actually the homophobic stuff is all his mate Sean. And we don't know Kenny's home life. Anyway he seems to have had a change of heart. At least he's not going to tell everyone about your step-father."
"I still don't trust him."
"Neither do I," Ollie said. "But I'm going to hope for the best. Maybe you'll both end up getting along, like you and Johnny."
"Maybe," I said doubtfully. "Maybe he's waiting for the opportune moment to tell everyone."
"Maybe he's being honest because he understands how serious the situation is - he certainly understands it better than you."
"What? You mean all that law jargon? He's just parroting his father, he-"
"No, I meant that he seems to be taking the matter far more seriously than you," Ollie explained.
"Everyone's taking it more seriously than me, according to everyone," I muttered unhappily. "Can't we just leave it alone tonight? You're ruining my buzz. I wish Jimmy was here, he doesn't care about it."
"He does care," Cyn told me.
"Well, yeah, everyone does. But he's not blowing it out of proportion like everyone else is and making a big deal out of it." I ignored Tony and Ollie rolling their eyes and had another mouthful of my beer. I glanced back into the kitchen where Kenny and Annabelle were still sitting and talking. "Traitor. I can't believe she invited him, all he ever does is start fights."
"Well, he's not starting any fights now, and it is a Year 12 party, not a "just us" party," Tony told me. "I'm not really surprised they're friends."
"How come?"
"Well, they're both wealthy."
"Their parents are wealthy, actually."
"Well, yes. But what I mean is they've both grown up with a lavish lifestyle, it's not something many people experience and I guess you could feel isolated from other people because of that. They have each other to relate too, I suppose."
"And Ollie's boyfriend," I said, watching Guy walk over and join the two. "Ok, that little power-group is officially not to be trusted."
"Who's my- oh. What's he doing here?" Ollie asked, frowning as we watched Guy chatting with Annabelle and Kenny. At least Annabelle didn't look happy to see Guy.
"Maybe he's here to molest you again."
"What?" Cynthia asked, sounding worried.
"Guy grabbed Ollie's arse a week ago in the changing rooms at the gym," Tony told her.
"How do you know?" I asked Tony.
"Because I was there," he told me.
"Oh."
"Hang on, it looks like he's coming over here now," Ollie said.
"This could get interesting," I muttered.
"Please don't start anything, Billy," Ollie asked me.
"Why? He groped you!"
"And he knows that your bisexual - he gave me the impression before that he wouldn't mind dragging you kicking and screaming out of the closet."
"And how come you're only telling me this now?"
"I honestly don't think it's anything you need to worry about, and you've got enough on your plate," Ollie assured me. "Guy's all talk, don't stress."
"Good evening, Oliver," Guy said as he strode up to us, an irritating smirk on his face. "Hello, everyone else. Long time no see, huh?"
"Fortunately," I muttered, loud enough for him to overhear. Ollie shot me a warning look.
"Well, I hear you've been having a busy few months, William," Guy said, and my heart stopped. Did he know too?
"What do you mean?" I asked cautiously.
"Well you're whole father issue. You know, with Eddie? Who'd have guessed."
"Actually, I did," Tony said. "But I was mostly joking."
"Oh, you did to," Cyn said, suddenly remembering Tony's sarcastic prediction.
"So what's it like being the son of a rockstar? And the half-brother of another one?" Guy asked. He was acting innocently enough, but I was still waiting for him to turn around and start saying shit.
"Complicated," I told him. "But I guess we're figuring it out."
"Well, at least that's some good news for you."
Ollie interrupted me before I could ask him what exactly he meant by that. "I have good news too, Guy," Ollie told him, sounding chipper. "Billy's going to be playing football with us next season."
"You play?" Guy frowned at me. I nodded.
"I used to, but I had to stop for a few years. I'm a little rusty, but I'm sure a few training sessions with Ollie will get me back on my feet. I'm excited to start working on my stamina, personally," I gave Guy an exaggerated wink. "If you know what I mean."
"Oh, I think your stamina's pretty impressive," Ollie told me, joining in with my little tease. Guy shot me the briefest irritated glare before turning back to Ollie.
"Well, I certainly look forward to that. Maybe a bit of teamwork will be good for you, Bill? You might learn how to play nicely with others for a change."
"I play very nicely, especially with people who don't grope my boyfriend in the shower like some predatory pervert," I said with a little warning in my voice.
"I'm sorry, I wasn't aware you two were dating any longer," Guy told me. "My impression was that you were - oh, what was it you said Oliver? That's right, you said he was 'a greedy waste of time and effort, full of excuses to justify how he sucks dry everyone around him'," Guy said. "You said he had all your friends wrapped around his finger, and everyone let him get away with everything because they felt sorry for him! Sorry for him because he's an abandoned, stupid, poverty-stricken boy with no hope of ever accomplishing anything. Isn't that right Oliver? That's exactly what you told me a few weeks ago."
"You can leave now, Guy," Tony snapped at him.
"Fine. I'll see you at practice." Guy walked back towards the house, grinning triumphantly.
"Billy, I'm so sorry-"
"Relax, Ollie. I know he just made that shit up to get under my skin, so don't worry about it," I told him with a reassuring smile. A reassuring smile that gradually faded as I took in the guilty-as-Hell look on his face. "He... He did make that stuff up, didn't he? You don't honestly think all of that stuff about me?"
"No, of course not, Billy. Look, you'd just broken up with me, and I was really angry and upset and confused when I said those things, I was hurt and I just needed to vent - I told you last week that I'd said some things I regret," Ollie told me, looking at me apologetically. "But I didn't mean any of it, I was just angry and I was trying to make myself feel better. I didn't know what was really going on then."
"So you did say all of that."
"I'm so sorry, but as I said I didn't understand what was going on and I was really hurt when you told me we were breaking up. I said those horrible things but I didn't really mean them. Please don't be upset, you know how much I love you. I was just angry at the time. Please don't let it bother you, it was just hot air, that's all," Ollie told me. I believed him, and I understood why he'd say all of that if he was upset, but it still sucked. It made me wonder if perhaps there was some truth to what he said, whether he thought so now or not. Maybe my friends really did pity me, maybe I really was stupid, maybe I did use people and maybe I would never accomplish anything, ever. Maybe I was just as useless and worthless as I feared. Maybe Dad was right.
After all, Ollie always is.