A Kind Soul With No Purpose [Complete]

Chapter 18. Pain and Regret

Gon

Today is not my day at all from burying Ging far in a deserted area. We didn't have any shovels with us in the car, so the solution that I found was to hit the hard ground to make a hole for him to fit into. We had covered him with a black sheet, so he won't get dirty, all nice and clean to see the devil down below.

Kurapika, on the other hand regretted of coming to see and help with Gings' lifeless body. This felt very harrowing. Killing, bandaging and burying my last family member in the ground. I just wanna throw up for everything that has happened.

Right now, we are layering to nothing in the car except silence. No words were spoken between us after doing something very illegal. To be fair, I wouldn't want to talk to a stranger who killed their own father, carrying the body and burying the corpse.

In the corner of my eye, I just see Kurapika staring out of the window door, a placed hand under his chin for support. I open my mouth to say something, but closed it since it would be super awkward.

I finally let out a heavily relief to see the apartments in the distance. Glad to get out of this uncomfortable situation.
Driving back smoothly into the driveway of the complex, then I felt a familiar glare on me as I put the gear in park. I didn't bother to look back nor ask him to leave. He just sighed, opening the door to leave my presence alone in the vehicle, shutting it carefully and walked away from the car.

Leaving all alone, again, I just stared out of the big windshield, confused, lost for words and heartbroken. Screaming loudly in anger in an anguish of the suffering I've been through, hitting the horn so hard with my fist that it beeped. Feeling a little sting in through the hand to the arm, that I immediately shrugged it off and hit my head on the steering wheel.

Why is everything so cruel to me? What have I done to deserve this punishment?

Bringing up the messed up hands to my hair, wanting to pull it out so badly, in order for my mind of everything that happened to me. No. I just ruffled the spiky hair, that is now even messier than before. Trying not to make this horrible situation worse than it already is.

Lifting my head up to see a fist mark in the middle of the steering wheel, ignoring it to grab pull out my keys and getting out of the fancy car. Stepping in front of the car, contemplating about this vehicle, whether or not of keeping this. Ging was a pretty rich guy until retiring. Still pretty skeptical, thinking how long he had this car for. The engine works just fine and everything seems pretty clean except for the back seat that is still covered with little stains of blood. I'll clean that sometime today or tomorrow.

Humming as I was tapping my foot to think and decided to sleep instead.  Checking the time on my phone, saying it's 10:30. Yawning and headed back inside, revealing the blood stains all over the floor. Including the wall.

Slamming the door hard and started clean everything up.

~~~

Getting back up to wipe the sweat from my forehead, after cleaning the wall and pulled myself onto the cozy bed.

Rolling over onto my back, closing my eyelid slowly to ease myself from today.

Having memories of Killua getting mad and shoving me off for being too hard on him is killing me. Something inside of me changed, making me a different person, someone who once used to be at a much younger age. But, I've made a ton of mistakes in my life, and yet; hurting Killua is where I felt selfish.

A pretty chill casual guy with a heart with a painful life. Caring for me, by helping kill someone who hurt me in the past, studying with me, intending to kill my father for who also ruined my life, he also even helped a child in some way, and you know what I did something good for him? Kissing him. I know it was obscene, for the reason something came over me when I laid eyes on him and my body took control of doing such a terrible thing to an amazing beautiful person.