Room 302

.20

I don't think i ever thought i'd be in an Ambulance again.
After my mother's death i assumed it would be the last time.
But i rode in an ambulance all the way to a hospital.
They stuck me on a stroller and rolled me down the hall.
I remember all those days when the doors would fly open when I volunteered and i'd see a patient nearly dead on the stretcher but not completly dead.
Like they were fighting with every fiber in their body to stay alive.

To fight for someone they love.
I hear a wail.
It was high pitched.
I'd know that voice anywhere.
Kacie must be here.
Was she volunteering?
I know she decided to come to this hospital to help.

"NOOO!" I hear her scream.
"Kacie" i say but no voice came out.
My lips didn't even move.
My eyes closed making me look dead.
The oxygen mask around my mouth did nothing for me.
"Ma'am please step back, we need to prep for surgery, she has a collapsed lung, six bruised ribs three broken, wrist and Jaw fractured a concussion, and internal bleeding" a paramedic states.
I hear Kacie sob when she hears this.

I couldn't bear hearing her sob.
But i had to.
I couldn't move.
The nurses continue to wheel me down the hall and in to a room.
I wont do commentary for the surgery.
Cause i knew everything they did and it felt like i was in a horror house.
You know in a horror house and you see an actor pretending to pull someone's guts from them?
Thats what it felt like.

But let me skip forward to them hooking me up in a room and stating i was in a coma.
The worst part?
I could be here for days, weeks, months, even years.
They said my brain took a big hit and was still mentally healing.
I wanted to cry out.
But it was like a battle field.
Wound after wound.
Loss after loss.
Death after dead.
First mom. Now me?

I wanted to cry out HELP ME I'M STILL HERE PLEASE SAVE ME!
But no one heard my silenced cries.
So i laid here.
I only had the heart moniter to keep me company.
Me and it had a lot of conversations.
It just went beep but i imagined it as Kacie or Aden argueing with me about silly things.
Oh dear... have i already gone insane?
How long has it been?

If i count the minutes i would say its been a day already.
Where is everybody?
Surely dad would come in and lecture me.
Surely Kacie would come and beg me to stay.
Surely Bria would curl up making my broken ribs and stitches hurt like hell but i would want it all.

But they didn't come.
No one came.
The heart moniter was starting to annoy me with its continuous chitter chatter.
When i wake up i'm going to have a word with a nurse about making the heart moniter watch its mouth.

I find myself counting sheep to see if i could lull myself in a sleep to where i could wake but i don't.
After awhile i decide to take it upon myself to lecture the heart moniter on its langauge.
Like c'mon, no one needs those beepings.

I wonder if in six of seven years a man will come in and decide to kiss me like i kissed Asher.
I'd wake up and we'd talk for a few minutes then he'd disappear then come back.
I seriously need to wash the heart moniter's Mouth out with soap.