SAVE [UPDATED]

11: Goodbye

I hear creaking up the steps and quickly flip the pages towards the front and start doodling random birds and skulls. Setting my soda on a nearby nightstand, my mouth watered at the smell of salted buttery kernels before the popcorn even got into the room.

"Oh! That smells so good babe, thank you."

I'm trying so hard to make my happiness seem genuine.

He starts the movie, turns off the lights, and we cuddle under the blankets eating our popcorn. I grab my caffeine-filled soda and start drinking it bit by bit.
Josh chuckles.

"Ty, you won't be able to sleep after sinking all of that."
I smile back at him.

"Oh don't worry, I can drink five of these and be out within minutes. The caffeine doesn't affect me. I'll sleep fine."
Lies. All I spoke were lies. But it's all part of the plan.

He nodded and went back to watching the colorful TV. The fleece blankets tempt me to sleep but I was determined. It was going to happen tonight. And Josh won't stop me.

--

(Time Skip: 4 hours later)

The movie had ended and Josh had been asleep for quite some time, so I knew now was my chance. I slowly slipped out of the warm bed, put on my shoes, a hoodie I brought, and my bag. I tip toed down to the living room and sat on the floor reviewing my note.

"To: Josh
From: Ty

Dear Josh. I'm really really sorry that you had to wake up without me next to you. I hope that side of the bed isn't too cold. I hope that doesn't bother you, because it might stay that way for a while.
You see, yesterday, I didn't fall down a hill. No. Leo pulled me into the bathroom, held a switchblade up to my neck, and threatened me. To sum it up, he said that if I didn't kill myself, he'd kill you. And I can't have that Josh. Besides, you would be so much happier without me. I'm a mistake. You're a cool guy with thousands of friends. You could just find a replacement I'm sure. Same goes with my family. They could just adopt a better brother, a better son. Something that won't constantly bring them down.

None of this is your fault Josh. None. In fact, you actually delayed this for quite some time. I would've done it much much sooner if it wasn't for you.

Please look after yourself. Promise me you won't mourn a day, and you'll move onto someone else.

I love you, Josh.
Goodbye."

I think I was ready.
I set the note on the table, and tried to leave as quietly as I could. The moment I shut the door, I made a run for it.
No one is going to stop me now.

After a few minutes of sprinting, my lungs were on fire, but I made it to the bridge. I sat down against the railing and looked at the blue-grey weather around me. I liked it. I'm glad this is the last kind of weather I'll be in.
My backpack has never opened up with so much ease. I pulled out the sleeping pills, blades, and a bottle of water. I had backup plans.

This was going to work. I knew it.

I brought the blade up to my arm, only to find that I couldn't bring myself to do it vertically. Maybe I still had hope for life, somewhere deep inside me. But that didn't stop me from making gash after gash on my wrist, letting the blood dribble down my arms.

I opened the bottle of water, then swallowed one pill.

Now's your chance.

Three pills.

Finally rid the world of a mistake.

Ten pills.

Give your family some peace and quiet!

Eighteen pills.

One less dumb student to worry about!

I think I'm at twenty five.

You worthless, useless shitbag. It's a shame you didn't do this long ago.

I've lost count. They're all gone now. I stand up, and start pacing up and down the bridge, enjoying the fresh air as my head starts to spin and my stomach starts to turn. I then propped myself on the edge of the cold, thick railing, looking down at the river below me.

Maybe I'll fall asleep and slip into the water.

Maybe I'll hit my head on the concrete behind me and die instantly.

Either way, I was finally achieving my goals;

I'm going to die.