April 29,
God, I've never been so torn in my life.
I've been debating in my head whether i should break up with up with Zayn or not.
He's been nothing but a complete gentleman to me. Hes funny, caring, sweet, easy to have a conversation with. I bet you're thinking "Then why the hell do you want to break up with him?" Well, I'll give you that answer.
I'm really just straight up no good for him. If only he knew what was really wrong with me, then maybe he'd understand why I need to break up with him.
All I'm doing is wasting his time, he could find a beautiful girl, one he has everything in common with, one that is beautiful and he can have conversations about novels with, someone without all my problems.
Why did i ever let myself get so close? I always seem to have this problem, I get too attached to people and it takes a turn for the worst. This time, it's all on me. I could have distanced myself from him a while ago but i never did. I just got closer and closer.
And look where it's gotten me.
I really do have a way to mess everything up I guess. Why did I have to be born with this curse? Why couldn't I have been born hot and talented with only good luck? Oh yeah, because life never works like that.
All I can really say is damn you Zayn Malik for being so perfect and damn myself for getting attached when i shouldn't have.
Today was the day I've never been so torn about what to do.
Zayn almost felt his heart drop to his feet all over again reading this entry. She kept trying to escape him and it never worked, she was all he really wanted. But either way, it still ended.
Feeling the need to know her next thoughts, he kept reading.
May 11,
Never did I think it would happen so fast, but it did.
A/N
so so so so so so sorry for the late update i will be double updating tomorrow and also a real quick heads up, i'm leaving for Montana in three days where there isnt all that much service so i will update when i can but they will be random and unknown for about two weeks. ok long authors note i apologize ok bye i love you all ~ Lainey
