Finding Her {Glee: Faberry}

Chapter 9

/Three days after Rachel is shown Quinn's scars./

Quinn hesitated in front of the door. After she left Rachel's last time it was hard. Rachel was so forgiving of everything Quinn had ever done in high school. Most importantly, Rachel didn't even flinch or show any sign of judgement when showed the scars. A feeling of warmth flooded Quinn at how big the brunette's heart was. Finally, someone seemed to want to accept her for every fatal flaw that had plagued her mind for years.

Today Quinn planned to tell Rachel that she was gay. She couldn't hide it for long, it was a big part of her life really, so she just wanted it out in the open soon for their friendship so things don't get weird like they would if she told her later, because it always got weird for her other friends, which is why she didn't exactly have many friends.

Quinn set the flowers and vase she had bought for Rachel in the hallway beside the door. Roses. A classic dozen. She felt like this was almost a cheesy date pick up because of them.

Her fist hovered above the wood before there was no going back. She knocked twice and waited. Quinn heard some movement beyond the door and tried to hide her nervous grin.

"Hey, Quinn." Rachel emerged before her. Her hair disheveled and in a robe. Quinn's eyes went wide and her mouth went dry.

"I uh.. did I interrupt something? I can leave." Quinn's hands balled into fists at her sides and she tensed up.

"Just wasn't expecting anyone." Rachel smiled softly and nodded. Someone yelled for Rachel in the background. A male voice. She couldn't tell if it was Finn or not. "I have to really go. Call me, okay? I'm sorry!"

Quinn nodded. Rachel flashed a smile one last time before closing the door.

"Bye, Rachel." Quinn's voice cracked. She choked. Tears welled in her eyes. "Of course she isn't single Quinn. Why should you even think you had any chance? It's not like she's gay anyways. Idiot." She said aloud, picking up the flowers.

She ran out of the apartment building and into the alleyway. There she slammed the vase and flowers against the building's brick wall, tears flowing freely now. A few shards of glass pressed into her palm, blood beginning to streak down her fingers as she held her arms by her side.

"She doesn't want you. She doesn't want you." She repeated to herself as she ran home.

Once she got to her apartment, she sank against the door and sobbed. Quinn didn't know how long she had been crying there before her phone buzzed in her pocket. She lifted it, the sting in her hand reminding her again of the way Rachel looked in that fucking white robe.

To: Quinn

Hey, sorry about earlier. What are you doing tomorrow? (: (:

From: Rachel

A new wave of tears surged forward and she hiccuped air in, unable to breathe. She had thought that maybe Rachel could be hers, but evidently that position was filled in Rachel's life.

To: Rachel

Nothing. Just.. nothing.

From: Quinn

Because nothing was all she had ever done. What else could she do when she had nothing? Meant nothing? And maybe she over reacted, but after waiting so long, old wounds opened. She craved Rachel for so long, but now satisfaction was to never be reached.