hope

182 13 7

by vanja_m03

by vanja_m03

Standing in the wind would be nice . Standing in the crowd would be nice . Sitting with people would be nice . Everything other than this would be nicer . I wish I wasn't that alone . I want him to come back , so I can see him again . I miss him . I dreamed about his personality . I feel like I've known him my hole life . I remember his eyes the most . That one look he gave me , I can never forget it .

Sun rose as the bloody night send kisses for goodbye . I cried a river , bloody river for wanting him so bad . Wanting to leave this wall . This trap . This horrible and miserable life . Tears and sweat mixed with pain in my heart aching in my hand , my hands trembling . I can't pray anymore . This hole time I hoped I would find out what happened , find my past , unfortunately that's all I have . Past . My present stopped moving with the world , as I was dead , the world moved on . I didn't .

I saw a lot of people yesterday . Different types : young and old , men and women , kids and adults . This place became popular very fast . He hasn't shown up yet but I think he will , I hope he does . I have a strong feeling about this , maybe this time I won't be wrong to trust my intuition . Eliot is very silent this days . I wonder what's wrong with him. Maybe it's because the weather changes everyday so he can't keep up . I don't know , I miss him . I hope he is well . Today I learned a bit of Norwegian . There were this girls who tried learning but they knew very little so they just throw themselves at kissing . I've never seen such a scene in my life . Two girls kissing . Yet I didn't feel anything , but it was nice to watch . The world changed a bit , I didn't know gay people could go around and kiss one another at the park . I am glad people aren't afraid anymore . You should love the person , not gender . I never thought about my sexuality since I don't remember if I had anyone . Thinking about this random stuff makes me feel more lonely than I already am . I wonder what else changed in this past five years but I really don't know how to even ask . People often get scared so they just pretend like no one spoke to them . It makes me sad , but it's not their fault . It's human to be afraid . They often think they are mad or the place is haunted , it's funny really . But personally , I wouldn't believe myself either .

It's almost sun set . People started packing and leaving . Some are going home for dinner , some are going out for drink or they are going to the restaurant . I am the only one staying , I can never leave this place. As I watched people leaving I saw a little girl sitting on the grass a few meters away from everyone . The little girl looked scared , she started crying silently . I wanted to help her . I waited for everyone to leave and I called for her - Hey . Psst . Little girl . Over here . In the wall . Come to me . What's wrong ? Why are you sad ? - I asked in the most gentle voice I could use . She walked towards me . - I am sorry but I don't see you . - she said apologising . - Oh , you shouldn't be sorry , no one can see me . You see , I am trapped in a wall . And oh , I am sorry for being rude , I haven't introduced myself . My name is Park Jimin . Nice to meet you . - I said laughing brightly . - That's sad . I am sorry , I didn't know . My name is Jeon Lisa . - she giggled . - You have a nice name Lisa . But why were you crying back there ? - I could see her smile dripping so I said - If it makes you sad , you don't have to tell me . - she nodded . She turned her back and sat on my feet . - Is it okay if I turn my back on you like this , we can still talk though. - she added . - Of course . So , how old are you Lisa ? -

- I am 10 years old . How old are you Jimin ? -

- How old do you think I am ? - I giggled .

- Are you 15 ? - she said in confusion. I started laughing so hard I could feel tears running down my face . - What's so funny ? - she laughed , turning around so she could see me . But of course she couldn't so she leaned on the wall again .

- I am 22. - I said trough laughter .

- 22 ? Wow I am sorry . I thought you were 15 or maybe even younger because of your voice . - she said laughing .

- It's okay . -

- Should I call you Mister ? You are 12 years older than me. -

- Of course not . Just call me Jimin. -

- Okay Jimin , why are you in the wall ? -

I sighted before answering that - I don't really know Lisa . -

- Oh , sorry for asking . -

- No , It's okay . Let's talk about you . Tell me more about you . -

- Well , I go to school everyday . My favorite subject is math . I have a cat named Suga . I have an older brother . My best friend's name is Mia . And I love drawing . - she finished with the brightest smile .

- That's very nice . Though , why Suga ? -

- It's because my best friend can't say the letter R very well so it isn't Sugar it's Suga . Plus , It's even cuter . -

- Hmm , I see . I like it though . Do you think you can bring her sometimes ? -

- I'll try since my brother is obsessed with our cat . -

I laughed at that - Okay . It's getting dark I think you should go home . -

- Yeah I will . But I will come back tomorrow after school. I promise . -

- Okay . Bye Lisa . -

- Bye Jiminie. -

I watched her running trough the garden when she disappeared from my sight I closed my eyes. I made a friend. I am so happy . Goodnight Eliot . With that I fell asleep .