t he | b o y | i n | t h e | w a l l

different

I was watching him for days. We had a fight and it seems like he makes himself forget about me but it seems impossible. He is in his hospital bed , talking to himself for hours , playing , sometimes he mentions my name , but most of the time he cries . I hate to see him cry . He made it clear last time that he doesn't want to see me , but I can't seem to let him go . When he falls asleep I sometimes sleep next him . I hug him close and hold him tight like I used to do .
He was always crazy . But now , he just isn't here with me anymore . He is leaving .

It's been a couple of days since Lisa came to see me . I kept thinking about her brother . I wonder what's up with him.  I wish he could finally pay me a visit . It's raining outside . This morning went quite good . Less shaking and crying , just the emptiness I have been feeling for a long time now . I am spending my time thinking about things that I can say or teach Lisa.  She is very smart and mature . Maybe she can help forget my pain , but she can never help escape , no one can do that . I am jealous of her , which is I suppose very human .

'Please love me  Jungkook '. I remember that from the dream I had the other day. We were sitting by the sea watching sun setting down slowly and painfully through conversation . He told me that I have to tell him something and that I know what he means . In the dream I knew . It felt so real . I said it as if it was one simple ' good day ' I said it ' Please love me Jungkook ' . After that he kissed me . It felt so real I could swear it happened , it looked like a memory . I am confused . I going out of my mind ...

I am losing my mind again...

I need help .

Jungkook please come to me .

Authors note

Look guys I know this is short , but I am super sleepy . I am sorry for not updating but my school is going to kill me . I promise I'll write more at end of this week .