Depression - Adrienette

Author's Experience

A/N: Hey everyone, it's the author here. If you want you can skip this because it's about my personal experience. I need a place to kinda say why I'm writing this in a place that I'm kinda anonymous. So feel free to skip if you want to.

It started early in high school. I'm not sure why but I started staying in bed more and I was looking a depressing quotes. They felt kinda accurate then but now I kinda wonder if I made myself feel that way but then couldn't get out of it. I eventually almost started to cut myself. The farthest I'd ever got was either lightly pressing my finger into some kind of blade or digging my nails into my arm as hard as I could to the point where I couldn't really feel the pain.

I kept this to myself and didn't tell anyone about it. The only reason my parents knew was because I posted something on Instagram the August before my junior year of high school that said something about how I felt like a failure and that I wanted it to end.

My parents talked to me about it and freaked out a lot, probably because one of my older brothers went through something similar. I managed to hide it behind my smile and pretended that I was happy. The quote that I posted said something about how I thought of myself as useless and how I was sorry about existing.

Since my parents confronted me, I'd felt better until the January after that not too long before my boyfriend of 15 months and I broke up. Before then, he had made me feel like I was stupid and that I was bad for telling him no. I kept all of that in. Now (February of my Junior year in high school) I have started to feel like I did before. I've started to feel useless and I've wanted to cut again. I almost pressed a box cutter against my forearm. The only reason I haven't is because I don't want to worry my family or friends. They're too precious for me to lose.

Now, I've started biting myself, scratching myself, and digging my nails into myself.

I started writing this story to help give myself an outlet for all of my thoughts of self-harm.

Thanks for reading, if anyone did. Thanks for letting me write this note so I can kinda explain why this story is a thing. Bye!