average life for the maple leafs

chappy 7

Feb 26, Tampa Bay, FL
10:50PM

   "Auston, we need you back," Mitch reluctantly said into the speakerphone.
   "Really? You? I thought you were leading in points now, Mr. Better-than-Auston?"
   "Yeah, well we took home an L against the Lightning, as you probably saw."
   "That penalty shot though, Mitch. That's your fault."
   "Are you kidding me?" Mitch raised his voice. "Their goalie is like five feet taller than anyone else in the league!"
   "Dude, shut up! If you were better, you would have got it in and that's all there is to it," Auston said.
   "Whatever, at least the space between my eyebrows and my hairline isn't longer than my dick," Mitch mumbled.
   "But your gums are, Horseteeth," Auston snapped back. JvR overheard and started laughing hysterically. Mitch's eyes narrowed even more.
   "Shut the fuck up James, you look like you tried to steal Christmas," he shouted over to him. "Not to even MENTION that fucking black hole on your face." He turned back to the phone while JvR looked down.
   "And it's not my fault I have more points than you, I've played more games this season. That's it! You don't need to be salty."
   "Fine. Look, I'm sorry I've been pissed off lately. I don't like not being able to play, and I don't like being injured. It sucks."
   "Yeah, I get you." They both paused for a while. "But why do you need to insult my teeth? They're not really that bad," Mitch said.
   "Yes they are," Auston replied and hung up.

   Willy and Kappy walked into the locker room together, giggling at each other all the while.
"You're the cutest line-mate I've had all season," Kappy joked with some truth behind his joke. Willy blushed and hit him with a, "No, you're definitely cuter." They continued saying, "No, you are," back and forth until they got to their lockers.
Everyone in the room stared at them. There's no way that I'm putting them on the same line again, Babcock thought as he walked past them.
"Hey lovebirds, do you guys realize how grossly sappy you are?" Tyler asked. Will waved him off as he pulled off his shirt. Kappy whistled from his locker and Will wiggled his eyebrows at him.
"Stooooop," Bozie groaned. "You're making me sick."
"And basically the rest of us," Nazem said.
Before anyone else could interject, Mitch shrieked and jumped up onto the bench near his locker. A look of implicit terror was plastered on his face.
"KILL IT KILL IT KILL IT!" he screamed.
A huge spider emerged into view for the others as it crawled across the floor.
"IT MOVED," Mitch screamed as he leapt off the bench he was standing on and sprinted out of the room.
"Uh...?" Will walked over to investigate. "Oh! Hi, little—er... Big buddy!"
"DON'T TOUCH IT OR YOU'LL DIE," Kappy screeched from now across the room.
"Yeah, I don't do spiders," Nazem said as he tried to scoot out the door. Before he could slip away, though, Tyler grabbed his arm and pulled him back in.
"Someone's gotta get this spider, and its not gonna be me," he said to him. "Or Will, 'cause he's gonna try to pet it."
Nazem looked all around the room to see everyone staring at him with pleading eyes. He grumbled.
"Fine! But you all owe me," he said as he walked over to it with a clear plastic cup and a Tupperware container.
"What the fuck kind of spider is this?" he asked, eyeing it suspiciously.
Morgan Reilly walked up to him and the spider.
"I sensed an unusual amount of distress be emitted from this specific area." He looked down at the eight-legged monster. "This is what you all are afraid of? That's just a wolf spider. Its bite is painful, but not deadly."
Nazem looked more pissed off than ever.
"Just a wolf spider? Here! You move it if you're oh so unafraid." He handed him the cup and the container. Morgan took the container and without apprehension scooped up the wolf spider.
   "I ceremonially eat out of this container after every practice or game," he said. They all paused and stared at him with wide eyes.
   "Don't you dare eat that fucking spider," Nazem said. Morgan ignored him and looked down at the tasty spider.
   "The saliva is already building up in my mouth, preparing my stomach to easily digest this arachnid. Excuse me." He walked into a stall of the bathroom.
   "MORGAN REILLY WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH...—"
   The toilet flushed and Morgan walked back out.
   "Do you really think I'd eat a spider? Is that how you all think of me?" He looked around at them all. "There's barely any protein. Crickets and beetles are better."
   Willy finally realized what Morgan had done and broke down. "Why?!" he cried out. Kappy tried to comfort him, but it didn't help. "The spider didn't do anything wrong! And he flushed it down the toilet!"
"Calm down, there's plenty more spiders in the world who aren't dead yet," Kappy reassured. Will looked up and smiled at him through tears.
"Thanks, Kap." He pulled him into a hug. Tyler and Nazem groaned.
"Is it gone?" Mitch said, only his head peering out from the door. After seeing several of his teammates nod, he cautiously crept back into the room.
"What happened to it?" Mitch asked.
"Morgan fl-flush-..." Willy whimpered.
"It's in the sewer," Kappy finished his thought frankly.
"This state is fucked," Mitch said. "Ya know what else is in the sewer? Snakes. Giant ass snakes. The beach is nice but that's it."
"We need to leave as soon as possible," Morgan said. They all agreed and filed out of the locker room after gathering all their stuff.
Once they reached the bus, Morgan hurried them on.
"The mosquitoes are coming."