average life for the maple leafs

chappy 8

March 10, Toronto, Ontario
11:30PM

(Morgan Reilly's house)

"Happy post-birthday, Morgan!" Auston said to him with a warm hug from the threshold or the front door. Morgan smiled and actually hugged him back. His happiness radiated through the whole house, and everyone's mood lightened even more.
"Come on in! You can set that bag on the counter and I'll take your coat. The food's in the living room."
Morgan had decided to schedule his 24th birthday party with the team after the game to hype them up (for he knew in advance that they'd win, due to unspeakable psychic powers.)
Surely enough, the hype-up worked. Mitch, Nazem, and Tyler were at his TV playing Fortnite, and almost everyone else was eating and talking to each other.
"Now that everyone's here, it's time to cut the ca—"
"DUBBBBBB!!" Mitch screamed as he threw his open bottle of Mountain Dew at Nazem, who had a winning streak of three rounds.
"Fuck you, man," Nazem retorted, wiping the soda off his new shirt. Tyler laughed hysterically. Morgan stiffened.
"To the dining room, now. And Mitchell," he said, glaring at him, "You clean that disgusting carbonated sugar water up." And as fast as his anger came, it left, and his face lit up again. "I'm sure you all will enjoy the sweets!"

They all gathered into the dining room and sat around the table with an ENORMOUS cake and several other pastries and desserts in the middle of it. The whole room smelled like a bakery. Mitch and Auston's stomachs grumbled as they stared at the goodies with delight.
Kappy got onto the table and lit the six rows of four candles and leapt off into Willy's arms.
"Now before you guys all devour this all and die of sugar overdose," JvR announced, "we obviously have to sing 'Happy Birthday' to Morgan!"
Travis immediately jumped onto the table, knocking over a tub of ice cream. "IT'S MY TIME TO SHINE!" He pulled out a full sized microphone from his pocket and turned it on.
A chorus of everyone else invited (Auston, James, Kappy, Mitch, Nazem, Tyler, Willy, and Zach) with a lead singer of Travis erupted into song.
"...Happy birthday, dear MR. BEST DEFENCE OF THE NATIONAL HOCKEY LEAGUE: MORGAN REILLYYYY," Travis yelled dramatically from the tabletop. "Happy birthday to you!" He tried his hardest to do an impressive dance, but no one paid attention to him; they were focused on the giant cake.
After Morgan cut the cake for everyone, they all started gorging themselves on the diverse array of goodies.

An hour passed and everyone was stuffed. Neither Mitch nor Auston could even move.
"PRESENT TIME!" Tyler said when he finished his last bite of cake. Mitch laughed nearly threw up. "Ohhhh no," he said afterwards. Auston looked at him.
"You didn't buy it. Tell me now, you did NOT buy it," Auston whispered to him, glaring, all the while. Mitch looked down at his feet with a grin.
"Oh my Gooooddd," he whisper-groaned.
"C'mon guys, I moved the gifts to the living room," Morgan said, beckoning the group to the couches.
"Pick mine first!" Tyler said when they all sat around the coffee table full of presents. Mitch and Auston sighed in relief.
Morgan tried to pick up the box but didn't suspect the box's weight; he struggled to lift it.
He put it back on the table and delicately unwrapped Bozie's horrible wrapping skills' product and all its four layers to reveal a small box that just barely fit in his palm.
"From its weight, I assume it's made of some kind of metal?" Morgan said as he peeled off the tape and opened the box. "Maybe gold?"
He opened the box to reveal a lump of cobalt. They all looked at Morgan, then at a smiling Bozie.
"What the hell is this?"
"I saw it in a thrift store and I thought of you! Isn't it so pretty?"
"What the hell kind of thrift store do you go to?" Mitch asked. Tyler's smile faded a bit.
"Do you... Not like it?" he asked with a glint of a tear welling in his eye. Morgan patted him on the back and smiled.
"I love it. Thanks, Bozie," he said. "I'd like to ask you how this lump of rock reminds you of me, though."
Tyler thought about it for a moment.
"It's because you're like a rock and like, ya know... You're strong and... Blue," he said looking up in thought.
Morgan smiled. "Thank you." He moved on to Will and Kappy's present. They giggled as they pushed him their present across the table.
He hesitantly opened the large box. ...To another box with different wrapping paper. Morgan stared at the two boys, who were trying frivolously to hide their laughter. He sighed.
Another box. And another. And another. Morgan was about to stop, but Kappy said, "You'll be looking great with this ice on your wrist. ...It's from Ikea though." Willy's eyes filled with tears from laughing and he playfully punched Kasperi's arm.
Morgan finally opened the last box to a Ziplock bag full of water. Willy and Kappy burst out laughing like a shotgun being fired. Auston and Nazem joined in.
"That was good!" Auston said. Will and Kappy both got up, mockingly bowed, then sat back down. Morgan threw the bag of water at Kap and moved on to Auston's present.
"Didn't know what you wanted, so Zach and I both pitched in got you some ACTUAL ice for your wrist. Rolex," he said as Morgan opened the small box.
"Niiice," Mitch said as Morgan put it on. Morgan admired the watch's shimmering gold and hugged Auston and Zach.
Travis got him Tupperware and a Sam's Club membership card, Nazem got him a voucher for a free tattoo, and James just got him a card with a hundred bucks in it.
   Now it was Mitch's turn for his present to be opened. He grinned, and Auston left for the bathroom.
   "What is this?"
   From an elongated-shaped box, Morgan pulled out a giant, pink and glittery dildo. Nazem spit out his water out onto the table. Mitch started dying of laughter.
   "Why?" Morgan asked, trying to hide his immaturity. Mitch couldn't answer because he just couldn't stop laughing. Morgan grew kind of angry, so he chucked it at him like a javelin. Right. In. His. Mouth.
"GACK!" Mitch choked out. Auston came back out of the bathroom with apprehension to an interesting sight: Mitch choking on the present he got. Auston grinned as Mitch finally dislodged the thing from his throat.
"Damn, Mitch, how much a pop? With a deep throat like that, at least $25, right?"
"Go fuck yourself," Mitch said to him.
"But you could do it for me just so much better," Auston retorted. Mitch just got up, grabbed his coat, and stomped out the door in shame.
   "Well, I guess it's time for us to get leaving," Auston said as he watched Mitch slam the door.
"Yeah... But thanks, guys. I had fun, and you all made my birthday a little better," Morgan said as he led them all out the door. "Drive safely!"
And as they usually do at the end of these stories, they all got into their cars and left.