average life for the maple leafs

ch(kappy) 2

Feb. 7th, Toronto, Ontario
11:47PM

"Another round!" Auston yelled to the bartender. "Here's to tonight's win and Kappy and James!"
Mitch, Nazem, JvR, Auston, and Kasperi gulped down their shots of whiskey and maple syrup. Kappy, the second most drunk of them all, stood up in front of all of them.
"Excuse me!" Kasperi said. "I have *hiccup* a very, very...—he pointed a finger in the air—Important announcement to make!"
Everyone at the bar looked at him and his luscious lips.
"Tonight... Get up, James. C'mon." He escorted JvR up next to him, then continued. "Tonight, I present you all *hiccup* the love of my life!"
"He's gay? That's... not really that surprising," Auston, the only sober of them, said under his breath while JvR blushed and pursed his lips.
This? This is what I get for being the Hockey is for Everyone ambassador? JvR thought.
Mitch, on the other hand, started clapping and cheering wildly. He grabbed Nazem and Auston around their necks and hugged them tightly.
"Look at little Kappy getting all grown up! And James," he said with a proud look. "Good job."
"Well," JvR said. "You barely know me, I'm not gay, and from what I recall, you're not either."
After what James said registered, Kasperi looked as though his heart had been shattered. No one had EVER turned down him or his beautiful, plump lips before!
Nazem interjected.
"Don't you have a girlfriend, Kap?"
Kasperi couldn't BELIEVE THIS! He stormed to the men's restroom to go look for Willy, who was in the last stall, hugging the toilet bowl.
"Willy?" Kappy called.
He got a weak, "Yeah?" from the last stall. Kappy walked to the stall and knocked on the door. Willy unlocked the door, his face pale and greenish.
"You okay?"
"Yeah... But man, these uh... Red Bull Swedish Fish don't mix well with those... maple syrup shots," Will said uneasily as he rubbed his head.
"I wouldn't have uh... tried that anyways, but *hiccup* thanks for the warning," Kappy said in a soft, pitiful voice.
Willy smiled at him before turning back into the toilet and throwing up again.
"Do you need some *hiccup* water?" Kappy asked as he drunkenly put his hand on Will's shoulder.
Before he could answer, someone ran into the door to the restroom. A muffled, "OW, FUCK!" came from the other side.
"Uh, it's pull, not push," Willy yelled. He held his forehead in his palms and Mitch ran in the bathroom and into the next stall. Sounds of puke plopping into the toilet came from that stall.
Once he finished emptying his stomach, Mitch sniffed, jumped up, and ran back out of the bathroom with a high pitched, "WOOO!"
Kappy and Willy looked at each other and laughed weakly.
"I'll go get you some water and *hiccup* I'll get Auston to bring you to the tour bus and maybe you can *hiccup* get some sleep."
"Uh... Thank you."
Kappy ran out of the bathroom and to the bar to get some water for Will.
"Hey Kap, where were you?" Auston tried to ask him over Nazem and Mitch's singing of a Britney Spears song to JvR.
"I was just *hiccup* checking on Will," he replied. "He's not doing too *hiccup* good so I'm getting him some water."
Auston furrowed his brows in concern.
"I can bring him to the bus," he said. "As long as you provide the puke bag."
Kappy laughed. "Yeah, but uh... don't forget about those *hiccup* guys," he said as he pointed to the other guys at the karaoke machine. Mitch was hip-thrusting on Nazem, who was now pretty drunk, barely getting his words out. JvR was sitting on the floor with a microphone in his hand, not even singing along anymore; he just blankly stared at the words on the machine's screen.
Kappy got the water and promptly went back to Willy, who gladly accepted it.
"Thank... You?" Willy said, pointing to the stall's wall behind Kap.
"Here, let me *hiccup* help you up. Also..." Kappy handed him a plastic bag. "Here's your barf-bag. Auston doesn't *hiccup* want you to blow lunch all *hiccup* over the bus..."
Willy took it and immediately put it on his head.
"No!" he plucked the Walmart bag off Will's head. "I'll *hiccup* just give the bag to your uh... Chauffer."
Kap drunkenly escorted a blabbering Will out of the bathroom and to Auston, who was thanking the bartender. "Have a great night!"
Auston turned and looked at the completely wasted Will in horror. A once gorgeously handsome William Nylander has just been reduced to a homeless looking man with puke in his hair and dark bags under his eyes, and Auston had to witness it with his own eyes.
"Good Lord, Will!" He laughed. "You must've really had fun tonight, huh?" He looked to Kasperi. "Thank you, Kap. I'll get this guy to the bus and let him sleep. You go enjoy yourself with these idiots," he said, pointing back at Naz, Mitch, and JvR. "But don't go anywhere. I'll be back right after I help him out, and you guys will all pile in the bus and I'll drive everyone home. Got it?"
Kap just shook his head up and down and gave Auston the Walmart bag. Auston gave him a confused look.
"Barf-bag," Kap explained. "Don't let him have it unless he's actually *hiccup* gonna throw up though, 'cause he tried to *hiccup* put it on his head earlier."
"Noted," Auston said as he eyed Willy, who was now staring at the back of Kappy's head very intently. "Also, watch out for Mitch because he's even more shit-faced than you are right now. I don't know how they got Mountain Dew into Canada, or how they made shots from it, but he found it at this bar."
Auston escorted Will out to the bus and Kasperi stayed with the others. He only hung out with Mitch because he was too embarrassed at JvR and angry at Nazem to hang with them.
"Come... Um... This way," Mitch said, tried to get Kap to the bar to get more illegal Mountain Dew/vodka shots, and passed out mid-step. Kap tried to help him back up, but he insisted that he stay on the ground. Kappy finally decided to face JvR and Nazem again.
"You get the beeeeest of bo' worlls! Chilt out, take it sloow, then you ROCKOUT the show..." Nazem sang as he waltzed around JvR, who was still on the floor, talking to the mole on his face.
"Moley, will I ever be put on the first line?" he asked it. "I've made more goals than everyone besides Auston." After his mole didn't respond, he got flustered and curled up into a ball. "It's not fair."
Kappy dragged Mitch near the karaoke machine and confronted JvR and Nazem.
   "James, Naz, I *hiccup* am mad at you both."
   JvR and Nazem both turned to look at Kasperi.
   "What?" Nazem drunkenly asked. He hiccuped and giggled at himself. "Oh."
   JvR looked up at both of them. "Why? It's not my fault. It's Babcock's fault that I'm still not on the first line."
Oh, they've already forgotten about it, Kasperi thought. Great.
  Just then, Auston came back with puke on his shoulder to get the other four. Just as Kappy was about to ask about it, he answered.
   "I was carrying him over my shoulder. Willy missed the bag. I don't know how, because he put it over his head. But he did." Auston looked at Mitch and JvR. "Get up."
   James got up immediately, but Mitch didn't budge. He was completely passed out.
   "Ugh..." Auston grumbled as he picked Mitch up and put him over his shoulder. "Don't throw up."
   He escorted them all out of the building and to the tour bus safely, with the exception of Nazem tripping and JvR accidentally biting Kasperi. Nonetheless, they all made it home.