Raison D'être
(n.) A reason for existing
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Archer has been through a lot. Struggling with depression, and a voice in her head that just won't go away, she is driven to the edge of suicide. As she is almost successful, a...
That's all I was doing for the last hour. Walking around crying my eyes out. Knowing what I am going to do, in about 30 more tortures minutes. I have all of this time thinking, thinking about the family that never loved me, the someone who hated me but who I was infatuated with, and the person who I was dating that never knew I wasn't in love with them. They will soon find out though, by a note that was made for them.,
25 minutes
25 minutes until my demise. Why was I shaking? I am sure I want to do this. It wasn't like anyone is going to miss me anyway.
20 minutes
My heart pounding in my ears, if I don't hurry, they will find the letter sooner then I thought. I run. I run like it was life or death. And it really was.
15 minutes
This is what I get for being so unfit. My lungs feel as though they are on fire, like they are being sliced on a wire. My breaths coming in heavy pants and me trying to control them. My pulse being felt in my whole body. My legs feeling shaky. I think about all the things I will miss out in life. But I know that soon, that will be nonsense.
10 minutes
By now, I know that they found the notes. The person I love, Matthew, now knows I love and am infatuated with them. My girlfriend, Natali, knows that I don't really love her. My parents, finally see what my problem is. My older sister, knows that I love her, even if she is a knucklehead. My younger brother, knows that he annoys me, and even though he does I love him. All my friends that drifted, knows that I blame myself. I smile at the thought that I will be happy and free soon.
5 minutes
I... feel... everything. I feel more alive then I ever been. I can hear the water running, my feet as the hit the grass, and my pulse racing with... Joy? Sadness? I never felt the emotion I am feeling now. I look at my face in the puddle of water by my feet. The sad, now gray, eyes I see are their staring back at me. At least I get to see what color eyes I wanted be for I jump.
The Bridge
I always wanted to come up here with Matthew. That's the only thing that he would like me for. The view was perfect. The warmth of the sun hitting your back as you relax on the ledge of the bridge, admiring the view over London. I start singing the song I so adore.
Now the night is coming to an end The sun will rise and we will try again
I softly laugh at that part, because I know this will be my last time.
Stay alive, stay alive for me
My sister always said that as well as my girlfriend and my friends. But the people I wanted to hear it mostly from was my parents and Matthew.
You will die, but now your life is free Take pride in what is sure to die
I start yelling softly
I will fear the night again I hope I'm not my only friend
A smile is spread across my face
Stay alive, stay alive for me You will die, but now your life is free Take pride in what is sure to die
Silence
I take a step forward, finally enjoying the last thing I wanted to do before I am free
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AN: I am sosorryif it was depressing or all over the place. Please realize that this is my first time writing. If you have any questions, please comment and I will try to reply to them. I hoped you enjoyed.🙂
