Rasion D'tre (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 9

Matt's POV

When we got home, it was already around 2 o'clock in the morning. She was passed out on the couch because she still didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the bed. I was still up with my earbuds in listening to music. I was sitting at the table with a piece of paper that I planned to put on the fridge to add onto.

30 reasons to live on and stay with me

1. It's not worth the regret, even if you failed, left scars or a broken heart, or me feeling like I haven't done enough for you

2. Listening to your incredibly loud music and dancing to it with passion

3. Sitting on the edge of the bridge with me and enjoying the scenery

4. You finally getting the chance to star gaze

5. The ability to laugh out loud and not care what others think.

I look at what I have so far and erase the ' and stay with me' once that's done I post it on the fridge for her to see in the morning. I look over at her to see if she is ok and my heart skips a beat.

She is curled up with her knees to her chest, head on top of hands, but that's not what got my heart skipping. Her face is totally relaxed, in bliss even, instead of her almost paranoid worried look when she is awake. I go over towards her on instinct while draping a blanket over her cold body. She nuzzled into the blanket and says my name in the most gentle loving voice I have ever heard and has a ghost of a smile. I can feel my face grow hot as I realize that I am still staring at her closely. I lightly reach out towards a piece of hair the is in her face and tuck it behind her ear. I whisper goodnight to her and head toward my room.

I stare up at the ceiling like many times before and let my thoughts take over. But all of my thoughts are about the girl sleeping in my couch. The stubborn girl who loves to talk but never tells what she really wants. The girl who I have always watched from afar and could never take my eyes off of. The girls who actually made me feel human and more alive then I have ever felt. I want to do so much for her and I want to help her with the things she struggles with. I just want her to be honest and let the things she feels off her chest completely.

I think about her singing on the bridge and the way she just let herself go. What I feel towards her is one I have never felt before. And I don't know if I like this feeling of caring so much for one person that the person is all you could think about. But, I know that she is different in a good way that I never want to let her go. I never want to see her experience what she had. I want her to feel like she belongs in this world because she does. She makes the whole world shine with her quirky way of seeing things.

I stop my train of thought when I hear something in the kitchen. I go downstairs to see Archer sitting at the table with a piece of paper in her hand. She looks as if she was going to cry. She notices me standing, and starts walking to me. When she is almost an inch from my face she whispers staring directly in my eyes " So you weren't kidding about the reasons huh?"

I gulp at the closeness and try to show that I wasn't flustered and say back, " Why would I be joking about something that's about you?"

Rolling her eyes she takes a step back " Way to ruin the mood" she says, laughing and elbowing me in the stomach.

I release a breath that I wasn't aware of that I was holding, and say back " Well, you know me, I just care about a girl who's to good for me not to like."

" You better watch what you say, because I might take it the wrong way, loverboy" She says as she jumps up onto the counter to sit on with her legs criss crossed.

" And what way is that exactly?" I walk over to her and stand in front of her with my hands by her thighs leaning in slightly so we were a few inches apart.

" A way that sounds like you," she leans in she her lips were by my ear " confessing your love to me" she lightly blows into my ear.

I step back quickly but trip over the kitchen table and fall onto the ground. She is laughing so hard that I can see tears start to well up in her light grey eyes that I have grown to lo- LIKE. She jumps off of the counter and offers her hand for me to get up. I take it and pull her on the ground with my as well. I turn us over so that I am on top of her. " You don't like it so much now do you?" I say as I stare at her laughing.

"No, I like it more, cutie~" she says winking up at me.

"Whatever" I saw embarrassed as I get off of her and help her up.

"So what are you doing still up and about?" She grabs my shoulders and brushes off the dust on me.

"Just thinking about things?" I grab her hands to make her stop.

"Just ... Don't stay up too late, it's already 3 and you need sleep." She says quickly as she pulls her hands away from me.

"Ok, so you can go back to sleep now. Are you sure you don't want the bedroom?" I ask as I am staring her walk towards the couch.

" Truthfully, I don't feel comfortable sleeping in a room by myself, but the living room is fine." She covers herself like a burrito with the blanket.

"I can sleep with you if you want." I realize what it sounds like and add quickly "not like that, but be in the same room as you"

She giggles and says " if you really don't mind, I want you to be in the same bed, if you are not to uncomfortable?"

"That's fine by me" I smile and walk towards her and carry her over to the bed while she is still wrapped up in the blanket.

She blushes, but doesn't say anything. I can tell that she is still exhausted. When I place her on the bed, she curls up in a ball again and closes her eyes. She whispers a quiet goodnight and is pulled into slumber.

I smile and lay on the farthest side of the bed so that I don't make her uncomfortable. I grab my phone from the nightstand and call  someone for a favor tommorow, and they said yes.

I know that I am starting to develop feelings for her, but I don't want to burden her with more things she had to worry about. I look over at the girl laying next to me, and I am happy that it was her that finally noticed me.

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An: hey guys, I am so happy to be back! So I decided to pick up this story again because I have so many ideas on the development on this. I also want to thank the guys that still read this.

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