Raison D'être
(n.) A reason for existing
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Archer has been through a lot. Struggling with depression, and a voice in her head that just won't go away, she is driven to the edge of suicide. As she is almost successful, a...
I had snuck out of the house. I need to think and I couldn't do it in a stuffy room. I left a note in case Matt decided that to wake up. I grabbed the keys to the house and left. I had already been in this neighborhood many times, so I know the way to the park. But, this time I just spaced out and let my feet led me wherever. I thought about my parents and the situation that was going to occur if they ever saw me somehow.
They probably still won't care that is almost committed suicide. I even gave them hints that I was depressed and suicidal, but they never paid attention to the signs. Now at school I will be called an attention whore. I have always made sure I was never noticed at school, so I sat in the back of the class, never spoke unless the teacher made me. Even when I was called, no one cared, they were to busy with their life to pay attention in class, just like me. So I thought no one will miss me, no one will notice that empty seat in the back, that the teacher never said my name for attendance, or for anything.
When I come back to reality, I am by the bridge. It was 12:00 so no one was here. Why do I always end up where I started. I sit on the ledge, letting my feet hang over the edge where the water was. I remembered to at least bring my iPod. I started playing my crazy playlist. The song that came over the earbuds was Another sad love song by Khalid. I turned it up all the way, so I couldn't hear the outside world, only my emotions that react to the song.
I'm not the best showing my emotions You cut me deep and you left me wide open I fought the demons that lie in between us They'd think we're perfect if they'd ever seen us, but
I started singing the chorus in a deep voice like him.
I guess this sounds like another sad love song I can't get over how it all went wrong But, I let them words come together Then, maybe I'll feel better
Bridges they are burning
I laugh because, well, I'm on a bridge that looks like it is because of the slightly fire like fairy light that were over my head.
Lover, I am worried Tables they are turning Lover, I am hurting
I was now dancing on the ledge and jumped to the sidewalk.
Bridges they are burning Lover, I am worried Tables they are turning Lover, I am hurting
Bridges they are burning Lover, I am worried Tables they are turning Lover, I am hurting
I tap my fingers to the best at the end. When I opened my eyes I saw, unsurprisingly, Matthew staring at me. I decided to tease him, "What? Do you like what you see?"
He lightly blushes and looks at the ground. I start laughing, "I was kidding, what are you doing here anyway?" I asked as I pulled his arm and we were walking back home.
"I couldn't sleep, so this is where I usually walk towards, but saw you here singing and dancing?" He says, while lightly bumping shoulders.
Now it was my turn to blush "whatever, at least it was only you who was out here."
"You have a beautiful voice and you dance well" he said looking at me, trying to catch my attention.
I starting laughing "You probably heard something else, because I am horrible at singing and dancing." Finally looking at him, I knew he was serious about the compliment
"Let's go home, and try to get some sleep ok? It's like 1:15"
I was shocked because I haven't even noticed I was out that long. "OK, lead the way captain"
He laughed, "let's go peasant"
I roll my eyes and follow him, "ok, but don't call me peasant ever again."
"Whatever the lady wishes, it shall be granted" he said, stopping and bowing in front of me.
I shoved him lightly and told him to hurry up already.
I am in to deep, and I am not sure I want a way out.
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An: have a good night/day everyone , hoped you enjoyed this chapter. Love you guys 💙
