Rasion D'tre (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 14

Matt's Pov

Why did am I doing this? Why do I have to feel this way?

For the past hour and a half, these two questions have passed through his head multiple times and during that time, he has been trying to find an answer.

Trying to remember where this all came from.

Trying desperately to cage up these feelings back in where they had escaped.

To say that Matt was bad with emotions was an understatement. He didn't like them, made him feel... Well normal. He had been called a freak, a monster, his whole life that he decided to just let to give in. He trained himself not to feel anything. He became a machine, and he lived with it for a while, and he liked that. Not being able to relate to people when necessary, not having any emotional connections and worrying about the other person.

The only person he had opened up to, just a little, was Anthony. He was always there for him, and the other way round. They were like brothers. They grew up together, and always protected each other.

He was quite happy with how his life was going.

Until a girl on the bridge

His world basically went belly-up from there.

The feelings he always hid away from everyone, slowly began to surface. He felt things that he swore he would never do again. Especially, not after ...

He shook the thought away, and continued to let his mind wander. He didn't want this, but it was to good to let go again. He forgot how feelings worked and he loved the mystery behind it.

He lifted his hand up to the ceiling, as if it held the answers to the questions he struggled with. Trying to reach out and touch what he desperately wants to hold onto. Sanity.

One thing to also understand about Matt was that his feelings, to say the least, enveloped his whole being. If he felt sad, he would go into a spiral of suffocating depression. Sometimes it take days, even weeks to get that out of his system. If he felt happy, he felt as though he could take on the world. Though not as you are thinking. Like he could physically take on the world, in a fight. This is one of the worst emotions he feels like. The feeling of ecstasy, flowing in and out of your small body feeling like it can't hold onto it anymore. He thought it was unbelievable.

This was a new feeling, a feeling he hoped he would never have to feel again after the incident with Amber. It took forever to get over her, but even then he never truly did. That was around the time he cut off all feelings.

This girl just intrudes into his life and makes him feel. This feeling, right now he just lets the feeling fall over him. His fingers tingle at the warmth inside his body. He closes his eyes and sighs. He is so content with life, like he is on cloud nine. And he honestly doesn't want this to go away, at least not yet.

The girl who was mental unstable as well, looks like they were made for each other.

Archer was like candy given to a sugar addict. They couldn't get enough of the feeling that he was given when he was with her. He felt his body start heating up more and more as he thought of her.

Her shoulder length hair. Her brown eyes that seems to change color with her emotions. Her walk when she got nervous. The way her face lit up when they went to see the stars. Her smile. Oh God her smile. He could go on about what he felt.

He needed to calm down. He know where this would lead, and he didn't know of he wanted to go there yet. He let the feeling overwhelm him, cause he know that he would have to bottle them up again. He did.

But there was a small crack in that bottle.
 

An: sorry if this is super short, I promise I'll find more time to write.