Rasion D'tre (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 4

Archer's POV

"Please, stop" an all too familiar voice said

I couldn't look behind me, the embarrassment was to much. How can you look at anyone you have a crush on and just confessed it? I pull my foot back, but still stand on the ledge. He could tell that I was listening, so he continued.

"I'll forget the world I know, but I won't forget you" said Matthew

I said quietly, but where he can still hear me "Why?"

He got on the ledge and stood next to me. Looking at the water below. What he said next shocked me.

"Because I care to much about you to let you does this to yourself."

I finally look at him, we meet eyes. There was a silence, and it wasn't uncomfortable. He turns towards me with his hand out- stretched.

"I know you want to leave this place, but please don't, I read your letter."

I almost jumped them and there. I felt my cheeks heat up. Why did he have to bring it up. But like I said in the letter, his response matters.

"What is your response then?" I ask as I gingerly take his hand, but now I am starting at the ledge.

He has one finger under my chin gingerly, making me look him the eyes that I have grown to love.

"Please give me time to think about it, but you will never hear the reason if you kill yourself. Even if you don't see it, a lot of people care about you."

I jump off the ledge to the road, it was early so no one was there. I started to walk away from him. While I was walking, I was laughing softly, who would care about a broken, suicidal, ugly person like myself. I didn't even hear the foot steps from behind me until I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder.

"Hey, why did you leave me?"

I was laughing hysterical, this is the side I didn't want anyone to see, " your real funny you know? People caring about me, what a joke!"

His eyes looked sad "what about your family?"

I could feel my eyes... turn red? That's a new one. "My so called family, you know what they did? They tortured me, I was unloved even though I tried to be noticed. They turned their backs on me, just because I was never what they wanted. They loved my sister and my brother, they bought anything they wanted and loved them. I had to work my ass off just for them to acknowledge me. My sister did try to care for me, but she eventually got tired of my issues and ignored me." I was yelling, finally getting the demons that are inside of me out.

He still looked sad, but for some reason not fazed with my eye color change. "What about friends, your girlfriend?"

I feel myself slowly getting sadder, my shoulders getting hunched. My eyes finally a grey colors with a blue ring around the outside. "My friends left me because I was to quiet, and never good enough. They cared at first, but I could see us drifting apart, and I let it happen. For my, now ex, girlfriend, I knew that I didn't really love her. I know I am a terrible person for leading her on, but I couldn't because she was my friend. I just hope that she is ok and will find someone who will truly love her, unlike me."

I was on the edge of crying, but I held it back because I didn't want to make Matthew uncomfortable.

He must of sensed it because I was suddenly pulled into a tight hug. I slowly hugged him back, unsure what to do. My head in his neck, I start crying, and it gets worse. Now I was bawling my eyes out.

"You know, I really care about you, even though you may not see it, you are a nice person that has a kind heart. You deserve to be happy and loved. I know that I come off as an asshole because it seems as though I hate you, but I really don't. Please give me a chance to show you what you will miss, and I will give you thirty reasons to not leave." He said in the softest voice, and you can tell that he meant every word he said.

And in this moment, just for a second, I was glad he was there to stop me.

❤️An: I am so sorry that it took me that long to update. There was some stuff going on and I wasn't able to write. I hoped that you enjoyed it. Please comment if you have a question about the story, or just comment in general. Well, have a good day or whatever it is in your country. 💖