Rasion D'tre (SLOW UPDATES)

Chapter 13

No one's POV

The door opened to reveal the two figures. The girl walked into the house, face not really seen, but heated from todays events. Her back towards the boy, who locked the door to their house. He felt something rise inside his chest as he thought of one day calling something their own one day.

She walked to the bedroom they shared and took of the sweater and jeans, changing into one of the boys t-shirts and her pajama shorts. He waited in the kitchen looking at the list on the fridge. He finds the courage to grab it and add a new reason on it. He smiles as he finishes writing and puts it back on the fridge. She walks into the kitchen and looks at him. There aren't really words exchanged between the two but you could feel a kind of tension between them. They were not sure what it was yet, but it was there.

They both must have realized how much time has passed and how much time they may have left together. About a week and a half has passed, though it feels as they have spent a lifetime with each other, with how they have gotten close in that span of time.

Her stomach started to twist in nervousness at the thought at maybe never being able to see him again. The wall that she had spent her life building, is slowly crumbing because of the man in front of her, staring with a glint in his eyes. She wasn't sure what it was just yet, though deep down she knew what it was.
She pushed that feeling deep down, to were it may never be accessed again. But, she loved that feeling, when she looked at him, the feeling of butterflies in her stomach, the yearning for his touch on her skin, the lips of his on her body. She longed for him, and she wasn't sure how long she could hold back and wait for any longer. She has waited since they were together for the first time in middle school till they were in college, now living together for, if only a month, by her mind and by chance.

He has always wondered what life would be like with her there. If he was able to convince her to stay. He wanted to hold her on more ways than one. He has never felt this way towards anyone before. It felt like a beast inside him was rocking the cage and wants to break free. He has had dreams where they were in the bed, her body covered in marks, back exposed, the cover over her thighs. He would trace the curve of her back, seeing her shiver and would kiss the marks that would decorate her back with red and purple. He reinforced the chains on the cage and pushed back down in the hole where he has kept it since middle school.

They both looked away and went about their way to the room they shared. He changed into some shorts and got into the bed. She could see his bare chest exposed. His milky white skin, his tan hair making his emerald eyes stand out. He stared at her for a while then turned his back to her. She could see a scar that run from one side across his back going vertically. She doesn't ask about because she has more then him, none of them made by her though. Some words were exchanged and both pulled into the dark abyss called sleep.

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It wasn't exactly morning or midnight either. Though it was dark, you could still see. She couldn't go back to sleep, not after that nightmare. She knew that she was getting worse and worse everyday. She headed downstairs to get water and some scissors. Archer had been burning up for the last few days, but she didn't mind, for she was always like this. She had gauze, ace bandages, and hydrogen peroxide. While she cleaned her new scars she looked around the house, memorizing everything inside. She was hit with a wave of sadness that went as fast as it came. She noticed that lately. Whenever she tried to feel anything, it would just disappear, as if she had already felt enough and didn't want to go through that experience again.

She felt like she was just being dragged around by the hair, like life just like to fuck with her. She wanted to feel something, anything that made her human. She need to know that she was human. Her mind immediately thought to Matt. She felt that feeling again, of something grabbing her stomach and twisting it. This feeling didn't go away like last time, it stayed. She smiled, shaking her head, her eyes landing on the fridge. She read the list that had been completed thus far.

30 reasons to live
1. It's not worth the regret, even if you failed, left scars or a broken heart, even me feeling like I haven't done enough for you.

2.  Listening to your incredibly loud music and dancing to it with passion

3. Sitting on the edge of the bridge with me and enjoying the scenery.

4. You finally getting the chance to stargaze

5.  The ability to laugh out loud and not care what others think.

6. Proving the people that doubted you and seeing the look on their faces.

7. I'll always be there for you, no matter what.

8. Taking pictures. I know you wanted a camera to preserve memories, you can't do that when you are gone.

9. Finding your soulmate. I know that you don't believe in this, but I believe in soulmates, you should to.

10. People care about you, even of you don't believe it.

She could see some things were erased, and tried to see what was put by holding it up to the light. She saw that there were letters, bit couldn't make it out. She smiled and the list, she had thought he was kidding about it, just said something to get her off of the bridge. She didn't know that he would actually do it.

There was a little ray of hope, shining in her. That ray being there because of someone who she has been seeing and has known since middle school. They both were in college, their junior year. She knew she was out of her mind when she started taking pictures of him in class, walking home, and some in the house. She truly tried to stop, but there was something in her that knew they would never meet and to just fuck it. That voice overpowered her moral, more logical side. So she continued, to that point where they finally meet. On the bridge. She finally got ahold of herself. She knew that because of him, she want going crazy anymore, she knew she was depending to much on him, but sometimes in life you have to say ...

Screw it.

An: Hoped you liked this chapter. Please vote and comment! I am also thinking of making a new book, it will be one shots based off of music so please, music recommendations are helpful. I am off on summer break, so I updates may be more frequent.