A Guard's life

New messages!

A/N:

A little more cheery in my opinion, but well, can't help myself with the darker elements ^^
I hope you enjoy!

Edit:
ANOTHER CHAPTER BETA'D BY THE WONDERFULLY AMAZING AsiawasiaPL, WHO I CANNOT THANK ENOUGH FOR THIS!
BIT BY BIT THEY FIGHT THROUGH THIS MESS, SO ONCE PEOPLE RETURN TO THIS (seriously, some people claim to do that- w h y ?) IT WON'T BURN OUT THEIR EYES SO MUCH ANYMORE!
IT'S GREAT WORK AND I'LL ALWAYS BE GRATEFUL, THANK YOU!

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"MIKE, MIKE! Guess what Phoney forgot to do today!" Excited Vincent jumped at the guard, who was bored beyond belief due to the lack of customers today. Why make a big deal of the arrival of the Toy-Animatronics? They were the same as the old ones, just some stupid glitter sprayed on top.
Mike almost felt relieved having something to worry about.
It might have been interesting to stare at the newly activated Toy-Animatronics, for the first hour or so, but it got old fairly quickly. They acted just as random as their older counterparts.
"What? Did he forgot to renew your contract? Spoiler; that was fucking intentional."
"No, what are you talking about?! He forgot to close away the recordings! We could record some messages for the future night guard!"
"You mean, we could tell him to save his own life and leave?"
"If you're boring... we could troll him!"
"That would literally kill the shit out of him."
"EXACTLY!"
Slightly uneasy Mike turned away from the cold-hearted co-worker. "No. But we could still make it "funny", whatever your definition of fun is."
They entered the office, the tapes were scattered on the table. All were signed with the current day. Curious both activated them and listened to the hundred of euphemism and lies that PG spewed.
"Yeah, you're right, we should fucking correct that shit. The new guy would be dead in the first five minutes."
"Good thing we're here, eh?" He winked at his companion and inserted the tapes back into the recording device.
"Can't we just talk over this shit?"
"Maybe... let's try it out!"
"Alright, press start... now!" Mike shortly coughed and started talking. "Hey there, idiot who takes a job for minimum wage! I'm your fucking guide. Everything in this restaurant is trying to kill you, including the fucking fan on your desk. But they can't get through the doors, so..."
"Mikey, the doors aren't functional since the renovations."
"ARE THEY CRAZY?! DUDE, RUN OR YOU'RE DEAD!"
"Don't worry, your old pal got another idea... next to the fact that the doors to outside are always locked, from said OUTSIDE. You just need something sharp and cut yourself! They'll run away as soon as they smell blood."
"What? Why? And why do you know that?"
"Oh... you know, I cut myself quite often on the robot parts while repairing them and they always freak out about that."
Skeptical Mike gave him a short glance, but moved on.
"You've heard my assistant here-"
"Assistant?! Excuse me?! This was my idea!"
"- you can just go ahead and- wait, how do they stuff people into suits, if they can't handle smelling blood?!"
"That's a completely different story."
"NO! NO, no, nope, don't listen to this fuckhead, don't cut yourself! Knowing him, it will probably lure them right to your location!"
"I'm not that mean! By the way, you could always use the mask in your office to hide from them. They only scan your face."
"WHAT? WHY DID I NEVER GET ONE BEFORE?"
"Phoney secretly thinks you're a dick and wants you to die."
"THIS FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT-"
"Woah, calm yourself! I was only joking, the mask was newly made to deal with the lack of doors."
"I actually hate you, Vincent."
"Ah, you know I love you ten times more. He's my loving boyfriend and we're-"
"DON'T LISTEN TO HIM. He's trying to distract you and getting you killed! By now, you might want to check on Foxy, since he's a huge cunt and always attacks when ignored."
"Your torch would probably help keeping him at bay. Or taking your clothes off. As long as you flash him, you're in the clear."
"Are you fucking kidding me?!"
"No, he actually made some traumatizing memories, because of all the furries..."
"Oh... right. I remember now."
"If you stay for two more weeks, you'll see that it only gets worse."
"Whatever... are you still alive over there? If yes, you're in the clear! It's the same thing for the next five hours or something."
"Not so fast, kiddo! Did you take care of the music box? If it doesn't get winded up regularly, a demon comes out and cuts off your balls. I've SEEN it. It's not pretty."
"How did you survive that and kept your balls intact? It's obvious you still have them, since YOU'RE FUCKING MOLESTING ME EVERY DAY!"
"Well, can't resist your sexy-"
"SHUT. THE FUCK. UP. Let's continue. So... box... music box. Wind it. Foxy will try to jump in your face, but you've got your torch and for the rest you just keep on the mask. How did PG make five fucking calls, we're already done with every information we could give you."
"You know, he calls probably just because he's lonely."
"FUCK THAT. LISTEN UP, BOI! If the animatronics get you, scream in their face and use a baseball bat to punch them over the head."
"Just tell 'em you know how to strangle toddlers! That will keep them away!"
"WHAT?"
"Hey, I'm just trying to keep someone alive!"
"But, how the fuck!?"
"You wanted to hear how I survived the puppet-man's rising?"
"No- I mean yes! But stop distracting from-"
"So, the whole place was CROWDED. Literally, kids and adults and zombies EVERYWHERE. You can't walk ONE step. The other guard leaves, I think he's on the way to the box to wind it, BUT NO, THAT IDIOT GOES TO TAKE A LEAK. Five minutes later, this cursed music is playing, Phoney freaks out and everyone is confused. I, as the smart guy in the situation, quickly go to the saferoom to get the suit off. Believe me when I say that you don't want to face that thing in a suit that tries to kill you as well."
"The suits are-?"
"So, I'm sneaking along, the first customers start to scream and that idiot that just pissed gets ripped into the air like a fucking Paper Pal and his pants get torn of, as the puppet-"
"THAT'S ENOUGH. THANK YOU FOR SHARING YOUR STORY."
"Aw, I just was getting to the good stuff..."
"NO ONE wants to hear that. Stop."
"Little bitch, can't even take-"
"Did you just call me a bitch, you cocksucking piece of cancer? FIGHT ME!"
"What's wrong with Co-"
"NO. I don't want to hear ONE MORE WORD from you."
"Just because I-"
"You know what we should fucking do? We should punch the living shit out of each other. At least that's what I'd like to fucking do about now."
"Some good old fashioned fist fighting?"
"If I can kill you after I punched you enough."
"Maybe we should stop the recording before one of us commits murder? Evidence?"
"Yeah, that poor guy is probably dead by now. FUCK IT."
They ended the tape and put it back on the table. After that, a staring contest commenced.
"C'mon Mikey, don't look at me like that. Why are you so angry?" Smiling Vincent moved closer, trying to tickle the annoyed guard, who of course kept him at arms length.
"That's just how I am. I don't have to fucking justify myself."
"But you're so moody... are you on your period?" The punch he got was totally worth it.
"One more and I will leave some FUCKING MARKS."
"Oh yes, senpai, mark me~"
Immediately Mike backed off, slightly disturbed. "Stop that. You make me want to skin myself."
Vincent amused grinned and took the next tape.
"Let's tell the new Guy in the second night something about the robots, now that he knows how to AH-AH-AH-AH stayin' alive."
"WHY. WHY did you do that..."
Without reacting to Mike's obvious cringe, Purple Guy got the next tape and popped it into the recorder.
"Heya, survivor! Good that you're alive and well! So, this night I tell you about the animatronics and the way they act. I've known all of them for years now, so you can trust me. Both Bunnies are quick to judge. Don't bring your porn, he will look at you weird the WHOLE NEXT MONTH."
"The fuck are you talking about?"
"The fat bear is actually intelligent and will try sneak as much as possible, so you won't know when he is coming. The fat plastic bear on the other hand is an idiot and attention-seeking, so you'll ALWAYS know he is coming. You won't believe what an arrogant idiot the kid was..."
"What kid?"
"The Chicken only looks terrifying. She can be chased away easily, just scream in her face. Or smack away her cupcake, she's far too focused on keeping her appearance on point. Probably because she has seen what happened to the trashpile, who never cared to look prestige.
"What's actually up with the fucking trashpile? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Well, depends on where you stick your dick."
Short awkward silence followed.
"While we're at the Mangle; just feed it pizza, it will explode. Don't worry about getting in trouble with the management, no one can tell the difference. It gets torn apart by the kids everyday and no one cares, so there should be no big deal about it."
"SO, in case you fucking make it trough this shit and want to come at daytime to sue the management; BE FUCKING CAREFUL. Just because it's day, the place isn't less dangerous. I'll tell you what: Chica once almost fucking gutted me, because she thought I looked at her ass."
"Did you?"
"NO FUCKING WAY! I was trying to read the signature of the company (or whatever it's called) on her lower backside, to find out who I gotta sue for my PTSD. Fucking Afton companies. I would fuck that fucking Afton sideways with a ten inch, acid-laced, spiked telegraph pole."
"What a coincidence! I'm Afton!"
Mike didn't even give a response to this amount of bullshit. "Whatever, so while I was doing NOTHING but reading, she turns around and GOES HAYWIRE. Screaming "Pervert" of the top of her lungs, the whole restaurant watches AS SHE ATTACKS ME. YES, FULL ON ATTACK MODE, TRYING TO BITE MY FUCKING FACE OFF. Vincent had a taser on hand... thanks for that, once again. Even though it's kinda disturbing seeing you handle that thing around kids."
"I've had worse things in my hands around kids, to be frank."
No, it wasn't worth asking, judging by Vincent's giant grin.
"Alright. Freddy is at day mostly depressed and DON'T EVER BOOP HIS NOSE. Just don't. He will screech like a maniac."
"You booped his nose?!" The Purple Guy laughed his ass off. "How old ARE you? Ten?!"
"Shut the fuck up or I'm gonna fucking fill your mouth with whatever I find inside of the trashpile."
"Mike is still a kid inside! Mike is still a kid inside!"
"You were the one who wanted a mouth full of fleshlights. Tough luck."
Once again the slight Psychopath turned back to the recordings. "If you meet Bonnie at daytime, pretend you have his face and place a pizza or something instead on it. IT'S GONNA BE GOOD."
"DON'T! Leave the fucking gay rabbit alone for fucks sake. Next to the fact that you'll be slam-dunked."
"Bonnie has strong arms, I'll admit."
"And you probably think that's attractive." Sarcasm oozed out of the words.
"YES. Just fucking look at those GUNS, BABE!"
"Argh, why the fuck am I even talking with you. Sorry, night guard, you hear of us tomorrow... if you survive and don't quit for some reason."
The tape clicked and was carefully placed back on the table, while Vincent already picked up the next one. "Hey-yo, what's poppin' babe? Still going strong?! Sure hope so! On day three... it's three, right? On day three, we're gonna teach ya about..." Confused he shot Mike a look, who only shrugged. "... Some fun facts about Freddy's! Did you know how we once had a Foxy-Strip-club? Got shut down pretty quickly..."
"The fuck did they expect?! How did they even get the permission to open that in the first place?!"
"Rules of the market; if there's a demand for it, there will be someone who provides... and HELL, there's a demand for it. Moving on from that topic: We had a restaurant full of Doggos! We now have shipped them into different establishments and even have a few here. You'll probably never see them, because they sleep at night, but believe me, they are here."
"Ah, I thought I imagined them. Wait... isn't it unhygienic to have dogs in the same place where you eat your food?"
"Eh, they don't get into the kitchen and the customers love them, even if they bite quite often."
"If it doesn't matter with the robots, it doesn't matter with dogs, right?"
"Guess so... Hey! Did you know that this establishment is a partner and one of the many sponsors of the new medical procedure? The one that keeps people alive with the help of mechanical transmission? It's even in your contract. As long as your body isn't total mush, they will use the operation technique to... how do I put it... "Save your life". Have to admit, it works, but most sprinlocked workers lose their head in the process. And even if your wife and children probably won't recognize you, you at least keep your job at Freddy's!"
"Is that why Phone Guy..." As he opened his mouth, Mike noticed how stupid his question would sound. Of course this was the reason why he had a phone for a head, what else could be the reason, fuckhead?! Quick, think of something less stupid, even if it doesn't make sense! "... Is so relaxed? He already made it through worse?"
"You call his behavior relaxed? Geez, the fuck have YOU been through?"
Mike only shrugged, relieved that his stupidity was once again covered up. After a long stare Vincent turned away and continued his fun facts.
"We here at Freddy's own quite a lot of buildings that aren't used as restaurants! We have underground storage facilities for some of the more dangerous machines and a whole factory..." Snickering he stopped and turned away.
The other Guard only rolled his eyes. "Who the fuck cares about that?"
"Someone is always out there. It's amazing how some people care about such insignificant details. A real weird guy once asked me about how many toes the animatronics have."
"Why...?"
"Why not, I guess? He seemed satisfied with the answer I gave him."
"What did you say? Do you actually know that shit?"
"Nah man, I was making shit up, telling him different numbers between six and three."
They got lost in different thoughts. After a while a quiet ringing made them jump up.
"Oh shit, I think Phoney is here! But don't worry, I'm going to distract him. Finish the recordings and put them back where we found them, so he doesn't get suspicious!" Winking at him Vincent left the room, rushing to find the boss.
Now alone at with the recording, Mike's mind started to spin for no good reason. His hands slowly reached towards his pocket, but he shook his head and simply sat down.
"You know..." he started, his voice empty. "... It's a waste of time to try to solve this place. I've been here for almost two weeks, one of it at the nightshift, the rest at the dayshift. Let me tell you, the co-workers are hell, the robots are hell and even the kids are hell. Everyday I stare at the clock, planning to quit the next time I see the boss. But before I know it it's morning again and I'm getting ready to work. Somehow... I can't leave. This isn't some stupid pity-party, I know it's my own responsibility, yet... Don't you think it's weird? Do you feel the same? Or do you have some other reason to come here everyday? Look at this shitshow... I personally invite you to visit at the day, I'll get you a pizza and a drink for free and then you can see it for yourself. Our boss is a guy with a Phone for a head... and hey, that might not be that weird if it helped him survive whatever happened to him... but that nobody ever seems to care or ask about it is! No one of the staff is... normal. You should see the man who runs the prize corner... terrifying, I tell you. And the customers! Oh, the customers! They look like normal humans, they act like normal humans, but what kind of HUMAN, PARENT TO BE SPECIFIC, would be fine with bringing their kid into this place?! EVERYONE knows of the countless incidents with the animatronics, how dangerous and aggressive they are! EVERYONE KNOWS THAT CHILDREN DISAPPEAR AROUND HERE! And yet... we all come back here. Even I feel somewhat attached. I mean, don't get me wrong, I hate this place, with the same intensity as everything else in my life, however... I get so... giddy when I'm away. As if there's a mighty importance in being here and I'm wasting time being anywhere else."
Suddenly it clicked in Mike's head how insane he sounded.
"Well, I guess that is what being a lonely asshole turns you into. You project your loneliness onto your fucking job. Forget I said anything. Good luck surviving."
Just as he tried to place the tape back in it's rightful place, the door swung open and an infuriated PG entered, dragging the defeated purple Guard behind him.
"MIKE SCHMIDT! WHY? WHY DO YOU LISTEN TO VINCENT!? DIDN'T WE HAVE A TALK ABOUT THAT?"
"The fuck are you screaming about? We were bored, alright? At least we didn't screw with the robots!"
"Oh, yeah, great, you didn't do the thing that would get you fired! GOOD JOB, slow clap! I thought you were a stronger person than that, Mike!"
Vincent weighed in. "Just because you choose fun over boredom, doesn't mean you're weak, it's just means you have a brain. Like you obviously don't do."
"I have an efficient chip in my Phone that is probably even better than a brain!"
"No, what are you talking about?! You can't remember shit, you can't realize shit, you're just really stupid Phoney!"
"ENOUGH. I don't have to let my employees insult me! Mike! Get out of my sight. Go home and get wasted for all I care. Tomorrow I expect you to have reflected on your faults and assist me THE WHOLE DAY. I won't let you out of my sight."
Mike hated this unfair punishment.
"Come on, man! That's fucked up! All I did was record some messages! We even taught him how to survive, better then you ever do!"
"Well, Employee, did you ever considered that EVERYONE can hear these messages? For example, THE POLICE? With that amount of evidence you probably spewed, we could get shut down in days! For Christ sake, you never spend three minutes to just think, do you?!"
Silenced and ridiculed Mike looked away. "Why should I care if Freddy's stays open or not..."
"Because if I go to prison, you're all going to join me."
Purple Guy grinned bemused. "Oho, Phoney is getting feisty! I like it! I feel the fear running down my spine! Please no, oh great Phone Guy, don't send us to jail!"
"Just. Get. Out."
A small bit of guilt nagged on the back of Mike's brain, but he refrained from trying to talk to the poor man, who was shaking with rage. If Mike knew anything, then it was rage and that it would only get worse, no matter what he said.
As his guilt-lacking partner tried to follow him, he was yanked back by his jacket. One could feel the tension in the room.
"Are you happy with your new... plaything? Or are you planning on getting rid of him as soon as he starts to question you?"
"Can't complain..." He chuckled. "At least there's nothing BAD happening right now, so be thankful. Honestly! I need to give you praise! It's going great for all of us! The kitchen is almost legal, the robots are almost legal, no more mutant rats, no more salad bars to smash. What are some yiffing controversies and some toddlers almost drowning in a ball pit for a big deal anyway? This place has a real chance to sustain itself and that's all because of your care and effort. Really, I'm proud of you! We have a real chance now!"
Phone Guy blinked, unsure if this was reality. Since when did the Aubergine Guy have a serious side? And gave compliments to HIM?
There was no hint of sarcasm in Vincent's eyes. He really was proud.
Since when did this man want for the chain to stay alive?
It had something to do with this cursed orange man. His memory was fuzzy, but he only needed to reread his notes from the different establishments to see how weird the psycho acted compared to his life before.
Keep yourself together! He still needed to punish Vincent.
"I-if that's so... uh... You... You have to rework the Toys. Make sure their face-recognition doesn't glitch and they won't attack customers. Polish them! The great reveal is supposed to be PERFECT. This is your punishment for the extra work I now have to do!"
"Why are you making a big deal out of years old robots and act as if they're all new and advanced, even though you only shipped them over?"
"Well, the customers don't know them. The greatest innovations were already multiple years old and stolen from other people."
"Fine, fine, Imma get them so shiny, the customers go blind!"
"NO."
"Fucking hell, Phoney, I was kidding."
"Leave now. I have to check how much you ruined."
Moody, the aubergine colored man strolled to the show room, where he programmed the animatronics to spend the most time. As expected they were chattering with each other, going quiet once he closed in.
It was always a surprise how good the dead could remember.
"Get over here; you need to look pretty for the kiddens!"
The machines growled, but came slowly closer. Toy-Foxy twitched. Silently Vincent cursed, hoping this wouldn't end the same way as usual. "C'mon Foxy, my favorite gal, you just got repaired... and the last three times it didn't end up well for you now, did it?"
Shortly the Fox stopped, but then it screeched and jumped. With a swift movement, Vincent stepped aside, letting it crash and started to wreck it with his handy-dandy-crowbar. It was only a matter of seconds until the robot turned into a useless pile.
"And here we go again... Phoney is gonna be pissed." Dismissively he shot the other animatronics a glance. "Who's next?"
They had turned silent and didn't move anymore.
"Good. Now come closer, I'm doing you a favor with this. You'll LOVE it, I promise!" Grinning he started polishing them, knowing that his words reminded them of their last living day.
It's in a secret room... You'll LOVE it, I promise!
Once he was finished with all of them, he entered the backroom.
There was one robot he hadn't activated for the test run, WITH Phoney's approval.
Well, that untypical mercy of his boss had run thin and now he would relive that daily struggle of being slightly worried for his testicles.
Inside the room, next to the unmoving suits, laid the box, covered in chains. Of course it was ridiculous to do that, a simple padlock would have been enough, but he could appreciate the dramatic appearance.
Carefully he unwrapped the gift and carried it into the prize corner, the most central place in the restaurant, so they could rush over and wind it up whenever necessary.
That and the fact that he still hoped that the puppet would one day just castrate the freaky Matt.
After he oiled the music-mechanism and started it up, he opened the box and picked the small creature up that was hidden inside.
Slightly he chuckled at how helpless and fragile the monster seemed, unconscious in his arms. It almost reminded him that it was once a kid itself.
Without hesitation he started to polish this most dangerous entity as well, cleaning him from dust, mucus and blood that had stained his body after the Phone hid one of the bodies inside the box. It took almost ten minutes, but it was worth it, the thing looked almost child friendly again.
One last time he wound up the box and cleaned the box as well, before placing the being back into it.
It was getting dark; the newly hired guard should come soon. He shortly wondered what kind of guy it would be and if he would survive.
But that probably didn't matter and he would never know. With a final satisfied sigh he turned to leave.
William Afton. Aren't you an unlucky fellow?
He stopped dead in his tracks. The music box was fully wound, how was this possible?!
I rested for quite some time after our last unfortunate meeting. The energy to talk I have to spare.
"Then you should rather use the energy to think! Last time you SUCKED at stopping me and Old Sport!"
I didn't prepare for him of all people to turn on us.
"... Turn...? Ah, it doesn't matter! You can't do shit against me! Come back to threaten me, once you learn how to leave your box."
Oh, when I manage to escape this prison, I will not even consider threatening you, as it would obviously only waste time for both of us, precious time I prefer to spend celebrating. No, I will simply kill you. I am looking forward to that day, William.
"I would say I look forward to that day too, but it would be as if I said that I look forward to the day that I have a nice chat with Santa Clause and that won't ever happen. Keep trying though, it would be boring if I wouldn't have someone to make fun of!"
Your arrogance will be your downfall, if desire for ownership over a certain person will not get you first. We WILL have our happiest day. And we will make you pay afterwards for a long time...
"Wish you all the best! Have fun killing the night guard, Imma get some shuteye. See ya tomorrow!"
Finally he exited the restaurant and breathed in the cold night air.
It was nice having the puppet back around, even if he was quite the nuisance. There was just something inherently entertaining about seeing something struggle in a hopeless situation.
It reminded him of his childhood, where he drowned the neighbor's cat in a large bucket. Whenever it managed to get a hold of the sides he simply nudged it back in, until it just... sunk.
Fondly he smiled at his peaceful childhood days.
While he didn't have someone to share the game with until he met Henry at the University for Mechanical Science, he still had been a very happy kid.
Now Henry was gone though.
Softly Vincent bit his lip, trying to not drag himself down. Old Sport was out there, somewhere and would meet up with him soon.
If he knew one thing, then that Old Sport would always come back.

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A/N:
JEEEESUS Christ. I'm getting the feeling that I'm shit at what I'm doing. I can't feel anything while writing this. Please tell me if I'm paranoid or should rewrite it. ;-;
So, more ominous shit, the official introduction of the puppet and maybe some entertainment? Hopefully??
Is it obvious I have no idea about University? Do I have to change the "name", or is it fine to call it like that?
God damn it, I need some sleep.
Really, thank you for spending your time with this. Have a nice day!