A Guard's life

Payback

A/N:

I used the chorus of "Join the party" from JT Machinima, because, hey! It works and sounds cute. Perfect for the Fredbear and Friends show, at least in my opinion ^^
AND FINALLY A BIT OLD SPORT, HOLY SHIT!

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It was the morning after Halloween and Jeremy felt great! Of course, it was mourn-worthy that the day of costumes and ghosts was over, but on the bright side, he wouldn't need to be afraid to get tricked anymore. He admired Mike and Vincent for their creativity and endurance for their pranks, but it would really exhaust him to always be prepared for a trick.
Humming he activated the TV and prepared his breakfast, to be ready when the first notes of the Fredbear and Friends theme song started.
Naturally, he sang along.
"I'll be your friend, right 'till the end! Join the party! Don't be afraid, we'll find a way! Join the paaarty! Follow the pack, we'll have a blast! Join the party! I'm here for you, we'll make it through! JOIN THE PAAAAAAAARTY!"
In the past, his best mornings were spent in front of the TV, at about six AM on a weekend. The sound was always on one of the lowest settings since he would get in trouble with his parents if he got caught, but still, he was able to catch every little sentence.
Thinking about it, the best mornings were still spent like that, except that he was allowed to have a normal amount of volume.
Jeremy couldn't stop humming and smiling, as he saw the most adorable versions of the animatronics interact and play. The great part of his new life was most certainly that, even after turning the TV off, he could still spend all day with the lovable machines!
A little bitter he thought of his father and his assessment that Jeremy would never be able to get hired in anything needing talent or endurance. On the other hand, there was no need to remind himself of it, his father's predictions had always been wrong. Jeremy had his own place, a job and awesome co-workers, who acted like one big family! It wasn't the best paid of all places, but it was the best place overall. Freddy's was so... alive! Whenever he entered he felt like it was HIS birthday and everyone in the establishment came to celebrate with him.
It was magical! He had sworn to never change his job and even if he changed from night to day shift, it still was the right place for him. Silently he admired Mike and Mr. Phone Guy, because of their bravery to face the glitching machines and yet still not holding it against them. That was the way everyone should be! Open minded and kind like them!
Excited the brown-haired boy stared at the clock, ready and set to finally go to work. Just in five minutes... four minutes...
Three...
Two...
One...
GOOOOOOOOO!
Trying not to rush too much he walked down the streets, happily greeting the different people passing him. They greeted back with a smile, having a good time.
Who would have known he would find this great place out in a world that was described to him as cruel? This world was a paradise!
Phone Guy nodded to him as he opened the back door for him, already used to see him run up about an hour too early.
Happy he skipped into the main hall. Mike would come at about one, resting from his nightshift, so he had the whole area to himself!
As he rushed to the stage, ready to greet the Toy-Animatronics, he noticed that the old ones were out as well, now fully back in function.
Could this day get any better?! Despite LOVING the cute Toy-Animatronics, his favorites were still the classics. They were a bit cuddlier.
Stopping in his tracks, he decided to greet them first, respect for the elder and all that.
"Hello, Chica! You look good today! I'm so happy your mouth is back to normal!"
It was his ritual to talk with the animatronics and even though he already knew all the answer the robots could give, his topic of course not being on the list, he still appreciated their effort.
"Why, thank you, Jeremy! I'm also happy to be back to normal..." She leaned in. "...between us, never start an eating contest with me. I'm competitive." Snickering she raised back to her full height.
Jeremy's brain had fried in disbelieve. "Y-you can talk?!"
Confused the chicken shrugged. "Yes, Jeremy, I was talking for quite a while with you, you know? Didn't you hear me?"
"No... you- I mean, yes, but you always said the same!"
"Huh, weird. I could have sworn we had the most pleasant conversations before... but, memories can be weird sometimes, I guess. I have to go now and check the kitchen. Want to come along?"
"N-no, I have to greet the other ones as well!"
"I see." Brightly she smiled and petted him. "Don't let Bonnie sour your mood, he had a bad night."
"I won't! See you later!"
His heart was racing at about fifty beats per second and was the only thing able to convince him that this wasn't the most awesome dream possible, but reality! As fast as he could he jumped over to Freddy and hugged him.
"FREDDY YOU'RE THE BEST!"
Surprised the bear made a weird noise, but it turned into laughter. "Woah, kid, how do I deserve this praise?"
"Just by being ABLE TO TALK TO ME!" Jumping up and down around the bear, he knew the guy might be confused, but still happy.
"Alright, in that case, thank you, you're also the best! It's great to talk with you."
"I have to go and greet Bonnie and Foxy now, see you later!"
Since he wasn't able to find the bunny right away, he first entered pirate cove.
"Foxy?! Are you in there?!"
"Argh, mate, what do ya want at this unholy hour?"
"Marvel at you! It's amazing! Do you know what time it is?!"
The Fox peeked out behind the curtain, rubbing his eyes. "Early enough to sleep. There's no way the kids are already here."
"No, sorry, I just... wanted to see you! It's SO awesome!"
Foxy shook his head, wondering how someone could be this happy on a morning. Tired he watched the Guard retreating, sighed and reentered the shadows of the curtains.
After another search, Jeremy was able to find Bonnie by the cleaning supplies.
"Hey, Bonnie! What's up? I heard you had a bad night..."
"The ceiling, you damn annoyance. And yes, 'bad night' is fitting, thanks."
"Aw, come on, what happened? Maybe I can help!"
"Maybe. Your mechanic, the one who repaired me last night, unironically said that he didn't know if I was a BOY OR A GIRL anymore! Who does he think he is?! I am OBVIOUSLY a boy! GOD, AND HIS HAIR LOOKS EVEN GIRLIER THAN MY FUR!"
"Yes, your voice alone is clue enough! With 'mechanic', do you mean Vincent? He sometimes makes comments, which he doesn't mean to be rude, but end up sounding wrong. Don't mind him, he is super nice once you get to know him!"
"Maybe nice, but insultingly stupid."
"I'll talk to him, I'm sure he will apologize in no time!" Happy as a human could be, he closed in to hug his friend. Sadly, said friend stopped him and disapproved.
"Kid, could you... stay away? I really don't want your dirt all over my fur, it is hell to clean it back out. Nothing personal, I'm just a no-hug-zone."
Slightly disappointed Jeremy nodded. "Alright then, I will look for Vincent now, see you!"
His mood of course instantly got back to excitement, since he was now in a restaurant full of amazing things. If he would wake up now, he would actually consider going back to sleep, because this dream is amazing!
In the show area he found Vincent, grinning just as much as him, sipping on a soda.
"M- Vincent, Vincent! They talk! THEY TALK!"
"Yes, right?! At least the old ones. I would kiss myself if I could, this was great work!"
"You did that?! HOW? This is magical! They are real! Real personalities! They just answered, without any break or bug! YOU ARE SO AWESOME!"
Vincent wasn't expecting the powerful hug he received and pretended to suffocate to escape. "You know that's just how some people are born; Awesome."
"Does Mr. Phone Guy already know of this?!"
Satisfied like a fat cat, Vincent signed towards the stage, where the Phone-head was intensely talking to Freddy. Without hesitation Jeremy rushed over, catching the last bits of the conversation.
"Please Freddy; tell no one the Tamagotchi story! I would probably be drop-kicked by even more toddlers..."
"MR. PHONE GUY! FREDDY!" The small guy sprinted in and jumped between them, glowing from joy. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY THAT EVER EXISTED!"
Freddy laughed his usual warm, deep laughter and Phone Guy only shook his head. To him, the problems that could arise with talking animatronics were obvious. Bonnie, for example, was a pain in the behind for a while, always whining about his missing face, despite that not being part of his word program.
Next to possible insulting, radicalizing and secret-trading that could ensue.
But the small Jeremy was happy, so to heck with his worries. He did not allow himself enough fun.
Hyperactive the boy swayed from one side to the other and giggled, his whole face glowing out of sheer love for the situation.
Vincent strolled over. "So, boss, what do you say? Give the Toys the same treatment, or keep it special for the favorites?"
The Phone Guy considered his options and shook his head. "Keep it for now to the original crew, I am worried about the animatronics fighting."
"But Mr. Phone Guy, how could they ever fight with someone? They are far too nice to do something like that!"
"Well, Jeremy... it's... complicated." The Phone felt most certainly not paid enough to explain the problems with individuality and free will. Thankfully the young Guard was by now gone once again, following the more sensible Freddy, who had noticed the tension between the older Guards.
They stood back, watching him running in circles around the bear, so small and fragile; he might as well be just another kid that visited the place every day.
Coldness trickled down Phoney's neck. There was something foul here and he wasn't strong enough for the repeating dance between his and Vincent's wit.
"Why? Why did you do this? For what purpose?"
The Purple Guard simply snickered. "What cha talking about Phoney? Isn't this great? With this we most certainly out-compete Candy's and will get more media attention than before!"
"You never do anything that doesn't promise you entertainment."
"Maybe your happiness is entertaining enough?" He winked at the boss, who felt as if he needed to throw up.
"There's something going on here and I'm not stupid enough to ignore it. I ask you once more: What do you gain from this?"
Shortly the psycho paused, thinking, followed by the biggest smile. "Well, I got to know that this works. If you want to make the perfect plan, you better test your ideas first, right?"
"I knew it."
"You knew what?! WHAT is it that you KNOW?" Gripping him by his collar, the man leaned uncomfortable close, smiling angry. "You're an IDIOT, Phoney! You never understood ANYTHING! But fuck, even if you'd understand it, you wouldn't remember it! WHAT DO YOU KNOW?! TELL ME! THAT I WANT TO BETTER THE ANIMATRONICS?!"
He threw his "superior" back, laughing whole-heartedly. "You know I like you Phoney~ But never DARE to say to my face that you know ANYTHING! Ya don't even know when it's time to NOT meddle with other's affairs. For the living fuck, you don't even know how your kids look like! AND STILL BELIEVE THEIR YOURS!"
"T-they... I k-know that!"
"Nothing about you is real, but you feign ignorance. YOU know NOTHING!"
Phone Guy couldn't help but stare. Of course the things Vincent was using against him weren't a surprise, but his mood was absolutely dangerous.
Suddenly he started shivering as a realization seeped into his mind.
Vincent was bored.
Why he knew that wasn't clear to him, but it was an undeniable truth. It felt like a drowned memory of an old nightmare.
S-so, the Guard was bored, and? Why should he bother? What was the worst that could happen?
As their eyes met, Vincent's frown twisted.
"Ah, apparently you only needed a little reminder. Who knows, if you're lucky you might make it through this gig alive! But maybe don't sell anyone off this time? Your last version was terrifyingly bad at sting-operations." And just like that the mood made a 180° turn and the guy made a pirouette, laughing and giggling, pretending as if their previous talk never existed. "If you're impressed with my little upgrade to the speech, you absolutely LOVE my surprise! I can't WAIT to show all of you! We will open a whole new place! People will flock to us like teenagers to edgy music!"
Phone Guy couldn't say anything and only watched him leave towards his co-worker.
Sometimes he asked himself if there was more than one person inside Vincent.
In this moment he missed Mike with every inch of his being. He needed someone to curse and he wasn't in the position to do so. Quickly he slipped into the office and started playing with his cord, nervous.
Should he call him?
He was most likely sleeping and would kill him for waking him up.
But right now he couldn't even control his own breath.
He needed him right here and now.
His twitching fingers took three attempts, but finally, he got the right number. The signal beeped once, twice and... call accepted.
"H-hello? Hello, Mike?"
"What the literal fuck do you think you're doing you piece of shit, it's fucking five hours too early to fuck with me, if you have no fucking good reason for this fucking shit, I'm going to fuck you up, you fucking fuck."
Already he felt calmer.
"Y-yeah I know, I just..." Now he noticed that he didn't even have a good excuse ready. "... Used the wrong number?"
"—I'm there in fifteen minutes. Make your fucking testimony."
The call ended and PG couldn't help but smile. Whenever Mike was in the general vicinity he felt safer.
The happy feeling was soured as he considered that it might be because Mike was able to distract Vincent at the cost of his sanity. Guilt dripped out of every pore he had.
He would find a way to make it up to him... and not only by letting him cuss unpunished.
After ten minutes hiding in the office, he heard the doors being slammed open.
"HEEEEEEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEE'S MIKEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY! WHERE IS THE FUCKING PHONE?!"
Checking on the cameras he found out that he might have spoken too soon. Mike stood in the middle of the entrance, wielding a baseball bat. Why does he have such a thing?
Foxy sprinted out of the cove towards the annoyed employee, screaming from the top of his metal speaker as well. "MIIIIIIIIIIIIIKE! IT'S YOU! MIKE, MIKE, MIKE! BE PART OF MY CREW! YOU CAN'T PRETEND TO NOT UNDERSTAND ME ANYMORE! I KNOW I WAS UPGRADED!
"FUCK OFF, YOU PIRATE PIMPLE, I DON'T TALK TO HALLUCINATIONS! I HAVE BETTER FUCKING THINGS TO DO!"
Jeremy and Vincent who were attracted by the amount of noise watched, one scared, one impressed, how Mike actually swung his bat at the head of the machine. Luckily though for both of them, the fox was too far away.
With a face of betrayal, the pirate stopped. "B-but Mike! Mikey mate! You would be perfect! C'mon, please? I was told you said you were my human-mirror?"
"Well, maybe, but I DON'T FUCKING KILL PEOPLE!"
"What... are you talking about?"
Completely enraged again the guy turned away from him. "RIGHT! MY FIRST KILL! GET OUT HERE PG! YOUR END IS HERE!"
Vincent started cheering without warning. "WOOOOOOOOAH, GET HIM! TIME TO KILL THE LAME-O! IMMA HELP! CATCH!" With that he threw a Taser over, but Mike only deflected it.
"I KNOW WHAT FUCKING KIND OF WEAPON I WANT TO USE, YOU USELESS FUCK! IF I WANTED TO USE A TASER, I WOULD FUCKING GET ONE FROM THE SHITTY PRIZE CORNER!"
This didn't offend Vincent in the slightest. "I WILL BUY ALL YOUR MERCH!"
"KILL YOURSELF, YOU IMBECILE!"
Finally, the victim stepped in, slightly nervous. "H-hey, how about we-"
An intense war cry ripped the air, as Mike rushed over, his baseball bat ready to attack. At this point even the Phone noticed that he made a bad choice.
"FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING PHOOOOOOOOOOOONE! I CAN AND WILL END YOU!"
Panicking he dodged the first hit and began to run away. "Please, Mike, we can talk about this!"
"I'M DONE WITH TALKING! YOU CAN THREATEN MY LIFE; YOU CAN THREATEN MY SANITY, BUT DON'T YOU EVER COME NEAR MY SLEEP CYCLE! YOU WILL SUFFER FOR THIS!"
"M-Mike, you d-don't know what you're doing!"
Still running in fear, the manager threw tables and chairs between them, trying everything to slow him down, but the former night guard didn't even bother avoiding them, only crashing right through them.
As quickly as possible both bystanders tried to follow, both undeniable... interested in the development of this fight.
"WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO YOU FUCK-PHONE?! WITH WHAT COULD YOU POSSIBLY JUSTIFY THIS KIND OF CRUELTY?! FUCK YOU!"
"W-WELL, H-HOW DO YOU JUSTIFY T-TRYING TO KILL ME RIGHT NOW?!"
"LIKE EVERY-FUCKING-ONE ELSE IN THIS SHITTY RESTAURANT! NOT AT ALL!" The bat crashed down and destroyed the table next to the tripping man. "STAY STILL, I CAN'T BE FUCKING ASKED TO AIM THIS SHIT!"
Now the poor Jeremy had seen enough. "Please, Mike! Stop!" He ran over, grabbing his co-workers arm. "Y-you start to scare me! Please don't hurt anyone!"
At the beginning of Mike's movement, it appeared as if he was preparing to bash Jeremy's head for touching him, yet the Guard abruptly stopped and lowered his whole body. "Go away, Jerry. Disappear. No one wants you here. Kill yourself."
Despite there being no fire behind these words, the boy still had a hurt expression. It brought Mike to the rand of his fragile sanity.
"S-shit, Jerry, are you... I... I didn't... I..." Clawing into his face the Guard growled, as his face contorted into a grimace of rage. "I... I fucking hate you! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU! FUCK OFF!" Once again he raised his weapon at the kid.
Sadly Jeremy smiled. "Don't worry, I know you don't mean it. You had a nightmare, didn't you? Happened to me all the time at home. It's fine, I'm here to listen." He opened his arms, showing off his vulnerability.
A shiver ran through his opponent, as he struggled to slowly lower the bat. "Y-you... you idiot. I really hate you and yet here you stand. What would you have done if I had ignored you and bashed the Phone's head in? Or better, if I would be bashing your head right now? Fucking nothing, because you have no clue about protecting yourself from anything. In your mind, this whole fucking place is probably all rainbow and candy. Would it even go into your shitty little head if something was murdering you? Your existence is a joke. Someone as stupid and naive as you isn't allowed to exist. You will die. And if I have to do it myself. It would be fun for me, because I know you would make all kinds of excuse for me. You're aren't even worth to talk to. You will vanish. And I will laugh about it. Yes, I will sit here and laugh. Because you're a waste of air and attention."
The relieved smile that planted itself on the other one's face as the bat lowered had turned into terror.
But Mike felt only his lips part for the disgusting smile he was so used to show. Why should he care? This THING wasn't worth his time.
That's right, a thing. Don't even humanize it, it could start to stick to you like poison.
And once it started sticking, getting it off would hurt even more.
Kind people had a tendency to disappear. Either because they couldn't keep up the façade anymore, or because they broke under his temper. Whatever came first.
Vincent whistled impressed. "Geez, Mike, teach ME how to charm people! You're great at making friends!"
Finally, the Phone Guy managed to stand up, sad and guilty. The times he fricked up were probably in the thousands by now.
The worst was the split second he caught Mike's glance. There wasn't any anger inside anymore, the only thing left was pain.
He looked like the loneliest person on earth.
A memory flashed up in his mind.
He had thought these exact words before.
And had failed. Terribly failed, simply left and it ended badly.
Or something like that? These memories weren't on his chip.
This was a chance. A chance to redeem himself.
Vincent's hand reached for the shoulder of his co-worker but was abruptly stopped.
A phone-dial met with two white glowing circles.
Not this time. He had learned.
Vincent's smile brightened as he retracted his hands. Walking past him, he softly murmured "Want to keep your scapegoat that badly? Already planning how to sell him off best?" before vanishing into the backroom.
Ignoring these provocations completely, PG softly nudged Mike. "H-hey... Listen, I'm really sorry. Can I make you a coffee or tea?"
It surprised him that the Guard met his eyes. They were empty and exhausted. "Coffee."
Smiling as good as he could, as well as making his body-language as relaxed and friendly as possible, he grabbed Mike's arm and lead him towards the office, signing him to sit in the comfortable, squishy chair.
"We have the supplies for tea and coffee all time ready here, even though it's is rarely used." Shortly he paused, waiting for a response, but didn't get one. "I apologize, employee. It was stupid of me to wake you up after a hard shift."
"Stop. Just FUCKING stop!"
"Stop what?"
"STOP PRETENDING AS IF EVERYTHING IS ALRIGHT! BE ANGRY! REACT LIKE A NORMAL FUCKING HUMAN! IS YOUR HEAD JUST AS GLITCHY AS THE REST OF THE FUCKING TECHNIC? I WAS TRYING TO KILL YOU! IF JEREMY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THERE, I MIGHT HAVE ACTUALLY DONE IT! SPEAKING OF JEREMY, I JUST HURT HIM FOR FUN! I'M A PSYCHO!"
Out of nowhere, Phone Guy started laughing. An honest, bright laugh. "Wow, admittedly I was really worried for a minute, but now... Mike, if you were a psycho, you wouldn't act this way. Screaming at me in hopes of getting me to punish you? Saying your insults are only for fun, while you're shivering? No, you're not in any way, shape or form a psychopath. And to answer your question, I work perfectly fine. Mike, you remind me a lot of the robots. You aren't at fault."
"YES I FUCKING AM! AND SO ARE THEY! I COULD SNAP AT ANY MOMENT! FIRE ME! I AM DANGEROUS!"
"Ha...haha... HAHAHA, you're so weird! Vincent is dangerous! He would do what you had done and afterwards expect me to praise him for his great aim. The robots are more dangerous because they don't care. But you... you are like... electricity. Yes, dangerous as he- heck, if carelessly handled, but I feel MUCH better with you around."
"And now metaphors. You just revoked your right to live, just as everyone who would ever use this shit in a normal fucking talk. I really regret not hitting you."
"It isn't technically a metaphor, since-"
"Shut the fuck up, do I look like I care?"
Still smiling, Phone Guy gave him a mug filled with fresh coffee. "I assume you like it black?"
A dismissive noise was his answer. Waiting for Mike to be distracted by the liquid, he reached out and softly stroked over his head.
Instantly the Guard choked on his drink and coughed like mad. "Y-you fucking asshole, DON'T TOUCH ME!"
Confused PG made a step back. "I'm sorry, I didn't expect you to get scared this easily... but if you don't mind me asking, why do you hate being touched?"
"I don't have to explain myself, fuck off."
"Please Mike, don't be angry, I won't do it again..." Slowly he sat down next to his employee, who moved away immediately. First he was hurt, but it turned into a chuckle of disbelieve as he saw the red ears of his co-worker.
"You're... getting flustered easily? Really? That is your big secret?"
"If you tell anyone, you will be dead."
"Fine, I swear to my metal that I won't ever share this dark secret of yours!"
Tired Mike leaned back into the chair. "This place is insanity. Are you really... joking with me? I tried to kill you! I tried!"
"Stop repeating yourself, I'm the one who makes the recordings. Yes, you did, but in this place you aren't really alone with that." He paused, fearing what his next words might lead to, but deciding that Mike deserved the truth. "You seem to forget that I hire people into almost certain death. Not only with the nightshift, in the dayshift it's sometimes just as dangerous."
"This place is sick."
"Please, I gave my best, alright? It's better than the ones before."
"... Fine. Okay. But... you wouldn't hire a serial killer, would you?"
Slowly the Phone sipped on his own coffee. "No, not if I could prevent it."
"...Tell me, honestly, why did you call me?"
Now it was him who got flustered. "W-well... I just..." Completely embarrassed he hid his face, knowing that Mike would never take him seriously after this. "... I was scared, to say it bland."
He didn't dare peeking at his employee, until the guy started bursting out in laughter.
"What the hell! You're scared and your fist impulse is to call ME? What am I? Your mom?" Finally the Guard smiled and it felt as if the whole room was lighting up. "What freak you are. Getting scared, better call the crazy rage-guy!"
Phone Guy couldn't help but smile a smile of relief. "Yes, the crazy, COMPETENT rage-guy!"
"COMPETENT?!" His laughter became even louder, until he forced himself to calm down, for another sip of coffee. "Get your chip check out, Phone-face. I'm worried!"
They spent a while in silence, enjoying each other's company.
It was almost not worth disturbing it, but Phone Guy had to know.
"Mike, if you don't mind me asking... please tell me... was this attack because of your sickness?"
"What would you do if I said no?" Of course, he had immediately turned all defenses back on.
"Then I would update my tapes and introduction to include not angering you or risking a violent death."
There was no answer, just the quiet sipping. Phone Guy took it as an opportunity to dig deeper. Despite, or maybe because of Mike's previous fit, he felt safe to do so.
"Tell me, Mike, did you ever... kill anyone? By accident?"
"What do you think?"
"If you ask me like that... no. You never killed anyone."
"..."
"But have you ever hurt anyone, Mike?"
"..."
"I wouldn't judge you. Sometimes things like that happen."
"Did you hurt people before, PG? Just because they breathed too loudly next to you? Because they had a weird voice? Because they were a tad too close?"
Did you ever kill a man for telling a bad joke? Did you ever decide that a person deserved to die, just because they weren't respectful enough? Did you ever wonder if the meat you were serving was from dead bodies, but decided it wasn't worth checking out?
Nothing of these came out of his throat. What could he say to be perceived as a peer in the sickness, but still as reliable and trustworthy?
"Yes, Mike. I-" The truth wasn't worth it, but sketchy answers would only lead to more distrust. "Once a customer was incredibly rude, so I took some rat poison and put it on the pizza." This wasn't even too far from the truth, he confidently declared to himself.
It worked, Mike seemed somewhat more relaxed. "Wow, you really did that? Pretty cool, I usually just start screaming."
"Well, dogs who don't bark WILL bite."
"So, I'm the barking one and you're the biting one?" Obviously, this image amused his employee, as he couldn't imagine his boss being in any way dangerous. It was nice having the voice of a weakling, at least sometimes.
Mike stood up, fully stable again. "Fine, I'm going to look after Jere-... I will keep an eye on Vincent and the robots. YES! Vincent, I almost forgot!" His eyes lit slightly up as his memory came back. "You know where you find me."
"Same goes for you, employee! You show the kind of enthusiasm that I want to see!"
"You mean the kind of enthusiasm you have before entering hell?"
"Any kind of enthusiasm is appreciated, to be honest."
They shared a bemused glance and went their merry ways. Mike headed straight for the saferoom and searched through the belongings of his co-worker. After five minutes he found what he was looking for, an unsuspicious lunch box. Shortly he opened it and with a frozen smile he hid multiple small needles inside.
He believed in justice and revenge.
Afterwards, he left the room as normal as possible, worried that his little... "Prank" would be found out too soon. Luckily, the Purple Guard was nowhere to be seen, so he guessed to be safe.
Bored and annoyed once more, he sat in a corner, staring into the, right now, empty restaurant. Jeremy was also not to be found, making him assume that they may have left together. It made him sick to imagine what Vincent might be doing or saying to the boy, but he ignored it, it wasn't his responsibility. Not anymore, not ever again.
The original Freddy closed in, his eyes brightly lit, showing off his baby-blue eyes. Not too out of the ordinary.
Then the beast started talking. Quite weird for the animatronic to start the conversation, but on the other hand, he probably appeared to the broken robot like a lonely child.
Finally, once Mike actually listened, he noticed that he was hallucinating again. The machine was most certainly not supposed to act this way.
"Mike! How do you feel?" Awkwardly the bear tried to begin.
He turned away, hoping that he wouldn't need his pills over this small distraction. Rolling his eyes, he was disappointed about the uncreative way his hallucination acted. For fucks sake, this was not even one step above "nice weather today".
"Why aren't you answering Mike? Are you mad at us? Me? I would like to talk with you about a few things, I beg of you, it's important."
Pissed he glanced at the pestering being. How long would this go on?
"Mike, you claimed that Foxy was a murderer. That really hurt his feelings, especially since he really adores you and sees you as a role model."
This almost broke his defense and even though he kept his mouth shut, a small giggle escaped his throat.
"This is no joke! Foxy is quite bold, yet your opinion means a lot to him. Of course, no one expects an apology from you, even if it would be kind, but would you at least have the courtesy to explain your reasoning behind that statement?"
His mind was getting out of hand. Muttering a silent "fuck everything" to himself, he went outside, hoping that at least the cold wind would motivate reality to return.
It worked, the alley, where the employees-only entrance was located, was as depressing as always. A huge dumpster was squished between the giant walls of two buildings, almost blocking the whole route. The noise of cars regularly swelled into a loud mess, just to die back down and if you were very keen on it, you could even make out quiet bird-singing, far away. The whole atmosphere was reality: Dirty and uninteresting.
It felt similar to waking up from a dream or getting a magic trick explained. The whole restaurant was just a fairly standard business, which had a few robots as lure. There was nothing actually... different. Everything was explainable, either with an unreliable mind or... alright, mostly with his unreliable mind.
His slowly spinning thoughts got interrupted by a voice, sounding weirdly close. Normally there shouldn't be anyone around here, customers didn't care about garbage... and it didn't sound like a voice he recognized.
Carefully he stepped closer, eavesdropping on the monologue.
"And BOOM, the REAL Fredbear appears, glowing in his sprinlocky-glory. Dave, of course, shocked! How can he fight this being made out of dreams and hopes? Lights flicker, Fredbear and Dave turn, confused. THEN SUDDENLY THE STAGE BRIGHTENS UP! DEUS EX MACHINA! My turn! I only grin at Fredbear, the tide had finally turned. I jump down the stage; every possible audience is shocked and amazed. I stroll half the way like a bad boy, then my first sentence. A callback! Standing up straight, revealing my Taser, I say: Oh... shit... WADDUP, DAVEY! We're grinning now as if we were mirror images, as he says: Oh shit, waddup Old Sport! Took you long enough! We nod in total synch and turn towards Fredbear, who feels fear running up his sprinlocks. I confront him with the things I need to get off my chest for YEARS, lowering his defenses, together with Dave of course, but I get the honor to..."
The voice stopped, the guy sounded now less enthusiastic. "No... I... no. Doesn't feel right. I don't want to." He sighed and coughed. "From the beginning! Special day at Freddy's. Hundreds of people everywhere, you almost can't see people only three feet away from you. Dave has a bad day, planning to create a mass-panic, in hopes of getting the situation more interesting. But BAM! Someone bumps into him, but before he can turn, is already leaving. Was that just an orange hand vanishing in the crowd?! Adrenaline will pump through his veins, as he considers turning insane. Yet he follows. Some peeks at orange hair, an orange head, always out of reach. Suddenly, I vanish! As Dave manically tries to find it once more, he sees a little marking on the wall. "It's me!" It will read! He knows it can only be one person in the world. CUT TO HIM SEARCHING! After checking every other room, he will slowly wander into the saferoom, the room of destiny. And... nothing. Only the stupid suits on the floor, as usual. Turning, bitter and hurt, he plans to leave, but then he hears a silent whisper. Why hello there... Davey. The body freezes, he turns once more, to be greeted by the now standing Freddy-suit. Slowly, like a dreamer he steps closer, reaching for the head, rising it from the rest of the body. I smile. It's me! And he stops, keeping burning eye contact. It's really you, he says..."
Now once again the voice turned into a silent murmur and Mike wasn't sure if he hadn't moved because of his whole body cringing, or if he was just too polite for this planet.
"That's... not it. One more time, just one!"
He was MOST CERTAINLY not polite enough to endure that ONE MORE TIME. Fuck, even Christ himself wouldn't have agreed to this kind of torture and begged for the cross at that point. With the utmost determination to interrupt, he stepped around the corner of the dumpster. "Excuse me, but fuck no. It's time to STOP!"
The man hiding behind the voice was a completely orange guy; even his clothing had the same shade. His hair was chaotic and a little fluffy, his eyes were entirely black, except for two glowing dots, resembling the glitching robots. As Mike stepped in on him, he screamed high-pitched and jumped back against the wall, smashing his head in the process.
"WHOOOOOOAH, WHAT THE!" The admittedly unlucky guy held his paining head as he tried to regain his breath. "For Foxy's sake, I thought you were... frick... that would have been anticlimactic... and depressing..." Now fully back to reality, the man shortly inspected him, his smile slowly turning into a weird grin. "Gosh, I was worried, but now I can see that I thankfully DIDN'T got into a... HAIRY SITUATION!"
Mike stared at him in disbelieve and could have sworn that everything else stopped as well. No more cars, no more birds, no more clicking of doors.
Despite that being impossible, it got even worse as the Orange Guy tried to explain himself. "Y-you know...? You're bald, so it could never get hairy...? Come on! I tried my best! I had to improvise!"
"Yeah I fucking get it, it was still shit though."
Insulted the stranger crossed his arms. "At least it wasn't the canyon joke... or the squirrel joke... or the lemon joke..."
"I think I would rather have heard one of them."
"REALLY?! SO, WHY DID THE SQUIRREL-"
"NOOOOOOOOO, SHUT UP! WOULD HAVE! NOW IT'S TOO FUCKING LATE!"
Disappointed the man changed topic. "Fine, I'll stop. Are you one of the guards?"
"No of course not, I only stole a uniform."
"That's so cool! I had to do it once too, it was quite the hassle..."
Was this asshole making fun of him? Angrily he got ready to teach him a thing or two about irony, but the man jumped up as footsteps sounded through the alley. He smiled.
"I guess it's now time to go with the current season and LEAF!" With a wink he put his finger in front of his lips, before disappearing further back into the darkness, the traumatized Guard didn't even try to hunt after him.
The steps belonged to Jeremy, who loyally used the employees-entrance. As he saw Mike, his mouth turned into a smile and he ran the last few steps.
"Mike, Mike, do you feel better?"
The cynical Guard couldn't understand it. "Fuck off; I just wanted some fresh air."
"Really? Well, I want some too!" Glowing happily he came far too close to his co-worker.
"Didn't I say FUCK OFF? Haven't I told you what exactly I'm thinking of you? Do you want me to repeat it?!"
"No... I don't. I've heard you the first time." His sign-face turned serious. "But I've told you one or two things myself, didn't I? People might lash out at someone they perceive as a threat, but that doesn't mean you have to punish them for that, it means to teach them better. I'm no threat to you, Mike!"
There it was again, the godforsaken smile of a being too dumb to exist.
But his anger wasn't there, so why should he fake it?
"Stop talking about me as if I'm some sort of animal."
"I'm not. An animal would be scary, because it wouldn't understand me. You're simply... normal!"
"I think this was the first time ANYONE has ever called ME normal."
"Then it's about time! You are you and you are totally normal for yourself! The trick is to accept "Normal" as an unreachable ideal, not really worth striving for. The way you differ is what makes you... you!"
"Fucking hell, how many stupid feelgood-ads have you seen?"
Pouting the smaller Guard huffed. "It's my own philosophy!"
"It's pretty shit, seeing that you argue for demented, crazy people to simply be accepted with open arms."
"You're not crazy, Mike. Many people who are considered "crazy" by society, are only people who were born and didn't get any help or pressure to change, so they don't know how and how much to control themselves. In my opinion, a person who still cares about others, at least to some degree, isn't sick, but only maybe helpless."
"Wow, now you say I'm incapable to help myself. Your insults are really sneaky..." Suspicious he stared at his companion.
"N-no wait, that wasn't what I meant! You're not what I talking about at all! You're mostly fine, I meant more extreme people than you!"
Without his usual burning hatred, he couldn't bring himself to care and decided to put the dispute to rest. Sooner or later Jeremy would learn the hard way.
"You know what? Alright, fine, I don't care. Where have you been?"
"I took care of a delivery... hey! Mike, have you already spoken with the animatronics?!"
"No, why?"
This was the wrong answer, Jeremy started to scream and jump around, similar to a twelve year old girl, who just met her idol and was now convinced they were married.
"THEY CAN TALK MIKE! REALLY ANSWER AND LISTEN! THEY ARE SO NICE! AND THEY REACT SO REALISTICALLY! IT'S AWESOME!"
"Wait, the robots actually talk? And-" The previous conversation with Freddy popped back into his head. "That means what Freddy said..."
In a burst of violent energy, Mike smashed open the door and ran towards the main area.
"FREDDY FUCKBOY, COME OVER HERE YOU ASS!"
Freddy followed the call, wincing. "Mike, do you have to use such rude words? What did I ever do to you?"
"TRYING TO KILL ME, YOU SHITHEAD! WHAT THE FUCK! FUCKING FUCK! EXPLAIN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW!"
The bear showed obvious irritation. "Please, what are you talking about Mike?"
"DON'T ACT ALL INNOCENT, YOU DO IT EVERY NIGHT!"
Now Bonnie and Chica wandered over as well, attracted by the loud noise.
"What do we do every night? Can't be much, since you always look down our servers... asshole"
"God, Bonnie, language!"
"Why should I care? He's cussing hundred times more!"
"But you're the bigger person!"
"I'm a bunny, so no!"
The insanity of the situation made Mike want to pull out his eyebrows. "Shut up you two! You're all murderers! I BARELY SURVIVED LAST TIME! YOU WERE ALMOST STUFFING ME AND WOULD HAVE WENT THROUGH WITH IT IF THE CLOCK WOULDN'T HAVE SAVED ME!"
"How can a clock safe someone?"
"SHUT. UP. BONNIE."
Chica huffed, offended. "We never did such a thing and that you're saying we did is mean! Next to the point that IF we had tried it, we would have succeeded." Cheeky she smiled at him, obviously trying to challenge him.
"BUT YOU DIDN'T, BECAUSE I'M TOO FUCKING GOOD! IF YOU DON'T EXPLAIN YOURSELF, I'LL HAVE TO FORCE AN ANSWER OUT OF YOU!"
Freddy tried to calm the situation. "Mike, stop screaming, you're scaring me. I swear we have no idea what you mean. Are you sure it was us? Or that it was real?"
"YES, IT FUCKING WAS, I HAVE THREE PEOPLE AND TEN OR MORE TAPES TO PROVE IT!" Today he had already overused his rage and it was exhausting to continue keeping it up. "And even if, what about the bites? The attacks on quote-on-quote perverts?"
Bonnie shrugged. "I'm a no-hug-zone! If someone does that, they can't be surprised to be bitten for it! The doggos can do it too, so why should I control myself?"
"And I HATE people staring at my ass! It's sooo disgusting! Poor Foxy always has to deal with sick fantasies of creeps and I won't stand for it! He sometimes remembers those events and starts to cry! SOMEONE has to stop that, don't you think?"
"YOU'RE KILLING PEOPLE!"
Freddy had enough. "And what is with your fit you had this morning?"
"That- I mean, I'm NOT excusing myself! I'm..."
"You're still here and so are we. How about just accepting it?"
"You are dangerous far more often!"
"If someone provokes us, we take the freedom to defend ourselves. While at it, we never hurt an innocent bystander."
"Excuse you, I see myself, Jerry and the Phone most certainly as innocent bystanders!"
"Well, we never hurt you, did we?"
Chica awkwardly coughed. "Except that one time, but to my defense, I thought you became an employee to harass us."
"But at Night-"
"We're locked down. No power, no moving, no memories."
"You aren't!"
Now Chica tried to be the reasonable one. "Come on, Mike, if we say we can't remember, we can't remember. You have to believe us, or else you won't get any kind of explanation."
Bonnie weighed back in. "Man, I was so excited to finally get a response out of Mike and then he goes crazy. That much to Foxy's "Idol". Not much different to the regular idiots."
"What the fuck did you say?"
Bonnie smirked as good as his face allowed him to. "Well, previously you acted quite reasonable, especially with the customers. I can appreciate anyone who uses "fuck off" at least five times a day... but now I see nothing but a paranoid lunatic, judging us for things we never did."
Boiling, Mike growled and turned, almost crashing into PG.
"Employee, please calm down, the first children will come in now... and I really would like it, if the first thing they hear wouldn't be the F-word or any variation."
"Fucking- alright, fine. But could you fucking tell me a bit about the robots? AND WHY THE FUCK THEY PRETEND TO NOT BE BLOODTHIRSTY MONSTER?"
"Any question regarding the new update needs to be redirected at Vincent."
"There's no way in hell I'm going to speak with him today."
"Hey, at least the Toys are still the same."
"What a fucking relief. If I HAVE to mention it; that was sarcasm."
"Yeah, it's fine, just... no more swearing for the next five minutes? Please?"
"Got it, PG. I'll keep my mouth shut."
Thankful the manager nodded at him and headed for the entrance, giving Mike immediately a hard trial to keep his word, as Bonnie closed in.
"Now, from bunny to man, go and talk to Foxy. He is totally distressed and doesn't even want to talk about it with us. Maybe try to be nice for the first time in your life? Next to the fact, that IF a kid complains, I'm going to pin all the blame on you."
"Maybe he just doesn't want to talk to you, because you're a fu- dick."
"No, I'm certain it's because of you."
It wasn't worth it to continue this fight. "Fine, I'll be right there. Now f- leave."
Annoyed he silently cursed at his weakness. Next thing he would know, he would probably start to agree to entertain fucking toddlers.
Tense the Guard entered through the curtains, trying to spot the dangerous beast in the dark. It took a while, but his eyes adjusted to the dark and he made out a cowering thing in the corner.
It rocked back and forth and finally he could make out the faint sounds of silent weeping, the irregular breath and the slight coughing.
"So, is this how a pirate acts?"
The robot turned around, but his eyes were deactivated; only white spots showed that the thing was active and glitching.
Moaning in pain, the fox slowly rose from his position, twitching madly. His voice box creaked, as he tried to string a sentence together. It tried to come closer, reaching out to the paralyzed man.
"I'm- I'm not- I'm- I'm- I'm no-o-o p-pirate-te-te, I- I- I am n-n-n-no-" Static grew louder and obscured the next few words, but the machine didn't stop. "I-I-I d-do-n't b-belong-ong-ong h-here-e, p-ple-e-e-ease I- m-miss-ss-ss m-y mo-mo-mo-"A screech was audible, as the thing glitched out and tripped to the side.
Nothing moved for a minute or so and Mike tried his best to not move either, scared of triggering the monster.
Suddenly Foxy's eyes lit up and his movement became fluid. "M-my Mike! What are you doing here?" Curious the pirate crocked his head, eyeing him.
"A-are you alright Foxy?" This was all escaping his mouth, after witnessing this... scary glitch.
"Yes, of course, a pirate is always alright! Because a pirate is FREE!" With a giant smile, he perfectly showed off his sharp teeth.
"Didn't seem like it just now..."
"Oh, I only slept, don't worry. My server was locked down, so I won't have any nightmares!"
"Your... server..."
"Too complicated? Don't worry, I don't get it either!" Again he laughed happily. "But your mechanic seemed reliable, so I wouldn't mind too much!"
"Our... mechanic."
"Mike... are you still there?"
Snapping back out of a dark mess, masking as thoughts, he met the artificial glance of his companion. Nothing was there he could say or do, it was all... weird. But finally, he remembered why he entered this part of the restaurant in the first place.
"I... I'm sorry, Foxy. About you being a killer..."
"No, you're right."
"What?! You KNOW?!"
The fox hugged himself, staring intensely at the floor. "I bit the kid too harsh. I've heard it, he died in hospital, didn't he?"
"Wait, what?"
"The others told me that it wasn't all that bad, it happens here every so often... they all do it. You know, the kid was... I didn't... Something startled me..." Swallowing hard, the poor thing met Mike's confused gaze. "In the end you're right, I'm still a murderer."
"No- I mean yes, but that... the kid survived, if I'm not mistaken. Without a frontal lobe, but not dead."
Excited Foxy wagged his tail. "Really?! They told me he was most likely dead! Those are great news!"
Now back to his full height, the Guard noticed how tall the robot actually was. It was odd to make them that big, even though they were supposed to interact with kids...
He continued, breaking Mike's train of thoughts. "In that case... I accept your apology! BUT! Onlyifyouspendtodaywithme, pleasemikebepartofmycrew!"
"What did you say? I didn't understand shit."
"Y-you have to spend today with me!" He stomped with his metal foot, childishly nagging. "You wrongly insulted me and make me feel bad, so that is the least you can do!"
"Put that idea right where it came from! Do I look like I want to waste my day listening to stories for toddlers?!"
"Well, you could tell your own stories too! We could tell them about that one day the queen decided that she needed our help and got us a diamond ship to sail to the end of the world, to return her youth and her one true love!"
"What... what the... Foxy? Are machines able to do drugs?"
"No, we did it shortly after we met and at first you told me about your fear of the ocean and I sang a song about the beauty of the sea and you-"
Thankfully loud screaming interrupted the scene and Mike used it as a reason to escape.
All customers had turned toward the stage-area, where Vincent was shrieking, trying to get things out of the mouth. Needles to be exact.
Mike rushed the distance and pretended to try and calm him, but his quiet murmurs were not exactly friendly. "That's for fucking with my pills, psycho. It's called payback."
Vincent's head snapped up, his eyes devoid of light, only two white dots remained. His teeth showed in a peculiar manner, between laughing and threatening.
"You... you call this payback?" His voice was surprisingly quiet as well, even if he shouldn't care about his audience. "You IDIOT. This isn't payback. You probably never even HEARD how payback should be. But don't worry, you have good ol' Vinny here... I'll SHOW you."
The Guard rose to his full height, smiling widely. "No prank, right? You said payback..."
"I know the difference between prank and attack... just as much as you."
"Hehehe... heheheehehehehee.... Mikey, I admire you. You piece of shit. At least you have the balls to stand to your stupidity."
With that he shoved him to the side, entering the slowly building crowd and disappeared.
Mike showed his teeth as well, but rather to snarl than to smile. This was what the asshole deserved and whatever he was planning on doing now, he would be tortured and threatened with his phobia, until he swore to leave Mike alone.
Shortly the guy checked the clock. 13:30 - This would be a LONG day.

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A/N: I hate myself probably more for breaking off here than you do, but we're at over 8.500 words and I think too long chapters will be hard to read.
Really, sorry, I just wanted to introduce too many things, but still want to give them the spotlight they deserve...
Well, at least this: The robots get their personality and Old Sport appeared! Even though most probably wish he hadn't after this un-punny first act. Also we have more usual Freddy's-insanity.
Should I structure my story more? I write out of my gut, with a basic thought where I want to end up at, but now I feel that my writing style might could confuse my dear reader... ;-;