A Guard's life

Get vaccinated

A/N:
And thus marked the beginning of the long chapters. It's nice to look back on things like this x3
Song above is literally what made me want to write this scenario!
So, as promised, crack and fluff! And the start of PG/Mike! Sure hope you will enjoy it! (and if not tell me why!)

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Jeremy woke up in a good mood, like usual, and made himself some hot chocolate, to get in working mood, which was usual as well. He said goodbye to his Plushies and left, expecting another nice day around nice people and awesome animatronics that didn't try to kill him on sight.
As he opened the doors of the pizzeria, the place was still somber, like usual. No one was to be seen, since Mike would still snooze in a corner, Mr. Phone Guy would be checking on the office and Mr. Miller was normally late.
Most time he would come in with a cool little animal on his arm, or in an impressively good mood, declaring his love for everyone and everything.
Well, sometimes not, but even then he would most definitely not run screaming through the hallway and hide behind Jeremy.
"JEREMY, SAVE ME, THEY WANT TO SHOOT ME!"
And indeed, a gunshot was to be heard and a projectile flew a millimeter past his face making them jump behind a turned table. Vincent started shaking, his face distorted into an expression of pure terror. Never before had Jeremy seen his older co-worker fazed by, let alone scared of something. Almost immediately the feeling infected him, he felt his stomach contort into a lump of led. Now equally terrified, he began to shake as well.
"W-what?! W-why are t-they doing t-that?! S-should we h-hide?!"
"GOSH HECKING DARN IT, EMPLOYEE! I HAD HIM RIGHT ON SIGHT!"
"Fuck, Jerry, can you even have worse timing than that?! For fuck's sake, I almost got him in the neck!"
Mr. Phone Guy and Mike jumped from behind the next corner, war paint and a matching impression on the face. They each carried a large rifle.
"M-Mr. Phoney Guy? C-can you please not s-shoot me and Mr. Miller?"
"Vincent!" It sounded quietly out form the other side of the Pizzeria. How he managed to change position that quickly was a mystery.
"E-excuse me, of course, Mr. Vincent."
"Just Vincent you numbnut, I'm not that crippling old!"
"B-but that feels very unmannered for me!"
Now Mike dropped his weapon and raised an eyebrow. "So why are you calling me only Mike then?"
"B-because I p-prefer not "being kicked in the dick and drenched in the toilet, after that being hung from a fucking tree, until the crows start picking on me." I... imagined that as really unpleasant..."
"Fucking hell, did I actually say that?! Shit... sorry kid, I guess I had a bad day."
"It's fine, it was my fault, I already knew that you didn't like the polite approach."
The normally so uncaring Guard closed in on Jeremy and ruffled his brown curls. "Yeah, but that doesn't really excuse me. WHILE we're at excuses... WHY THE FUCKING FUCK DID YOU FUCK UP MY HIT?"
The youngest one shrieked and jumped back at this sudden mood shift. "P-please Mr- I m-mean Mike, d-don't kill anyone! Mr. Mill- I mean V-vincent surely d-doesn't deserve it!"
"Listen, you don't understand..."
"A-and you c-could go to j-jail! T-that would be bad!"
Sometimes, when Mike couldn't sleep at night, his mind wandered to his co-workers. What exactly happened to create a human-phone-hybrid? What was going on in Vincent's brain? What kept the others to come back to this insanity?
Yet, he felt as if the biggest mystery was Jeremy. Like, c'mon, how could someone this innocent NOT being revealed to be the main antagonist?! This amount of innocent was only needed, if you were hiding something truly dark.
On the other hand, how could you respect a villain that always started to hum along to the Fredbear and Friends theme song? When NO ONE was even in the room?
Probably his nights would be better spend sleeping, than trying to guess insane plot twists that would never happen.
"S-so would you c-consider... putting that g-gun away?"
"Are you alright, employee?"
Snapping back to reality he realized that he had stared at his small companion for about two minutes, without blinking.
"Eh... I... Jerry, we aren't trying to fucking kill him, no matter how much I wish we were, we're trying to hit him with a syringe."
"Why?" Helpless the sign-faced worker looked from his boss to his only friend. Phone Guy finally had mercy and explained the situation.
"Well, the dogs in this place have rabies... among other things... and since it would be easier, cheaper and far more convenient to simply vaccinate the employees instead of the dogs, we're currently doing that. Mike was the first one to get his medicine, afterwards Vincent entered, first grinning, then screaming, even though Mike had informed Vincent of today's schedule..."
Mike had a smug grin on his face and continued. "He didn't believe me, thought I was pranking him and came in... as soon as we got the syringe, the poor fucker started to howl like a scarred dog."
"Vincent isn't allowed to continue to be a hazard! If he get's rabies, he will most likely bite customers out of spite!"
Skeptical Jeremy shook his head. "Why would he ever do that, sir?"
"Who knows?! I gave up on understanding his motives a LONG time ago..." Slightly exhausted the Cyborg reloaded his weapon. "Since you managed to prolong this task by an unforeseeable amount, you will help us get this son of an aubergine. Pick a weapon that suits you, then come along for the hunt!"
Nodding far too enthusiastically, Mike grinned at him and left the hallway, following the Purple Guy.
Slightly concerned Jeremy checked the different options. There was a mini-gun, a Bow, a glove with syringes as claws and a metal chain with a syringe as a make shift hook.
"S-sir... would you mind... uh... explain me why this... wide range of... things... are in this restaurant?"
"Do not worry, employee, it's only... uhm... standard... equipment. You know, just in case... a... case happens. Now hurry, we don't have all day!"
His hands shook already, but he reached for the chain. Phone Guy nodded, grabbed a tiny box filled with paint and drew stripes on Jeremy's face. "Now get going, employee, we are counting on you!"
With a pounding heart, the boy stepped outside and ran into Mike by accident, who was franticly switching places on the doors.
"He's in the fucking vents! What a psycho! It's just a little medicine and if he wouldn't be running around like that, we wouldn't even NEED to fuck him up with guns!"
"So... you're saying this is his fault...?"
"YEAH, KINDA!? I mean, it's just a fucking needle! Chill!" Shortly he paused, considering something. "Well, shouldn't fucking complain, at least I get to shoot at someone."
"S-shooting at someone i-is very bad..."
Phone Guy's arm showed itself with a thumps-up from behind the corridor and interrupted the futile attempt to appeal to Mike's better side. "Get in there, Mike, we got him now!"
"Let's fucking go!" With a grim smile, the irrational man started to climb into the metal vent, his guns by his side. "VINCENT YOU PURPLE FUCK! I'M COMING FOR YOU!"
There was panicked rumble inside the vent, heavy things bumping on metal, echoing sounds that perverted whatever noise the humans made into a distorted growling.
Worried Jeremy hurried back to his boss, who aimed at the metal entrance. "Vincent made a bad decision... but he was always quite a mess, working by himself."
It was unusual to hear the calm and responsible guy that excited and triumphant and it didn't help making Jeremy feel more comfortable. What if they would go crazy?! And couldn't stop? What if the police would just come in and arrest them all? Or if they accidently had the wrong fluid in the syringes? Would they be able to live with murder? Maybe he should-
The sounds out of the vent stopped.
The Guards held their breath, ready for the big reveal. Was Mike victorious?
But then the smoke came. Thick, black smoke, which burned in the eyes and made it hard to breath, left out of the metal gap and before they knew what was going on, two bodies left it, running around and bumping into the Guards outside.
"MIKE?! WHO OF THEM ARE YOU? WHERE SHOULD I SHOOT?"
"DOESN'T MATTER, GET HIM, GET HIM FOR FUCKS SAKE!"
"IF I HIT YOU, YOU MIGHT DIE! IT'S PRETTY HIGH-CONCENTRATED!"
"WHAT?!"
Thirty seconds later the air cleared and left the hunters utterly confused.
"How and why did he have a smoke bomb inside there?"
"I'd be fucked if I know, but from what I've seen he had stored the bomb in there..."
"Just- great. Now he hid again somewhere! Let's spilt up, we need to get this done in an hour!"
"Yeah, but how about we have a short fucking discussion about DYING?!"
"Do not worry, we will not shoot at anybody else with this!"
"I mean, it's kinda fucked up, if you catch my drift..."
"Vincent is fairly resilient and needs the high concentration to even get past his bloodstream... assuming he has blood."
"You know what? Fuck it, I just want to shoot a bitch."
Determined they dashed off into different paths, one left, one right, leaving Jeremy to guard the main hall. Maybe he should have mentioned that he had no idea how to use a weapon, especially this exotic model...
Phone Guy was checking the kitchen and kid's cove, grinding his dial, a feeling akin to grinding your teeth. If he had one dollar for every time Vincent made a scene, he probably could pay his child support, buy himself a house and had enough left to buy this whole establishment as well!
He paid himself not nearly enough to deal with this chaos... but that didn't matter. His payment would come in the sweet satisfaction of having shot and vaccinated Vincent.
Angrily grinning, his Phone-head covered in green and brown stripes, he started to sneak around. For all intent and purpose, he still had a secret weapon in his hand...
A deafening bang sounded through the establishment, from Mike's side. Phone Guy dashed towards it, only to catch the last glance of an epic fight going on.
The Purple Guy swung an AXE against Mike, who was far too close to be able to shot him. Desperately the guy tried to deflect the weapon with the steel part of his gun, but to no avail, the axe crashed in and Mike was thrown on the ground, a red stripe on his upper arm.
Regaining his senses, Phone Guy aimed, yet the psycho had already noticed him and torn his victim back from the ground, to use as a body shield against gun.
"PHONEY! Don't shoot, or you gonna kill our dear Mikey... and do you REALLY want to risk killing him, just to get me poked?"
"If it's just poking to you, then WHY THE H-HECK DO YOU ESCALATE THIS SITUATION THAT MUCH?!"
"Because I don't WANNA get poked, Phoney! Now... I could break Mike's neck-"
"Yeah, as fucking if."
"-or you and Jeremy lay down your guns and get into the middle of the room."
Jeremy complied, his eyes widened with fear. "D-don't hurt Mike, Mr. Vincent! W-we're trying to help you!"
PG acted a little slower, his metaphorical eyes locked onto Vincent's real ones. Without a word he stepped next to his employee, crossing his arms.
"Good... you can go now Mikey, thanks for the help!" Cheery he left the poor man out of his grip, after walking over to both weapons and stomping on them.
"So, now to the more fun part of the day..." His voice faded out as Phone Guy started to laugh like a maniac.
"AHAHAHA, YOU FOOL! I HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE I WANTED YOU! YESTERDAY I PREPARED A SURPRISE FOR YOU!" In an epic movement, he raised his arm towards the ceiling, revealing a small button. The click sounded and Freddy began to glitch around.
"ARE YOU READY FOR HECKING FREDDY AND HIS TOPHAT OF DOOM?!" The mentioned top hat clapped open and a tiny machinegun released itself. It tattered, aimed and locked right onto Vincent, who's grin turned quite nervous.
"Wew, lad, didn't expect ya to pull this kind of trick... I'm impressed, I guess?"
"AS YOU SHOULD BE! I BESTED YOU, PURPLE FIEND! SURRENDER AND YOU MIGHT NOT BE ANNIHILATED!"
"Well... Sorry, but you can't."
"What?! Excuse me?!"
Now Vincent rose to his full height, laughing once again. "BECAUSE I OF COURSE HAVE FORSEEN THIS OCCURRENCE! AND WITH MY INDEED AMAZING TECHNICIAL ABILITIES I HAVE CHANGED THE WEAPON INTO MINE! IF YOU DARE PRESSING THIS WEAPON TO ATTACK ME, YOU AND THIS WHOLE RESTAURANT SHALL BE ASSAULTED WITH AN INSANE AMOUNT OF HOT CHEESE!"
Mike felt his head pounding, this was far too ridiculous. "Why cheese?"
"WHY NOT?!"
"You don't have to scream, we're in the same fucking room."
Now Phone Guy was laughing AGAIN, pointing at his foe. "I SEE YOUR TRICKERY FRIEND, BUT YOU UNDERESTIMATED MY GENIUS! I FORTOLD THIS EVENT AND SEEN YOUR FUTILE ATTEMPS AT CREATING AN ESCAPE OUT OF MY TRAP. I SAY FUTILE, BECAUSE THIS IS YOUR LAST UNHEALTHY DAY, MY EMPLOYEE AND NEMESIS! INSTEAD OF REPARING THE SYSTEM, I CHOOSE TO FOOL YOU ONCE AGAIN AND PREPARE TWO OTHER ESPECIALLY SECRET SECRET-WEAPONS!"
One more time he pressed another button and out of the party hats on the table helicopter blades extended themselves and as they started to fly towards the scene, a large syringe on a mechanical arm folded itself out of the bottom.
Jeremy was amazed in every sense of the word. Even though it was highly likely that he was only dreaming and this was reenacting some of the anime he finished last night, it still felt real and was by extend as if he was in the show he loved so much. He wasn't entirely sure which side to root for though...
His annoyed friend seemed sick of the dream and left towards the background, middle finger raised. No one cared, the fight began.
"NOW FREDDY FAZBEAR; THE TIME HAS COME TO SHOW OUR TRUE POWER!"
"PARTY HATS DO MY BIDING AND FULLFILL YOUR PURPOSE!"
In a flash the hats flyed forwards, but the cheese-gun was fast as well, forcing them to doge and try again. They were two, yet the gun was faster and without the need to change place, it had the advantage.
One of the hats was hit and slowed by the thick layer of cheese; a second hit brought it down, gluing the blades together. It screeched all the way to the ground and tried to hit the mechanical bear on it's way, failing and crashing in front of the stage.
The other hat had come close though and Vincent fought it of manually, fending it off with a large metal pipe as if he was carrying a rapier. The automatic gun was unable to do anything, as it was programmed to NOT hit the purple Guard and tried it's best to find a point where it could only aim for the enemy.
Slowly but surely the advanced drone pushed Vincent back, but then his eyes lit up and he made a roll backwards, leaving a considerable amount of space between himself and the attacker. Immediately his machine gun began to fire and the drone hadn't even the opportunity to doge on this close range. It was fired into the ground, drowning in a layer of bubbling cheese.
Vincent cackled like a true Villain and turned around slowly. His shadow was enormous, through the stage light enhanced and seemed appropriately terrifying.
"Now, now, look who is the winner... "Surrender and you might not be annihilated"? Well, I'm not that kind of guy, sorry. FREDDY! AIM AND LOCK ONTO THE PHONE! PHONEY, PREPARE FOR THIRD DEGREE BURNS AND A SMELL THAT'LL NEVER LEAVE YOU CLOTHING! I'VE WON THIS BATTLE AND THE WHOLE WAR!"
This. This would be Jeremy's big scene. Fate might has foretold the event, but not even fate could grasp the FULL POWER OF FRIENDSHIP! It was time to save the life of the man, who saved his before with his wise mentoring. Jeremy felt his muscles tense up as he prepared his jump, fully aware of the consequences, but ready for it anyway. The time felt as in slow motion, the tophat-gun turned AND -
BANG, BANG, BANG, BANG!
They all jumped at this sudden amount of loud noise and the perpetrator was quickly made out; Mike, holding another gun, stood in the doorframe of the backroom, darkly grinning.
Four syringes had buried themselves into Vincent's back, who at first didn't seem to be able to process the happenings, just to start scream in terror from the top of his lungs.
"GET THEM OUT GET THEM OUT, OH GOD THEY STUNG ME, I'M GOING TO DIE THEYINFECTEDMEI'MSTUNGTHEYHAVESTUNGMETHEY'LLLAYEGGSI'MDEADI'MDEADGETTHEMOUTGETTHEMOUTPLEASEDEARGODIFEELTHEMINJECTINGME"
Mike laughed whole heartedly. "C'mon it's just a prank, bro! Just some medicine!" Amused he watched his co-worker, snickering, until their eyes met.
Vincent wasn't acting.
Vincent was hallucinating.
His whole body rushed cold as he recognized the shudders and the twitching.
"IDON'TWANTTOCHANGEIDON'TWANTTOENDIDIDN'TDOWHATHESAIDDON'TPLEASEDON'TLETTHEMLAYEGGSINME"
Jeremy was already next to him, carefully tugging the empty syringes out of the purple skin.
"Uhm... Mr. Phone Guy, excuse me... but uh... didn't you say more than one syringe w-would be d-deadly...?"
The literal metal-head only shrugged. "He is going to be fine. If it would be that easy to get rid of him, I wouldn't have wasted all my time."
The shooter watched them, feeling far more distant than the space between them would dictate. Silently he wondered if everything had conspired to cheat him out of the personal feel of achievement. Who would have thought that even shooting an asshole could feel bad?
Feels, feels, feels. Get your shit together Mike, the asshat deserved it and now just shut up and feel good for yourself once.
To distract himself form the continuous screaming, he wandered off to pet a doggo and actual found one that appeared quite friendly.
After a while the screaming stopped and he and his new four-legged friend reentered the stage area to check on what happened. To his giant surprise Vincent was knocked out on the floor and PG and Jeremy were ARGUING.
What a time to be alive.
"This! T-this is NOT ethical! He was c-clearly in pain! We NEED to call an ambulance!"
"Employee, as I told you before, these little blows do absolutely NOTHING harmful to Vincent. For Foxy's sake he SURVIVED MUCH WORSE! HE WAS CRUZIFIED ONCE, GOSH HECKING DARN!"
"S-SOMEONE TRIED TO CRUZIFY HIM?! THAT T-TERRIBLE! WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?!"
At this point the voice of the curly haired employee was shrill and filled with unneeded panic.
"BECAUSE VINCENT IS THE MOST OBNOXIOUS AND DANGEROUS MAN IN THIS WHOLE ESTABLISHMENT, MAYBE EVEN IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY! AND HE JUST DOESN'T DIE!"
The poor doggo started to wince at their loud voices and wandered between their feet, as if to protect them from each other.
"JUST BECAUSE SOMEONE DOESN'T DIE AND IS A DANGER, IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE HUMAN AND KIND TOWARDS HIM! MAYBE THERE IS A REASON FOR HIM TO BE DANGEROUS AND WE COULD HELP AND STOP HIM PEACEFULLY!"
"THE LAST TIME SOMEONE OFFERED HIM A SNACK, HE CHOSE TO POISION HIM! AND WE STILL DON'T KNOW FREAKING WHY! HE HIMSELF SAID IT WAS JUST FOR FUN! HE IS SICK JEREMY, DEADLY SICK!"
"EVERY SICKNESS CAN BE TREATED! IN THE LAST CENTURY, SOME DOCTORS THOUGH MENTAL DISORDERS WERE A DEATH SENTENCE! THAT CHANGED, DIDN'T IT?!"
Mike never had seen people fight like that in his life before. It was... fascinating. They weren't screaming at each other, their voices didn't sound all that angry, no rather they sounded panicked and helpless, screaming only because it felt right to scream. Even their body language was all wrong, their arms just wobbeled around whenever they tried to make a point.
The doggo was now barking hysterically as well, moving quickly between their feet.
"WELL, SOME THINGS ARE STILL A DEATH SENTENCE! SHOW ME ONE PERSON WHO LIVES A HAPPY LIFE, WHILE HAVING-"
It probably was an accident, but Jeremy made a step forward, forward on the body of the poor doggo. He didn't lower his weight on top of him, but for the nervous pet it was already enough to turn around and lower his fangs into soft flesh.
With an astounding speed, the Phone Guy grabbed the little beast, protecting the not-yet-vaccinated employee from the dangerous bite.
He flung the dog away, not violent, but into a good distance, then held his hand, out of which blood started to ooze. The dog had already disappeared back into one of the party rooms.
"Boss, are you alright? Didn't expect the small fucker to go off the rails like that, geez..."
"Oh no, I'm sorry Mr. Phone Guy, sir! You are bleeding, wait, let me get the bandages a-and something to clean the wound..."
The Phone only chuckled, clenching his hand tightly. "Oh, oh no, Jeremy, no need, I'm fine, perfectly fine, I just have to-"
The alarm clock on his wrist went off. "Shoot! Now we have to hurry, the restaurant needs to be opened in ten minutes... uh... give Ronaldo the starting signal and open the doors, I and Mike will get Vincent to a resting place."
Almost as serious as a messenger that brought news of the last battle the young Guard nodded and ran as quickly as possible towards the kitchen.
Both of the more mature Guards lifted the personified chaos up, not exactly gently, and carried him towards the saferoom. Not the first place Mike would like to see after waking up, but honestly, Vincent DID deserve some of it.
Most of it.
PG sends him worried glances. "You don't start now to defend him as well, do you? Trust me, you granted him a FAR more gentle injection than justice itself would have."
"Nah, don't be worried, after he filled my whole suit with itching powder yesterday, he gets no mercy from me."
The boss accidently dropped the unconscious body. "HE DID WHAT?"
"Yeah, right? As if we're in like 5th grade or something. Stupid, childish and not a prank at all."
"What, what, wait, sorry, EXCUSE me, would be so kind, just in case, to repeat yourself?"
"Couldn't believe it either, I thought he lied to me and his prank would be to get me trouble with you. Itching powder, for fuck's sake! I was rubbing myself inside of the suit against the wall, but it only got worse. Even after my bath I still itched!"
"You... you did... so you... you want to tell me..."
"Care about picking Vincent back up? We might actually kill him, if he lies on the dirty floor like that."
As if in a dream, PG lifted the man again, still clearly staring at Mike.
"You... so you... didn't feel... slight discomfort? You know, no metal pieces in your... skin?"
"What, that can happen? Sounds pretty painful. I thought that would only happen if you get forcefully stuffed?"
"Didn't... you didn't listened to the tapes, did you?"
"C'mon, don't give me a lecture about that crap... it can't be that important! I know how to deal with suits! You use some fucking logic!"
The manager of madness only starred at him for quite some time and shook his head slowly. "I get the feeling that you're... quite the anomaly. Even for Fazbear's."
"Are you insulting me?" Distrustful Mike inspected him.
"No, honestly, I am amazed and a little worried." He sighed and started to move again. "But let's ignore the worries of a paranoiac, shall we?"
Following the invitation to change topic, Mike got his next nagging thought off his chest. If he felt the need to compliment someone it would force itself out between his teeth and sound really weird, so it was easier to just get it over with.
"It's really cool of you to save Jeremy like that."
"Well, naturally!" Flattered the Phone turned his head a little. "Since he wasn't vaccinated it would be quite stupid of me to just let him get bitten."
"Yeah, but you weren't vaccinated too and still risked it, just to keep Jeremy out of trouble. I'm... kinda impressed."
They've reached the backroom and carefully lowered Vincent onto one of the old mattresses. Silently they stood next to each other, staring down.
"So, you... uh... are sure I didn't vaccinate myself?"
"What kind of question is that? Of fucking course I'm sure, we did it like twenty minutes ago!"
"Alright then... explains why I can't feel my hands anymore."
Mike frowned. "Are you okay? Should we call an ambulance?"
"NO! No, no, no need! I... haha... have a Phone for a head! What could make me sick? I'm probably unsickable!"
"You... might want to sit down. Right now you're spewing nonsense."
"To be fair, when do I not?! Perfectly fine. P-E-R-F-E-C-T-L-Y. I didn't felt this good in years! Let's open the place, shall we?! For all the stock-photo-kiddens in the world!"
It was a sad attempt at walking.
"Yeah, I'm gonna get the phone now-"
"Rrrrrright here and PERFECTLY fine!"
"-And call a doctor."
"NOOOOOOOO, NO, NOOO, NOOOOOO, NOO, NO!" In a sudden burst of energy Phone Guy flung himself on top of Mike, who was too slow to react. PG's heat was obvious, now that he pressed about eighty percent of his body against his employee. It was really not that comfortable for someone, who's maximum physical contact was patting someone twice, once a week.
"Please, BOSS, control your fucking self! Get off me, you're radiating like a fucking volcano!"
"Bleh, get you contrrrrrol of you-self first! Your mouth is sooooooooooo ffff-f-filthy!"
Maybe it was intended to be a mixture of mocking and scolding, but it really sounded like a drunken child.
The grip of his companion loosened and Mike softly pushed him away. "Sit the fuck down, I'm getting you to a hospital."
"No!" His voice was creaky and filtered, even more so than usual. "Wwwhy! No one needs meeee perfectly fineeee! I c-can wooork. Like a besto!"
"Listen to me, you're gonna DIE if you don't visit a hospital!"
"SO WHAT?! I'm gonna die, I get replaced, I'm going to hospital, I get killed and then replaced!"
"What gave you the impression that you would be killed at a fucking HOSPITAL?"
"Wwwwell... I just know, u kno? I know EVERYTHING! And they'll take mah chip and transfer mah memories to someone healthy and I'll be the ded!"
"That is fucking ridiculous, now let go of my hand!"
Ripping his hand away, the healthy man turned away and headed towards the door, only to be stopped by hysterical sobbing.
"I-I don't wanna die, Mike! I don't want to... I- not again... I h-hated it- I h-hate what I a-am..." Hiccups jumbled his words into even more of a mess.
The former Night Guard turned around, watching his boss hugging himself and shaking. Today was just everyone's bad day appearently.
Slowly he came closer, hesitantly touching the shuddering being, uncomfortable with the idea of being an emotional support, but guilty enough to start petting the terrified guy.
"Fine, I won't call anyone. Just come with me into the office, alright? So I can fix your wounds and keep an eye on Jeremy as well."
The fingers of the sick manager clawed into Mike's shirt, his condition was obviously worsening. Was it really better to let him decide on the ambulance-thing? He probably didn't even knew what they were talking about....
No, don't get weak now. He asked for it and Mike wasn't the type to meddle with anyone's life. If he died because he denied the opportunity of help, then he died by his own choice.
This decision started shake, after he discovered the foam coming out of the receiver. Luckily enough, the office was only three doors away and Jeremy was nowhere to be seen.
"Are you sure..."
"Gimme, gimme, gimme the antibiotics... and soooome... bandages... and sum water..."
Compliant he handed over the requested items out of an oversized medical-aid box that was hidden under the table. After swallowing a variety of pills, the boss slowly sacked into himself and started snoring.
Jesus fucking Christ, now he was supposed to patch him up, right?! Fucking hell, as if he was careful enough to do that!
A check on the cameras revealed that Jeremy was too busy to come in to help though. Customers had already started to pour in and he had to deal with every little whim.
Mike took a deep breath. If the Phone hasn't overdosed already, he was surely drugged enough to not able to feel anything anymore. Might as well give it a shot.
He cleaned the wound with the water, gave some of the antibiotics on the bandages and began to wrap it tightly around the bite. It was impressive what those creatures could still do to flesh, even if they were domesticated over generations.
Now what?
Was he supposed to sit by his site until he woke up?
What would happen if it turned midnight?
Would he have to defend both of them?
That was a kind of responsibility he wasn't ready to face.
Maybe he should get his "patient" onto a bed or relaxing chair and get him in a stable condition, what ever the fuck that meant. Wasn't there something about being able to choke on your own tongue?
Well... either he had no need to worry about that, or he would have no ability to stop that anyway.
Carefully, as to not wake his boss, he lowered the backrest, until it looked remotely comfortable.
Phone Guy's breathe turned stable and relaxed as well, so Mike saw his duty as done, at least for a while. He couldn't help but to be curious now... how did PG's body work? It seemed as if his receiver would replace ear and mouth, while the dial had the ability to catch light and function as his eyes. How did he even get a phone for a head? If what he said in his fever was true, he probably got into an accident that harmed his head and brought him close to death. Made sense to use metal to save his life, but why a phone? Wouldn't almost everything make a better substituted? A screen could show a face a hundred times better and if you wanted to get real precise, the endoskeletons had pretty snazzy heads as well, if you could get used to it.
A small disgusted snicker rose form his throat as he imagined PG with an endoskeleton as head.
Hello, hello employee! Sorry, my left eye is glitching, don't mind it!
Somehow, despite being nothing but a phone, it felt right for his personality. It made him somewhat... likeable. Gave him... character.
Christ on a bicycle, he was going nuts again. Yes, Mike, phones are likeable and have character. Next to the fact, that the "likeable" Guy was a fucking psycho as well, not closing this shitty restaurant despite obvious danger and harming everyone around him just to keep it like that.
How crazy would you need to be to remind someone to RESPECT the monsters that tried to KILL you?!
Yes, Phone Guy was a delusional asshole. No sympathy, no reason to care about him.
Why was he even still here? He should get out there and do something more interesting.
On the door he halted once again, turning slightly to watch his co-worker sleep. It was unusual to see him as calm as he was now, not fiddling with his hands or looking around, nervous.
Step after step Mike returned to the second seat, next to the figure.
Maybe he should at least draw on him, to justify his stay.
Wait, drawing! Pranking!
Didn't he still needed to give Vincent some payback?!
Yesterday he made the perfect plan and bought everything he needed...
One last time he controlled the breath of the unconscious man and after determining that it was safe enough, left once more towards the saferoom.
No one interrupted him, as he carried a large bucket of water and no one watched him getting the towel as well.
About half an hour later, he left satisfied with the results. Of course, the prank would only be successful if Vincent actually MINDED what he had done, but a brother could hope.
"Hey, PG, you awake? Guess what I did to Vincent!"
That were his words, entering the office, planning on lighten the mood of the fevering guy, the only problem was that the office was now fucking EMPTY.
Shit on a biscuit, where and why the fuck did he go?
Slightly worried Mike checked both hallways, without any result, the whole main area, without any result and just as he decided to call his Phone-head to at least get any kind of clue if the delirious man was still in the building, he saw him stumbling out of the bathroom.
"FOR FUCK'S SAKE, WHAT DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?!"
"Not puking onto my keyboard..."
"Shit, wasn't there some kind of trashcan?! You could have broken your fucking neck on the way out here!"
"Please Employee, keep your voice down, I feel an indescribable amount of pain in my receiver and would like to not puke again out of sheer pain."
A tad guilty he tried to keep his volume as low as possible. "Fine, sorry, now get the fuck over here, I'll bring you back to the office."
Carefully he supported Phone Guy by taking his arms around his shoulder and basically carrying him back on the chair. Wait, how can someone with literal metal as body parts be this light?
"How does your body work PG? It's the weirdest thing ever."
"Do you honestly want an explanation? Now?"
"Yes, why not? It's not like there's anything better to do."
"I'm sure you don't actually care, so I give you the shortened version: the metal part of my body is connected, via the electronical nature of nerves. It's all getting hooked up to a..." Tired he reached down the underside of his head. "... it's... somewhat similar to a computer, problem solving and all... but... controlled by my... personality, or soul, or whatever... right here." He raised his head enough to show a keypad, probably for the safety of the chip. Afterwards he gagged. "Do we REALLY have to do that now...? Thinking hurts..."
"Alright, then let's do something that doesn't involve thinking. What's the animatronic you can identify with most?" The question was stupid, yes, there was literally no reason to ask it, no advantage anyone would get from it, but he needed to bring the guy to talk. It was the only way to distract oneself from pain sometimes.
"Freddy. Overworked and underappreciated."
"Heh, c'mon we appreciate you. I mean, Jerry sees you as this mystical mentor and respects you like shit."
"...Jeremy is really sweet. I'm so sorry that I hired him. Normally I try to remind myself that all employees are guilty in one way or another, but with him it's hard."
"What?"
"How is he doing right now? I shouldn't leave him in the middle of a busy day..."
Annoyed Mike pushed him back into the seat, before he even could rise to a quarter.
"Man, if you go out there in you condition, there will probably be a terrible catastrophe. Not on my watch."
Letting himself fall back into the seat, PG laughed. "Speaking of regretting hiring people. You're really... quite the guy yourself. Not what I expected at all. Staying around me, even though I'm sick... thank you."
"Don't get any fucking ideas, I'm just trying to doge work."
"Haha... and asking for favorite animatronic is part of it? I'm not this stupid, Mike and I know how to calm people down."
Embarrassed the Guard growled. "Believe me when I say, I would let you die if it was more convenient for me."
"With that you're showed that you are more sensible and kind-hearted than the other employees in the building. I think half of them would let me die for fun."
"Well, I met worse bosses than you to be entirely honest."
"Wow, your life was sh—crap."
"Shit."
"Crap."
Once again Mike managed to talk himself into a verbal circle. How did that always happen?!
"Don't beat yourself up that much. Despite protecting a franchise that doesn't care about human life, loving murderous machines and using more euphemism then the Nazis... you know what, I stay on my point. You're a fucked up boss, but at least courteous."
"Gee, now I feel better, thanks Mr. Insulting."
"No probs, friend."
"Friend?" Chuckling he raised his body. Mike didn't stop him, since he appeared already much better. Was this an effect of the metal?
"Trying my best to be as respectless as possible."
"I never had any friends... not even pets. Just between us, I'm happy that the doggos were shipped off into different location instead of a shelter."
Mike considered making fun of him, but well, it was hard to make fun of something you had to go through just as much. Yes, they probably shared some equally as unpleasant memories.
As the pause stretched longer and longer, the awkwardness of his boss became clearer. Desperately trying to change topic, he started the next best thing he could think of.
"So... while we're at this... who's your... animatronic?"
Shortly the younger one considered not answering... but that would be unfair, wouldn't it?
"Dunno, I never really care about them too much. If I had to choose, I'd said... Foxy. Just because I also want to bite people in my personal space."
Now Phone Guy was full on snickering.
"Yeah, go ahead and bite me!" He began reaching jokingly out for him, just to burst out into full on laughter as the other one jumped back. "You really remember me of that one cat in my neighborhood. The cat followed me around and sometimes even mewled at me, but whenever I reached over in it's general direction, it bolted away as if I tried to slaughter it."
Sighing he leaned back down once more. "Maybe it followed me around because I looked so weird. Cats are assholes after all."
"Heh, so maybe Candy is my real soul-matronic after all."
"EXCUSE YOU?!" Phone Guy was up in a split second, to Mike's shock. "You better take that back, or I'll fire you for traitorous thoughts!"
"For the love of fuck, it was a joke, why the fuck would I ever feel the actual need to identify with any fucking murder machine?"
This calmed his boss a bit, but he still sat up. "Don't you dare ever mentioning Candy's in this restaurant ever again, or I'll consider strangling you, despite you being quite helpful."
"I can't even find swears for that... wait let me try... cocks and bollocks inside of a toaster roasted by Satan on spikes. Here I was thinking that you were the stable person of the restaurant."
"Whatever gave you that idea?"
"Maybe the fact that you usually talk like you have a stick up your ass."
They locked gaze for a moment and for the first time Mike got the feel that eye contact didn't needed to be solely for threats.
On the other hand, can you call staring at a phone dial really eye contact?
Now he felt weird again. Why did socializing always end this way?
Time to escape. "Do you feel better now? Maybe I should check up on Jeremy... just in case."
"Do not worry; I will come with you."
"Already?"
"Yeah, my body is resilient. Some of the perks when your brain is never in danger."
They left the second safest place of the pizzeria and returned to the main area. The place was humming with activity and the smell of pizza was overwhelming. All in all a quite wholesome scene.
"Now that we are back on track... Employee, get into your suit and perform for the customers."
"WHAT?"
"You heard me."
"You're fucking kidding me, aren't you?"
"It isn't that hard to get rid of itching powder. Do that, but afterwards I want to see you by the stage."
"Fuck you. I wished you killed yourself."
"It isn't that bad for you, stop whining. At least you'll be loved for the first time in your life."
If there hadn't been the small hint of laughter behind those words, then he might actually have been hit by it. Now though he could only laugh, impressed that PG had actually the balls to say something like that.
"Woah, my heart. If you continue, I'll might be the one who needs nursing next time."
"I'll gladly provide. Now get moving."
Before he could follow the request though, the door to parts and services flew open and a distressed Vincent ran out, all his hair had been completely dyed pink.
"Your doing, employee?"
"Yep."
"Nice."
"MIKE, WHAT THE FUCK, THIS IS TOO CRUEL! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO MAINTAIN THIS BEAUTIFUL MANE?"
Satisfied Mike screamed back. "DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO GET ITCHING POWDER OUT OF YOUR CLOTHES?"
"FIEND! I SHALL FUCK YOU UP FOR THIS ONE!"
"JUST TRY LOSER!"
Phone Guy looked from one to another, then only said in a disapproving tone; "This will most certainly not end well for you. But you know that, don't you?"
"Pff, he can't get me. I know much better than that."
The light-hearted mood had vanished and the Phone only turned away. "Well. I sure hope so. Now hurry and get ready, we have a long day in front of us."

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A/N:
Exams are eating away on my life force, so any kind of positivity is greatly appreciated, before I go into my winter-depression. Well, at least the music helps.
Am I doing too much exposition? I really doubt my writing...
Sure hope you enjoyed it! I'll try to have the next chapter as Halloween "special", since it will go great with the whole pranking-affair. Until then, have a great time!