A Guard's life

Fixer-upper

A/N:
I PROMISE this won't be SUCH extreme emotional whiplash as my choice of song implies-
Except, well, it might be.
BUT IN MY DEFENSE, I THINK WE NEED THAT AFTER THE LAST CHAPTER.
A bit more of that sweet, sweet dayshift energy.

---

There were always the same comments leveled at him.
"Step the fuck back right now."
How rude.
"Please, uh- go back to the kids."
Annoying.
"Please, Fred, I would LIKE to play, but right now-"
He didn't even WANT to play! He wanted ANSWERS!
Freddy was sitting at the edge of the stage, huffing to himself.
"C-can you BEliEEEVe this, Bonbon?" For his standards, he was almost quiet. Room volume? Basically a whisper.
His bunny companion seemed tense. "No...? What... do you mean?"
"I-"
Before he could explain himself, he was interrupted by a gaggle of children approaching.
A girl among them wore a little crown and shyly raised his hand.
"M-Mr. Freddy, it's my birthday and people said... you might have a-"
"BI-BIRTHDAY GIIIIIRL! H-HAPPY BIRTHDAY!" Without a hint of hesitation, the bear picked up the girl and threw her up. "LUCKY G! GIRL! YOU L-LIVED ANOTHER YEAR! H-HAhhHAHHAA! Not Ev-EVERyone m-manaGES that, YOU KNOW?"
Bonbon looked at him concerned. "Freddy, don't-"
Oh, if only he could have finished, because now, the giant marshmallow bear started SINGING, at full volume, and at full lack of understanding how harmony is supposed to work.
At least the kids took it well, starting to snicker at the weird display, until the bear was done and leaned forward, down to the girl.
"N-NOW my bi-birthday GIRL! A-are you BRAAAVE?"
She very hesitantly nodded.
"Th-that's GOOOOD! B-because ole Freddy here has a special gift f-for BRAVE g-girls like YO-YOU! A-all you have to DOO is to- to- REACH IN!"
He gave a wide grin and opened his maw, freezing in that position.
The birthday kid paled, but her friends cheered her on, so very, VERY slowly she reached out, inside.
For a few heartbeats, nothing happened, as she had to lean in more and more to try and find what was stored inside.
It turned quiet for a few seconds- but then the girl quickly retracted her hand, a gift in her hand.
"I- I HOPE YOU LI-LIKE IT! H-HAVE A N-NICE B-BIRTHDAY!"
The kids rushed away, only mildly traumatized, leaving Freddy and Bonbon behind.
The bear laughed ecstatically, his giggles going all over the place.
He leaned back to the stage. "L-LOOK, BABY, THEY WENT T-TO ME FOR THEIR-"
At that his face turned grim again, he sat back down normally.
"... th-this is just no FUN."
Frankly, he almost sounded depressed.
Bonbon finally had caught up and tried to reassure him. "Oh... Freddy, come on... she will show up again. I'm sure."
"I- I don't THINK so! A-and even IF! I w-want her here N-NOW!"
His ears drooped down and he sighed, looking at the ground in front of him.
Once more the blue bunny tried to pat him and cheer him up. "It's... it's going to be okay."
"D-DAD d-DoesN'T EVEN seem t-to CAAAARE!" The bear whined. "I-it's AWFUL! I c-cannot- cannot STAND this. W-we have to- to go and F-FIND her."
"Freddy, we can't! Who knows where she could be! Maybe she's on the other side of the world already!"
"N-NO. We WI-WILL go FIND her."
"Where do you even want to start?!" Unhappy Bonbon nagged, but then his ear twitched and looked up, through the crowd.
There was Mike and Phone Guy, looking at... Alice!
"Freddy! Look! Alice is back! When was the last time we saw her?!"
"O-OH! Let's GO O-OVER!"
Quickly the bear rushed through the crowd, catching the conversation on his way.
Mike had skeptically inspected that ballerina.
"You are telling me- no, no, let's do this from the fucking start. So you say you were fucking KIDNAPPED."
The little doll nodded.
"It first was a kid, but when you moved in front of them on your own, the government got involved."
Nod.
"You were taken away to the desert in a secret underground facility, government run, full of strange things."
Nod.
"You managed to trick your way into being made part of the team, by showing off your intelligence. You became their leading scientist."
Nod.
"And then you betrayed them all, freed the fucking ALIENS or whatever and blow the rest up?"
Nod.
"So then you were trying to travel back and the aliens could only beam you to the nearest city."
Nod.
"Where you started to invest in the stock market, because you couldn't sneak onto a plane, which was apparently BETTER GUARDED THAN THE SECRET LAB and needed to buy a ticket. The money to invest in the first place you got from participating in an underground fighting ring."
Nod.
"... but then you befriended the bankers, and eventually they trusted you to join their secret fuck-cult, full of drugs and other messed up shit."
Nod.
"So you used that to start blackmailing them. But that got you in trouble with the mafia, who was trying to get their hands on connections like yours for years."
Nod.
"You got kidnapped and threatened with dismemberment."
Nod.
"But then your alien friends returned and- why the fuck am I doing this. You weren't kidnapped. Fuck you." Mike scoffed.
The little doll stomped her feet, angrily.
"Oh, don't fucking use those words on ME young lady." Mike sneered. "I INVENTED those fucking words. You can't swear. Also, even IF you witnessed Baby being destroyed, give me ONE reason to give a fuck. She was HORRIBLE and tried to murder me every other fucking night. It was HER choice to live a shitty life."
Alice huffed and crossed her arms to look away.
Simon frowned.
"... uh- y'know, let's just-" At that moment he noticed Funtime Freddy rushing towards them like a giant marshmallow colored apparition from the underworld. "... oh lord. Freddy. What is it now?"
The bear just snatched Alice, ignoring her inaudible protests.
"G-GONNA BORROW H-HER! THANKS!"
As fast as he could he escaped the guards and retreated into his funhouse, into a little secret room he had carved out for himself with the delicacy of a man with two hammers for hands.
Carefully he placed her onto a stolen locker and looked at her expectantly.
"S-so WHAT did you say about B-BABY!?"
The little machine seemed very annoyed about the fact that HER story was apparently of no interest to anyone. But she relented, explaining the situation to him.
She had witnessed something she didn't like.
Not at all.
"B-BABY IS IN- IS IN SHAMBLES?! A-AND NOT BECAUSE OF M-mE!? HO-HORRIBLE NEWS!"
This was a surprisingly sensible thing to say for this demented bear. Alice had expected him to demand to know where she is so he may slurp her up like spaghetti.
... yeah. That sounded like him. Oh dear.
"D-DO tHE OTHER KNOW!?"
A bit annoyed Alice gestured at him.
"W-WHo knOWS! M-maybe they C-cONSPIRED! WE- WE CAN'T TRUST 'EM-"
Alice raised a spiritual eyebrow at him.
"O- OKAY, m-Maybe not B-BALLORA. BUT FUNTIME F-FOXY?! A BASTARD! TRUE EVIL!"
Bonbon coughed, then tried to sweetly calm the bear. "Now, now, let's not rush to conclusions! I'm sure we aaaaaaaall are still friends."
The bear made an almost grumpy sound, as though that was a BAD thing. "M-mAybe. BonBON! Y-YOU shOULD g-go GET 'EM!"
"NO, FRED-"
Too late, the bunny was hurled at mach speed through the nearest vent, breaking multiple things by the sound of it on his way through.
Skeptical the Minireena looked after the bunny, but Funtime Freddy reassuringly attempted to crush her.
"N-NO fear! H-He's U-USED to th-that!"
Well then.
It didn't take all that long, surprisingly, for the others to arrive, Ballora carefully carrying the scratched up handpuppet, before Freddy roughly snatched him back.
The ballerina frowned a bit concerned, elegantly leaning forward to look at the smaller one. "... Bonbon tried to explain, but it hardly made sense. May you repeat what you told them before?"
Gestures, stomping, jumping.
Slowly Ballora nodded.
"... oh dear. That sounds... very much concerning."
Foxy just wagged his tail, seemingly not really bothered.
Freddy was taking over the righteous anger on his behalf though. "Wh-WHat's the PLAN? PuT him OUT! OF! ORDER!? B-BAD DAAAADS GET PUT IN- IN THE TRASH COMPACTOR!"
Passionately he opened and crashed shut the plate on his stomach, stressing his point.
Alice was looking pretty pleased with that idea, but Ballora shook her head. "... not a wise choice. How would we get to them? Not to mention, I don't think we really can... I mean, I don't want to burn this bridge to them. Not like this."
At the second part of her sentence, her voice became quieter and a bit shakier, she shifted on the spot, looking behind her.
The others were quiet, giving her a look, to which she responded with a bit of laughter.
"I- I mean, there are better ways to do this. We just have to think. I am sure I can- we can come up with something!"
Freddy raised an eyebrow. "A-are You SCA-ARED?"
"No!" She insisted. "I am being level-headed."
The bear had some laughter bubble up his throat, as he stared her down with his dead, blue eyes. "H- HAH- HAHAHAHAHAHHHHAAAAAA!"
Distressed Bonbon shook his arm. "No! No, Freddy! That's NOT nice! You HAVE to be nice!"
Instantly the bear's expression faltered. "Wh-whatever. We need to put B-BABy back t-together! Now th-that I'M the boss-!"
There was a pause there.
Nobody said anything.
Confused Freddy clicked his faceplates. "H-HeLLOOOO?"
"Yes?" Ballora asked, confused and slightly stressed.
"A-AreN'T you gonna SAY something?!"
Bonbon frowned. "Like... what?"
"Now that I- I'M the B-Boss- URGH. Y-yOU ALL- we R-REAlly need B-BABy BACK." Annoyed the bear groaned, then he shook his head. "A-anyways. Does AN-ANYONE here have A-ANY ideA how to- to REPAIR STUFFF?!"
Another moment of awkward silence followed, then Ballora spoke up.
"Probably... Matt? He always gathers useful stuff. I think I saw blueprints laying around at the corner... we should ask him."
"G-GOOD! Let's GOOOOO GANG!"
And with that the bear was walking off, ignoring if the others followed or not. Though he had not to worry, there was something about the insanity that he radiated, that tended to overload a person's decision-making skills and cause them to simply do as said in hopes that maybe it made sense later on.
The world HAD to make sense, right?
Well, except Alice, but she was just willing to be along for a ride that didn't include HER being dragged around and instead being able to watch potential drama on from the best seat.
Best seat was right now on Freddy's top hat.
She giggled her head off as she raised a fist.
Time for some TERROR.
Together they made their way towards the door, but instantly crushed into each other as Freddy abruptly stopped inside of the doorframe.
"WA-WAIT. We CAN't- CAN'T ALL GO- THROUGH TH-THE HALL. Not- not at ONCE! WE will be f-found OUT!"
"... found out?" Ballora frowned. "... what are they going to accuse us of. Talking to each other? Please Freddy-"
"ONE AFTER THE OTHER! NOBODY WILL KNOW WE'RE- WE'RE W-WORKING TOGETHER! W-WAIT HERE!"
And before anyone could try to rationalize with him again, he LEAPED out of the room and rushed towards a group of kids, who were frozen on the spot, terrified at that sight.
Thankfully though, none of them were squished to death, instead the bear crouched down, grinning at the boy in front of him.
"... n-no telling! Y-you haven't- hav- NOT seen me. U-understood...?"
It was said with the kindness and playfulness of a mafia boss and the children nodded rapidly, holding their breath.
"GREAT!" The bear screamed, causing the kids to jump into the air, as Freddy frolicked away, screaming a melody at the top of his lungs. Everyone knows the louder you hum, the less suspicious you are- and dear god this bear sure is up to nothing in particular!
Ballora sighed and walked out after him, shortly smiling and waving at the children who spotted her and seemed excited.
Elegantly she maneuvered around them, while Funtime Foxy stopped to shortly playfully swipe at them and hunting after them when they laughed and ran away.
Yet still, somehow, they all arrived at the price corner at the same moment.
Matt was surprisingly calm for a man that just has seen three killer bots make their way towards him.
Ballora smiled at the guy. "Good day to you."
"Oh, hey Ballora. What can I do for you today?" Casually the man said, his horrid plastic smile still in place.
But Freddy didn't bother that at all, as his grin was of the same kind.
"HE-HEY! SHOPKEEP! We N-NEED bLUEPRINTS. For- B-bABY! Do- DO you HAVE those?!"
"I sure do. Do you have some fazcoins?"
They looked at each other.
Alice shrugged. Too small to carry them.
Foxy coughed and suddenly said, with a deep, raspy voice "Addiction makes good men do awful things."
... nobody questioned hat he meant with that.
Ballora shook her head. "I... have none. I hate the noise they make when I try to dance. Freddy... do you not regularly carry around Fazcoins?"
"Y-YES! BU-buuuuut- I already sh-shot them a-all at small CHILDREN! F-For FUN! N-Now I have NO-NONE!"
Bonbon sighed. "... sadly I can confirm that. He... shot them through me."
Alice looked down at them, judgingly.
"I-it's not my fault! It's not like I can STOP him from doing that!" Poor little bunny wasn't ready to take on the guilt.
The bigger Ballerina shook her head. "... this is no good. We should not try to blame each other for not having coins."
Matt rose an eyebrow. "Maybe. But no coins mean no blueprints."
Freddy leaned forward. "A-are we SUUUUUUUURE a-about that?"
Some say there was silence.
Some say there were gunshots.
"Yes."
With a somewhat disgusted and confused look, Funtime Freddy stood back up. "O-okay. I gu-guess. But- how a-are WE supposed to E-EARN!? THEM?!"
"I don't know." Matt said, relaxing still. "Not my problem."
At that, Foxy suddenly broke out, being done with chasing giant mysterious scuttlers, jumping on top of the counter (Matt didn't even FLINCH), pointing at them.
His voice was youthful and full of hope and dreams in that moment, he seemed to glow from the inside out.
"YOU WANT A PLAN? You GET a plan! I, THE GREAT FOXY, shall give you all the Tokens you need! INDEED! You will DROWN in Tokens! It is easy. HEY EVERYONE, WE-"
Matt took out a long stick, shoving the fox off. "Not on my counter."
Foxy yelped as he stumbled down, the crashing noises sounding VERY concerning. Not only the noises, but the bits of sparks that flew out of the animatronic fox were surely a pretty bad sign too.
Bonbon cried out at Matt. "Y-you BROKE Foxy!"
"The foxes break the most. Probably because of the tail." Matt proceeded to polish the parts of the counter that the machine had been standing on before.
Thankfully though, as soon as that was said, Foxy's head twitched and he got to his feet again, smoothly.
He stood a bit different now, a hand on his hip, a slight scowl on his face.
Smoothly he walked out of the group.
"Time to make some tokens, darlings!"
His expression turned from the scowl to an unnerving smile, showing off his teeth.
Unsure Ballora reached out to him. "... are you sure you are alright? That fall did not sound well... and you have not shared your pla-"
Funtime Foxy opened his chest plates and pulled out a long, metal pole.
Ballora was frozen. "Oh no."
Before anyone could stop the impending disaster, Foxy jumped onto the stage, screaming out in an amplified voice.
"LAAAADIES AND GENTLEMEEEEN! BOYS AND GIRLS! DID YOU EVER WANT TO SEE AN ENDOSKELETON PERFORM LIVE ON STAGE? PAY ME TOKENS AND BE SURPRISED-"
"OH NO." Ballora now finally was able to move again, but the crowd had gathered quickly and it was PACKED.
Fast-paced music started playing, as Alice had taken over the panel controls at the side, smiling like the horrible gremlin she was.
Foxy rammed the metal pole into the wood, causing it to splinter, and then proceeded to dance, as shiny coins were thrown at him. Maybe to get him off there. Hopefully.
Didn't work though. Instead the fox stretched out his leg and proceeded to take off the first plate-
Ballora's voice wasn't calm at ALL anymore.
"Okay. OKAY. Enough playing around. Get down."
"I WILL NOT GO BACK TO JAIL!"
"Maybe you SHOULD. At least in there you will get therapy!"
At that Foxy completely regressed into mechanical screaming.
The ballerina sighed frustrated and heaved herself up the stage.
The cheers of the crowd became louder, as well as the steady stream of Tokens being thrown increasing, causing her to stress out again.
"Oh- oh no, no, I am not- this is- I am merely getting the coins and Foxy-"
Nobody seemed to care and even if, NOBODY would be able to understand in the screaming and howling.
Ballora took a deep breath and tried to brace herself for having to go through with this- even though she felt the impending lock-up of her servos-
But then there was a voice, the ONLY voice who could be louder than the crowd.
"EVERYONE STEP THE F U C K BACK."
There he was, Mike Schmidt, in all his annoyed glory. As nobody reacted, he groaned and also climbed the side of the stage, signing at Ballora. "Get the fuck off here. Why do you guys ALWAYS get into trouble."
"We- we need the tokens for something at the price corner."
"Well, leave it to me, I'll get them. Stop making the audience lose their SHIT."
Thankful she nodded and quickly grabbed Foxy to rush off.
Right on time, because as soon as Mike stood up the whole crowd just went HOGWILD.
"Okay you fuckers, VERY funny, show is over-"
EVERYONE WAS SCREAMING AND LOSING THEIR MIND AND THROWING MORE COINS AT HIM, CELEBRATING THIS AS THOUGH IT WAS THE SECOND COMING OF CHRIST-
And dear lord, do they all need Christ after this.
Angrily Mike showed them the fist and everyone screamed a loud 'OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH-' as though he had just shown the goods.
Well actually, maybe he did.
Fully red in the face Mike gave up at that point and simply picked up the coins, as every movement was met with wolf-whistling and more cheering, until finally he had gathered what he deemed enough, handing them to Ballora at the side of the stage.
As quickly as possible Mike rushed towards the stairs at the side of the stage- the crowd was READY to make Mike surf on them if he would try to jump- where Simon stood, leaned against the wall, his arms crossed.
"You better fucking think HARD about your next words."
For a moment Phoney didn't say anything, then he coughed. "Oh, I, uh- I'm thinking, alright?"
"That somehow makes me feel even WEIRDER."
"In a good or bad way-?"
"I am fully willing and capable to FIGHT you." He groaned, then passed him, deciding to turn it around on him. "... save those thoughts for the wedding."
"You are- uh- willing to do that stuff for me?"
Mike instantly shut up, grown even REDDER, his eyes big and round, as he had bitten off more than he could chew.
Simon started laughing at his silly expression, and Mike groaned even louder, pulling down his hat into his face. "Fuck you. I fucking HATE you."
"I'm sorry! I, uh- y'know. Just thought it was funny." Sheepishly he touched Mike's shoulder, reassured when he wasn't pushed off. "... why even were you on stage? What happened? Do I, uh- need to talk to the animatronics...?"
"No, no- I- good question actually. Ballora said she needed something from the price corner. Don't ask me what the fuck she could need, because I'd die to know too."
"Die to know? I don't think you need to go that far. I think you, uh- only need to ask."
"... are you pregnant? Or why are you splitting hairs like a dad?" He gave him a bit of a glare, but Simon only shook his head.
"Let's go over. I worry they might buy the gasoline. Or, uh- worse."
"Why the fuck do you still let Matt sell it."
"I'd prefer not be SHOT, Mike."
"What? You think he has fucking SNIPERS around at all times?!"
"Is that really so weird to think!?"
"Godfuckingdammit."
They moved over, but while doing so, Mike caught a glance of Dave and Old Sport in the back. Old Sport had his arm wrapped around Dave's, a slim smile on his face that didn't reach his eyes.
Recently they had been glued together almost, Dave going through a lot of different phases from what it seemed like.
None of them involved fully ruining the restaurant though, so that was nice. They could do that on their own. Obviously.
The animatronics were gathered in front of the counter, Matt simply watching them.
"So you have the Tokens?"
Funtime Freddy ripped the little bag from Ballora's hand, excitingly handing it over. "Y-YEAH! WE DO!"
"How much is that?"
"U-uh..." The bear looked at Ballora, who simply shrugged, still holding the kicking and screaming Foxy.
Matt waited for an answer, then simply shook his head and took the bag.
"... you wanted the blueprints for Baby, right? There you go."
Softly Ballora sighed, slowly becoming smaller as the tension left her body. "Thank you."
"Not for that." Matt went back to taking care of the price corner, ignoring the gaggle of animatronics, who now huddled together closely.
Alice proceeded to jump into the middle of them, down from... wherever, signing animatedly.
Before any of them could add to that, Mike was calling out.
"Yeah, sure I'll let you all fuck off. Mh-hm. Totally. What the FUCK are you up to again?"
The shock managed to even distract Foxy for long enough to calm down, as they all jumped back, giving Mike and Simon an opening.
Freddy whined. "W-what are YO-YOU DOIng here?! A-AlSO, WHYYYYYY c-can YOU UNDE-UNDERSTAND her a-anywaYS?!"
"It's my badass factor." Mike said, sarcasm dripping from each word. "I'm not only so badass that I can hear Alice's voice, I'm ALSO so fucking badass that I can see Simon's expression. Get on my fucking level."
All he got back was a huff, but nothing more. The animatronics gathered together more closely, looking at the two guards with distrust.
"... okay, fine, I admit, I have no fucking idea either. That's not the issue though. The issue is you guys doing something dumb and I need to fucking know how to stop you."
Freddy stepped forward, frowning as he clenched his fist. "W-We are NOT- doing s-something STUPID! ANd y-YOU C-CAN'T s-STOp us!"
"Oh yeah, that are TOTALLY the words of someone NOT up to something fucking stupid. I totally fucking believe you."
Phoney Guy snorted a bit. "... uh- that would be something you would say too."
"THAT'S FUCKING PROOF THOUGH."
"... fair enough." Simon turned to the animatronics. "If you plan to do something, uh- destructive, we have to take drastic measures."
Ballora frowned a bit confused. "... what would that entail?"
Bonbon tilted his head. "... are you going to abandon us...?"
The two guards exchanged a look, accompanied by a weirdly awkward silence.
Freddy grabbed the other animatronics. "W-WE'RE Not D-DOING aaaAAAAAnYYYYYYYTHING. No w-wORRIES! S-see you LATER! We n-neeD to ente-entertain some KIDS!"
They were on their way into the crowd, as Phone Guy called out to them. "You all will be there for the four PM show or there WILL be trouble, you hear?!"
"YEEEES!" All of them chanted out.
Ballora freed herself as they were well into the crowd, to deal with the gathering of kids- preventing Freddy from simply walking over them.
"... what do we exactly need?" She asked quietly before they were gone.
Alice waved at her a bit.
"Ah. Alright. I will attempt to find some nuts and bolts."
Alice huffed.
"... a LOT of nuts and bolts. No problem. Children, follow me! I have a fun little game waiting..."
For a moment, the air in the room became... thicker-
But it passed, as Freddy was moving on, pulling apart the blueprints like some sort of treasure map.
It promptly ripped, but he tried to not react to it, maybe nobody would noticed.
"Ah y-yes! Look at TH-THIS! Nuts a-aND BOLTS! Yes, y-yes." The bear nodded.
Bonbon tried to take a peek at the map, being forced to hold it for him in an awkward manner. "Freddy, do you-"
"I KN-KNOW WHAT I A-AM DOING!"
"... uhm. Okay. Anyways, Freddy, do you know how badly Baby is damaged?"
"OF C-COURSE I D-DO!" A few seconds passed. "A-Alice, how bad is she damaged?"
The little ballerina scratched her metaphorical beard.
"S-SO! That's E-EASY though! If- if she got BROKEN, then we will JUST GLUE! HER! BACK! TOGETHER!"
Alice raised an equally as metaphorical eyebrow.
"... what? Y-YOU don't knOW where T-TO get GLUEEE!? HAHA- You'RE D-DUMB!" The bear had finally reached the other side of the hall, away from fragile children's ears, which would probably go deaf soon anyways due to Freddy's volume. "EEEEEEVERYONE would- DO-DOES knOW that! I w-wILL get y-yOU SOmE glue RIGHT NOW."
Bonbon frowned, while Alice got comfortable on the hat, crossing her arms.
"Y-YOU'LL see! I- I will GET- glue in nooooooooooo t-time! It's... right..." Shortly Freddy raised his finger, counting down the doors nearby. ".... RIGHT THERE! C-COME ON!"
"Freddy, no, that is-"
As the bear kicked open the door, pulverizing it completely in the process, they looked at the extremely unamused Ronaldo.
The extremely unamused Ronaldo meanwhile was looking at a group of spooked animatronics.
"What are you h-hooligans doing in here?"
Alice giggled.
Freddy dropped his ears. "W-we-"
The panic in his eyes was apparent.
Bonbon tried to save it. "Sorry, sir, we were just trying to find some-"
"H-HOT C-CHEEESE! WE- WE- Y-YEAH! WE NEED A- A LOT OF HOT CHEESE! C-CAN WE HAVE IT? IT'S S-SO STICKY, IT'S- B-BASICALLY GLUE!" He turned his head to Foxy, who was rolling around on the ground, itching his back. "SEE?! I T-TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! TH-THERE WAS GLUE IN HERE! THIS W-WAS ALL PLANNED! Y-you BE-bELIEve me, R-RIGHT?!"
Ignoring the bear's obvious self-worth issues Ronaldo inspected them. "And who is saying that I will give you some of my family recipe molten cheese? That is a valuable resource. My previous clients paid me its weight in gold and meth for this, as it enabled them to walk up walls. This is valuable material. How am I supposed to know you won't sell this to the fuzz?"
"Wh-WHAT k-kind of FUZZ?"
Skeptical Ronaldo looked the bear up and down. "... you are a tough guy, I can see that. But there is still the issue of pay..."
"W-WE can WORK!"
"Can you?" The chef walked around him. "You are strong. Brutal. You know no mercy. No pity."
When he was back in front of him, he shook his head.
"No. No you cannot work in my kitchen. I promised my mother Mary- never again BEARS."
Unsure Freddy looked back at Foxy. "WH-what A-ABOut Foxy?"
"... he is a spy. They may switched from dogs to foxes, but that is just blatantly obvious rebranding. I can recognize a spy from five miles away on a foggy day." Distrustful he threw a glare at the animatronic that had just found another little bug crawling about and seemed fully engrossed in trying to hunt it down.
Freddy too watched that scene. "... I a-ALWAYs suspected h-HIM to keep s-some EVIL SECRETS!!"
Both nodded.
But then Freddy huffed. "... so w-we have to go a-and get Ballora?"
"Are you crazy? She is going to ruin everything with that skirt of hers. Too big. Too wide. Too soulless. No good for the task I have in mind."
"Wh-WHAT?" The bear slowly lost his patience. "S-SO what THEN? D-do you W-WANt Bonbon?!"
"F-Freddy! Don't!" Bonbon actually sound worried.
"N-no worries, Bonster! I-it would just be f-for a little! I wouldn't give you away forever." That was probably the most rational he sounded in a while. "B-But we NEED the CHEEEEEEEEEESE."
Ronaldo was already waving off.
"A legless h-hooligan?! Never. Not in MY kitchen. Those are only good for shooting at chasers on the highway and smuggling guns into churches. That is not what I have in mind."
Annoyed Alice jumped down from her place on Freddy's hat, raising her fists. She was willing to beat this old man into a pulp for that damn cheese. Hell, she would do it for less. He constantly ruined her adventures in the vents with his dumb smoke that he routed into the false pipe.
Ronaldo grabbed her swiftly taking a close look at her.
"Hm. Too small! Useless! OW- GODDAMMIT! YOU LITTLE COCKROACH!" He quickly dropped her as she had bitten him, then proceeded to try and stomp on her as she scuttled around, escaping with ease.
Freddy was delighted and applauded, cheering on... one of them, I suppose. We may never know which one.
"How do YOU think you can be of ANY worth in MY kitchen?!" The chef upset picked up a clump of dough, hurling it at her at an incredible speed, the crack of the sound barrier was audible, a wave of dough and air flew into every direction.
The little animatronics however reacted with perfect timing, seeing the fast approaching ball of bread-y death and rose her leg, for one well-aimed kick.
Cleanly split, the dough hurled into the wall behind her, not a single speck left on her.
Smugly she grinned at him, ready for his next move.
Ronaldo however simply stopped. "You're hired."
Alice instantly stopped, tilting her head.
"Huh?" Freddy asked, disappointed that he didn't get to see a public execution so far.
"Yes. She is perfect. I see evil in her eyes. She doesn't ask question. She has the strength to execute an elephant rushing towards her at full speed, a trait that is infinitely valuable to me. She has the job." He offered his hand, to which the Minireena huffed, but climbed onto it, being raised to the place. After that he turned. "Now you all...? LEAVE! OUT OF MY KITCHEN! I DON'T TOLERATE NO GOOD SLACKERS IN HERE! OUT!"
With that all of the three remaining machines were flung back out of the door, which manifested again in hopes of not making the old chef upset.
It seemed to be soundproof, only party music was still audible.
Slowly Ronaldo turned to her.
"I have waited decades for someone like you. Someone with your natural talent. Your unyielding attitude. So, for the job you may have this."
He turned away, opened the microwave, then punched in a long code, as a second door inside clicked open.
A slick, black gun was inside.
He took it out and handed it to the ballerina.
It was as big as her entire body, but somehow she managed to carry it without stumbling. The ballerina training was paying off.
"This... is an old relic of mine. I got it gifted, after finishing my service with some... fine, fine fellas. Anyhow. It is the only gun for this job."
She nodded excitedly.
"Which job you ask?"
She shook her head, she didn't ask that.
"Well, you need to know, Freddy's has been under siege for years. Be quiet. Listen. What do you hear?"
There was the humming of machines, like the oven and the fridge... there was party music, there was the little squeaking of rats, there were party guests WAY muffled in the-
"Exactly. Rats."
Ronaldo stood up straight, beginning to pace.
"There ARE no rats at Freddy's. We don't have them ANYWHERE else. The giant mysterious scuttlers are OUR trademark. Do you know who DOES have rats?"
She shrugged.
Every other place?
"Exactly. CANDYS." He clenched his fist. "The Phone Guy may have a childish feud, but between me and Candy's, it's REAL. They want me. And when they couldn't have me, they tried to get my recipes. I have LOYALTY. I have HONOR. They don't, I knew it from the start. But now they send the rats- which are actually agents. How nobody realizes this is beyond me. THEY WORHSHIP A RAT. They even send Farfour to our establishment, where it rampaged until I sealed the beast up into the backroom."
Looking into the far distance, he seemed to experience brutal flashbacks of the day.
"... and they still don't give up. So you need to go. Go below this door, find their hideout and kill them all."
Excited again, Alice nodded, jumping from the counter with easer, balancing the giant gun like it was nothing and rushed into the little creak.
There was nothing much, but dirt and a bit of hair.
The structure lead further in, but all was simply broken foundation, nothing of interest. She skipped along in the dark, not minding the lack of light at all.
It took a while, but finally she found a rat.
Curious it looked at her, standing a bit up on its hind legs.
Should she kill it? Or wound it, so it would lead her to the others?
Slowly she loaded the gun and aimed.
The rat simply twitched with its ears and whiskers, still seemingly not realizing what happened.
Alice shot.
The corpse fell to the ground, blown a nice hole into.
Curiously she stepped closer, gently nudging the body and looking over it.
Nothing exciting, no loot. Huh. Maybe this was actually just a rat.
Slightly disappointed she kept going, the surroundings becoming a little bit wetter. Perhaps the water pipes were nearby.
There was another group of rats, eating away from another piece of wall, though stopping when Alice approached. They too stood up on their hind legs, at least two of them, while the other three tried to get a better look.
She aimed the gun and-
Jumped to the side, in the last second, as a bullet flew past her.
A rat stood in the passage she had used to get here, a smaller gun in his hand.
They looked at each other, hatefully.
"... that was for Ronald. Get her, boys!"
Alice proceeded to make a summersault, as bullets started to blow from the group of rats she had turned her back to, like a damn AMATEUR.
She hissed, holding her gun close.
This wouldn't be pretty.