A Guard's life

A new restaurant

A/N: Nothing to say here, soo... ENJOY!

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Dave watched Old Sport intensely.
The miniscule movement of his nose and mouth while breathing.
The way his chest rose and sunk again and again.
The soft twitching fluttering over his face from time to time.
Softly he stroke him over the cheek.
Sometimes he asked himself if Old Sport maybe was an angel that was send down to fulfill a mission, but got distracted on his way.
Snickering he pushed his finger into his friend's cheek.
Hopefully he would wake up soon.
Time felt less like somethings daunting and hurting, but more like water running along, running over him.
And all just because of that human being that was willing to stay by his side.
Slowly he laid back down next to him, eyes closed and enjoying the warmth.
Then he began to snuggle into him.
Oh god, only yesterday he had feared to lose all of this.
When his friend refused to sleep at all yesterday, he knew that he needed a miracle to fix this.
Thank the puppet, thank the Phone Guy, thank Mike and thank Jeremy.
Thanks for returning him. It didn't matter what it had been what had gotten into Old Sport-
(Henry, Henry got always what he wanted and Henry wanted to ruin this)
- but he was back and that was all that counted.
Now, actually he wasn't supposed to waste any time, since Phoney could very well do something STUPID.
But could one really call this paradise wasting time?
Never in a million years.
A soft change in Old Sport's breathing, a change he knew so well... Old Sport would wake up soon.
But he didn't want to back off.
So what if Old Sport would get scared?
In the worst case he could kidnap him.
He even went a step further and was almost lying on top of him.
Yawning, those orange eyelids crept open and the first thing he was doing when seeing his partner in this position was grinning.
"For god's sake, you're getting creepier and creepier the longer I spend time with you."
"Good morning to you too, Sportsy! Now, get up, we have to visit a Phone!"
"Phoney? But why?"
"To prevent him from doing anything that could lead to our home being ruined. Step up! I thought you were the one who wanted to keep this version!"
"Ooooh... I'll hurry..." Groaning he rose from his bed, pushing Dave off in the process and was being greeted by a lot of laughter from his little girl. "Hey Alice! Back to playing with me?"
She hugged him and snickered.
"I missed you too..." He petted her, but sat her back down onto the ground soon enough. "Just give me five minutes, I'll be right back!"
And truth be told, they all were ready to go in five minutes, Dave and Old Sport standing side by side, Alice sitting on the Orange's shoulder ready for adventure!
After their highly normal walk to Phone Guy's home (no fires, three people died, all the dogs in the neighborhood had now rabies), they were greeted with lot of screaming.
"KILLING YOURSELF IS THE MOST RETARDED THING IN THE WORLD!"
"I DIDN'T WANT TO CAUSE ANY TROUBLE!"
"IT'S FUCKING TROUBLE TO GO INTO A HOUSE AND SEEING A PERFECTLY TIED NOOSE!"
"I NEVER INVITED YOU OVER! DIDN'T YOU SAY HOW RUDE IT IS TO JUST WALK INTO SOMEONE'S HOUSE?"
"RUDE? DIDN'T YOU KNOW IT'S FUCKING RUDE TO KILL YOURSELF?"
"THAT'S MY GODDAMN DECISION! YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!"
"NO IT FUCKING ISN'T! AFTER ALL WHO HAS TO LIVE WITH THE BURDEN?"
Without hesitation Old Sport rang the bell. "PHONEY! MIKEY! KNOCK KNOCK, OPEN UP THE DOOR, IT'S ME!"
A little embarrassed the Phone-head opened. "Did you... hear that?"
"Yeah, but that's not important! Dave has an offer you CAN'T refuse!"
"I'm already considering suicide, you don't have to do anything-"
He was interrupted by Dave falling around him and hugging him tightly. Confused he even forgot to struggle.
"Phoney! My man! I have something you should show to the higher-ups. I'm sure they will be... interested."
"Are t-those... blueprints?"
"Indeed they are! For the most advanced machines currently existing... yes, they exist already, in case they'll ask. Not even money is a problem, we have a VERY generous donor... it will all be financed. We even have a location for it. Only ONE condition... all of us get to stay. You're going to run this place, under the rules of our donor. Sounds fair, doesn't it? Tell them that and I'm sure they'll agree."
"Do you think I'm a retard?"
Surprised both colorful Guards exchanged a look. Orange Guy began to clap. "That ain't PG anymore my friend! Since when do you use those words?"
"Since I got sick of your shit. Here, Dave, you're our donor, right? Afton companies is pretty profitable, isn't it? Well, donate a fuck for me to give. This is all your fault and I'm sick of you!"
Mike peeked around the corner, between shocked and simply impressed.
But Phoney continued. "I'd rather die and really, this isn't an exaggeration, I have a noose in the back... if Mike didn't pretend to be the master of life and death, which he probably did, like the dickhead he is."
The mentioned Guard groaned. "Your insults are so fucking childish. Ever heard of quality over quantity? If you're cussing every other second, pros like me will know how inexperienced you are."
"No one asked your opinion, you're not the master of insults and I can fucking curse, whenever the hell I want and no cunt and no dick can tell me what to fucking do!"
A short pause entailing intense staring ensued. It took three minutes to make the Phone Man break down. "O-okay, I'm sorry. Really. B-but, understand! This is my last freaking day! I want to curse, I want to be rude and I want to F-f-fucking hurt someone... Urgh, now it doesn't even help to curse. I don't want hurt people, I take it back... It's my stress reaction. My death reaction! Not all people do stupid puns when they are afraid!"
Desperately the man suddenly stepped back and opened the door fully. "Please, Dave, Old Sport, come in, let's have a coffee or tea or juice or whatever and enjoy the day! It's going to be my last!"
"It doesn't have to be..." Dave flung himself onto a coach and accepted the coffee that was offered. Irritated he took a look at the noose. "That's one shitty noose."
Old Sport nodded. "You tied it all wrong. Looks kinda like my first attempt."
"Yeah, at least he got the length right, which is pretty impressive for a first timer."
Annoyed Phoney took off the rope and threw it out of the window. "Shut up, I don't care."
"You will understand when you first experience suffocating-"
"-It's not pleasant."
Dave and Old Sport had finished each other sentences and began snickering carefree, led by Alice who was taking over the table between them, climbing onto the mugs and dancing on their edges.
Mike refilled his cup as well, staring at everyone aggressive. "Fucking hell, am I the only one who doesn't want to kill himself?"
"M80, you chose to keep your job at Freddy's, you're most certainly suicidal."
Everyone sighed a little for their reasons and actually managed to calm down. Sportsy focused rather on playing with Alice, so Dave decided to return in his conversation.
"Please, Phoney, there is nothing that could go wrong with that! You can meet the animatronics, if you want to! We're just doing that to keep you around! Nothing would change except a new restaurant and that would be opened anyway. You know this could never be the end. The only question is... do you stay or do you die?"
Mike interrupted. "We could fuck off and leave you!"
"Yeah, good luck with that! You're both on contract, they'll do ANYTHING to catch you."
"I would do it anyway!"
The Purple Guy shook his head. "I know. You're not bad Mikey, and yeah, maybe you would do it. You and Phoney, forever on the run. Sounds romantic, would be a nice bedtime-story, but the real world looks better if you just go the path of least resistance... right Phoney?"
Unimpressed said man was taking a sip, without answering.
Since no one else said anything, he put the cup carefully back onto the table and looked up. "Okay. Give me the blueprints, I'll make the deal. But you won't be the one making the rules."
"Wow, Phoney! What if I say no to that?"
"I'll just frick off, you know?"
"Fuck off."
"Who cares?! Mike, the next time you feel like deciding what I say, just call my head and I'll let you talk, maybe then you'll be happy!" Phone Guy frustrated took his cup back up and simply swallowed the whole liquid. "I'm... sorry."
"You don't fucking have to be, I can take what I dish out." Mike stood up and changed place, to now sit next to his friend as comfort.
"Ah, now that I see you guys like that!" Purple Guy grabbed into his pocket and took out a...
...
"Dave. Why. What the fuck could I use this for." Phone Guy was shaking his head defeated.
"Well, it's an electronic whip, I'm sure Mikey is into that. It's a gift, take it or leave it!"
Without any seeable reaction the Phone simply pocketed the item, making Mike look at him in utter irritation. Not even sounding slightly out of the norm, Simon shrugged. "I'm sure we'll find a use for this."
"Nope. Fuck this shit, I'm out, you can-"
A girl screamed loudly in front of the door. "NO, NO, FREDDY! YOU CAN'T SHOOT FROM UP HERE! THE TREES WILL CATCH FIRE!"
They opened the door, confused, to see a distressed clown girl holding back a giant bear, while a ballerina and a fox were watching displeased.
"That..."
Baby turned around, smiling apologizing. "I am sorry, father... we didn't want to cause this amount of trouble..."
"Y-yeah! We-we-we wanted to h-help CONVINCING our-r-r friend! We want-ed to get get our restaurant!"
Phone Guy didn't even move an inch. "Come in, you're the new animatronics, right?"
"Yeah, b-boss! I'm the new Fr-freddy and y-y-your new bestbestbest friend! And of cours-s-se! BONBON! Say hello!"
"Hello sir! I'm Bonbon! I love your nice color! Please be patient with our dear Freddy, he's loud, but nice!" The hand puppet waved happily.
The clown girl and the ballerina bowed to him. "I'm Ballora. It is a pleasure to meet you."
"I am Circus Baby, the leader of this little freak show! That fox over there is called Funtime Foxy, he... I mean she... uh... Foxy doesn't talk, but really is friendly. Feel free to pet and cuddle!"
Phone Guy stared at it. "I've seen people trying to "cuddle" Foxy and I'm NOT interested. By the way, cuddle is probably the stupidest euphemism I ever heard!"
Displeased the Purple Guy gave him a slap onto the back of the head. "She isn't old enough to hear about that yet!"
"How old is she?"
"NOT OLD ENOUGH."
Confused Baby looked back and forth, slightly uncomfortable. "Please, I didn't want to stir up some kind of controversy..."
Freddy hugged all of them in an almost bone-crushing hug. "My b-best friends! Be n-n-nice to each each each other, understood?"
"If I'm not will you kill me?" Hopeful Phone Guy looked up to them, but they were all interrupted by Mike's weird acting. He was slowly backing off towards the window, somewhat staring horrified at the machines. "You're..."
His words trailed off and he suddenly jumped around, beginning to stare out, frozen for a second. "Ah... god dammit... what..."
The giant bear saw it as his cue to lay his arm around him, shoving his hand puppet right into the poor man's face. Giggling as it saw the Guard's terror, Bonbon pat his cheek.
"What is the problem dear friend?"
"Get the fuck out of my face you abomination! I- I just need to go home."
Mike shortly stopped next to PG and laid a hand on his shoulder. "Don't kill yourself you fucking idiot, learn the balance between normal and swearwords and if you don't feel ready to go to the factory, call me up and I'll take over the talking. After all I'm the charming one here."
"Yeah, you totally not making me want to fire you whenever you open your filthy mouth."
"You have lost all your moral high ground at this point."
"Sounds like a reason to stop with all those swears."
"Maybe." Before walking out, Mike looked past the chaos that the weird, monstrous animatronics out of the windows, where rain had started to pour down like mad. It was incredibly dark, a storm was approaching.
"PG, do you have an umbrella here?"
"Uh... yeah?"
Groaning Mike rolled his eyes at the attitude. "And WHERE...?"
Finally Simon stood up and took a look out of the window, frowning. He handed him over the umbrella and everyone watched him leave.
Once more Simon looked out of the window into the sunny day.
Shortly he considered going after Mike, but maybe he wanted the item as a weapon... wouldn't be too unusual. Now he only needed to deal with the unwanted guests, who had begun to stare at him as if he was going to do a backflip or suddenly reveal that he actually was made out of owls that had hidden under his shirt.
"Thank you for coming over, I will take care of the negotiation. If you don't leave in the next five minutes, I'm going to rebuild my head into a bomb and run into your house and shove the head down your throats, before blowing up."
"Phoney... you SCARE me!" Innocently Old Sport grabbed Dave's arm and tugged him out, unclear if he meant it serious or not.
Shortly before they left, Phone Guy stopped the Orange Guy. "Good to have you back. Honestly, I prefer you when you at least PRETEND to have a soul."
"Ouch..." Now really frowning, the Orange paused. "Thanks, I guess, but those comments are really mean, you know?"
"Well, they aren't wrong, are they? And what do YOU want?" The man snapped at Dave, whose eyes had slimmed in a dangerous fashion. "You guys got what you want, now I need a break to be at peak performance. That IS what you want after all."
"Let's leave, sportsy... we could do something fun!"
"I know!" Sparkling while going down, Old Sport was beginning to give suggestions. "We could dress all the street signs in lingerie!"
Freddy was ready to keep up. "N-no! We should highjack-highjack-highjack a news station! We have t-t-to advertise our FUN FUNFUN new place!"
"For that we would first need to build the place, dear Freddy..." Baby shook her head, displeased.
Purple Guy smiled fondly at his little family. "We have A LOT to do today! How about we try to order them after-"
Sighing Phone Guy closed his front door and asked himself what he was supposed to do now. Probably first send an email, before the firing squad came knocking.
Hopefully his friend wasn't getting himself in trouble.
A wish that was... subjectively coming somewhat true? If you were lenient.
Not even one minute walking on the street and suddenly out of nothing, the strange cop who had been there on the day they freed Gary had stepped in front of him.
Friendly smiling, he offered his hand. "Mike Schmidt, if I'm correct?"
"Who wants to fucking know that?"
"Ah, excuse me, I am Ethan Cross, we have shortly met at Freddy's. We haven't gotten the time to talk yet..."
"Because why would I ever talk to someone like you?"
"Let's say I have a few questions... about the DNA inside the robots and the company in general."
"Fuck off, I'm busy."
His eyes and tone steeled. "Mr. Schmidt, you have three options at the moment. We could go to the police station or we could make your home feel VERY uncomfortable for the next while. But, especially since it's a simple chat and I would mind bothering you too much, we could also sit down in a café for a while."
Those words were a slightly veiled threat. The easy way or the hard way, you decide.
Mike felt between annoyed and worried, but didn't feel like making a scene. "Alright, but you pay for a coffee for me."
"Of course." Returning to his softer expression, he took the lead and brought him towards the nearest small place, apparently already familiar with the employees, as they greeted him friendly.
They sat down in a cozy corner, not even needing to order to get their coffee.
"Did you... did you fucking prepare this?"
"It is always good to be prepared." Seeing that Mike wasn't pleased with that answer he continued. "Let's simply say that I thought it was pretty unlikely for you to deny my simple request for a talk."
"Fuck yourself."
The detective paused and looked outside, taking a sip from his coffee.
Outside were strangers passing by, each of them different in a way. Ethan finally answered, with the most unrelated thing possible.
"Did you ever hear of the Milgram experiment?"
"No and I have no interest to hear about it."
"Why, that is a harmful way of thinking. When I first attempted to interview the previous owner of Fredbear's Family diner, he solved the tension nicely by talking about it. It is, to put it simple, an experiment on people's obedience. An authority figure ordered them to shock a person in the next room, whenever said person answered a question wrong, to grossly oversimplify. At first it were simple, soft shocks that they pretended to stimulate the brain. But slowly the voltage began to creep higher and the person in the next room began screaming. How many people do you think stopped at that point with the experiment, not following the orders of the authority anymore?"
"Every-fucking-one?"
"When the so called "teacher" wanted to stop the experiment, the authority said these verbal prods. Please continue - The experiment requires that you continue - It is absolutely essential that you continue - You have no other choice, you must go on. Nothing more, nothing less."
"Well then, probably nobody went for it, right?"
"Well, 65 percent administered the experiments final voltage of 450 Volt. All of them went to the 300 Volt mark."
"What the holy fuck?"
"And recent studies showed that it hasn't really changed today."
Somewhat shocked Mike followed Ethan's eyes and stared at the people walking outside. He wasn't really sure what to say to that statistic.
"Isn't it weird? Every day we pass so many faces- not asking about what the person will become. Maybe you just passed by a guy who will be hit by a car later this evening and die shortly after in hospital. Maybe you just nodded at a woman, who will abuse her children in two years. That one person you were in school with, the one you never really paid attention to hanged himself. Your neighbor could soon appear in the newspaper, having killed a family of three."
"What's your fucking point?"
"My point is... nothing, actually. I assumed you weren't one for small talk and thought this might interest you more. The banality of evil. I'm a police man, I should know how "evil" appears, right? No, of course not. Evil isn't really a force, but rather something that slowly builds out of ignorance, convenience and fear. That's what I learned as my time as part of the police."
He took another sip, now his almost grey eyes were fixated on the Guard. "Not even the Nazis were made up out of bad people. Terrifying, isn't it? Or maybe hopeful? Even though you have to be VERY optimistic to see hope in that."
"Oh, I know a guy who would use this as excuse to believe in people."
"Hm... would you count him lucky? Never mind, let's return to the subject at hand: That evil is not what people think it is. No human acts evil, with the intention of acting evil. Most of them don't even know what they are doing."
"I have my doubts about that..."
"Yes. Exactly. When I started this case, I believed my first statement, but then I met it. Or it found me? Whatever is going on at Freddy's... It's evil. It is real evil, for the sake of being evil. In full knowledge of what it is doing. It does it, because it enjoys it. You know about it, don't you? First the investigation due to an anonymous tip, then, before we could even attempt to confiscate anything, an attack onto the competitor's chain, a violent, excessive one and just a few days later, a fire inside of Freddy's itself. You know something. You're not the kind of guy to ignore weird details. Tell me... what do you know?"
"I-" Mike wanted to make some kind of excuse, but then he realized that it was pretty stupid to lie here. This was the right moment to tell what Dave did. This was the right moment to finish this lawful. "Dave... Miller or Vincent or whatever. The Purple Guy. He's a psychopath, killed kids and tried to electroshock me as well."
Red.
Very red.
Very, very red.
Mike's thoughts suddenly jumbled again, he couldn't concentrate.
"Do you think this is a joke?" Ethan appeared grim.
"What?! What about this is a joke?"
"Repeat yourself please."
"The purple employee is a serial killer! He tried to end my life! I have fucking scars to prove it!"
Red. Red. Red.
Confused Ethan frowned, but his expression softened. "This... is what you said?"
"Are you fucking kidding me?! YES, you daft asshole!"
"Say it one more time, word for word."
"The. Purple. Guy. Is. The. Killer."
Red.
Why did he think about that damn color as much?
The detective flipped back a few pages of his notebook and tapped onto the table. "Something is seriously wrong at Freddy's, wouldn't you agree?"
"YES. Freddy's is hell."
"Hm. Alright then. It appears as if you couldn't tell me anything."
"WHAT? I LITERALLY REVEALED THE KILLER!"
"You didn't. You said something different each time. But don't worry, that is common with some of you employees. Weirdly common." He wrote something down.
Mike's phone started ringing. Annoyed he checked up and it said that he got a text, even though it was the tone for a call.
Confused he stared at the display.
Five hundred new messages from "=)"
Now completely weirded out, he opened the first text.
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.
Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for death or dismemberment.
That... was Simon's first call, at least until the last sentence. He deleted the message and a new message popped up.
Apprehensive he opened the second text.
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person. Upon discovering that damage or death has occurred, a missing person report will be filed within 90 days, or as soon property and premises have been thoroughly cleaned and bleached, and the carpets have been replaced.
Fazbear entertainment is not responsible for death or dismemberment.
Another one.
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Another one.
Not responsible for death or dismemberment.
Another one.
Not responsible.
Panicking he put it back, standing up and turning away. "I don't feel good. I hope I could help or you at least got what you needed."
"Not at all, but I'm sure we will talk again, Mr. Schmidt."
While running home, the phone kept ringing.
Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza.
Keep going, this isn't too bad.
You are not responsible for death and dismemberment.
His mind felt as if it was splitting apart, as the rain poured down onto him, his only protection in form of the umbrella being toyed with by the stormy wind.
Quickly he entered his place and sighed relieved, until his eyes fell onto the window.
What a sunny day.
He was completely dry.
Slowly he stepped towards the bed, falling into it and staring at the ceiling. How much was real right now?
Where was he?
Carefully he reached for the new pills.
They won't help.
Yes, I know.
Then why take it?
"Because I'm talking to myself at this fucking point."
How would you know that?
"GUESS I have to take the pills to find out! Or are you a GHOST?"
Nothing answered him, which was probably a good sign or something. Quickly he swallowed one and closed his eyes, praying to fall asleep.
In quite a distance, someone else felt like falling asleep as well.
Old Sport watched Dave sleepy, as the man was making a lot of different phone calls to different companies.
"Big plans, huh?"
"Well, it's not going to be Circus Baby's Pizzeria, it HAS to be Circus Baby's Pizza World!"
"The difference is...?"
"What would you call a "world", Sportsy?"
Perking up in excitement the Orange Guy answered. "An amusement park."
"YES."
Baby was equally as surprised and shyly began to play around with her skirt. "A-ah whole amusement park for us? I-isn't that a bit much?"
"Nothing is too much for my lovely daughter and her friends! And of course my dear Old Sport!"
Excited said guy jumped up, dancing around. "A whole amusement park?!"
"Yes, with EVERYTHING! Arcades and pizza for you, a funhouse for Freddy, a jungle for Foxy and a palace made out of candy for Ballora! A pool, adventure rides and all kind of things! It's going to be GIANT. We will change architects every three weeks, so we can build in some secrets of our own as well~"
"WHOOO! But how long will it take?!"
"If I hire about fifty different companies, probably more than two months."
"What?! NOOOOoooOOOO!"
"BUT DON'T WORRY! FOR I HAVE A TIME MACHINE!"
"WHAT?!"
"YES!"
"And it works?!"
"YES!"
"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?"
"NOTHING! LET'S GO!"
Dave pulled out a small glowing ball and made a sign for Old Sport to follow, who didn't need that invitation. Down in the workshop they entered a small, round machine, filled to the brim with lights and buttons.
While Purple Guy was putting in the glowing orb, Old Sport began pushing all buttons he could find.
Dave rolled his eyes. "It won't react to that, there's a highly complicated process behind finding a possible landing place, which includes knowing time and space of the desired-"
"COORDINATES ACCEPTED. INITIATING TRAVEL."
"Old Sport, did you just-?!"
All of sudden lights and sound became overwhelming and the machine began shaking, yet thankfully it stopped as soon as it started.
"What... happened?" Old Sport sheepishly yelped, having fallen over into a weird position.
"You catapulted us into the next century..."
"WOAH! AWESOME!"
"We only needed to travel fifteen years for that, so don't freak out. The power source has to reload though... and once it has finish it will take us back automatically. You haven't deactivated the automatic return feature..." They exited the capsule and looked around. It was a little fuller, there was a little more advertisement and cars, but otherwise it wasn't too out of the ordinary.
Disappointed Old Sport crossed his arms. "So there's basically nothing interesting coming from this?"
"Well, while we're he we could do something pretty illegal! After all, the police can't catch us for something we're GOING to do, right? Any wish?"
"Right, we're in the future... hm... let's see..."
They walked a few steps and ended up in front of a giant building, that had in giant letters AIRPORT written on it.
Dave's eyes slimmed and he grinned. "We have twenty minutes..."
"YES!"
Together they entered and while looking for an entrance to the planes, someone was running up to them.
"Entschuldigung, haben sie eine junge Dame mit dunklen Haaren, einer schwarzen Brille und blauen Rucksack gesehen?"
Dave frowned confused, not understanding anything really, but Old Sport apparently knew exactly what to say.
"Nein, verpissen Sie sich oder ich breche ihnen alle Knochen im Namen von Amerika."
The man stepped back, shocked and simply left them. Impressed Dave looked at his partner. "You can speak German?"
"Well, you know, a bit... this ain't my first time travel, you know? Usually I end up in Germany though... and in the past. The first time there was that poor man who had a fucking sweet beard and kept trying to ask me something, but since I didn't understand anything I simply clapped my hands. So five minutes later I end up in some other place, phasing in and out of reality, while finally being given a gun. There were all those people signing at that one dude in some kind of carriage and I think to myself, eh, whatever, they probably want me to shoot that guy. Thought and done, I'm suddenly end up home again. Weeks later I see a picture in one of those magazines that lay around at doctors and dentist and stuff... think to myself, uh, that guy looks familiar! Turns out I shot the Archduke Franz Ferdinand of Austria and basically am at fault for the First World War."
They strolled towards the next exit, hoping to find a way to enter the planes, while Orange Guy continued.
"Thinking to myself, holy fuck, I might should learn a bit of German, so that won't happen again! Said and done and surprisingly I find another one of those portals! I jump through it, having nothing better to do anyway, I end up in Germany AGAIN! This time, I tell myself that I won't do anything and just make fun of those around me without needing to fear to be beaten up again. Sitting in a bar, looking for a fight, I sit down next to that one depressed guy, asking him what's wrong. Turns out he is too fucking shitty at drawing, he wasn't accepted into art school. Pretty depressing in itself, but I felt especially badass and told him all the memes. That it was probably all fault of the Jews and that we should gas them and shit. That dude isn't even too salty, goes along with it and talks about problems in politics and that the politicians aren't doing anything. I try to be funny, tell him that they most likely are Jews or controlled by Jews as well and that you could tell if someone is a Jew by their nose and stuff. He stays silent for a while, thanks me and leaves. Took me forever to find out that I... well, let's not talk about it. Pretty obvious what I did. Lesson learned: Never make Nazi jokes, until after the Nazi's have been defeated."
"Old Sport, your kill count is probably so much higher than mine... fucking hell..."
"Yeah, yeah, don't rub it in, I tried to be edgy... It's really bad when I remember the edgy side of my life. But even in my edgiest phase, I did NAZI that coming!"
Finally they found a plane that was promising. Quickly they sneaked past the guards broken into the plane, until the plane was already in the air, making it safe to come out.
Coincidently they found some other guys hiding in the back with some weapons. They took the weapons and threw them out, watching them fly like majestic, over-weight eagles.
Ah, America, the land of the free.
"Who gets to fly?"
"How about we take turns? Only ten minutes left anyway, so five you, five me?"
"The other one takes care of the people in the plane."
Old Sport sprinted through the different sections, broke down the door to the pilot's cabin with a nice kick and screamed on top of his lungs.
"THIS IS AN ATTACK IN THE NAME OF MOE! GIVE ME YOUR PANTIES OR I'LL TAKE THEM BY FORCE!"
"What the hell?!"
"Please get out of here-"
With another perfect kick he broke both of their necks. "Nonbeliever will be erased! By the power of my sexy, biological walking pillars!"
Satisfied he checked all the beeping and booping going on.
Autopilot? FUCK THAT!
Violently he yanked the controls around and yes, the plane reacted accordingly, getting ready to crush into the ground.
"OLD SPORT! WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I CAN'T AIM LIKE THIS!"
"SORRY!"
Now making the plane shake even more violently by keep altering between left and right, it took only twenty seconds for Dave to be next to him taking control away and flying a full on loop.
"To all guest who have taken off their seatbelts, I'm sorry, but we're going to die anyway!" They screamed through the hall in their back.
"Draw a dick onto the sky! Or even better, draw a lamp!"
"Why a lamp...?"
"EXACTLY! They're going to be so confused!"
Beginning to discuss what kind of drawing would cause the most suicides and accidents out of confusing and distractions, they noticed they were heading towards a city with giant towers.
"What's in those?"
"Probably some insurance company or something... looks like an oversized bureau to me. Why you're asking?"
"If I hate one thing then it's life insurance. It's like a sign for your relatives to kill you! HERE'S SOME FREE MONEY AND SHIT! As well as they not even letting me collect mine after I died! I mean, holy hell, what did I pay them for?"
"Yeah, was the same with me. Let's go and say hi!"
"I wonder how many of them have a life insurance of their own! I sure hope most of them!"
Grinning grimly, they focused on towards the building, but were interrupted as another plane was quicker than them.
"Uh... why did another plane crash do what we were going to do?"
Dave only shrugged equally as confused. "I guess it has to do with the Lizardmen we saw earlier. Maybe they also don't like insurance companies."
"What Lizardmen?"
"Didn't you see them? Those guards were talking to them, fooled by their ridiculous skin masks!"
"... Dave, do you have a fever?"
"Never mind, we're still crashing, or nah?"
"Nah, now it isn't cool anymore. Let's just fly upwards until the plane explodes or something..."
But as he tried to grab onto the controls again, he couldn't touch them. With a confused glance towards Dave, he assumed that their time had simply run out.
More or less correct, Purple Guy pulled out the power orb and checked on its bright glowing. "Alright... this might get a little... problematic..."
"Why?"
"It needs more energy than it could regenerate while being here. No worries though, it probably won't cannibalize us. I think. It might suck matter away from the building..."
"Why does that... MATTER?"
Not even reacting to the lazy wordplay, Dave went straight to answering the question. "It will be odd for the people around us, when the building suddenly starts melting into itself, or something similar. Won't be forgotten that easily, if you know what I mean."
Rapidly coming closer to crashing into the windows and walls, Old Sport was almost thankful for the tingling sensation on his whole body that reminded him of his previous escapades.
And while everything around them was being engulfed in bright flames, they felt reality being forcibly mashed together as time and space connected in one point.
Back at home they were all ruffled up and smelled like oil, but were feeling somewhat accomplished.
"Wew lad, that was quite the adventure! I've always wanted to crush a plane!"
"I'd say it was alright... what about the skip towards the grand opening of our theme-park?"
"First this little object has to reload, I don't want to destroy it by accident and secondly, we might want to take our friends with us, right? I have a pretty good idea that would ensure we could keep them around, while not letting them notice that we are time traveling!"
"Really? What?"
"So first of, we force them to all come here! We kidnap Phoney, so Mikey has to come and Jeremy sure is down to come without any extra motivation, IF he's already out of the hospital at that point. Once we have them here, we'll time travel at night, not with the capsule, but rather with a local- to put it simple, we don't speed up the world around us, but rather slow down the time inside this house. We could go forward one month and they probably wouldn't notice. After that I'll take care of changing our architects and Construction Company, so we could build in some more secrets. Forcing the other Guards to spend a night there won't be too hard either, since Freddy's is known for its nonsense. Again, we bring them into an already finished part of the building, slow down our time locally, via gravity and boom, we're in an almost finished theme-park with no one questioning how it was built so quickly!"
Old Sport, all the efficient man had only noticed one information. "YOU MEAN WE HAVE A SLEEPOVER WITH ALL THE OTHERS?!"
"YES!"
"YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!"
Funtime Freddy peeked in, attracted by the happy noises. "What-what is so so funny? I w-wanna laugh too!"
"WE'RE GOING TO HAVE A SLEEPOVER!" Old Sport hugged the bear happily.
"Hurray-y-y-y! Who's gonna c-come to it?" Hugging him back, his blue eyes seemed to shine even brighter.
"Our friends that you have met this morning!" Dave put his hands to his hips, satisfied with the excitement he had stirred up.
"I'll make-e suresuresure they're going to ha-ve a good time!"
Baby now joined. "I've heard someone say "sleepover"? Is there a celebration going to happen?"
"Oh yes, we wanted to waste some time before your amusement park gets officially opened!"
"Don't call it my amusement park... it's our amusement park, if anything..." Baby's cheeks were glowing, a nice design choice in Orange Guy's opinion. He snickered and nudged Dave.
"Communism has even gotten to your daughter now!"
"Our daughter!" Automatically Dave answered, having played out this scenario so often in his head that he simply blurted it out after hearing "your daughter". Immediately his cheeks reddened as well and even if it was organic on his side, he and Baby gave a very similar picture.
Old Sport on the other hand was laughing and put his hand over his heart, while faking a bad Russian accent. "Mother Russia has finally conquered the American resistance!"
Sighing the Purple Guy shook his head to hide how weird he was feeling. "I'm going to make the necessary calls now, I'll be back as soon as possible."
With that he left them chatting in the workshop, getting ready to pester Phoney enough to visit him.
Once more he took out the energy sphere and stared at it blankly.
He didn't really liked using it, but it would be a waste to refuse it.
Slowly he placed it back into a small box inside of his pockets.
Henry was one scary motherfucker.
Everything was rated after usefulness and nothing else.
Except him of course.
He took pride in the fact that he was Henry's one and only friend. People came from far and wide to discuss and learn with Henry, but no matter how intelligent or influential that person was, as soon as they stopped being useful or entertaining, he would drop them like an empty can of soda.
Yet, somehow the people kept coming back, kept helping and kept learning. From simple peers on their field, to news stations and investors, they all were impressed by Henry.
Whenever it came to himself though... people nodded respectful, when they knew he was Henry's friend, but some simply frowned in confusion or huffed in disagreement.
No one knew why Henry was spending so much of his time with this mentally unstable freak.
They couldn't imagine a friendship based on loyalty and similar minds.
William had never cared about attention or credit and never wanted to make money off the inventions and discoveries they made. He had never been jealous, despite being seen as a deadweight by anyone who knew them.
The elevator had stopped, but he couldn't bring himself to step out.
Henry had been his only friend and while he sometimes teased and made fun of him, he would always be on his side when it came to problems.
When William had killed a female guest inside of the home they shared and hid the corpse in one of their closets, Henry was furious and talked to him about all the evidence that would leave behind.
But he helped cleaning the mess and didn't even consider for a second to throw him out.
Wherever they went, Henry made sure to be treated as his equal, even if it was hard in public.
In trance Dave finally left the elevator and leaned onto a wall.
Until he met Old Sport, he had cursed his own immortality and tried again and again to get rid of himself. Finding out that it was impossible, he began to destroy the chain they've build up, as if to reverse time itself with it.
Silently he winced as he thought back of Old Sport's weird behavior.
If he could get Henry back by sacrificing Old Sport, would he do it?
William or Dave?
He wasn't denying who he once was. He simply had change a little.
He knew he had to show Old Sport the book soon.
Again he took out the small ball made out of pure energy.
Energy won by completely draining a soul.
Everything that happens is fate and is fair and right. You have to work to change your own fate, as you otherwise deserve it.
That was something Henry often repeated when he heard someone complain or was asked how he felt about his accomplishments.
Henry deserved to be dead.
Frozen Dave listened to the echo of that traitorous thought.
Well, technically he was right, wasn't he? He and Henry gambled quite often against each other, looking who Lady Fortuna was favoring more. It used to be the pink-skinned man, who smiled at Dave's ever growing frustration.
All fate is earned by your own actions.
If Henry died and gambled his chance away, then he earned this fate by his own words.
Then he shouldn't come back and ruin what Dave had built for himself.
Dave was a lot better name.
It came with Old Sport's smile.

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A/N:
I'm so sorry for being so validation needy. I'm sorry for everything in general, all I want is to make you smile. Please, I hope with all my heart that you enjoyed this.

Next chapter is a MEGACHAPTER (~10.000) for Valentine's day. Thank you for taking the time and reading this :3