A Guard's life

Black Pete

A/N:
Boy I sure felt smart when I came up with the title, until I realized that probably most English speaking countries don't actually know the game and how it works and now I'm just-
*I tried, everyone.*
Also, shout-out to the person who wanted me the gang to play monopoly, there you go!

Hope you will enjoy!

---

Sometimes life gets in your way.
You make a plan.
It's a good plan, an excellent plan.
You're willing to sacrifice ANYTHING for it.
You have seen ALL the ways it could go wrong, but you are prepared.
You are READY.
...
And then a very tall eggplant cries you a river, not stopping, PLEADING with you, screaming like an injured animal-
Mike sighed and rubbed his eyes.
How early was it? Four AM?
Usually, Phone Guy would stand up at five, to be at the restaurant at six. Mike, currently staying at his place would have done the same- being awake THIS early wasn't on his to-do list though.
Next to him, Simon was resting, very soft breathing sounds coming out of him, almost inaudible.
They both have gone to bed in clothes, right next to each other.
A few days ago it had been because of the constant looming risk that perhaps the factory could turn back up. They haven't heard anything so far, aside from a mass-send email, vaguely talking about a change in leadership.
Otherwise?
Radio silence.
Of course Mike insisted to stay inside of his house, preferably in the same room at all times, in case they had to leave together.
He was ready for it, he had gathered the few things he cared about in a bag, he had made MULTIPLE plans on getting out of the house if they were surrounded and while Simon had insisted that they would be fine without them, they helped Mike feel somewhat useful.
Hell, if he could have, he would have gotten himself a properly lethal weapon- but of course, nobody would allow him to get his hands on them.
Especially not Simon.
Quietly Mike groaned.
No, no, he promised himself to not be scared anymore. That he wouldn't try to channel his panic into rage. He would handle this rationally.
But the want was there.
He was doing better, but it was still here.
Shortly he looked over at the resting body next to him, feeling himself calm down a little.
Fine, this would be fine.
They would figure something out.
Trying to adjust himself, he rolled back on his back to stare at the ceiling-
Except the ceiling was purple and there was a pair of white glowing eyes on it.
"HO-" Swallowing the rest of that sentence desperate to not wake up Simon, Mike almost jumped out of bed, causing Dave, who had stretched out his neck over the bed to snap back as well.
"You're finally awake, ain't cha Angry Sport? We can talk now, right?"
"Are you fucking KIDDING me." Hoarse due to the suppressed scream, Mike whispered, fully pissed off. "What the fuck are you DOING here?!"
Dave whined instantly. "Sorry! But ya gotta understand, he only goes to sleep around this time- and we need a safe time to talk. We gotta figure out how we keep him away from us while we prepare what we need to- to stop him!"
"... what would we even do. Really now. What-"
"I'd LOVE to figure it out pal, but we can't if he could be anywhere in the restaurant!"
"Stop being so loud you dumb bitch." Worried Mike checked once more on Simon, who somehow still was resting.
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sorry. Still, pal. It ain't like we can just meet like this every day."
"You better fucking BET we can't."
"We never know when he'll go to bed. So we gotta find a way to unsuspiciously meet at work!"
Rubbing his face, finally Mike slipped out of bed, pushing Dave out of the room with himself. "I really regret having offered to help."
"Ya did it because you're a good person!"
"It's fucking self-preservation that's all it is."
"Thank you Mike."
A bit flustered the guard shook himself and grabbed a kettle to make himself some tea. "Fuck off. How the hell are we supposed to do to keep that bastard off our asses?"
"I think if we all take turn distracting him, then we'll- yeah, that could work out."
"All of us includes Jerry, right?"
"What."
The scarred man gave him a side-glance, his expression hard. "We include Jeremy. Every time Jeremy doesn't get included, something fucking bad happens. Not to mention, it's only fair. It's what he wants. Let's just be honest for fucking once."
"But he's-"
"Yeah, I don't want him getting ripped up like pretty much anyone else here, but seriously. If he goes out on his own again, it will happen. We can't fucking afford playing charade with him too."
"Did Ph- Simon agree that that?!"
"He will when I'm telling him it's the only way to go." He seemed pretty convinced, so Dave sighed, rubbing his face slightly stressed out.
"Alrighty, you're the boss now I fuckin' guess- but then we need to go over to his place too. And if I do, the Marionette might take my balls, I don't want that to happen! Ya gotta do it yourself, pal."
"Now?"
"... shit, we don't have the time for that- okay, okay. I know his weakness. We can get him off our back for a short amount of time- we won't know what he's doin', but at least we'll have the chance to have a meetin' without him spying on us."
"For the love of CHRIST can you stop saying "him" like THAT? I didn't fucking sleep enough for that shit. We all know we're talking about Old Sport or whatever the hell took ahold of him."
"Well, if we're bein' exact it's-"
"PSHT. No. Shush. We're going to do this in our meeting, so EVERYONE is on the same page. No time for that now. What's the plan to get him off our backs for the first meeting, when we get the base down?"
Dave looked at Mike, his eyes being the brightest thing in the small kitchen, glowing bright and white, like the eyes of a machine.
"... Monopoly."
For a few seconds Mike wasn't quite sure if he wasn't hallucinating again. "... what."
"Ya heard me! We'll be playin' a few rounds of monopoly. He hates boardgames. He never knows how to play 'em and he tends to leave after a bit with an excuse, 'cause he feels like he is embarrassing himself."
"... okay, you're serious, you aren't fucking with me, this is real, WHY DID I-" Quickly he quieted down again. "Why did I expect anything else. Fuck me. Do we have a monopoly game there?"
"Yep! I'll- you gotta set it up though. When I get in, I'll join in right away, make it out to be your idea though, alright?"
"Hmhm. We'll set it up in Freddy's area. Barely anyone goes in there." At this point he couldn't even pretend to care anymore.
This was serious business and this was how they were supposed to behave.
Great.
Dave moved to the window.
"I'll be goin' back now- before he wakes up and notices I'm gone. See ya later!"
"Go fuck yourself."
"On that! Thanks!"
Tired Mike watched him leave, before taking the boiling water and making his cup of tea, returning to the bedroom to watch over Simon, until he would wake up.
At least these early morning hours would be nice.
It didn't take a lot longer for Simon to move, making a small little noise that never failed to make Mike's heartrate pick up.
On one hand he felt stupid for it, but on the other, it was nice feeling like this.
For once.
"... Simon? You're awake?"
"... hhhh... yes...? I think..."
"Want some tea?"
Finally he moved, slowly raising himself up a bit, looking at Mike. "... you've... been up?"
"Yup. Dave visited."
"Oh god."
"Exactly."
The Phone Guy slumped back down. "Can things just not happen..."
"I mean, fucking agreeing with that sentiment here, but sadly things are the way they are- so I'm gonna get you a cup of tea."
"... thanks... at least something about this morning is going okay..."
When Mike returned Simon had sat up in bed, stretching himself a bit, seeming cheered up.
"There you go, fool. Drink up, today is going to be wild. And stupid. Mostly stupid."
"The day started with you here. I think it couldn't get better if it tried."
Instantly Mike grew red, tensing up. "Don't fucking SAY these things, that's not okay-"
"It's true though!"
"I- THAT'S- I'M- god fucking dammit. Go to hell."
"Will you come along if I do?"
"... of course I will." Calmed a little, Mike slipped back under the blanket next to him, while Simon took off his receiver, slowly pouring the tea inside, not bothered at all when Mike leaned against him.
"Then it's not going to be that bad, I think I will. Not to mention, we work there anyways."
"Oh, shut up. Not funny."
Phone Guy chuckled and they decided to relax a little, before having to go.
Yes, the morning was really wonderful.
God, Mike wished he could say the same for the time when they arrived at the restaurant.
He located the games corner and pulled out the first Monopoly version he got his hands on. It was old and scratched, and when Mike opened it, it was pretty obvious a lot of stuff had gone missing.
Fantastic.
"... Simon, do we have any games in the back?"
"Uh- I don't- think so? Just grab parts from other versions, nobody really cares anyways."
Mike's hands wandered over the shelf, trying not to think about all the germs that were probably coated over everything on that place.
"... did I do the right thing, Simon?"
"Huh?" Surprised the Phone-headed man looked over at him. "... why doubt yourself now? I think... I think you made the right choice."
It was quiet for a moment, and Mike's fingers curled around the next game, pulling it out.
Simon watched him carefully. "... we can only get that far. Even if we leave now, this... is all still going on."
"Thank you." Gently the man sighed, before nodding to himself with a grim expression, getting the parts he needed and puzzling them together. "Alright, operation "that's not how the game is supposed to be played" is in full swing. Si, I need you to get us little pillows we can put on the ground to sit on, to make this look even more ridiculous."
"I'm on it!"
"Make sure they're brightly colored."
"... you really WANT to mess Old Sport up, huh?" For a second he broke off. "... it's crazy. The Old Sport I know, he would be the one WANTING this. He would be the one excited about this. You really think this will get him to walk away?"
"Dave said so and if he is asking for OUR help he better has his facts straight. And if he lies to us, we're out of here."
"Fair enough." Softly he nodded to himself. "So- we're sitting down and getting ready? Just waiting until they come around?"
"I don't think we really have any other choice."
"Well then."
It didn't really take long. First however, Jeremy arrived, the Puppet in his backpack as always, looking out of it.
"Jer. Get your ass over here, we have something to talk about. But first we gotta play Monopoly."
"... what?"
"You heard me. Get your ass over here."
A bit confused and hesitant Jeremy moved over, sitting down on a brightly colored pillow, Marion slipping out of his bag, also taking a place by his side, towering over all the sitting figures.
Mike didn't bat an eye though.
"Great, you're here too. Good, this means this is going to go as planned. First task of the day, don't fucking say anything, just roll with the game. We're going to play monopoly as if our lives depend on it, which it might actually fucking do, why IS LIFE SO- never mind, just play along. Cheat, play fair, whatever, but keep playing until someone leaves."
Jeremy seemed somewhat alarmed, but nodded.
The Marionette tried to speak up, but Phone Guy hushed him. "Do as he says, it's really important. We're going to explain everything in a bit, uh- okay?"
Before he could attempt to complain once more, he got a bunch cards and money thrown at him by Mike. "Take it and shut up."
Jeremy too got a handful of cards, not a second too soon, because the doors swung open and a tensely grinning Dave entered, Old Sport in toe, lightly stepping, smiling coldly to himself.
His eyes instantly focused in on the group on the ground, his expression unwavering-
At least until Mike noticed the slight twitch around his lips.
No, he didn't like what he saw.
Dave however jumped in joy.
"GUUUUUUUUUUYS, WHAT ARE YA DOIN'!? PLAYIN' SOMETHIN' FUN!?" He rushed over, literally vibrating on the spot. "Let us play too! Come on! Let's play! Me 'n Sportsy are the BEST at this kind of game! Right Sportsy?!"
The Orange Guy had approached slower, unsure.
"... I suppose... but I must say, today I had a few things in mind-"
"SPORTSYYYYY, come on! You LOVE these types of games!"
Mike nodded. "Yeah, what's suddenly up with you? Since when do you rather work than play at least ONE round?"
"I am-"
But before the Orange Guy could respond, Dave had sat down, pulling OS with him. "Give us our money!"
"There you go, you'll get no more, no less. Pick a figure to represent you."
"THE BEST PART! I'll be... hm... is that moldy piece of cheese a figure too?"
Old Sport frowned. "No. It seems we do not even have-"
Mike nodded. "Yes."
"I'LL BE TAKIN' IT!"
Looking between Dave's horrible choice of figure and trying to sort his money, Old Sport was struggling. "... why are there some "Action Cards" mixed into the money?"
"Because obviously you can play them whenever you see fit, to get the advantage-"
"May I have the instruction manual-"
"That will be 100." Mike opened his hand, holding it out.
"... but... that is not part of the game itself. I should be able to-"
"100. Take it or leave it."
Slowly Old Sport reached towards his stack of money and handed it over, snatching up the manual, with an expression that could probably sour milk. "... thank you."
The direct translation was of course 'you are the first to die when the time comes'.
Dave though seemed to be having a good time. "Hand over the dice, Imma go first!"
"Anyone having a problem with Dave starting?"
There was only the shaking of heads, aside from the one face that was hidden behind a very big and clunky paper manual, trying to keep up.
"Alright then Dave, there you fucking go, have fun. After that, I think we should go in a hexagon shape, counterclock wise, so everyone has their fair turn."
"Would it not be much simpler, if-"
But again, the Orange Menace was ignored, Dave rolled the dice. "A five! NICE."
He proceeded to move his little block of cheese over the board, against the direction of the arrow.
Much to Old Sport's dismay.
"That is not the right di-"
"Whoops, Dave, you landed on a yellow place. That means you better-" Mike broke off, trying to think off something.
Thankfully, Simon had his back. "You better recite the bible three times, or the next dice roll will be halved."
"Ah, shucks. Not the bible! Okay, lemme try- the first is my favorite quote actually! It's "Yes" and it was said by Jesus himself!"
Once more Old Sport DESPERATELY tried to say something. "That is NOT-"
"Okay, that is one quote, fine. Two more?"
"No that is NOT a qu-"
"Oh, oh, how about "No" which was ALSO said by Jesus!"
Slowly the Orange Guy sunk his face into his hands, suppressing a scream.
"Alright, the last quote?"
"... I'm blanking my man."
"You'll get a minus one to your next dice roll! And also, I'm next." Mike snatched the dice from the board, rolling it. For a second it got stuck on the side, before slipping down. "It's a sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssexy one. Just my fucking luck."
Mike proceeded to push his figure one space, this time in the right direction.
Simon nodded. "Green means nothing, obviously."
"Actually, the colors are signifying the prices of the property-" Having opened the manual, Old Sport frowned heavily.
"No." Simon said. "Obviously there are extra rules for the expanded version which is the one we are playing. Also, it is your turn."
Irritated Old Sport looked at him, but slowly took the dice.
He rolled it and proceeded to move along the spaces.
Mike watched him. "And? Are you gonna buy the place?"
The tormented expression on the poor guy's face was enough to make a guess, but he was still sitting there.
First he looked at the manual, then at his cards and money.
Again, the manual.
Then he put it down, thinking.
Considering every possibility.
Early game advantage vs trying to go for some of the pricier places, that will pay off more long term?
If he wanted to win, he would need to-
"Hurry the hell up." Marion growled.
Old Sport looked questioning at Marion, who was staring him down aggressively. Then finally he handed over the dice, ending his turn.
"... there you go."
Marion rolled the dice, and Dave proceeded to screech. "IT'S A SIX, IT'S A SIX, YOU WILL NOW BE JUDGED BY THE HOLY COUNIL!"
The long animatronic didn't bat an eye, simply staring down his orange foe.
This was a battle of endurance in his eyes and he planned to win it.
"HOLY COUNCIL!" Dave pointed at Jeremy and Mike. "IS HE. A GOOD BOY?"
Confused Jeremy nodded. "Uhm- yes?"
"Eh. He's ai'ght."
"YOU MAY PASS MARION. Now your lawyer fees are 50. Hand 'em over."
The animatronic hissed. "That's extortion!"
"THAT'S THE LAW BBY!"
"You're horrible."
Paying the fee, the Marionette grumbled and moved forward six fields. "What does red mean?"
Mike didn't even look up. "Communism. We need to kill the richest person playing."
"Share the wealth." Phoney nodded.
"How is ANYONE supposed to win?!" The Orange Guy cried out.
"Well obviously, owning land means you don't own money, which is enough to trick the communist for now. At least until five people hit the communism field, then your property gets taken by the person falling on the field!"
"NEXT!" Dave just suddenly screamed out. "JEREMY. YOU MUST TAKE THE DICE."
"Uhm- okay, give me a second-" He took the dice and carefully rolled it, then moving his nekogirl figurine forward. No, don't ask where that one came from. "Green also!"
"Great. Phoney-Sony, ya the next."
"Do I have to- uh- okay." He rolled the dice, then proceeded to drag his chess piece into the wrong direction, following Dave. "Caught up to you- you have to go to jail now. And uh- I know no verses. So minus three to my next roll?"
"Dang it, Phoney. Alright. That means Sportsy is next!"
"What-? Why? Mike should be-"
"YOU'RE MY PARTNER IN CRIME! YOU GO NEXT! NO WHATS, NO WHYS."
Not even saying anything, he simply grabbed the dice and rolled it, moving forward a few steps, falling onto new property, causing his expression to fill with dread. "... what does the blue thing mean?"
"Nothing much." Phone Guy shrugged. "You only have to sing the entirety of "I'm Blue (Dabadee)" without a single mistake."
Slowly the Orange Guy stood up.
"Okay. Goodbye. I need to take care of the guests now. Have fun. We will talk later."
Dave whined. "NOOOOO, NO, NO, NO! C'MON SPORTSY! I HAVE EXODIAS IN MY CARDS! WE CAN BRING THIS GAME BACK!"
"Later."
With that he disappeared.
Mike called after him. "I'm taking all your money!"
But alas, he probably couldn't even hear it anymore.
Mike snatched the money, but finally Jeremy was breaking as well. "What is going on!?"
"Glad you asked." Once more he looked behind him, before rolling the dice. "You think we can talk now, Dave?"
"Yeah, I think we're good to go." Dave snatched up a few bank notes. "We're in... I'M in a bad position right now. Ya noticed that Old Sport acted weird lately, right?"
"Yes, I did. What's... going on with that?" Jerry didn't actually seem quite convinced he would get a proper answer.
"So I may or may not allowed him to get possessed."
Marion leaned forward, seeming tense. "... so it happened. It is Henry."
Dave seemed saddened. "... of all the ways. Of all the ways, why would he do that. Why would he do that to me."
The Marionette hissed. "You fucking idiot. He never cared about you."
"Old Sport is my FAMILY! I LOVE HIM! Henry said we should NEVER mess with family- he's going back on his words, I'm-"
"If he could he would have taken you. You should count yourself lucky. Honestly, I wish he would have taken you."
"... so do I. But we ain't getting what we want, aren't we..." He seemed like he almost said something more, but chose not to. "I need to fix this. I need to- Old Sport didn't- he would have never-"
Worried Jeremy leaned closer too, mirroring his undead friend. "Please, calm down. It... happened now. But can you please explain further? What do you mean by Henry possessing Old Sport?"
Mike rolled his eyes. "Jesus Christ, Jerry. How fucking hard is that to understand. Asshole possess guy, guy turns into asshole."
"But- that's not normal!"
Every single person promptly turned towards him to give him a good long look.
"... y-yeah, okay fine, I get it, but-"
Mike piped up. "Here's the deal, Jeremy. Henry is fucked up and we gotta send him back to the spirit realm."
Simon coughed. "Preferably as brutally as possible."
"No, no, we can't DO that!" Jeremy instantly cried out, though before he could go on a rant, Mike raised his finger.
"Wait the fuck up. Just a minute. We can't? You sure about that? CONSIDER THIS, Jeremy- and I KNEW you have your morals, but LISTEN." He put an arm around the boy, causing the Marionette to look about ready to try and rip him a new one. "Henry already died."
"I- did he? I mean, I guess-"
"So. Isn't it like a God-given fucking rule that the dead should stay dead? Like that spirits should move on or something? Like, should an evil serial killer be allowed to flee god's judgement?"
A bit distressed Jeremy tilted his head. "That's not fair! Nobody can escape god's judgement anyways-"
"But why? Because god sends fate to ensure it doesn't happen?"
"Yes!"
"So what if it's US. We are fate incarnate!"
The poor boy seemed genuinely upset. "That's- not how it's supposed to go. If we- if we hurt him, then-"
"Well, what if we don't need to hurt him? We just have to somehow YEET his spirit. Or you know. Maybe at least lock him away so he can't do anymore damage?"
Finally Jeremy relented. "... what are you thinking of?"
"That's the big question." Shortly Mike glanced at Dave. "... we don't really have anything."
Taking the hint, Dave took over. "Ya see, I might be able to figure somethin' out. I can check on Henry's diary, I can look into a bit of his research- but if I do it while he's around, I'm- I don't know what will happen."
The Marionette snarled. "Since when do YOU care about what Henry will do? You never seemed to care about his cruelty towards everyone before."
"LISTEN, times have CHANGED and this is about SPORTSY. Ya know something, fucking Tickle-fingers, ya know who's really at fault for this shit? You. You and your fucking careless behavior. You never cared about him, you treated him like SHIT. And ya never felt sorry, did ya-"
Simon moved "Everyone, calm down. Let's just, uh- focus on the here and now. So you, uh- you need time, Dave?"
"Yes. You guys need to keep him busy. I'll be- doin' what I can. I don't know how long it will take- and we gotta look unsuspicious. So it wouldn't be good if just one of ya would hang out with him- it should be someone different every time."
"... easier said than done." Simon mumbled. "I'm not looking forward to it."
Marion hissed. "We could just cut his throat, dismember him and eat the pieces."
"What the fuck."
"Marion!"
It was rare to see Mike and Jeremy equally as appalled by an idea.
Frustrated the animatronic scratched over the ground. "... you don't understand how horrible he is. You just don't understand."
Angry Dave crossed his arms. "You ain't going to kill Sportsy. We're gonna do what needs to be done to Henry- but you ain't going to hurt Sportsy."
For a moment the Marionette rose to his full height- as full as he could while still sitting- glaring down at the purple man- but then he sank back down, looking tired. "The only way to cleanly deal with Henry is with the dog. And... I don't quite think he will really share our goals. He might just want to get rid of Henry and nothing else."
Mike didn't quite follow. Sure, he had seen the thing- that bite still left him feel odd- but if it wanted Henry, it could have him. "... so?"
Marion slowly raised his claws to his face, scratching over it, nervous seemingly. "... well, there are two problems. Firstly, last time it took the whole... body. If he takes it all-"
"NO. WE AIN'T GONNA LET HIM." Dave angrily called out.
Annoyed about the interruption, the bot took a quiet breath, trying to ignore him. "... something I wouldn't have told you if it were that simple. It isn't though. It never is. You see, there was a very certain issue- for a soul he takes, he wants a soul to stay. It's- something about balance?"
"Something?" Angry Mike scoffed. "Do you KNOW or not?"
"It's been a while and I- I didn't quite understand it myself." Unhappy he moved, squirming in place. "... the problem with Henry in the eyes of the... thing... it doesn't care about moral acts, but it hates that Henry causes souls to stay behind. That is what it wants to stop. Nothing more, nothing less. So, it decided to destroy Henry- but it needs a soul to stay in this realm forever. It... was rather convenient, seeing as the lost souls needed someone to free them all anyhow. So, we-"
Breaking off Marion rubbed his mask even harsher now, creating an uncomfortable sound.
Dave looked at him, his glare was poison. "... so that's why ya turned him into a soulless zombie instead of asking him when he was alive."
"HE AGREED TO IT!" Marion almost screamed, but stayed muffled enough to be drowned out by the crowds in the other rooms.
"Did he even KNOW what he was agreein' to?!"
Jeremy felt stressed out. "Please stop this. Marion- okay- so what you're saying that if the dog helps us, he might- make one of us stay behind on earth forever? That's... pretty horrible."
Mike cracked his knuckles. "You guys make a stupid fucking deal out of it. So what? We don't need its help anyways. Stop fucking fighting- we'll never get done if you don't. Dave, you look for a way to separate them while we do whatever we can."
"Starting today?" Dave quietly asked.
"... starting today." Mike nodded. "... we just need to know who goes first. Is there anyone he plans on killing anytime soon, Dave?"
For a moment the Purple Guy looked like a deer in headlights, but then he shook his head.
"Thing is- and that's why- so, ya guys- me and Henry haven't been talkin' about a lot of things, but, ya know- I think he likes ya. He talked about... interacting with all of ya to see if- and I quote- 'some of them are worth keeping'. So, I don't think he wants to hurt any of ya. Yet, I mean. He's been talking about bootin' up the factory proper again, making more robots, because he think it's time- no idea for what really. So no real murderous plans."
It was silent for a few moments.
Then short laughs broke out of Mike, bubbling to the surface, abrupt and hysterical. "Seriously?! SERIOUSLY?! What the fuck is wrong with him. Talking about us like that."
It had finally seeped through to the Marionette what was ACTUALLY being asked of them. "... I'm not letting Jeremy hang out with him."
The boy shook his head. "Yes you will. You have to! Please..."
"He's a psychopath! He's dangerous! What if he hurts you-"
"If he kills me, then I guess there's nobody standing in the of all your murder plans, so what's the big deal?!" It had just escaped his mouth, but he quickly tried to rework his statement. "I mean- I mean that- I don't think he will do that. Didn't you just hear Dave? And- Marion. We talked about this. I don't want to be shoved to the side and useless anymore. Please. I can handle myself, I-"
Finally Simon sighed deeply and stood up.
"I will go first."
Mike instantly stood up as well. "No, no, you're not. Fuck you. If he randomly decides to stab someone, it better be me."
"Mike." The Phone-headed man put an arm on his shoulder. "I know what you mean, but let's be honest. He, uh- he wouldn't stab you. I think he's as aware as we are that you're abnormally resilient- or at least we have to assume. Worst case, Mike. Always assume the worst case. Uh-"
"How would he know?!"
"It's not like you, uh- really kept it a secret."
The guard grinded his teeth, not being able to refute that.
Simon shook his head. "If anyone here has an instinct if people are about to stab them, then it's me. I survived a lot, Mike. Maybe even more than you."
"I STRONGLY DISAGREE WITH THAT FUCKING STATEMENT."
"You can do that, but uh- fact stands that I figured out the animatronics on my OWN, under constant risk of my life-"
Dave stood up too, swiftly followed by the last two. "Okay, everybody- I think Ph- I mean Simon is right here. He's clever. Take it from me, who has attempted to murder, manipulate and mess with him for a long while by now."
Everyone gave him a bit of a glare and a grumble, but Simon just shook his head, not allowing any further dissent.
"... yeah. Uh- I'm going to look for him now. You guys- make yourself useful. And keep the restaurant running. Pretend everything is normal, okay? And Mike. Don't. You know. Don't."
"Sure, fucking whatever."
"Okay sir! You can count on us!"
"We are on it."
The group dispersed, everyone shortly touching Phone Guy in some sort of weird spontaneous ritual-
And as weird as it sounded, it did make feel Simon a little better about it.
Dave stood with him last, when everyone had went off already.
It turned quiet for a little.
"... Simon?"
"Hm?"
"I'm... I think y'all will ask me to get rid of myself, aren't you? After this... when I owe you anythin' you want."
"... maybe." He wouldn't lie.
"... ya know, Henry always talked about somethin' he lacked. He never seemed to be able to pinpoint what it was."
Dave leaned back, into the frame of the door.
"I never felt it. I always assumed it's just like that, see? You exist, you feel and your life moves forward. But ya know. I never felt like this before either. This... terrified. I didn't even imagine that was an actual... thing that people felt. Henry once asked me if I felt lonely as a child. I didn't. People didn't like me and that was that. It didn't matter."
He looked over at Simon.
"I wanna say I'm sorry, Simon. I got'cha killed. I know I did. Because I was petty, because I was bored."
That came out of nowhere.
Simon wasn't quite sure what to say to it.
"Well, uh- I-"
"But I'm not. I'm not sorry, Simon. I don't think I could be. But then again, can anyone? CAN you be sorry for killin' someone? On purpose like that? After all- what else could I have expected to happen? I got what I want. I asked for it. So I won't say I'm sorry, Simon. I won't insult ya. But know at least this- I'm glad I got to know ya, buddy. It wouldn't have happened if I wouldn't have gotten ya killed- so while I wonder if we could have become friends if we would have met differently, there's no way for that. So yeah. At least have this- I respect ya, Simon. A lot. No matter what is goin' to come- you're and Mike are gonna make it out of it. Thanks for lettin' me work for ya."
With that Dave left, leaving Simon behind, standing there for a few moments.
He didn't really understand Dave.
He would never, all things considered.
And maybe it was for the best.


----


A/N:
Do you ever just have an idea and go "Oh, that would be cool", but then realize "it might not be, oh no."
Anyhow, because I'm an impulsive son of a bitch, the next chapters will be themed, but potentially fairly short.
Depending on how short they are, I might publish two chapters in one go, so you have the usual amount of stuff to read!
Unless you guys want to really S A V O R this, in which case you guys have more self-control then I do.
Thoughts on that and on my writing are greatly appreciated as always!
I don't nearly say it often enough, but I welcome criticism, even if I can't change anymore if it's a story issue- and general impressions!
Thank you for your time!