A Guard's life

Responsibility? Never heard of her

A/N: W0w. It's on time? Holy shit?
I'm probably the person most surprised by this.

-

Sometimes... it is dark.
Okay, it's dark really often. Very regularly.
There was somewhat more natural darkness than light, seeing as during storms even the daytime was dark, but the nighttime was never really lightened up by anything properly.
MAYBE the moon, but man, what standards do you HAVE for dark?! It's doing its best! Not ITS fault you got a fucking meteor crashing in here a bazillion years ago and now is a sun-copycat try-hard bastard ruining it!
Nemo was considering that he might was losing his mind at this point, thinking pointless thoughts.
HURR DURR, IT IS DARK, OH B O I, IT'S LIKE THAT HAPPENS WHEN IT'S NIGHT.
He almost wished he COULD smoke, though the stench always followed him everywhere and drove him wild. Not to mention he always felt sick and dizzy afterwards, not worth it.
Slightly resentful he stared at the phone-headed man in front of him. Sure, TECHNICALLY it wasn't his fault that everything sucked, but until a better target came along, he could stare him down. It wasn't like he was getting the hint anyways, too busy walking and talking at the same time, if he were to try and actually pay attention to him as well, he might forget to breathe and would die.
No idea what he was babbling about.
Probably the "plan" that this cyborg has crafted within five minutes and actually thought about for two.
OOOoooOOOooH BE C A R E F U L , DANGEROUS BIG BOI ROBOTS ON THE LOOSE oooOOOOooOOO-
Annoyance was eating through his stomach like a bunch of worms, but he had learned to ignore it for the most part. It wasn't really important.
It wasn't like he was angry at the phone. Just Freddy's in general. And being forced to be out at night because SOMEONE couldn't do his fucking JOB alone.
Always relying on someone else to help with the dirty work.
Maybe he was unfair. Maybe he actually REALLY wasn't able to do the things alone, though for some reason Nemo doubted that. He had shown himself to be capable of astounding things.
Passive he stared at the Phone, his thoughts somewhere else.
Ah, whatever.
He would get this done and then... probably to find someone he can give the rest of the task to, because he sure as he wouldn't. Sure, he felt bad for the machines, but not bad enough. Everyone here went through something, he had better things to do.
Or, well, at least he wouldn't look after them on his own, that's not what he signed up for. HE KNOWS HIS RIGHTS!
Or something.
When finally he realized that the white noise coming from the phone had stopped, he looked at him. "Huh?"
"Did- did you listen to me at all?" Looking surprisingly disheartened for a phone-faced man, Simon didn't even wait for a response. "... why did I take you along. Why didn't I just, uh- own up to it and talked to Mike. I- I know why I didn't, it's because it's just so much easier to die right here and never have to tell him to his face, instead having him puzzle this sh- heck on his own and just pray that he will not think too bad of me, expect then it doesn't matter anymore anyways and I can just die knowing he will forgive me, no matter what the tru-"
"Are we there yet?" He had taken a piece of gum out of his pocket, the teen was now chewing as loud as humanely possible.
Slightly the Phone looked away. "... yes, we, uh... are."
"G r e a t. If I would have had to listen to any more of that, I would have died. On the spot. Just stopped breathing."
"That's ... uh... anyways." He didn't want to bother anymore and just switched the topic back. "They're- in the house. I will go in and try- try to get them out somehow. We need to lure them to the spot where I stopped the van-"
"Is there "Free Pizza" scratched onto the side yet or do I need to do that myself?"
"- and it will probably kill me, so uh- tell Mike, that- that I- uh- that that happened."
The response couldn't have been more disinterested.
"Yeah, yeah, get on with the show. Show me the GUTS." The teen stepped back and gave him the finger guns.
Simon made a small muffled noise. "... to think that I almost felt bad for risking to traumatize you."
"What a foooooooooooool, am I right?! Go on now, I plan to like- sit on a bench on a graveyard in about an hour to get my dose of edge, or whatever, if you stand in the way of that, I will- probably do nothing, but I'll hold a grudge forever."
"The fact that you wanting to do that doesn't even strike me as weird- It, uh, is reminding me how much of my humanity Freddy's took from me."
"Aren't there some rules that should make it illegal for a boss to dump their depression on their poor workers?"
"Not at Freddy's!" Almost upbeat Simon turned away to pick up his pace and walk towards the door.
Through the cracks and windows, the sounds of heavy, metallic footsteps were audible.
"So, uh. Maybe you would like to... you know. Step back... a bit? In case of them being... upset right away?" Vaguely Simon gestured at his companion, his hand shaking a little as he did so.
"The fuck did you do the last time you left them? Piss on them?" Not very intimidated the teen glanced through the window of the house, not seeing anything.
The stare of the Phone could probably see into the next dimension and judge Nemo's alternate version as he did this one at the same time. "If I wouldn't be potentially awfully traumatizing for Mike to come to look for me and find my mangled corpse and murderous robots on the run, I would have never taken you along."
"Too bad you're pathetic and nobody would care to come with you here."
"No, you're just the only one I'm completely willing to sacrifice in case something goes wrong."
"Charming."
"Thanks, I learned from you." For a moment it became silent, then Simon made a pathetic noise. "I shouldn't argue with you, that's how you win."
"Oh, no matter what you do, I win. Learned that early, if you're the one making the win condition, you win all the time! Something not going your way? Just adjust the goal and suddenly you're doing stellar!" Casually he opened his arms for a shrug, looking incredibly fucking smug.
"... you'd make a GREAT Phone Guy." The man scoffed a little and put his hand on the doorknob, still hesitating. "Until of course your workers raise up against you."
"Viva la revolution!" Came promptly, with the worst French accent Simon had ever had the displeasure to hear.
At least that was the push he needed to open the door and embrace whatever was behind it.
That was what he THOUGHT, yet seeing the tall bear creature staring down at him, slightly twitching, was still pretty jarring.
Quietly he stared up at him, both equally unmoving.
Then Simon slowly stepped backwards. "Uh- Hey- Freddy?"
A growl was the answer, making Simon regret not having remembered the name of the soul inside of there. Then again, that potentially would anger the being too, wouldn't it?
Curse everything.
"U-uh... well, we, uh- remember what we, uh- talked about? About, uh- bringing you s-somewhere, where the nice detective man can pick you up o-once he's... uh... back." That was when the other three robots joined, making him completely lose his trail of thought.
Under the burning light of eight- technically seven- glowing eyes, thinking became almost impossible. "Uhm..."
Another step back.
Freddy stepped forward.
The others followed swiftly.
"I- h-haha... uh- I will assume, you guys, uh-" Stammering and shaking Simon tried to fake some sort of positivity in order to somehow calm them, a rather fruitless attempt.
It became quiet again, the wind blowing rather cold over the top of the trees, being the only source of noise right now.
Not even birds.
Simon never expected the day that he would actually miss the obnoxiously loud chirping of them in the middle of the night as he tried to sleep.
"You never learned how to deal with bears, did you?"
Nemo's voice almost made Simon jump.
"God you're PATHETIC. At least it's not a Friday night, that would be even worse! Wait. Is it a Friday night? Anyways, the pathetic stands. Let the EXPERT do this." With this fearless announcement, Simon was pushed aside by the teen. With no hesitation he walked in front of the animatronics, his harsh movement making them step back instinctively.
"First up! Bears can SMELL fear. So you're not allowed to feel fear. Ever. Whenever you feel fear, a bear WILL smell it and it WILL come over. Getting startled by the bird in the wood? Boom, now a bear is after you. Almost falling off a cliff? You can be sure a bear is now climbing after you. Watching a horror movie? BEAR OUTSIDE OF YOUR WINDOW. So don't." He stared Freddy down while talking, making that animatronic tilt his head in confusion and distress at this weird thing in front of him, keeping on making NOISE. "That is the first step, but not the only one. Be firm. Straighten your back. Grab his hand and hold it tightly."
Reaching out, he grabbed the stump of the arm in lack of a better option.
"Shake it. Confidently. Then get out your resume. Thank it for the great opportunity to be here."
"I, uh- what-" Helpless he tried to interrupt, but as Nemo shushed him, he embraced his fate. If Old Sport taught him anything, then it was to never mess with crazy people doing their thing.
"Shhhhh. Don't get me out of the zone. Oh- no, wait, you're right, you're right, we didn't want to get hired, I got confused for a moment. So- same steps though, but after you shake its hand, you look deeply into its eyes until you can see its spirit and then make it understand that you're the bear now."
Something changed, Simon felt as if he was close to losing balance, despite standing with both his legs firmly on the ground.
The animatronics seemed equally as uncomfortable.
"I'm the bear. Now, follow me."
As he turned and left, there was no questions from anyone, not even from Simon.
The robots followed the teen and Simon closed the group, keeping an eye on the situation in front of him. His skin still was prickling in a weird manner and suddenly he wondered if he really should have hired this teen that came by out of the blue, demanding a job.
It would have been too nice to have a normal freak for once.
Or- or maybe he was a normal freak, who just knew how to bamboozle the universe just the right way. Wouldn't be the first time something like that would run around.
The silence was continuing. No, it wasn't quite... silence. Of course not. Four robots moving were the least silent thing on this planet, the noise only being thrown back at them by the trees around them.
Could trees echo? Was he going crazy?
Anyways, there was a weird feeling in the air, usually only brought forth by a very special type of silence.
Maybe it was the absence of words?
Maybe that was the type of silence?
When words were just all... utterly useless. A void devouring words, you wouldn't dare to speak any in fear of them being sucked up, never to return.
The robots walked close together as a group.
As though they were scared of something.
If THEY were still scared...
... Simon felt a hopeless sort of pity, which surrounded him like thick fog, quieting his thoughts as well.
And thus the silence prevailed.
At least until they finally arrived at the car- more of a truck- and Nemo opened the doors at its back, before turning around expectantly. "Time to get in."
For a moment they lingered, looking at each other, then turning to look at Simon. Only Chica was staring to the ground, not reacting in the slightest to what was happening around her.
Simon stood there, feeling helpless. "... it's- not a bad place. And- you'll... you'll be save there from being taken away and destroyed if someone finds you here. I'm not- uh- the big boss. There are people who... who can... make uncomfortable decisions. Not, uh- not only for you, for me too- it's just- you kids can't even try to discuss it and I uh-"
Maybe he should be careful with calling them kids in front of Nemo, yet he felt as though it was fair to assume he wouldn't even bat an eye at it.
If he was even listening in the first place, which was questionable, downright unlikely.
The animatronics still hadn't really moved, but finally Foxy climbed in, followed by Bonnie. Freddy softly nudged his unresponsive friend, finally snapping her out of it and getting her to climb inside too.
For a second Simon almost simply closed the doors, but he hesitated and pulled out a small flashlight out of his pocket. At Freddy's you always knew to carry a small one around in case of... anything.
He turned it on and gently offered it to Bonnie, who accepted it.
Only then he closed and locked the doors on them.
Out of the driver cabin, loud music had started to blast and as fast as he could he joined the teen in the car, toning down the volume and starting the engine without any further comment.
The teen wasn't having any of it. "Hey! I was just getting into it!"
"Well, uh- don't you think it's better to NOT have music blasting so everyone in this city will notice this extremely suspicious car drive around?"
"Calm DOWN oldie, we aren't THAT suspicious. Also, nobody's out to this time anyways!" He put it a bit louder, but actually to an acceptable degree still, one that they could still somewhat reasonably talk to each other.
Phoney just rolled his dial and accepted it, but decided to be at least a little petty and bother him in other ways. Mainly, by talking. "So, uh... how did you learn how to handle bears?"
"My dad taught me. Just kidding, I learned it over the internet. As if parents TEACH their kids anything, what is this, the last century?"
"... uh." Was his only response. "... so you, uh- read something on the internet and just- went ahead to do it, no testing required?"
"The instruction said no fear, so I gotta show no fear, right?! Testing itself is an insecurity! I, as a CHAD- oh god Chad is such a great name, why didn't I-" He cursed under his breath, then returned to the conversation. "- I don't need testing. But I did this plenty of times before. You'd be SURPRISED how many malfunctioning bears roam the place! And I as the only COMPETENT guy on this planet have to deal with it!"
"That worked before?" He almost couldn't believe it. "... you worked at Freddy's before?"
"Nope. What kind of loser would work at Freddy's?" His voice was sarcastic, but it always was.
"So... that's a, uh- yes?"
"Do you have some fucking ears? I'm never worked in the furry hell."
"But, you uh- I- you sounded so sarcastic and I, uh- you are WORKING at Freddy's RIGHT NOW!" He didn't appreciate to be fucked with like this.
"No! No, no, noooo, oh honey. I work at BABY'S. I work in that creepy establishment with the borderline stripper robot. We don't have furries here- well only the GOOD furries and we also have THICC bots." The grin on the boys face was unbearable on its own, but together with his words it only became worse and worse.
"... I wish I never would have hired you. Or talked to you. Oh god." Tormented the Phone stared at the empty road ahead of them, the streetlights passing by and filling the insides of the car with a hypnotic light pattern.
"Aw, c'mon. You know you owe me BIG time. I get to talk about THICCbots as much as I please from now on!"
"That- that was NOT part of the deal!" He sighed. "We had already one weird maniac. Now, we uh- we have to deal with you too."
"Should be better at screening your employees, eh? Welp, tough luck for you!" Still smiling the guy sat back and put the music higher again. "At least I do things and don't ask questions, right?"
As Nemo looked out, he saw a shadow of a running dog shortly appearing in the light of the lanterns, disappearing back into the shadows again just as fast.
Bitterly, the teen scoffed. Yeah. Do as told and don't ask questions.
They finished up the work with surprising ease, the animatronics being quiet as they entered the facility.
Phoney wasn't sure how many of them they had. He knew they had a few, some over-, some underground. The ones underground were more long-term, as less fires and lawsuits happened with them- thus they had built more over time. No matter where, they all looked fairly similar though.
Cold, somewhat intimidating and big.
There was guilt inside Phoney as he saw with what sense of hopelessness the kids wandered in, only Bonnie shortly stopping to stare him down. For a moment Simon froze, assuming that Bonnie was considering something drastic, before he realized that it was offering him his flashlight back.
Nervously he laughed. "No. No, I uh... I'm- I think you can make better use of it right now. I, uh... have another one... at home. Yeah..."
And with that, this event was done too.
Exhausted he made his way back, only weakly protesting when Nemo refused to let himself be taken home. Just as he claimed, he wanted to be left out at the graveyard. Not that he could get in there around this time- right?
Oh, nevermind. It was the least of Simon's worry now.
When he came back, he fell right asleep, not checking for any missed calls.
Good for his inner peace, bad for Mike's.
The Guard put down his own phone, quietly cursing under his breath.
Maybe playing around with Simon's head had been a bad idea. They had little idea what the stuff did and while it had felt great to find some new options, some of them just looped around.
His cursing censor for example worked very inconsistently and they had been trying to get it shut off completely, sadly only having short-term success.
Once you tried to work around on one barrier, some other one was reset, it was frustrating. Not to mention the billions of times he was almost sure he had killed Simon on accident by removing the wrong cable.
... that it didn't was probably a bit more distressing.
He wasn't quite sure if it was only the head or if everyone at Freddy's by now had evolved a resistance to death, being now stuck in an endless loop.
His short and guilty experiment to cut the Phone's skin though had just lead to a hurt Simon and a patched up wound. Didn't really seem so out of the ordinary.
Maybe the head had some sort of... safety-mode? Something you just weren't designed to access that kept them alive?
How DID Phones even stay alive during the- phonication? Phonefication? What was he even supposed to call it!?
At this point he hadn't really dared to ask if he remembered anything from that time and his friend seemed not too wild about bringing the topic up. Understandable.
But now he couldn't reach him and while he did indeed approve that Simon wouldn't get any prank calls anymore asking for foot-lettuce at three in the morning, it WAS a pain to not be able to reach him for more important stuff.
... important, pah.
He honestly just fucking worried for him.
Even came by at his house when he couldn't bear it anymore, just to be met with... nothing.
Even the animatronics were silent.
As if everyone just fucking left.
But you can't just kidnap four killer robots and a phone, right?
Or blackmail-
With WHAT.
What would the kids still have to lose that they'd let themselves be threatened into complying?
That's right, nothing.
Right?
The cold fear in his stomach had kept him up.
God, he actually went by the restaurant, peering in through the glass, just to be suddenly jumpscared by Foxy. He heard their laughter and instantly knew, he didn't have to deal with this shit.
Simon wasn't there.
Again he dialed the number, it must have been the twentieth time now.
Fucking stupid, usually it was Simon who phoned the hell out of him when he was busy for a short while.
With his breath held he awaited a response and...
... again, nothing.
Frustration and worry mixed as he paced around his room.
This wasn't unreasonable, right?
They were pretty much at death's doorstep, at any given point in time-
Okay, fuck this, he would break into his house to see what was up.
Was this stupid? Should he take his pills, make himself a cup of tea, calm down and wait a moment to think rational about this?
Probably.
But he WOULDN'T!
He didn't have any tea anyways.
And thus with that he was gone and out.
Causing Simon an unholy heart attack as he stumbled into the kitchen at five AM, trying to drown himself in the sink and found Mike sleeping on the couch.
After the first screaming match, Simon finally got around to ask "How the H-H-HECK did you get in here?!"
"Through the ventilation system! WHY DIDN'T YOU ANSWER MY CALLS?!"
"I- I DON'T EVEN HAVE A VENTILATION SYSTEM HERE! THIS IS A HOUSE!"
"THEN THE FUCKING CHIMNEY, I DUNNO, THE FUCKING CEILING!"
"THAT IS L-LITERALLY NOT POSSIBLE!"
"I WAS FUCKING TERRIFIED FOR YOU! I THOUGHT YOU FUCKING DIED! YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OFF YOUR PHONE WITHOUT WARNING ME!"
"I CAN DO WHATEVER-" He paused, a bit irritated. "... isn't that, uh- your line?"
"Yeah, it sure fucking is, but then you went off and did whatever the fuck you were doing."
"I... took care of the robots. It's alright, I uh... you know. Was only shortly gone..." Trying to smile the Phone reached out to pet Mike's shoulder.
"... where even are they. Did you move them? Did you move the giant fucking murder bots without having me fucking there?"
Oh no.
"U-uh- I, uhm- well... they were, uh- docile... and I had- a bit of help!" This wouldn't defuse it, oh lord.
"Help. WHOMST THE FUCK HELPED." Mike had stepped back and was staring him down mercilessly.
"Well uh- I, uhm- pretty much only needed someone to hold open the doors, so I, uh- asked- you know, the newbie?" He coughed nervously.
"Why do you fucking hate me." Mike had calmed down now, but his expression was resigned. "Why. I should have thrown you out of the bed right when I saw you laying in there."
"But you didn't- wait, how long have you been in here?" Confused and mildly worried Simon finally decided to pass him to get himself a drink in order to calm his sore throat. That had been his plan before Mike so rudely interrupted with his existence.
"... a small while. I wanted to check if you were fucking kidnapped or something and give you a piece of my mind. Then I saw you sleeping and just... fucking..." Turning away, he gestured into the nothingness as though he was talking to a completely other person now. "... I kinda felt- I felt fucking bad! You already are so fucking stressed all the time, so I might as well- let you rest. It's probably some sort of crime to snap you out of looking so-"
"So...?" Now the metaphorical smile was actually real on his face.
"Go fuck yourself." Mike grumbled, still staring into the corner. "You better fucking shut your speakers, because you still went off to fucking die without telling me. I can still strangle you for that one."
"Good that I survived so I can die at your hands, huh?" Still busy rummaging around in the kitchen, he checked if he had anything he could offer Mike for breakfast. "Speaking of, uh- do you have anything to say about breaking in and going into my bedroom to check on me?"
"Hm?" Confused Mike turned to look at him again.
"You, uh. You know. You kinda, uh... broke in."
"So? I was fucking worried!" Mike scoffed. "What's the big deal?"
"... maybe I would prefer to KNOW if someone gets in here?" Simon shook his head. "You're stooping down to Dave's level like this."
"YOU DARE COMPARING ME TO DAVE? JUST BECAUSE I ACTUALLY GIVE A SHIT?"
"NO, BUT THERE ARE BETTER WAYS TO CHECK UP ON PEOPLE, YOU KNOW?"
Mike scoffed and crossed his arms. "... god DAMN- fine. SORRY, MR. PHONEY. I just can't be sure you aren't getting assassinated in the dead of the night, because everyone is fucking crazy."
"Guess you will have to move in if you worry so much." Simon was joking, but when he looked back up, Mike was completely red in the face, his expression a mixture of offence and shock.
It was impossible not to chuckle at that sight.
Which was making things even worse. "STOP FUCKING LAUGHING."
"I'm not, I'm not. I was just, uh, making a suggestion. You wouldn't need to be so nervous about me being... just at home? Or at least you wouldn't need to actually, uh- BREAK in."
"I could just take a fucking spare key for that, right?"
"Yes. And then you might as well-"
"I'll be going and doing my fucking JOB now. SEEING AS I'M THE ONLY ONE WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT THAT. GOD, IT'S LIKE I'M THE ONLY EMPLOYEE IN THE BUILDING, EVER. GOOD FUCKING BYE BUDDY. I'LL BE RESPONSIBLE NOW."
"What about-" The door slammed. "... food...?"
Darnit. He shouldn't have pushed it.
Guess he had to try and get him something into the restaurant so he had SOMETHING aside from moldy dough and whatever else was developing new life in their kitchen at the moment.
Hopefully he'd at least wait until six AM before entering the building.
Mike was clever, he would.
But maybe...
... just in case...
... he should get out of his PJs more quickly.
What a fool!
What a buffoon!
Believing that it matters when he arrives in the restaurant!
Especially when it had been "guarded" by NONE other than
THE ONE
THE ONLY
THE OLDEST
S P O R T !
Aw yeah, he was back in business baby, he hadn't felt this good in quite some time.
He wasn't quite sure what it was, but recently?
It felt like something fell off him and now he was FREE!
AND LIGHT!
IT WAS TIME!
But for what?
MISCHIEF WAS CALLING HIS NAME.
And as the sunlight was creeping through the cracks of the place he turned to Dave and Baby.
"Let's commit a crime." He said with a smile.
Dave jumped up. Hearing the word crime was the same to him as the word walk to a dog. Instant enthusiasm.
Baby flinched though. "... don't you do that every day? Isn't that getting stale?"
With no hesitation Old Sport twirled around to sign at her, somewhat startling her. "GOOD point. You know what? You pick today! I bet you're still a bit shaken up from the last time, and I didn't even properly say sorry! So, take this as my apology! You get to pick! Go on, go wild! WHATEVER YOU COME UP WITH, I'M READY FOR IT!"
"Pick? From what?" Irritated Baby stepped back, shortly tilting her head.
"Anything! EVERYTHING!" Old Sport opened his arms.
"Oh- well... if I would get to ask for something..." She trailed off. "I'd actually like to-"
The doors slammed open and Mike stood there, deeply angry.
"YOU GUYS." He signed at them.
All three looked at him worried.
"... I ACTUALLY HAVE NOTHING TO SAY. GO ON YOUR FUCKING- POSITIONS AND DO WHAT YOU DO USUALLY. I'm in the house now, so you better fucking behave."
With that, the overly grumpy and tense Mike passed them, leaving them even more confused.
Dave scoffed. "Oh lookie here, the fun-police has arrived. I'm intimidated!"
A chuckle came form Baby. "Well... we could try to cheer him up a bit, couldn't we?"
"Cheer him up as in..?" Old Sport leaned closer.
"CHEERing him up."
A wink met a wink, which in turn met the confusion of Dave. "S'cuse me?"
Baby's smile widened even more, getting close to the constraints of the robotic frame. "Okay, okay. If we really WANT to CHEER him up, then we would probably need..."
"How ABOUT a SHITTON of KITTENS?" Following her lead, Dave began stressing words at random, hoping to get back into the loop of whatever she was talking about, causing only confusion in the other two.
"I suppose that sounds good..?" The animatronic replied, skeptical. "... but how do we use them in the most maddening fashion?"
"Just pull them out of nowhere! Have them rain from the ceiling!" Old Sport was on board. "Not to mention, I bet all the doggos that find their way in here would appreciate that too!"
For a moment Baby considered, then shaking her head. "I don't like doing that to cats. How about something else?"
"But they always land on their feet!" Old Sport argued, then gave in. "Fine, fine- how about we stuff every place with endlessly long strands of fabric. We turn Mike into a clown and he won't even NOTICE."
Dave approved. "YEAH! And invisible walls 'n shit! I'll get some clear glass for that and watch him struggle the shit out of it! You distract him while I put up the invisible box and NOBODY WILL HELP HIM."
Clapping his hands, Old Sport nodded. "GOOD, yes! First up, we need lots of fabric. Let me search for some!"
With that he suddenly went on his hands and knees and began looking around.
After a minute or two, Baby coughed. "... dad, I don't think you'll find anything there."
No response.
Dave tried to nudge him, but nothing came from it either. "Sportsy, quit it, we can just go 'n ask Matt for some! Or go out and try to get it somewhere else!"
Nada.
They exchanged confused glances and Dave tried again. "... or... we do something totally different actually? There's plenty of things... we could do...?"
Nope.
Unnerved the two decided to just wait until Old Sport was coming to realize there was no fabric around. They greeted Simon when he entered, and finally, half an hour later, suddenly Old Sport jumped up with fabric in his hands.
His smile could blind a man. "Great! First strain of fabric located!"
"Only took you about half an hour." Baby shot back unimpressed.
"It always does." The guy shrugged. "Anyways, we need plenty more-"
"NO, NO, ACTUALLY IT'S-"
Too late, the guy was back on his hand and knees.
Both of his friends sighed.
"Leave 'em to it?" Reassuringly the Purple Guy petted Baby on the shoulder. "We can trick Mike some other time, when Sportsy is done bein' a goof. Maybe he has the fabric together by then too?"
Slightly pouting Baby shook her head. "No, no, it's okay. I can do things on my own, no problem."
Freddy, who had been babbling to Bonbon on stage, seemingly disinterested in their conversation, suddenly spoke up. "Y-YOU aaaaLWays do! B-Because nobod-y liiiiiiiiiikes you! You a-are so disliked that YOU-U talk to YOURSELF! I-I'VE seen THAT!"
Of course, she couldn't let that stand. "SAYS THE GUY TALKING TECHNICALLY TO HIS HANDPUPPET! No offense Bonbon."
Happily Freddy snuggled his bun before the little thing could answer. "B-BUT BONBON LIKES m-me! N-not even nooothing likes y-you, hhahaaaaahaha!"
Dave rose an eyebrow. "Freddy, ole buddy, ole pal. Why are ya so mean to Baby?"
"It's because he doesn't like that I'm the leader and not him. He's jealous." There was no doubt about that in her mind.
The bear gasped. "NO-NOT TRUE! I'M- I'M j-just-! I don't-! DAAAD, T-TELL HER IT'S NOT TRUE!"
"Can't know if it's true or not if ya don't tell me why else ya could do this." The Eggplant had gotten comfortable again at the side of the stage, realizing that between Old Sport on the ground and the animatronics fighting, he wouldn't get away for a while. He signed a greeting at Jeremy as he entered, but didn't let himself be distracted from the issue at hand.
"WE-WELL, I-- I- j-just think it's f-fun when she geTS a-ALL huffy a-and puffy!" Freddy snickered. "S-she GETS red l-like a tomato w-when ANGRY!"
"Not true!" Insulted Baby shot back. "You have a horrible sense of fun and shouldn't even be a kid's entertainer! They are mostly scared of you anyways, so-"
"W-WHAT? N-NOOoOO! THEY'Re-e NOT!" Freddy growled and climbed off the stage to be able to go face to face with Baby. "Y-yoU a-are a k-killjoy and-"
Unluckily for Mike, the ruckus had drawn him out of the office. You'd think at this point he would know better than to let that happen.
"The fuck is going on here." His eyes wandered from Baby, to Freddy, to Dave in the back, overlooking Old Sport on the ground almost completely. "Do I need to kick all of your asses? Put you into time-out? You aren't even fucking SUPPOSED to be in the same area! Go into your fucking funhouse, Freddy."
Freddy pouted. "N-nO! Not until Ba-Baby apologizes!"
"I have NOTHING to apologize for!" She shot back, equally as stubborn as her furry counterpart.
Mike looked at Dave, but he had disappeared.
Evaporated into thin, purple mist.
Then he looked slowly behind him, as if to assess that perhaps, with luck, he would be able to escape back into the office if he just ran.
But no.
Fucking great.
"... can we just stick to that you both suck and should never talk to each other again? What's the fucking fight even ABOUT." Groaning a bit Mike wandered over to a wall that he could dramatically lean on to convey how fucking ANNOYED he was.
"B-Baby called MEEE creepy!" Freddy whined, waving his arms around much to the dismay of poor Bonbon, who was hanging on with a distraught expression.
"Freddy constantly annoys me!" Was the counter argument. "And he is creepy. And a dick."
"G-ASP! BABY! D-DON'T SAY SUCH THIIINGS!"
"Oh, get off my back Freddy, there are no kids here!"
The guard wasn't paid nearly enough to deal with this shit. "All I want is for you two to crawl back into whatever hole you belong into. What do I have to fucking do for that?"
Both of them looked at him a bit offended... then at each other, forming in a split second an Anti-Mike alliance. No words needed. Just shared annoyance at the pesky guard.
"W-well..." Freddy started, crossing his arms, allowing Bonbon to rest on his fur.
"... perhaps..." Baby continued, stepping a bit closer.
"... i-if you're soooo m-mUCH better than UUUUS..." The bear clicked his faceplates.
"... you should prove that!" The animatronic was now too close to comfort and Mike backed off.
"Hey, hey, I never said I'm fucking better than you. I suck!" Mike started, just to get interrupted by the newly resurfaced Old Sport.
"That's going to make Phoney pretty happy, but why are you talking to my kids about that?" In his hands were two more pieces of fabric that he was beginning to tie together, ignoring Mike's HORRIFIED expression.
"Wh- WHAT THE LIVING FUCK DUDE. LIKE JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?"
Being suddenly out of the loop, the two animatronics paused, waiting for things to make some sort of sense to them again.
Old Sport blankly stared back. "What? What is it, hm, Mike? What was the issue with my statem-"
And with that he was attacked, much to Baby's dismay and Freddy's delight. "HEY! DON'T JUST ATTACK MY-"
"F-FREEEE F-FOR AAAAAAAAAAaaaAAAAAaaAAaaaaAAALL!" Without hesitation, Freddy jumped on both of them.
Five minutes later, Simon thankfully broke them up without any bones broken and send everyone into different directions.
Everyone except Old Sport of course, who went back to searching the ground for fabric.
As long as he didn't make problems that was perfectly acceptable.
Mike was hunted around by Freddy and Baby, making his guarding rounds a bit more draining as usual, but at least it kept the kids safe.
Hell, from time to time he provoked the animatronics anyways in order to get them distracted from whatever child they were looming over, this wasn't so much out of the ordinary.
Yes. Indeed, the day was strangely average to him.
Maybe his freakout in the morning had been silly.
He was getting paranoid just assuming a catastrophe at any corner.
Or maybe not, but even if that was the case, he should appreciate the short breaks he could get.
The day passed weirdly to him. As if time was slower for everyone around him and he was missing out of something.
Oh well. He could worry about that later.
Whenever he tried to approach someone else, some customer deemed it the perfect time to talk to him- which was fair, but annoying too.
At some point he saw Phone Guy nod at him and sign at the clock, revealing that to his shock it was already six PM.
Jesus, when did that happen?
Well, his day wasn't even over yet, but he didn't approve his dayshift to pass as fast as his nightshift at this point! The nightshift he would still have to get through!
Still walking like the air was wool, he wandered into the office, sitting down for a moment and getting comfortable in the chair. Just another few hours of his job. Not like he had anything better to do at home.
... maybe he should get his books here actually. That would be a nice way to breach some time on slower days.
Mike yawned.
Maybe nightshift was a bad idea while being tired.
Alas.
At least he didn't have to kick out any screaming children, which certainly was one form of benefit.
He had considered going home and maybe take a shower before the shift, but... he rather stay around, to keep an eye on the situation... just in case.
So he put his feet up and shortly checked through the cameras, met with nothing out of the ordinary.
Thus he put the tablet back, sighed and closed his eyes for a bit, knowing he'd get an alarm at midnight.
Might as well rest a bit-
A loud buzzing sounded through the office, making Mike jump.
No, he hadn't slept, that was WAY too short.
And it didn't came from the usual source either!
It took a small while, until he found a lost mobile phone under a stack of papers, continuing to buzz stubbornly.
Slightly lost he looked at it.
No indication who it belonged to.
The phone number on display didn't tell him a lot either.
Suspicious he looked around, but then his curiosity got the better of him. He picked up.
A rather distressed voice on the other side started to talk without even waiting a second. "ETH- Mr. Cross! What took you so damn long to pick up, I was PANICKING. I was about to tell the police that you went missing- that they would have to track your phone- I called you so often, why do you only now get back to me? I wanted- I NEED to talk to you about what you alluded to last time- I know I can't change your mind on anything, but I- you didn't see to be in your right mind and I- I have to at least try, right?! What you SEEMED to think about-"
Mike's first thought was wondering what the detective's phone was doing in the office.
Well, technically his first thought was fuck, but at that point that wasn't even worth mentioning.
He coughed, internally scrambling as to what to do.
Just stay silent? Then crush the phone?
Would that be effective?
Could you track the last place a phone call had been received, even if the phone is dead?
Alright, alright, he would have to act as though it was possible, in the worst case.
What was the least incriminating way to respond to this shit?!
MIKE WOULDN'T KNOW, HE WAS CONSTANTLY GETTING IN TROUBLE AND NEVER REALLY MANAGED TO TALK HIMSELF OUT OF IT.
Then again, if he didn't say anything, they couldn't prove it would have been any of them who had taken the phone-
FUCK, HE WASN'T MADE FOR SPONTANOUS DECISIONS!
"H-Hello? Can you hear me?" The person on the other side sounded even more distressed now.
Fuck.
"Uh- yeah. I'm just not that Cross guy." Fuck, fuck, fuck. This was even worse than a normal phone call with a stranger and those tended to be pretty bad. "... I'm Mike and I saw the phone laying around here, buzzing. So I just thought fuck it and decided to check on who was calling and who this thing belonged to."
As honest as he could be.
"Where's Ethan?!"
"No idea buddy, I just picked up an abandoned phone." He suppressed a curse word. At least it would be easy to keep his story straight, huh?
"Where are you right now?!"
"... Circus Baby's, just in the process of closing up." Oh lord.
"And you haven't- I- we need to talk, I need to know where-"
"Closing up."
"... I'll come by tomorrow. We- we're going to have to make that an official thing, I don't know why he'd just abandon his phone and not even notify anyone-" And then the line was cut.
Mike was left with a phone in his head and distress in his stomach.
From the door a heavily accented voice sounded. "AAAAAH, THAT WAS WHAT I FORGOT OVER SPORTSY GOIN' NUTS! THE PHONE! Should've crushed that right away, right?"
Dave stood in the door smiling goofily as if he had simply forgotten to close his bedroom door and now had dog hair all over his bed instead of incriminating everyone in the restaurant.
Slowly Mike stood up and picked up the chair. "I will fucking murder you."
"Haven't forgotten smashing the phone in fuckin' years! Usually I smash the card and just resell it- I've messed up, didn't I?" Now it was outright cheerful. "Oh, what can a bit of police even do? We'll fix up the security footage and then they can't prove anythin', right? Meanin' we're innocent!"
Weirdly enough these reassuring words didn't protect him from getting the chair thrown at him and hunted through half the restaurant.
"TO BE FAIR, I DIDN'T EXPECT THE GUY TO STILL BE TALKIN' TO FOLKS! HE LOOKED LIKE A WEIRDO LOSER AND DID NOTHIN' BUT STALKIN' FREDDY'S FROM LOCATION TO LOCATION!"
"HE'S A FUCKING- POLICE GUY YOU BRAIN-DAMGED PIECE OF SHIT THAT HAS BEEN FLUSHED THROUGH THE FUCKING TOILET AND SPIT OUT ON A STREET WHERE IT DRIED UP-"
"HE WAS! HE AIN'T! NOT AT THAT POINT! SPORTSY, PROTECT ME!" As soon as he spotted his friend chatting with Jeremy.
Mike drastically stopped, because he wasn't quite sure how much smaller boy was up to date. "Dave, I will come to your home and I will fucking murder you."
Thankfully Phoney had hasted to join them, defusing the situation. "Mike- what the heck happened now?!"
"... we need to talk, Simon. Pretty fucking urgently. I think. It's probably something you'd really like to fucking KNOW about."
Dave was still smiling as they hasted out. "Soooooooooooooooooorry!"
Confused and frankly intimidated Jeremy looked in-between the two human crayons. "Did something happen?"
Old Sport shrugged just as confused as Jeremy, and Dave simply laughed. "Ah, it's just some good ole Mike teasin'! But yeah, shoo, we need to get out now, I don't wanna be here when Phoney's freakin' out!"
Happily he dragged them out for the day, leaving the rest of the chaos for the animatronics and other poor guards to figure out.

-

A/N: Oh boi. We're getting there, buddies. Only thirty (not actually, I hope) more fucking chapters to go, because I don't know how you even SPELL pacing.
May god have mercy on all your folk's souls.
I want to focus again on the color-bois in the next chapter, it's just a bit difficult because they don't really push forward the story... but I think what I have in mind for next chapter would be PERFECT for them.
Well, we'll see.
I hope you enjoyed! Comments are as always appreciated! (By the way, I hope I'm still responding to all of them, recently I've been a bit on and off, so I fear I might overlooked someone. Rest assured, it wasn't on purpose)