A Guard's life

Nightshift, Funshift

A/N: I H O P E Y O U E N J O Y

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"So... this is it? We literally have no choice?" Mike peered at the giant death machines in the distance.
"Oh, well, of course we another choice, I just like sending you to your possible death!" Phone Guy was sarcastic beyond belief, but hidden behind that was mostly fear. It had been hard enough to get him to agree that Mike would take on the first ever nightshift in this place.
"You're right, it was fucking retarded of me to ask... but this is just... so fucked! Vincent literally programmed the machines to hunt us at night, I mean, he conditioned the children inside to hate us, or what fucking ever!"
"Did you expect anything else?"
"No, but-! For fuck's sake... so, the office has three entrances, right? More power than the last place, but still limited..."
"Check the cameras as little as possible at first, but try to find the animatronic that is most likely to charge at you, Foxy, and try to look if focusing the camera at him bothers him in any way."
"So it's a boy?"
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE, MIKE? I'M TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE RIGHT NOW. FOXYS USUALLY ARE GUYS AND EVEN IF NOT I'M PRETTY SURE IT WOULDN'T SAVE YOU TO KNOW ITS CORRECT PRONOUNS."
"YOU'LL NEVER KNOW IN THIS SHITSHOW!"
The loud and very autistic screeching has attracted some attention, but as soon as they became quiet again, the onlookers stopped paying attention.
Awkward both kept silent for a while and watched the equally as nervous animatronics, who were apparently discussing something as well, always turning their heads to look towards them, but once caught, pretending they were just staring into some random direction.
Uncomfortable silence was stretching even further and Mike's tense mind began wandering into random directions, until he couldn't take it anymore.
Finally he asked the question, the question he wanted to ask since he found out how Phone Guy was eating.
"So... do you sleep in those shirts...? Those buttons would hurt, wouldn't they?" Mike titled his head, still struggling imagining Phone Guy wearing other clothes.
"No, I don't sleep in those... I have a comfy pajama, also I have a wide range of sport-shirts, thank you very much."
"How the fuck do you... take them back off again?" On wouldn't be that much of a problem, since it was progressively stretching wider, but... off you would basically need to tear it apart...
Phone Guy watched him for a while before inching closer to him and leaning over, almost whispering. "You wanna come over to my place tonight and find out?"
Immediately Mike was hit over the head with the innuendo of the words and gotten red while jumping back a meter. Phone Guy just shook his head, making Mike get even redder, as he realized that it had been a joke on his expense.
"I... I... WHAT WERE I SUPPOSED TO REACT LIKE! FUCK! S-SINCE WHEN DO YOU... this... is WEIRD!"
"Calm down Mike..."
"And you even kept t-this blank face! HOW SHOULD I KNOW IT WAS A JOKE?"
"Blank face?! I'm a bad liar, can't you see... I'M COMPLETELY RED?"
They stared at each other for a while. "I want to fucking kill you."
"Go ahead, honestly, at this point I deserve it."
They sat next to each other, both sighing.
"But really, Mike, I would actually prefer you spend your night at my place and I'll take over the shift..." As he noticed the expression of his co-worker, he raised his arms in a defeated manner. "I know, I know... you're too prideful to not be the first one to face them. Maybe you think you're a hero or something..."
"HEY!"
"No, I get it. I get that feeling perfectly well... but I fear for you. But I guess, it would be the same the other way around?"
Helplessly Mike turned away, not liking to be put on the spot like this. Thankfully, Simon only smiled his invisible smile, a smile only Mike could see in the way his friend's body relaxed and patted his back.
"Thank you Mike. I will call you at midnight, then we'll figure out what to do."
"If I don't answer, don't you DARE coming over here again. Believe me, if the robots won't kill you, I will somehow come back and do it myself. Also, no need to thank me, it's common sense! I'm the fucking magical one of us, with abilities to heal himself, wherever I got that shit from..."
"Maybe from your good deeds for the kids?"
"I had those before, apparently, otherwise I would be a fried piece of meat inside of the dumpster outside already..."
"I would have buried you..."
"Are you sure about that? Well, never mind, I ain't dead yet, so might as well look forward for now. Do you think those ugly fuckers will act like they did before?"
"Not... exactly. Foxy maybe, but Ballora? Baby? Even Freddy has a few new tricks up his sleeves... or wrists to be exact."
"Baby will be a pain in the ass, I can already see it... she's probably the one creeping around and do the sudden attacks that I fucking hate. Standing around like three miles away and still managing to basically teleport to my door, cheating ass bitch."
"You're... She's cheating? Really? Is that the right term?"
"It's a game for them, so YES. CHEATING."
"If it's their game, it's their rules, so-"
"Simon, did someone ever tell you that you should shut up?"
"You, multiple times."
"THEN WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING LISTENING TO ME?"
"Must have overheard you, maybe you should scream a bit louder next time!"
On the other side of the restaurant was an equally as heated argument.
"Funtime Freddy! You can't be the first one to spend the night with Mike, you will confuse everything!"
"Sh-shut up, B-baby! I'm perfect-perfect-perfectly capable of t-t-eaching him!"
"You'll take an eternity just to get to the point!"
"But I-I-I get to it e-e-eventually! Also, B-Bonbon can help-help!"
"Yep! I will make sure everything goes like we said!"
Baby crossed her arms. "You guys will only distract him!"
Freddy leaned forward, aggressively grinning. "If you d-don't let me-me-me do it, then I'll d-d-do my best to ki-ki—kill him!"
Frustrated Baby turned away. "You're such an inconsiderate ass! Always you have to get something extra!"
"B-because I'm the-the-the star!" Freddy laughed pretentiously. "Right Bon-b-bon?!"
"Well, you ARE the Freddy of this place..." Obviously uncomfortable the small bunny looked away, disliking to be caught in the crossfire.
Ballora sighed, resting one hand on the shoulders of each of the fighters. "Let Freddy do what makes him happy. We could go easy on him, it's our first night anyway, so we should rather see it as practice."
Pouting, the giant bear crossed his arms. "You g-guys just d-don't trust-trust-trust me!"
"We need simply more practice, the fact that you are so unfortunate to take the first night is merely a coincidence. Now, please accept it or we have to talk with father about this..."
"A-alright, but-but just because y-y-you asked me-me-me nicely-y-y!"
At least father was able to keep Freddy in check... the supposed leader of the gang walked off, trying to find comfort from said man.
It took surprisingly long, but finally she spotted her purple parent and run over to him. "Father, father! Funtime Freddy annoys me again..."
Surprised Dave opened his arms and hugged his beloved child. "What did he do?"
"Ah... he wants to ruin the nightshift if he doesn't get his way..."
"And that annoys you? Isn't that already his trademark?"
"Yes, but still!"
"Lure him to the scooper and you'll be able to get rid of him!" Cheerfully Purple Guy smiled and rubbed her back in a somewhat comforting manner.
This made her slightly uncomfortable, after all they were talking about a family member... though of course father was right. If she wanted to, she could free herself of that nuisance...
"I guess you're right, I should accept him for his difference and just be happy about having him in the first place. Thank you father..."
Confused Dave furrowed his brows, but accepted whatever she interpreted in his offer of killing off her friend. Slightly baffled he watched her leave again. "You're welcome!"
Children were weird... eh... maybe he should read a few of those nifty books about children heads and-
OH, THERE WAS SPORTSY!
"Old Sport, Old Sport! Where have you been?!" Whining he jumped at his partner, who couldn't help but smile.
"I made sure the office was fine for tonight's show! Set up a few cameras, checked the energy usage of the doors, you name it! I'll admit, I'm excited to see how they'll do!"
A hard sting of jealousy flooded Dave's veins, without any warning. Yeah, he made those machines for many difference reason, one of them being to get Old Sport attached, but now... "They'll be fine of their own! How about we go out tonight and hunt some teens?"
"We're going to get the police on our case again..."
"You're no fun!"
"I want to keep my home and I want to keep you, so yeah, some things need to be stopped."
Slightly flustered Purple Guy looked at him and shook his head, before suddenly pulling out some roller-skates, straight from his ass or magical back pocket, whatever you would prefer to imagine, you SICK FUCK.
"What the..."
"Roller-skates!"
"I'm interested~"
"Quick, quick, take 'em on!"
Slightly excited Orange Guy obliged, surprised by their weight. "I never tried these out... how do you keep balance here?!"
Giggling Dave helped him up and watched him wibble-wobble around. After he felt sure enough that the poor boy wouldn't fall over at any moment, he snapped his own pair onto his feet and stood up next to him, smirking mischievously. "So, guess what you gotta do now!"
"Uh... move?" Helpless Old Sport tried to move forward without actually taking his feet of the ground, ending in him simply going back and forth.
"Pff... great work, Old Sport, keep at it and maybe you will get somewhere until tomorrow!"
"Quit making fun of me!" Shortly he considered punching him, but was too scared to fall over if he tried that. "What am I supposed to do?!"
"First off, you can keep the balance with only one of them on the ground, so lift 'em up!"
Carefully this advice was tried out and apparently it worked quite nicely, they slowly moved forward. "Uh... if I want to stop, then what am I supposed to do...?"
"Just lift your toes upwards, there's some sort of rubber at the back of the-"
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH
And so Old Sport blasted away.
"Oh. Right. I exchanged it with rockets..." For a minute Dave paused, listening to the screams in the distance. "Sportsy is gonna be pissed. Dear Lord, he's gonna be pissed..."
Old Sport was indeed pissed, but a bit more TERRIFIED FOR HIS LIFE TO THINK ABOUT THIS RIGHT NOW. Colors were flying by and somehow he managed not to smash into a wall, which was actually not a good thing, since THE FUCKING HELL WAS SPEEDING UP.
Somewhere along the line there were snippets of Phone Guy screaming at him about not being allowed to use rocket-skaters indoors, but maybe it were just his own screams being twisted apart by the speed.
Oh hey, a purple smudge!
He should try to hit it.
Phone Guy was clutching his head, not ready to deal with the orange missile flying around.
Dave on the other hand couldn't help but laugh at the havoc they managed to create again. It was a glorious sight to behold, customers, adults and children alike screaming out loudly and jumping away, before the orange comet rushed past them.
"DAVE, DO SOMETHING!"
"What am I- WAIT, I HAVE AN IDEA." Suddenly said Eggplant man grabbed his trusty kidnapper-rope and threw it into the route, being immediately pulled away, screaming in ecstasy. They were now able to communicate almost properly.
"DAVE, WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GRAB ME?!"
"BECAUSE I CAN'T LET YOU HAVE ALL THE FUN ALONE, RIGHT?!"
"THIS ISN'T FUN!"
"STOP LYING TO YOURSELF!"
"OKAY, MAYBE A BIT, BUT I FEEL LIKE THROWING UP!"
"HEY, LET'S GRAB THE PHONE AS WELL!"
"Y E S !"
Within the next round the poor manager was sucked in as well now screaming out his circuits. "LET ME GO!"
"THAT WOULD KILL YOU!"
"A FATE BETTER THAN THIS."
"ALRIGHT, IF THIS IS WHAT YOU WANT-"
Suddenly they fell out, or rather shoot out into the outside portion of the park and somehow managed to end up on the tracks of a Rollercoaster. N O I C E.
Their speed thankfully stopped them form falling off, but still Orange Guy was screaming his non-existent soul out. If he was not able to keep his balance on the ground, HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KEEP IT UP HERE?!
BUT ALAS! PHONEY STILL SHALL BE SACRIFICED!
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
MIKE JOINED THE PARTY, STANDING ON TOP OF AN APPROACHING WAGON, HIS TIE HE FOR SOME REASON CHOSE TO WEAR TODAY, EVEN IF HE HATED DRESS-CODE, FLUTTERING IN THE WIND. SCREAMING HE JUMPED AT THEM GETTING INSTANTLY TANGLED UP! The kick attack he was aiming to do sadly fell flat as he was ripped into another position by the speed and while he wasn't screaming, he was making a very distinct hissing sound as all air was pressed out of his body. What he managed to do though, was obscuring Purple Guy's sight, forcing him to keep hold of Phone Guy. "You fucking pieces of shit."
"YOU'RE THE ONE JUMPING IN YOU CUNT!"
"Fucking kill yourself!"
Now all four of them were flung around as magic and plot contrivance ensured that this story wouldn't find in anticlimactic end- well, not end but depressing middle part- consistent of them becoming an inconsistent smudge at the wall.
They all were screaming, (except Mike who was cursing) for their not-really-dear life, as they flew off the rollercoaster, landing like a perfect ten on the ground again, making everyone applaud before screaming in terror again as they continued to blast away.
ONLY ONE BRAVE SOUL, THE CHOSEN ONE OF THIS WORLD- actually not, I shouldn't spread lies- STOOD UNAFFECTED IN THEIR WAY!
"Sir, what... what are you doing there?"
"NO JEREMY!"
"RUN MY CHILD!"
"FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW!"
"JOIN THE PARTY BRAH!"
But before anyone could react, the small Guard was sucked into the gravity field of insanity and clung onto his boss, terrified beyond belief. "THIS ISN'T AS MUCH FUN AS IT LOOKED LIKE!"
"Fuck, you're a smart cookie, aren't you?"
"WE TOLD YOU TO SAVE YOURSELF!"
Dave and Old Sport were a little too busy trying to navigate their route to answer.
What is happening, Jerem-
And voila, finally the puppet was faced with his greatest enemy, the one he couldn't defeat: G-FORCE!
It was flung out of his comfortable backpack, against the next wall, an unfortunate crowd, or who-knows-what.
Rap in Pepperoni Poopet, you'll be sorely missed. Or not, you'll be back again anyway, so who cares.
Worried Jeremy turned away, but had enough self-awareness to not let go to check onto his mechanical friend. It stopped him from screaming for a solid minute though, which was pretty respectable if you think about it.
A few rounds of nonsensical screaming, finally they were stopped by some sort of higher force! If you call an especially humanoid (if you define boobs as an especially human trait) dancer Animatronic. Ballora had stepped onto the rope hanging out in the back, stopping them almost instantly.
She picked the rope up and held it tightly in her hands. Even without opening her eyes, she looked deeply disappointed.
"I- I can explain!"
"We just-"
"Actually-"
"I'm s-s-s-sorry..."
"I wish I could fucking die."
Sighing Ballora shook her head. "I should tie you all up! What were you thinking...? I cannot deal with the chaos ALL THE TIME."
"Pls don't." Old Sport tried to find some semblance of balance, while standing up, his eyes still twirling.
"Ah... you are supposed to be responsible. How can you be a guardian with this behavior?"
Dave laughed, high-pitched, his body shaking in excitement. "What are you TALKING about?! THIS WAS AWESOME! WE SHOULD DO THAT AGAIN!"
"NO! NONONONO!" Phone Guy jumped up, jumping around in anger. "NEVER AGAIN! YOU WILL LEAVE FOR TODAY! I WISH I COULD FIRE YOU! GO! NOW! BEFORE I RECONSIDER!"
Slightly intimidated, team Psycho left towards the entrance, leaving before any more bombs could go off. Most customers followed their example, as it was closing time anyway.
Jeremy had picked up his companion, sorrowful trying to check for any broken parts, until the Marionette finally floated upwards again, slightly salty.
What the hell. This was not part of the deal...
"There was a deal?!"
What I meant was that I did not expect that to happen. Usually things like this simply don't happen!
"But... I mean... okay, we didn't have a roller-coaster before, but..." Jeremy pondered for a while, but soon was distracted by a giant yawn. "We survived, didn't we...? I'm sleepy... let's go home..."
Smiling, Jeremy picked him up and hugged him tightly while walking outside. Mike watched as the restaurant got emptier and emptier by the second.
Now it all... was creepy. That's how Freddy's was supposed to be, apparently. People LOVED the freaky stuff.
Simon came closer, as usually somewhat glued to his one and only friend. He probably was more scared than the Nightguard himself. Admittedly, the place was eerie... the sudden silence, only broken by childish laughter coming from the unseen animatronics... yeah, this was as bad as when he first had started.
The robots had vanished into the back, reminding him as well of the old times. Well, usually the animatronics became silent at evening, seemingly tired of their day work and since he now knew that there were actually people inside of them that actually made some sense.
Wow, he really just casually thought that.
W O W.
Freddy's was disturbing. Maybe he should remember that.
Nervous Simon looked around, searching for something apparently, something Mike would bet his sanity he could never find here.
The will to live? Maybe.
The source of danger? Probably.
Mike personally felt slightly smothered by his friend's overprotective acting. It wasn't as if the Phone would actually be able to do anything...
"Simon, you should leave now."
"Why?! You still have about six hours-"
"That I'd rather spent sleeping!"
Phone Guy slightly jerked back at those harsh words and finally backed off completely. "I'll call you at midnight. Please... stay safe."
"Fuck off mate, I can handle this!" It was maybe a bit unfair, but the annoyed Guard simply couldn't take this fearful energy radiating from him.
"Hear from you later..."
Once the Nightguard settled into the office, he asked himself if he actually COULD sleep in here. The old animatronics wouldn't move until midnight, for... reasons? Everyone here had some sort of weird code of honor that they followed for whatever godforsaken reason.
Maybe that was just M A G I C. After all, he was currently not taking the animatronics apart-
If he did that-
His mind felt red. So very, very red.
Of course he wouldn't take the animatronics apart! After all, they were the attraction and without them, they wouldn't make any money and if they wouldn't make any money, they would have to shut down. Would be pretty stupid, wouldn't it?
Slowly he closed his eyes, feeling himself nodding off.
"L-l-look Bonbon! MIKEY IS-S-S SLEEPING!"
"You may want to be silent Freddy, after all-"
"NOT ANYMORE, FUCKHEAD!" Almost falling out of his comfy chair, the human got into attack mode, his torch at his side, ready to bash its mechanical head.
"C-calm down, friendfriendfriend! I'm here to-to h-help you!"
"Freddy is right, you know? We came here to explain you the rules!" Bonbon cheerfully gave an energetic fist... paw up.
"Oh fuck no. I don't want your help, fuck off." Trying to get into a more comfortable and especially more dignified position, he growled at the giant machine in his office. Yes, he might should be afraid, but he was WAY too angry to feel any amount of fear.
This enormous piece of metal shit was cramming the already small place even further, giving him a fucking headache out of claustrophobia.
"Well, that-that-that is rude-e-e! I just w-wanna be a nice-NICE-nice friend!"
"FRIEND?! YOU CAN FUCKING FUCK OFF WITH THAT BULLSHIT, YOU WILL TRY TO KILL ME IN ABOUT-" Shortly he checked the time, noticing that it was literally one minute midnight. "ABOUT NOW."
"I-I-I swear I won'twon'twon't! We're honest m-m-machines, RIGHT Bonbon?"
"Yep, totally true! We all made a deal to make the game fair, so you can rely on us to help you!"
"HA! GAME! I KNEW IT! YOU SHITHEADS ARE PLAYING A GAME WITH MY LIFE! WELL, FUCK YOU!"
"M-mikeyyyyy- Don't do-do-do that to ME! I wanna keep you safe-safe-safe!"
"I'd feel safer if you would PISS OFF!"
The mechanical bear tilted his head, his eyes glowing brightly blue in the darkness. "You should r-r-really take mymymy a-advice, friend... or you will get n-none at-t-t-t all!"
"Nooo, Freddy! You can't be that mean! Let's be nice to Mike and at least try to explain it to him, okay?"
With shaking hands the human turned to the bunny. "You're even more FUCKING ANNOYING than THE FUCKER HIMSELF! SHUT UP! NEVER SPEAK AGAIN! I DON'T CARE!"
"But... Mike... I'm keeping him from killing you..."
"KILL ME! FUCKING FUCK! YOU'RE SQUEAKS MAKE ME WANNA BLOW MY FUCKING BRAINS OUT! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!"
Suddenly there was a polite knock at the door. Baby stood there, smiling slightly pretentiously. "Problems?"
"Shu-shu-shut up BABY, I'M p-p-p-perfectly able to deal-deal-deal with this-s-s!" Aggressively Freddy huffed.
"It's past midnight, we are actually supposed to start now..."
"NO! Y-y-you don't HAVE to, right?! I didn't-t-t even go-o-o-ot to EXPLAIN!"
"Freddy, you said you would be able to guide him."
"I-I-I-IAAAMMMMM! GO A-AWAY-YYYYY!" Fully glitching out of rage, Freddy threw Bonbon right at her face, an ugly CLUNK echoing through the halls.
Now Mike had two angry animatronics in his fucking office. GREAT.
"For heaven's sake, could you both just SHUT UP!" Mike wasn't one to be sensible, especially when it came to machines that were perfectly able to kill him at any minute.
"I DIDN'T EVEN SAY ANYTHING!" Insulted Baby rubbed her face, even though she shouldn't be able to feel any sort of pain.
"B-but you're stupid-id-id anywayyyy!" Apparently Freddy felt as if he found some sort of spiteful ally in the Nightguard.
"NOW BOTH OF YOU WILL LEAVE!" Feeling slightly more confident in his position, Mike was brave enough to tell both of them what he really wanted, even if he had the slight worry that it could entail them ripping him apart. The world belonged to the bolt or something like that?
Baby shook her head, her red pigtails making it look slightly silly. "Freddy HAS to explain this all to you! Otherwise we'll just get you in under an hour, making this whole game pointless!"
"This ain't my first rodeo, Baby, I can fucking deal with this on my own! WHY DOES EVERYONE JUST ASSUME I CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!"
"We-We-We aren'tttt thinking THAT, it's just-just-just that we are p-p-p-pretty great ourselves!" Smugly he shook his head, laughing at the human as one would at an overly confident toddler. This just broke even more straws that represented Mike's sanity.
"WELL, YOU AREN'T AS GREAT AS YOU THINK! I survived THREE generations of animatronics, I won't falter against you baby-ass-bitches!"
The girl seemed ready to give up. "Fine, if that's the way you want it... Let's leave him, Freddy and get ready to attack."
Bonbon squeaked loudly. "That's... that's not fair! How about the vents? We HAVE TO tell him about that!"
Mike took a quick look at them. "Let me guess, I have to CLOSE them?"
"Y-yeah, but... Please, Mike, you don't know what you're doing! What about the pattern of the Minireenas attacks? The controlled shock? The way Foxy attacks from one of three different places?"
"I'm gonna see that when it happens! I'm not mentally retarded, unlike you and your fucked friends!"
Aggressively Bonbon stopped to stare at him.
"Alright then." His high-pitched voice made a pitiful attempt at being threatening. "In that case, there should be no problem if we give our all tonight, right?"
"Just try it, you literal manifestation of cancer!" He wasn't scared, of course not. Fear was the emotion of the sensible and smart, two things you couldn't REALLY say about the human in this place.
"Alrighty! Freddy, let's go and get him!" Bonbon had quickly changed perspective apparently and was now perfectly fine with getting himself a little bit of red onto the fur. To everyone's surprise was it the psychotic bear himself who was having second thoughts.
"No-o-no-no! We can't-t-t just give him up-up-up like that... also, if-if-if we give up no-o-ow, we won't get to decide-e-e-e what happens to-to-to the corpse!"
Bonbon rolled his eyes. "Who cares?! He's a stupid idiot, he isn't even worth that we take the time to decide his death!"
Freddy furrowed his brow. "I wanna eat-eat-eat him! No, we'll s-s-s-stay here!"
Why was live on earth such a fucking hell? "No one of you fucked creatures will get to eat me! I WILL SURVIVE YOUR BULLSHIT, FOR FUCK'S SAKE!"
But to no avail, Freddy had already settled back in. "Don't w-w-w-worry, Mikey, we're still-still-still friends!"
"I DON'T WANT TO BE YOUR FRIEND!"
"You're so-so-so funny when you're m-m-m-mad! AHAHAHAHAHAHAahaHhAhhHAhaaah!" His laughter was ever creepier than Dave's and that meant A LOT.
The leader of the animatronic team simply turned around. "I will tell them that we are ready to go now. Be prepared for our attacks, Mike!" With one last giggle she left the entrance and vanished into the darkness.
Quickly Mike took one small checkup over the camera. Ballora was in a room where the camera's had been cut off, but her music made recognizing her incredibly easy. Funtime Foxy was running around outside the restaurant, shortly freezing when its eyes met the glowing camera.
Ah, slowing him down. Fine that was easy to remember.
Freddy was sitting behind him and could potentially snap his neck at any minute, so he wouldn't have to worry about that.
He toggled the camera and checked inside the vents. It seemed that this was Baby's domain, even though he couldn't spot her anywhere, her constant laughter made her placement pretty clear.
Now... where were the Minireenas?
He could spot those small devils scattered around the restaurant, only catching glimpses of them as they ran around and hid in different places. Were they able to kill him?
He doubted that. In any case, if they came to close, he would just slap them away or something, he was like twenty times bigger than them for god's sake!
The night began with the soft chime of bells somewhere in the back, a noise Mike has gotten used to only recognize on a subconscious level, as the rest was focused on keeping the schedule.
But what schedule?
Once more he checked Foxy, making it stop dead in its tracks, before changing back to the room with the broken down camera. Turns out it wasn't broken at fucking all, but rather the darkness followed Ballora like a mother, while she stayed only audible through her all-consuming music.
Weird. Yet, if she was in front of his door he could probably hear her...
Baby still hadn't come out of hiding, but that was no surprise, after all it was the first night. Maybe she had a trick she wanted to reveal on later nights.
Freddy behind him began humming to Ballora's tune, out of synch and pretty shitty in general, but it was better than his constant talking, at least in Mike's opinion.
Thankfully, Mike's opinion was the only one that currently mattered anyway.
He forced himself to not check the cameras and listen to the sounds surrounding him instead, a way that had saved him his life quite a lot of times.
Yes, indeed, he could be proud to say that he managed to adapt the most different of tactics while being stuck in this godforsaken restaurant, skills no one in the real world ever probably wanted or needed.
This was just great.
The animatronics moved fairly slowly and somewhat clumsy even, not used to being supposed to sneak around the establishment. It was easy to hear them coming from a mile away and no matter what side Ballora chose, she was greeted with a firmly shut door.
For Baby he would need to think of something though... her ever annoying presence made him nervous.
"Hey-y--y Mikey-moo! How 'bout you-you-you check on Foxy? Better sorry than d-d-dead!"
Growling the human admitted to himself that that was not a bad idea. Flipping up the cameras without really acknowledging that, he quickly spotted that Foxy gave some sort of excited glow from his eyes, which he assumed was due to him getting ready to attack. Oh, if only all animatronics were this obvious when they were planning on literally jumping down his throat.
"Fox-x-x-xy can come through three-three-three different p-p-places!"
Stress made Mike almost make a dirty joke, but he was thinking better of it, especially since he knew it would only end in his own despair and shame.
"There's-s-s the front-t-t, the back-back-backdoor and it f-f-found a window somewhere that-that-that shouldn't be-"
CLING. Oh boi, that was probably a window.
"C-closed...?"
Not even upset Mike checked the cameras and yes, the window was shuttered and the white fox was holding its snout, whining.
Ballora immediately changed places away from the office door, giving the person inside a chance to save even more battery. Their dispute was echoing through the halls, but even if she sounded pretty peevish, it was obvious that she was attempting to help the poor creature.
Well, what they wasted in their stupidity, was his win for freedom. Silently cursing at himself, more out of comfort than anything else, he leaned back and closed his eyes, knowing that they would try to use his own fear against him to waste power.
He knew better though.
Freddy curiously looked at him. "B-bored already?"
"Of course, after all I'm just fighting for my life right now, nothing I really care about."
"W-wowoowowow, you're pretty h-h-hardcore!"
Being called hardcore by an animatronic was similar to being called "rad" by your parents. They probably meant well, but it came out almost more painful than being called a total failure.
"Shut up Freddy."
"Wanna hear a-a-a-a JOKE?"
"NO."
"What did the-"
"I SAID SHUT UP BEFORE I RIP YOUR SHITTY HEAD OFF YOUR BODY."
Pouting Freddy turned away again. "I just-t wanted to-to-to shorten your n-n-night..."
"The night is already short enough, thank you very much... NOT." This was true though, whenever he spend the night at Freddy's, it never felt like a night... it was as if everything sped up, or as if his body slowed down... but that could be due to his sickness warping his perception of time. Wasn't the first place that happened.
Ah, Ballora was back. Left this time, her music was pretty silent...
CLUNK.
OH. OH NO.
Mike closed the door, thankful that she kicked against something she hadn't seen. She was smart enough to make her fucking music quieter when she came closer, HOW THE FUCK HAD HE NOT THOUGHT OF THAT?
Now he knew. Great.
God, maybe he should just open the door and kill himself.
RING! RING!
"Hello? H-hello, hello!"
"Hey, PG."
"Ah, you're alright! I'm glad... sorry, I've called later because-"
"Doesn't matter, I already figured everything out."
"WHAT? HOW?!"
"By using my fucking brain that I DO have, even if you don't believe that." Quickly he summarized the different tactics they were using, before checking his camera and adding that the Minireenas were visible on the screen and should get a controlled shock.
"This... this is really impressive! But..." Like always Simon found something to worry about. "What is about Freddy?"
"Well..."
"I'm-m-m-m right here, b-boss!"
"FREDDY IS IN YOUR OFFICE!"
Groaning Mike held the receiver away from himself. "Yes and he doesn't do anything. Chill the fuck out, don't you think I wouldn't notice a giant machine creeping up behind me?!"
"Some... some didn't." Those words were laced in bitter sadness.
Unsure of what to do, the Nightguard simply decided to drop the topic. "Anyway, apparently they will explain the rules themselves to any new Nightguard, to make it """FAIR""", whatever that means for them."
"F-f-air mean-s-s-s fair!" The bear held the opinion that it shouldn't be too hard to grasp. "We alway-y-always give our b-b-best to be n-n-niceeeee, so... except that-that-that one time with the m-m-milkman."
No, he DIDN'T want to know what he was talking about.
Phone Guy paused shortly, deep worry in his voice. "Are you sure he isn't going to..."
"Well, if he is then I can't do any-fucking-thing about it, right? We have to hope for the best you know, something that worked out far more often than actually reasonable."
"Alright, I leave you to it then-"
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARFFGFRGFRR" All he wanted to fucking do was to take another look at the vent and now he had currently a FUCKING MINIREENA PLASTERED ONTO HIS FACE.
"MIKE! MIKE, IS EVERYTHING OKAY? WHAT HAPPENED?"
"THERE'S A FUCKING ANIMATRONIC ON MY FACE!"
"WHAT?! WHO?"
"THE FUCKING MINIREENAFUCK! GET OFF! GET FUCKING OFF!" The sudden burst of laughter on the other side didn't really help to relax the situation. "WHAT'S SO FUCKING FUNNY, YOU FUCK?!"
"It's just... it probably looks so silly!"
"I COULD GET MY EYEBALLS RIPPED OUT AND YOU THINK THAT IT LOOKS SILLY?!"
"Well... uh... stay calm! Old Sport's Minireena once did the same thing to me-"
"YOU HAVE NO EYEBALLS, YOU TWAT!"
"Uh... right. Damn. But if she wanted to do that, she would already have done it, right?"
For a second Mike decided to stay still, resulting in the small machine giggling. "IT'S LAUGHING AT ME, SIMON!"
"We are all laughing at you- just kidding. At least laughing is better than trying to kill, right?"
"I can't see very well... urgh..." A slight semblance of fear was creeping into his voice. Finally it sunk in that the animatronics were actually just playing with him. They were literally just playing.
They could chose to kill at any moment.
That wasn't comforting. This was pretty nerve wrecking in all honesty.
If he really stopped to think, he... he was actually surrounded by murderers all the time. Actually, everyone could chose to kill him, at any second, without any provocation.
His life was hanging onto a thin string representing the weird mood swings of most of his co-workers. Screw that, all of his co-workers. If Jeremy suddenly decided it was time to STAB EVERYONE, then he would not see that coming and would probably be unable to do anything.
On the other hand... what could actually kill him?
Doubtful he stared at his hands, hands that had been cut apart by metal and glass, without looking any different.
What was he?!
"Mike? Are you still there?" Simon thankfully stopped this mental breakdown.
"SHIT, FOXY!" Checking and YES, THE FOX WAS CURRENTLY RIGHT ON ATTACK MODE, RUNNING UP RIGHT ON THE RIGHT SIDE. In the last second he managed to close the door, making Funtime Freddy play a fake applause.
"I-I-I already-y-y thought you-you-you were goner!"
Grudgingly Mike shot him a dirty look, wishing for him to just fuck off. Sadly, his dirty look was currently obscured by a small ballerina, so he wasn't sure if he got the right message across. "But I'm not, so shut it."
The voice on the other end of the phone sounded a bit calmer. "So, you're still alive... good. You should be almost done by now, how much power do you have left?"
"Plenty." No matter how high the number was he would tell Simon, he would still find a way to throw a hissy-fit.
"Mike... okay, okay."
A giggle sounded and instantly Mike checked the vents. Baby actually showed herself, lying inside with a smile, holding up a piece of paper.
'You're doing well'
It was written neatly and her smile made him uncomfortable. She giggled once more as she saw the camera had activated and wrote down something else.
'But we can do better too. See you next time'
Suddenly the clock chimed and it was six o'clock.
Confused he stared at the phone that was deactivated.
What... what did just happen?
He lost time again.
Freddy patted his back, making the human almost crush into a table. "G-g-good job, friend-d—d! Next time-time-time it'll be e-e-even better!"
And with that the monster left.
Birds were singing outside. Maybe. How would he fucking knew, he was in the belly of this monstrous complex, he couldn't hear shit from the outside.
Slowly he rose from his place, his legs shaking for no good reason. God, he should go home and sleep.
Ballora was accompanying him towards the door, respectfully bowing. "Save me a dance for another day... perhaps."
Freddy had a shit-eating grin on his face, proud of himself to have won this round against the others, ignoring that he barely did anything and all his friends held themselves back. No one really was in the mood to correct him though.
Baby couldn't help but smile at this first night. "Alright everyone! Let's gather around and discuss what we will do next time!"
Ballora hid her face, deeply distraught. "I accidently hit the wall while closing in on him. I was so close... oh god... this is such a disgrace..."
"Ah, come on Ballora, you did well!" Baby smiled at her, pretty glad that Mike hadn't gotten caught that easily. She wanted to kill all the guards herself and if someone else would have gotten them first, they would have gotten to decide what happened to them...
Thankfully, she still had all the time in the world to think of a perfect fate for all of them!
In all honesty, she wanted to keep them... even if it would get complicated to make them join their group.
Hm... maybe that would actually be the fun part...?
"B-baby?! WAKE UP-UP-UP!" Freddy began shaking her violently.
"WHAT IS IT?! Stop!" Shrieking out of shock she looked over.
"You d-d-didn't react at all-all-all!"
"I was rebooting! Be more patient!"
"Y-you're lying! Righrightright, Bonbon?!"
But his little companion stayed silent, sulking apparently.
Sunlight crept through the high windows, reminding them that a new day was about to start
Ballora turned away. "I will... practice another dance now. Please forgive me."
Freddy yawned loudly. "I'll go to the charging station..."
Foxy simply rolled around and then ran away. Fine then.
Baby sighed wondering why they even got her to listen to them again. Never mind. Silently she returned to her stage to have a good view of the entrance, maybe she could scare whoever was first today...
But until then she was free to consider which torture would break the mind of humans the most easily. Maybe she should ask her father today.

----------------------------

A/N:
My exact thoughts while writing the roller-skate part: Huh, since they regenerate, would them all becoming a smudge on the wall mean that they would become a cruel fusion of minds?!
Wouldn't that be a kick in the... thankfully that won't happen though.

Now, everyone... I actually have a question: Would you think shorter chapters would be better? In the beginning it started out with only 3.000~5.000 words and I don't know if that was better to read. Long chapters can be quite tiring, so... would you prefer if I used ~6.000 words as a maximum instead of a normal benchmark again?