ceo; pjm (cringe af do not read)

| eighteen |

its been forever, dudes. im back!

_

"m-mr park-" i was sushed by his lips slamming onto mine harshly. i let out a small whimper, as tears grazed my cheeks. i didnt know why i was crying.

arent i supposed to be happy?

yes, i was supposed to be happy. but i wasn't. it hurt even more. i didnt understand why, what was going on.

he is kissing me, this time for real.

(its so awkward writing this oml)

i wasnt dreaming, no. this time, it felt real. it did. of course, i would never be the one to kiss first. to make the first move. i would never have ever dared to call him perfect, he knows he is perfect anyway.

he slowly parted the kiss, his forehead bumping into mine. he breathed into my lips, making a small shiver run down my spine. his eyes were closed, as he breathed deeply. mine were wide.

my eyes were wide.

this was my first kiss.

in my whole life, i have never been kissed before. yes, it was weird. why? because i am already this old, and have never been kissed. i just always have wanted to treasure my first kiss.

and yes, i will. i will treasure my first kiss.

but i hope to treasure the others too,

"sang ki." he muttered lowly, slowly lifting his head. my tears had stopped rolling down my cheeks by now, but there was still this pit of pain in my heart.

"y-yes?" i breathed, and shut my eyes. his voice was tender, a little too tender.

"p-please pretend this never happened." and my eyes shot open. i couldnt believe what i heard. pretend it never happened? my body stopped functioning, as i just stared blankly at the man that was letting go of me.

didnt he just-

"im so sorry, miss sang ki, but i might ask you to leave now." he blurted out before i could say anything. i didnt move.

"wh-what?" my voice cracked. i was sick of crying but i couldnt stop. why did he do this? why me? why?

"im sorry." he looked at me with blank eyes that were filled with tears threatening to escape. he didnt let them.

"no. im not going. j-just tell me what happened?! what did i d-do?" tears. tears were blurring my vision, as they started rolling down my cheeks again. this time, i couldnt stop the sobs that lurred in my throat.

he just stared at me, blankly. it took him a while, before a small tear rolled down his cheek.

i just stared at him. i was getting dizzy. i couldnt muster up words to yell at him, or to tell him how much he hurts me.

"y-you... dont know h-how much you hurt m-me!" i sobbed, before my eyes shut closed.

"s-shang ki.." for once, regret spluttered up in his eyes. his eyes that used to look so blank and distant were filled with so mucb regret and sorrow.

"you hurt me! you hurt me so much!" i sobbed, this time managing to blurt it out without stuttering.

his eyes shut closed, before he walked towards me.

warm.

warmth engulfed me. he was hugging me. no, more like holding me. he was holding tightly. i let my arms fall to the sides, the pain growing again. it was clasping my heart again, the pain.

"sang ki, i cant. i just cant." he mumbled, before my shoulder suddenly turned drenched. his tears were warm. hot.

"dont c-cry..." he mumbled into my ear, making my heart burst. just how much more is he going to make me feel like this. telling me not to cry, but being the reason to why i would cry so much.

no, he didnt care.

but then, his tears were saying something else.

_

im sick. im so sorry if you guys found this update late and all-over-the-place, because i surely do... i have been going through shit, and now im sick. im not at school so i thought that i might update~

remember, i love you all!!!

(and i might do a double update today, maybe later today ❤)