The Piano Knows Something I Don't Know

Why?

Why?

Patrick woke me up at around five o'clock by blasting an Elvis Costello song into my ears, but for once, I didn't resent him for it. I did have to head to the airport, and waking up early would give me a nice opportunity to pack up my last few items before I left. I let out a yawn as I rolled out of bed, but I told myself that I could get some sleep later. I would be home all summer, and I could sleep when I got there.

I stuffed a few last minute things into my backpack and then walked to the dining hall with Patrick. After both of us had loaded our plates with pancakes, Patrick babbled about the summer job that he had found. "I'm going to be working at a pet store!" Patrick said, smiling. "The manager even said that he would put me in charge of the bunnies. I can't wait!"

I tried to listen to Patrick, but I was far too tired to pay him any attention. Instead, I focused on eating my breakfast. I did think that Patrick's new job would suit him better than the internship that he had during the school year. I reminded myself to ask him about it again when I had a little bit more energy.

After breakfast, Patrick, who had an even earlier flight than I did, took a taxi to the airport. Once he had left, I took one last walk around campus, watching all of the buildings light up as the sun rose. Was this what beauty looked like? Surely, nothing could be as beautiful as Brendon, but the sunrise at Kale University came close. How could I say that anything was beautiful anyways, if nothing could compare to Brendon? For that matter, who was I to judge what beauty was? I let those questions empty out of my mind and simply watched the sun rise.

When the bright colors began to drain away, I left the Kale campus for the last time that year. As I walked through the Kale University gates, I officially said goodbye to my freshman year. I wasn't sure whether my first year of college had been a dream or a nightmare, and I certainly wasn't sure how to feel now that it was over. Was I supposed to feel glad that it was all over, or should I be heartbroken, already nostalgic for the golden days of my freshman year? In the end, I felt a mix of the two. I suspected that was how life was. It was a concoction of triumphs and tragedies, of vices and virtues, and the only thing that I could do was deal with whatever was thrown at me.

I walked further down the sidewalk until I reached the Old Haven Cemetery. When I got there, I wandered through the cemetery, searching for one particular grave. At first, I couldn't find it, but I did walk past dozens of other graves. I wondered what sorts of lives these people had led. Did any of these people deserve to die? Was one life ever more important than another? It was easy to say that Brendon was the most important person in the world to me, but I was only one man. The other people buried here had families and friends and lovers, just like Brendon had. In the end, I couldn't answer my own question. It was an impossible conundrum, just like so many things in life.

When I did find Brendon's grave, I was surprised that I hadn't noticed it earlier. It was by far the newest grave in the cemetery, and I walked right up to it and placed my hand over the tombstone. I let out a single tear before I remembered what I was here to do.

I reached into my backpack and took out a bouquet of roses. I then placed it next to Brendon's tombstone. I thought it was fitting that this had been the first gift that Brendon had given me, and now I was giving it back to him. It was a small gesture, and perhaps it would have worked better if he was still alive to appreciate it, but it was the least that I could do for my soulmate.

I left the roses next to Brendon's grave as I left the cemetery and caught a taxi to the airport. However, as I checked my bags and went through security, I couldn't stop thinking about Brendon. My relationship with him had been one of the best parts of my freshman year, yet his death had nearly ruined it. Nevertheless, I was glad that I had met him.